Okay, well, I'm not too sure how to start this because I've never done anything like this before. My psychologist said it'd help though so, here goes nothing I guess.

My name's Raoul. I'm a pig.

This is ridiculous. Of course I'm a pig. Why would I write that down? Who's going to read this and not know I'm a pig? Me? My psychologist? She knows I'm a pig. I wonder if I should just delete this and start over. Eh, whatever, maybe it's part of the process?

I'm supposed to write about the incident. To be honest I don't think it's really that big of a deal. I mean, I tell myself that, but I did kind of freak out about it. I freak out about a lot of things, which is why I'm going to a psychologist. I don't think it's too unreasonable to be stressed out in Zootopia. It's not really that great of a place to be when you think about it. So many loud, noisy animals everywhere. No one is polite.

Speaking of, recently every time I make any sort of a scene I've been called "frantic". What's up with that!? "Hey, it's the frantic pig!" "Why do you have to be so frantic, buddy?" "You'd get a lot more done if you weren't so frantic all the time!" Did I miss a news report or something? Who decided to label me with that!? I can just see the headline now:

"FRANTIC PIG CAUSES SCENE AT SUBWAY STATION OVER SPILLED SMOOTHIE"

Okay, I'll admit it. I WAS being a little piglet that day. In my defense, it was hot out, that smoothie was my lunch, and money doesn't grow on trees, am I wrong? I can't help being a little high strung. We're all trying to make a living here, though sometimes I think I might be better making it somewhere else.

Ah right, the incident. That was the morning that one rhino's car with no muffler went by. That scared me half to death. There's laws against noise pollution, you know. I wish that cop had come earlier and slapped him with a violation. Who can afford to drive a CAR in Zootopia, anyway!? Only filthy rich, corrupt business mammals and crime lords, that's who. The day following the incident my sister was supposed to get her license renewed. I wonder how that went? I'd probably lose my mind trying to stand there in the DMV. I've heard horror stories that every employee there is a sloth. Surely that has to be a joke, right?

Nah, public transportation is definitely the way to go in Zootopia, if you want my opinion. Though that's not without its problems either. The subway station is often really crowded, and you get pressed in by animals of all types, some that have claws or sharp hooves. And some of them really, really stink. Like, not that they're bad people, though I'm sure some of them are, but that they SMELL. Pigs have pretty sensitive noses, you know? That reminds me. Who started the rumor that pigs are dirty, anyway? Does anyone think we'd LIKE to go all day smelling like muck when we have to spend all day smelling it?

I'm GREAT at keeping myself clean. I use imported soaps. I probably shouldn't. That's expensive. Though I DO have to be clean for my work, anyway.

My work, right, the incident. Well, I guess I should put what I do here in case this gets leaked onto the internet or something. I run a small flower shop called Flora & Fauna. I love flowers. You want to know why? Because they're PREDICTABLE. Flowers never surprise you. I mean yeah, some flowers are dangerous, but if you eat a flower and get sick and die, that's your own fault. The knowledge is there for you to read. A flower's never going to stab you, or rob you. Right?

Speaking of robbery, that's just what happened to me. Can you believe it? Who robs a FLOWER STORE!? Part of why I wanted to work as a florist is to AVOID all of this crazy nonsense! I just want to keep to myself and I don't want to cause anyone trouble. I've always just wanted to keep my head down and avoid notice. High school was pretty rough for me. Anyway, there was this weasel shoveling handfuls of midnicampum holicithias into a duffel bag and I about had a panic attack. The price of those had gone way up recently, probably because they are a class C or something.

All at once, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. That weasel was making off with my profit margins, my job, my VERY LIFE! I'd be homeless before long! I can't be homeless! I can't stand the thought of begging!

Okay, maybe I panicked a little hard. I rushed out of my shop and saw this bunny cop in a little cart. She was SLEEPING while that criminal made off with MY goods! I shook her cart frantically -ugh, I can't even stand to WRITE that word- I shook her cart FORCEFULLY and yelled at her. In retrospect, not the smartest thing to do, but I wasn't thinking straight. I asked her something like "why weren't you doing your job?" oh no, it was like "are you a real cop or not?"

That sounds kinda bad. To be fair to me, I didn't actually know. She kind of looked like a meter maid. I'd never seen a bunny cop before and haven't since. In any case, I guess she actually was a cop, because eventually they got those flower bulbs back to me. And wouldn't you know it? Not a week or two later, I sold out of all of them! Don't remember the guy's name, but he was a ram, I think. All of those rams look the same to me, no offense to them. I think we pigs just have more distinguishing features. My sister has this shock of blonde hair, I think it's kind of striking actually. I don't mind being bald though, who would? Most animals don't have hair.

I think I forgot my point. Anyway, I think this has maybe helped a little? I wish I had enough money to move out of Zootopia at times. Being robbed was super stressful for me. I hear NOTHING interesting ever happens in Bunnyburrow. Maybe I'd like to live there. Surely they've got to have a demand for florists there. Bunnies just love flowers, from what I'm told.

My battery's already just about dead on my laptop. I swear, if our technology is so advanced, why can't they make one of these things that lasts a whole workday? We can put a bunny on the moon, but we can't make a battery that doesn't give up the ghost after a few hours of work? Okay, I really should probably save this before I lose everything.