Oswald is Pansexual

Oswald and Isabella arrived back at the mansion in silence, Oswald escaping the limo as fast as he could, afraid of what he might be forced to say after his experience with Isabella.

They went into the living room, Oswald still shaken, and looking around fervently for Ed, who was nowhere to be seen. Oswald's nerves were in a heightened state of anxiety.

He finally turned to Isabella and addressed her.

"I can't understand it. I never thought I could feel anything for you. No, really! This makes no sense at all! I have no idea why this has happened to me. I'm confused, and let me tell you, I'm more than a little upset about it!"

"Ahhhh, Oswald - you sweet thing! And thank you for saying you like me after all. This is just wonderful news for me! Now, Oswald, listen to me - I think I know what the answer is."

"Then pray share, Miss Newlove. Clue me in, please, the suspense is killing me!"

"Awww, my dear Oswald. You are so adorable when you are bewildered, did you know that? No, of course you didn't. You are too modest. Anyway, my beautiful Mr Mayor - I know what the problem is - well, it's really not so much a problem, it's just a fact that you need to know and come to terms with."

"Fine. Just tell me!"

"Oswald - sweetness - I think what you are is actually PANsexual."

"Pansexual?! What the hell is that?!"

"Well - Ozzy - I hope you don't mind me calling you that now - ah good, that is so lovely of you - you're so sweet. Anyway - Ozzy (giggle) - pansexual means that you love people for what's up here (she pointed to her temple) and in here (she took his hand and gently placed it on her upper chest - he gasped, feeling her fluttering heartbeat racing beneath his fingers) "and not down here" (she nodded discreetly down in the direction of her groin). "Do you know what I'm getting at now?"

"Erm - yes, yes, of course I do. I am not THAT slow, Miss Newlove! But…. I really can't believe it. I mean, I have felt a small measure of affection towards women before - when they have pleased me, done what I wanted them to do, you know - but nothing - serious. Nothing at all….physical. Then again, I've been pretty much the same way with men too. It was just Jim, first...and then, Edward…" he tailed off awkwardly.

"It's all right Oswald - I know Edward was your first - well, proper crush, for want of a better expression. I know I am with him, but I never really wanted him, my love, it was always you, and I really did it just so I could be near to you - you know that. I will make sure Edward isn't hurt - I will think of a way where we all three can live together happily. We can be - well, quite bohemian, if you excuse the phrase! I know you are quite old-fashioned about such things, and that's one of the things I love about you - but we can make this work, I promise you! Just leave it all up to me! And as to Jim - well, you and he have a history, don't you? He saved your life, and you've saved his! He was your first friend. You are bound to feel something for him. But as to your feelings for women - perhaps you just needed to meet the right woman, Oswald. Someone with sympathy and understanding for who and what you are. And I like to think I do understand you and sympathise with you - even empathise a little - and now, I think you might understand me too. At least - a little bit." He 'hmphed' and looked away.

She bit her lip, sighed and released his hand from her clutches. His hand fell limply to his side. It felt like a lead weight all of a sudden. He just didn't know what to say or what to do. It was a state of being he was completely unused to - he usually managed to take control of any situation in some shape or form, but this latest revelation had really blown his mind.

This was all too much to take in. His stomach started to churn and his heart to lurch. Then his head started to spin - very fast. His whole world was being turned upside down. Because deep down, in the very depths of his mind and soul - he knew she was, almost certainly, correct in her analysis. The woman he had always thought to be intellectually inferior to him and despised for taking Ed away from him had worked it all out before anyone else - himself and Ed included. He supposed it was what she would call 'woman's intuition'.

"Oswald - darling - you have gone so pale. Are you all right? Here, come and sit down for a while."

Isabella took him by the hand again and led him over to the sofa. He followed her blindly, limping along like a lost puppy, clueless as to what was happening or what was now going to happen to him. He sat down slowly, trying to take in the full extent of what she had just told him.

Because this could very well mean that he was one side of the most ludicrous of love triangles - the kind that he would never in his wildest dreams - or nightmares - have imagined!

"Oh, Ozzy! Your poor hand - it feels so cold and clammy!" Isabella exclaimed with concern as she sat down beside him on the sofa. "I have upset you with what I just said, haven't I?" She rubbed his hand gently, trying to warm it. "Can I get you a glass of water?"

"I am….perfectly fine…." were the last faltering words Oswald uttered before he fainted and fell, lifeless, at Isabella's feet.

"Ozzy, darling! Can you hear me? Ozzy - speak to me please!"

He awoke to find himself lying on the sofa with his feet raised - his head supported by a cushion - and Isabella kneeling beside him, rubbing his hand vigorously. His tie had been loosened and his collar undone.

"Errrr...what the?"

Then he remembered, with a sudden jolt, what had just happened. "Oh - no…God, no!" he thought. He broke out into a cold sweat.

"Oh - Oswald - thank goodness!" she sighed, placing her hand on his forehead. "I was so worried about you! I thought I had made you ill."

"I am fine!" he protested, batting her hand away, and tried to raise himself up - but he collapsed back down onto the sofa again as the room started to spin. "Holy crap!" he grouched, gasping in frustration.

"Oh, Oswald! Please, take it easy, you have had a shock. You need to rest for a minute."

"This is ridiculous…" Oswald tried to sit up again, with the same frustrating outcome.

"Ozzy, Ozzy, dear, please - just lie still. Here, drink this, my love." She helped him raise himself up a little, supporting his head, and lifted the glass to his lips. He began to sip reluctantly, and then started to take deep, greedy gulps. He hadn't realised how thirsty he was!

"There, there," she soothed, as he finished quaffing the cool reviving liquid and stopped to take a breath. "Did you have enough?"

He looked at her archly and nodded. She gently helped him lower his head again.

"You - you've been undressing me…." Oswald heard the faint note of panic in his enfeebled voice.

"Shhhh, don't worry. I just needed to help you breathe easier, that's all. Your clothing is - well, so restrictive, so tight, it was suffocating you! I haven't touched you inappropriately, Oswald. I would never do that to you. Especially not when you were helpless and unconscious. I would never do anything to violate you."

She began stroking his hair. She started to hum a comforting tune.

Oswald closed his eyes, unable to resist enjoying the gentleness of her touch and the sweet sounds coming from her mouth. His mother had used to do that to him, and sung to him like that, when he was a child….and no-one had ever done that for him since.

Now his eyes were closed, his sense of smell intensified - and he suddenly realised that her scent was not unlike his mother's too. He sighed deeply and let this all wash over him like a sea of tranquillity. He knew he would soon be at her tender mercies - and he really didn't care anymore.

"There, you see," she said softly, her fingers lightly caressing his cheek, his lips and his forehead. "You can trust me Oswald. You are in safe hands now. You can always trust me - my love."

Later….

Oswald lay in bed with his silk pyjamas buttoned right to the top. He clutched at the bed sheets tightly, pulling them up high around his neck.

Isabella sat on the edge of the bed, in her own satin night attire, having tucked him in and given him an affectionate little kiss on his forehead. He had decided to allow that.

"Ed had to go out of town. He made me promise to look after you."

"Well, you seem to be doing a good job of that so far!" Oswald couldn't help the note of sarcasm. And now he realised that he was alone with Isabella. Anything could happen!

"Now, now, Oswald darling. There is no need for that. You know I won't do anything to you that you don't want me to. But you do look a little cold. Do you want me to come in and give you a cuddle - warm you up a little?"

"No! No, stay where you are." Oswald pulled the sheets even tighter around his neck. "You have done quite enough for me today. You may go!" he smiled stiffly as if to say, "And that's final!"

"Oh - very well," she sighed, sounding deeply disappointed. "But please - Ozzy - do call me if you need anything!" She smiled, blew a kiss at him, patted the bedcovers and then got up to leave. "I'll be just next door, in the spare room."

The last thing Oswald wanted to have was a nightmare. But it came to him, horribly vivid, first the death of his mother, then his father, by dagger and poison respectively. He never usually dreamt about the both of them like this. They were there haunting him, taunting him, telling him that their deaths were all his fault, that he would go to hell for it.

He awoke screaming, sitting bolt upright in bed. He was shaking, sweating, gasping, and his heart was palpitating wildly. Then he started weeping - weeping with relief that it was a dream, but with sorrow that his parents really were dead, and the knowledge that he did still blame himself for their violent ends.

He hadn't thought to lock his door.

"Oswald - dearest!" Isabella rushed into the room, her huge eyes wide and brows furrowed with concern. "What's the matter?"

"I…...I….had a bad dream, that's all."

"A dream? It sounded like you were being murdered!" Isabella cried, her own eyes filling up with tears.

"I am all right," Oswald protested unconvincingly. He was still shaking and white in the face.

"No, you're not. You're trembling. And you're so pale! Oh, my poor boy!"

Isabella went to his side, despite his protestations. She sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, and he shrank back from her, but she reached out and took his hands in hers, and he didn't try to remove them from her grasp.

"That's it. It's alright dear. Let me hold you, Oswald. You will feel so much better! I promise - all I'll do is hold you, nothing more."

He sighed fatalistically. He nodded slowly, closing his eyes in surrender. He felt so very tired now - too tired to fight any more. He felt emotionally and physically exhausted!

Ed was absent. She was here. He needed someone, and she needed him. Maybe that wasn't such a very complicated equation after all.

She let go his hands and then wrapped her arms very carefully and gently around his back. Then she rubbed it comfortingly.

He tentatively slipped his arms around her waist - holding her very lightly and cautiously. Then she felt him sigh and his body slacken in her arms. "That's it," she whispered. She squeezed him just a little and he returned the gesture, holding her a little closer. He put his head on her shoulder.

She moved her hand to his head and began stroking his hair gently and rhythmically. Then she began rocking to and fro slowly. He gave a little grunt of contentment and his breathing calmed and deepened.

"That's it - just relax, my love. I will keep you safe from the monsters in your dreams. I will chase them all away…."