Learning to Trust

Chapter 3

Our Little Secret

Rowan's POV

My head was spinning and my heart was pounding. I was shocked beyond belief- Starscream, the brutal commander of the Decepticons, just offered to take a little worthless fleshling aboard the Nemesis. I couldn't fathom it. It was too much.

"Rowan?", Starscream asked. "Decepticon command to Rowan. Do you copy?"

"What?", I asked. "Sorry Starscream, could you repeat what you just said?"

"Rowan," Starscream said in a serious voice. "The only way I am leaving your dwelling is if you come with me."

"Why?" I asked in a dumbfounded whisper.

"Rowan," he said maintaining the same tone. "You were correct about your caretaker being like Megatron. I cannot stand anyone getting abused the way both of us have been. I wish to take you to the Nemesis where I can protect you."

"What if Megatron discovers me?" I asked.

"I shall deal with him," Starscream said. "So take my offer, or I suppose I'll just stay here and try to protect you at the risk of getting captured by Mech."

Starscream had a way with words alright. He knew I had a soft spot for him, and he also knew I'd put his well being before mine. As I looked as into his eyes as I could with my vision issues, I said, "I'll come with you."

"Now", starscream said. "Are there any very large things of importance that you would like to take with you?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Yes", I said. "I would like to take my bed so I have something to sleep on, but how are you going to..." My words were cut off as Starscream scanned my bed through the window and it disappeared. "Where did it go?", I asked.

"I have placed your birth into my subspace", Starscream said. "Now", he said. "Is there anything else you'd like?"

"My piano", I said almost too fast. It was an 88 key electric piano. It was my most prised possession, and luckily, it was also kept in my room. I told Starscream what it was, and he scanned it along with the stool that goes with it.

"Now", Starscream said. "Pack any smaller items you'd like, and don't rush. As far as I can make out, you have about 8 Earth hours before your caretaker will rise out of recharge."

Seeing as I had time, I did what I knew I could. I packed a bag full of some of my favorite evil looking clothes including, but not limited to, my two Decepticon tops, and my cat pajamas. I put on a slim long black dress with long sleeves, since I figured it would be cold aboard the Nemesis. I put this with high black boots, and a black belt.

Once I had everything ready, I said,"Starscream, there's just one more thing I have to do, and then I'll be outside. Be ready in your ALT mode ok?"

"Alright," he said.

I found my cat Button in the big chair in the living room. I sat down and just held her in my lap and petted her for a long time. As she purred and needed my lap with her claws, I knew there were at least two good things about this world: Button, and my best friend Kathie.

"I'm sorry", I whispered as I petted Button. "I know Nan loves you, and she will take care of you."

I got out my phone and sent two messages. The first one was a text to Nan.

"I love you. I'm alright. Take care of Button."

The second one was an audio message to Kathie over Skype.

"Hey dude. Please don't call me, but I need to tell you... Um... Things are happening. They are awesome and scary at the same time. I wish I could tell you so much more but I can't. Anyway, since I will probably never be able to speak to you again, there is something I just have to say. I wish you could have been more then just my friend. Maybe I would have stayed. Don't worry. I am still alive, and will be for some time. I just won't be able to talk to you again. However, just as a last goodbye from me, I love you and I always will. Well... Bye friend."

I hit the send button and let the tears spill from my eyes. I was sad to leave Button and Kathie behind, but very happy to leave everything else. My dad had never wanted me. My mom just flat left. Nan was stuck with me, and I knew I was more of a burden then a help to her. Kathey was the only person who had remotely cared about me, and when she had rejected my romantic advances, I was very heartbroken, but I still and will always hold her close to my heart. In fact, if I can, I will make sure she is protected by the Decepticons.

After I sent the messages, I took this time to catch my breath. So much had happened in the last 24 hours. Fanfic scenario 1138 had happened. I had met Starscream and he and I actually got along. Now I was actually going with him to the Decepticon warship Nemesis.

I checked the time, and Noticed it was midnight. I knew it was time for me to go. I gently placed Button down, and gave her one last kiss on the head. I went back to my room to get the bag I had packed. I looked at my room reflectively before shutting off the light and closing my door. When I got to the front door, I paused momentarily, and looked back, but I knew what I was doing. I remembered what Anakin's mother had said in Phantom Menace. "Don't look back." so I grit my teeth, closed the front door for the last time, and ran.

When I got to the back yard, Starscream was already in his ALT mode. I threw my bag in first, then climbed in. His seatbelt practically hugged me as he strapped me in. He closed his hatch and that's when it hit that this was all happening.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"You have no idea," I said.

As Starscream took off, I felt my heart fly as well. The moon kissed my eyes with it's gentle silver glow. I loved the night. I loved the darkness and the silence. I looked from the moon and the stars to the Earth below. We were flying so fast that the Earth was nothing but the brown of the desert rushing beneath it.

"Rowan", Starscream said. "It will take me some time to fly to the Nemesis. I think it would be best if you got some rest."

I tried to close my eyes and just let sleep overtake me, but one more question just burned in my mind.

"Starscream," I asked. "Why?"

"Why what?" Starscream asked, puzzled.

"Starscream, why did you insist I come with you?" I asked, getting a bit more comfortable.

"Rowan," he said. "I mean no offence by this, but I have taken pity on you. You have quite the hard life. From what you told me about yourself, that both your true creators had left you, and your sirel grandcarrier treats you so badly, you remind me of myself when I was a young seekerling. My sire hated me. I was the weakest of my tryne mates. Thundercracker and Skywarp were the prodigies, and I was the mess up. I was the delicate weekling. In fact, I was thought to be a fem until my voice changed. Yes: Starscream is actually a fem's name. I was nick-named Star even after I was found to be a mech. In fact, the reason I joined the Decepticons: the reason I still remain with them, is because what I just did for you, Megatron did for me. Back when he was Megatronus: when he still had his senses, he rescued me, and trained me to fight, and protected me. He took care of me. However, When his lust for power got to him, I grew detached from him. In fact, I think the only reason he keeps me around as his second in command is so I won't scrap him, which I COULD do by the way."

"So", I said. "What are your plans for me?"

"I shall do what prewar Megatron did for me", Starscream said. "I shall take you in, and protect you to the best of my abilities. I am hoping in our time together, we shall also strengthen the already forming bond between us. Does this seem pleasing to you?"

"Yes", I said. "But what use will a human be aboard the Nemesis, and what will Megatron do if he finds out?"

"Did I not just say I would protect you?", Starscream asked in exasperation. "As long as you are in my care Rowan, I shall insure you are cared for, even if it means my spark is extinguished."

"You would do that for me?", I asked.

"Rowan", Starscream said. "I have implied that I am very fond of you, but I do not believe you know the full extent of my fondness. I shall make it clear. If you were a cybertronian, I would court you in a sparkbeet."

"Well", I said nervously."Nothing says you can't. Just because I am a human doesn't mean we can't. Unless you think I am worthless as a human."

"If it were any other human", Starscream said. "I'd have turned my nose up and blasted you, but ever since you sang to me that first time, I have been enticed by you Rowan. You just remind me so much of myself. In fact, if you will have me, I wish to call you me courting endura, which I believe on your planet is called a boyfriend."

"I'd be honoured!" I said just wishing I could kiss him. Instead, I just kissed my hand. He heard what I did, and uttered a small chuckle.

"Get some rest my little endura", Starscream said tightening his seatbelt around me in sort of a small hug.

I put my headphones on, and put my music on shuffle, and the song Yellow started playing. As I fell asleep, one thought, a very happy thought, was in my head. "I'M DATING STARSCREAM!"

Starscream's POV

I could tell the moment my little human fell into recharge. It didn't hit as hard as I thought it would that I called her my courting endura. She was adorable, wonderful. and perfect for me.

You might expect that I would think her weak because she really didn't have much fight in her, which would consider her weak for a any other cybertronian Decepticon. In most cybertronian cultures, both genders were supposed to be strong, but that was not the case in seeker culture.

In seeker culture, the mechs were usually the protective mates, while the fems were usually the gentler, sweeter mates. The fem provided the softer side of a hardened seeker mech. In addition, seeker fems were usually always musical. There sweet quiet voices were meant to lure mates in the beginning stages of courtship. In later stages, a seeker fem's voice was used to send a new seekerling to recharge.

When I met Rowan, I saw everything in a seeker fem in her: disregarding the fact she was human. That didn't matter to me. She fit all the criteria for my perfect mate. She sang with the sweet gentle soprano voice that seeker fems were known for. She had the soft heart that could tame my hardened seeker mech nature. She was the human embodiment of a seeker fem. It didn't matter that she wasn't cybertronian, Rowan was beautiful in her own right: despite the fact that she was a fleshling.

Rowan was good looking. I do have to say that the only other human fem I have to compare her to is Bulkhead's little pet, and she is something else, and not the good kind. Rowan was completely different to that Miko fem. The weird fluff the humans seemed to have on their helms looked strangely pleasing on Rowan. Her's was a dark brown and had curls that fit perfectly around her helm coming just below her shoulder plating. She also had big round green optics, but they never seemed to be looking at me.

When I had asked her about this, she told me she was partially blind. While her right optic was completely blind, she had some vision in her left. She had no lower or side peripheral vision. Her distance vision was no good at all, which explained why she could not transport herself as people of her kind with normal vision did, thus she was lacking in independence. The next part of her explanation broke my spark. While she could see images and people clearly, she could not verify details. This meant that she could not read body language: relying mostly on tone of voice to verify the emotions of others. This also meant that she could not read her written language, called print normally, relying mostly on the use of this tactile thing called braille. She could also have used a larger form of this, "print", but her educational masters had practically forced her to use braille. Due to her lack of want to learn braille, and her lack of time to practice print, she was lackluster in both. I knew that since she could only see with one optic, she had no depth perception. In fact, since she had only one optic to see with, if she had had a lower, more monotone voice, and kept saying things were "Logical", I would have mistaken her for Shockwave. Unfortunately, the vision issue was not the only disability she had.

When I had first seen her, I thought her head was just moving to the song she was singing, but as we had talked that day, I noticed that the head movement, a motion of moving back and forth, did not stop. Trying not to be rude for once in my existence, I asked about it. She had said that the head movement was caused by a thing her kind called autism. That was the only way to explain it. She had said that most forms of autism caused some types of mental deficiencies, but they went unnoticed by me. She had gone to several doctors, but none could explain what actually caused these head movements, so the closest diagnosis they could come to was autism: Aspergers syndrome to be exact, since that particular disease was known to cause strange movements of the head or body. It was also because of this, she had experienced much ostracisation from her fellow human sparklings. This caused her much emotional torment, which was why she hated her own kind, and wanted to see a lot of them dead.

When I heard this, it made me want to destroy those who had harmed her, since I had been in a similar situation when I was a seekerling. It's the reason I am who I am today. It's the reason I can admire who Rowan is today. It all goes back to what I had thought to myself earlier. "She's just like me. She's perfect!" At this point, I was proud to call her my courting endura.

Now that I knew Rowan was in a sound recharge, and I knew I was getting closer to the Nemesis, I proceeded to quietly contact Knockout.

"Knockout," I snapped in a whisper.

"Starscream", he asked, sounding like I had just interrupted him from something... "interesting." "What are you doing out so late?", Knockout asked in curiosity. "You know Megatron's fragging furious about the mine. He doesn't even care about your absence. He refuses to send anyone on a rescue mission. Not to mention you just had to call me after an amazing interface."

"Hey." I heard Breakdown say.

"KEEP IT DOWN YOU TWO!" I said in a snapped whisper. "And thank you Knockout for the reminder of how worthless I am," I said with obvious sarcasm lacing my voice.

"Sorry", Knock out said. "Anyway, What's up Screamer?"

"And why do we have to be quiet?", Breakdown asked. "What? You finally got a fem to interface with ya? Ya need an emergency evac?"

Grumbling at the nickname, I said, "Actually I need you to do something kind of under the radar for me."

"Oh no", Knockout said with an exasperated sigh.

Rowan's POV.

The first thing to come out of sleep for me was my hearing. It had always been that way. I noticed something wrong. I didn't hear the Transformers RID episodes that usually played as I slept. That's when I decided to open my eyes. Then it all came back to me. I was not in my room. I was in a personal quarters aboard the Nemesis. I was in my bed, but I was on a large platform that had my bed, a make shipt night stand, my piano, a kind of little kitchen, and a door to what looked like a bathroom. I tried to move, but I felt something holding me down. When I looked down, I noticed a slim metal arm holding me. I followed the arm with my head to discover a human sized Starscream lying fast asleep beside me.

"Starscream?", I whispered in shock.

He onlined his optics and smiled."Good morning to you too, my courting endura", He said, a placidness to his voice and his face.

"How?" I asked a little dumbfounded.

He lifted his wrist to reveal a watch looking thing. "This is a mass shifter. It can change the size of any mech or anything. It also has the power to duplicate things, and change the size of those duplications. While you were recharging I made you this little home here in my corters, where you'll be hidden from view until I can find the proper way to reveal you to Lord Megatron. Is this pleasing to you?"

"Oh yes", I said. "I hope you can keep that mass shifter."

"Why?", Starscream asked.

"Because," I said, a cute smile on my face. "I want someone to keep this birth warm with me."

"That can be arranged", Starscream said with a chuckle and a hint of seduction in his voice.

I took this opportunity, and I did what I wanted to do ever since I laid eyes on Starscream when I first saw him in the cartoon, I leaned in for a kiss. He returned the gesture, and our lips clashed in a mix of flesh and metal. I closed my eyes, and just enjoyed the kiss. When I pulled away and opened my eyes, Starscream had a contented smile on his faceplate. "You know," he said. "For a human, You are one pit of a kisser. I am so glad you are my first.

It took a second, but when I took in what Starscream said, I couldn't believe what I had heard. "Starscream?", I asked. "How have you never been kissed before? You are one of the most attractive mechs out there. How has everyone not fawned over you?"

"That comes with being hated by my sire and being thought of as a weak fem just because my voice took 15 Decacycles longer to change than my tryne brothers," Starscream said, an inch of sadness clear in his voice. "It is because of what I've been through that I grue cold to the world. Megatron is responsible for my outside personality. He is the reason I appear cold and unfeeling to any other Decepticons and the autobots."

"But on the inside you're lonely", I said quietly, the sadness clear in my voice. Starscream nodded. "Oh Starscream", I said turning my head away. "I'm so sorry."

Starscream spun me around and held me close to his spark. "My little human", he said gently. "This is not your burden to bear. I have always wished for another spark, but I never showed that side to anyone because I never wanted to. That is, until you came along."

Starscream placed another kiss to my lips. It was so sensational. I wanted it to last forever and possibly escalate to something more, but...

"STARSCREAM!", Megatron said through Starscream's com link, which we could both hear. "I require you for a mission. Report to the main bridge. IMMEDIATELY!", Megatron barked.

"Well", Starscream said, releasing his hold on me and sitting up. If you need anything, Soundwave and I linked your celular com device to the com links of myself, Knockout, Breakdown, and Soundwave."

"Wait", I said. "Soundwave knows about me?"

"Yes", Starscream confessed. "Soundwave was on the upper hull when I landed with you. I told him to keep the secret and help me, and surprisingly, he agreed. I doubt he will keep our silence though, so Megatron will most likely know about you by now. Do not feel my love. I said I'd protect you and I shall. Now, I must be going."

Starscream placed a small gentle kiss on me before standing, stepping down from the platform, and taking off the mass shifter, changing back to his full height.

"I shall return my little endura", Starscream said before giving me a smile before leaving his corters.

AN: This is earlier than I expected, but I had a stroke of writing genius. Anyway, I first want to tell you all my favorite parts of each chapter just because.

Chapter 1. I loved last thoughts I (Clears throat.) I mean Rowan has before going back in my (Clears throat again.) I mean her house.

Chapter 2. I think Starscream and Rowan locking eye to optic for the first time was the best. (Side note: When you hear Rowan sing, picture her sounding a lot like Christine from phantom of the opera.)

Chapter 3. I think my favorite part of chapter 3 was Starscream revealing himself to be a relatable character, which I think kinda explains why he is the way he is. I at least think its a cool character direction. If I lose followers because of this, I am so sorry you don't like this. Oh. I also enjoyed the Starscream X Rowan Kisses in this chapter too.

And now for some more fun stuff: I am trying to reference something I am a fan of in each of my chapters.

Chapter 1. Invader Zim.

Chapter 2. had my very angry grandma quoting some lines of megatron in TFP, and... oh right... the (Sarcasm in voice.) NOT OBVIOUS references to Steven Universe and Star VS the forces of evil, two shows I like and I personally think Starscream would enjoy. Heck, The name of this chapter was the name of the latest Steven Universe song.

Chapter 3. (THAT IS FOR ME TO KNOW, AND YOU TO GUESS IN THE REVIEWS!

ALSO... (Cough cough. Shameless plug. Cough Cough.) My YouTube name is Starscream Butterfly, and my profile pic is Starscream dressed as Star Butterfly from Star VS The Forces Of Evil. Go check out my channel. I think you'll like it.

(Breathes in heavily.) I think that's everything I wanted to say. so as a good buy, I shall recite the Decepticon mado at the end of each chapter starting now so that way, this chapter has Lord Megatron's blessing. SOOOOOO...

"If speaking the truth is deception, then we are gladly guilty."

May Primus, Unicron, and Megatron add their blessings upon this chapter of Learning to Trust.