Chapter 132: Moving Forward
"And just what do you think you are doing, young man?"
Alim gave Wynne a sheepish grin. He was currently sitting on the bed in his room, his legs hanging over the side; he had just managed to slip on a shirt without feeling intense stinging pain from his wounded ear.
He…called that progress.
"I'm trying a bolstering spell," he informed her, ""Since I've managed to sit up without getting dizzy or the desire to throw up, I would call that a victory, wouldn't you?"
The old mage glared at him, she crossed her arms across her chest. Alim did his best to endure "the look" she was giving him, that disapproving mother's look.
Wynne shook her head.
"You are not fully recovered yet," she said.
His elven ears twitched.
"I'm recovered enough."
"Not yet," she repeated, "Another day at the earliest, three more days at the latest."
He gave her a cold look.
"Wynne, I can't stay here any longer, not with the Landsmeet so close, we need to get going, before Loghain has a chance to come up with some new way to block us."
Wynne continued to glare at him. In response, Alim called on healing magic, it did wonders for the aches he still possessed, but it also left him a little winded.
He tried not to let it show.
"I'll be fine, he told her," not trying to stand up, at least not yet.
She continued to give him "the look."
He sighed in frustration.
"I will be fine," he repeated.
The old mage responded with a shake of her head and a heavy sigh.
"Anyone with healing skills," she said morosely, "Are the worst possible patients."
The old woman pursed her lips.
"You never know when to stay down."
Alim chuckled at that.
"That is funny coming from a dead woman who is only still around because a spirit of faith stepped up to help her keep going."
In spite of herself, Wynne was actually amused by that.
A hint of a smile teased her lips, not much, but enough.
She shook her head in surrender.
"I suppose the least I can do is help you on your feet if you insist on this foolishness."
She made her way over to the bed, and kneeled down slightly; Alim put his hand on her shoulder and used it to left him up. The elf groaned and staggered a bit, but he managed to remain upright.
He gave Wynne a grateful look.
"Thanks," he murmured.
"Don't mention it," the elder mage said morosely, "I would rather you have taken my advice and rested for another day at least."
Her eyes narrowed slightly.
"May I ask what is behind this sudden desire to jump back into the fight?"
He gave her a cheeky smile.
"It is Leliana," he said, "She is a rather…physical girl as you know."
The elf's smirk widened.
"I'm trying to get back into top shape for her, you can understand that can't you?"
Wynne smirked, recognizing his attempt to divert her question by shocking her.
He would be disappointed.
I understand warden," she said, "I remember when I was your age. There was this rather handsome Templar; he was a rather physical sort to. We managed to find a nice private study room off the main library. Oh I still remember the night he bent me over and…"
"WYNNE!" Alim gasped.
"Yes warden," she said innocently.
"No," Alim said looking a little ill, "No…just…just…Andraste's flaming pyre…just no!"
The elder mage chuckled.
"I wasn't always this old you know," she reminded him.
"I know," he said shaking his head, "Just NO."
Wynne's smile widened.
"Now that we are no longer trying to make each other uncomfortable, how about we try something more fitting…like the truth."
Alim licked his lips, testing his feet but was careful should the world start to spin and he end up back on the floor again. When he did not he took a deep breath and nodded slightly, though his expression remained grim, his eyes slightly haunted.
"I could have died," he said.
"You have faced death before," Wynne reminded him.
"In battle, yeah, but I was never caught in a situation so beyond my control. Had Loghain decided, he could have taken me out into the Fort Drakon courtyard, and had my head cut from my neck."
The elf sighed.
"It made me think. It was only providence that saved my ass," he said, "Carver, Leliana, Morrigan, they might never have gotten the chance to come am rescue me."
Alim's elven ears lowered slightly.
"Knowing how close I came to death, that made me realize how much I have missed, how much I have put off. I don't think we have the time to play it safe anymore. I can feel it. We're running out of time."
Wynne looked down on the bed; there was a small piece of parchment laying there. Alim's pack lay open next to bed, an old flute sat on the nightstand.
She could just make out Alim's name written in long sloping handwriting, on the piece of parchment, it was clearly a letter of some sort.
The old mage looked at the elf. He glanced down and sighed.
"It was from my mother," he said with a hint of melancholy. She wrote it, just before she died, she had hoped that one day I would return to Lothering and find it."
Alim shook his head.
"I never read it until today, just another thing that I almost did not get the chance to do."
Wynne's eyes turned compassionate.
"You seem…troubled," she said.
Alim sighed heavily.
"Disappointed," he corrected her, "she spent the rest of her life blaming herself for letting the Templars take me. She could not have stopped them even if she had wanted to, but that does not mean that she did not feel responsible."
He sighed heavily.
"She hoped that I would find some kind of happiness with my life in the Circle. She had hoped that what she had done was the right thing, and that one day I would forgive her for letting me go."
Wynne placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Do you," she asked.
"Do I what?"
"Forgive her?"
Alim's brown eyes widened.
"There is nothing to forgive, there never was. She could not have taken care of me, not with my magic growing and… and everything else."
He shook his head.
"I…I did not want to face this. All she knew of me was the angry child the Templars took away from so long ago. I never blamed her. How could I have? She did the best she could.
Alim's hands clenched into fists.
"She died afraid that I hated her, and there is nothing I can do to change that. If we stop this, if we end this nightmare before it spreads, the darkspawn, the civil war, Loghain, and the Archdemon, maybe that will be enough."
The elf lowered his head.
"Maybe then…I can believe that she would have forgiven me, for everything that happened."
Wynne looked at him, with a sad smile.
"Oh, child," she said, "You cannot blame yourself for such things."
Alim shook his head.
"Maybe," he said, "But I will never know, will I?"
She winced.
"No, you won't."
"Shit," Alim spat, "I hate regret."
She managed a weak smile.
"As do we all child," she said.
"As do we all."
He looked at her with pain in his eyes.
"What about you," he asked.
"Me?"
"Anything you wish you could change? Anything you wish could be different?"
Wynne sighed.
"A few things," admitted, "Some made even more grave, because they had consequences for other people."
Alim's eyes widened slightly.
"Sounds like a bit of story there," he said.
Wynne nodded.
"I suppose it is," she said.
"Care to share?"
Wynne sighed.
"It was a long time ago," she said, "I had an apprentice back then, my first…his name…was Aneirin."
IOI
Swords clashed in the banquet hall of Arl Eamon's estate, great sword met long sword and shield, as the two warriors jockeyed for position.
The Arl had thought it unwise that Alistair leave the estate, so close to the Landsmeet. Everything they were working towards depended on the heir to the throne remaining healthy until the appointed time arrived.
That did not mean that Alistair was content with the arrangement, in fact, he was downright annoyed by it. He had turned to sword practice to try and keep that annoyance from bubbling over. It had worked for the most part.
The former Templar shook his head.
At least he dealt with his urge to hit someone.
Until recently, Fergus had been his main sparring partner, but since the noble had discovered…well…the joys of locking himself away with Kally, the former Templar had been left in the cold. He had tried with Theron, but it was not the same thing. Seri took her training far too seriously, and Sten suggested that he would hurt Alistair if they spared, accidently of course.
Fortunately, Alim had brought him a new sparring partner when he escaped Fort Drakon. Carver Hawke was more than eager to take up the sword and help Alistair work out his frustrations.
It also gave them a chance to talk.
Alistair was still not sure what to make of the young warrior's story. He did not doubt it, but that did not mean that he was still not wary. As for Carver, he likely felt as trapped as Alistair felt, now that he had found the wardens, it was unlikely that he would be able to leave their side, at least until he was freed from Flemeth's spell.
Being trapped like that, it clearly enraged the young warrior, that may have caused him to be a bit harder on Alistair during their sparring by the warden did not mind.
He understood being trapped in a place you did not want to be, he understood that better than most.
Carver rained down blows with his great sword forcing Alistair to back pedal. As Carver paused to take a breath, the former Templar struck back, pushing the warrior back with several well placed strikes of his own.
Carver snarled and regained his footing, he and Alistair ended up circling each other, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.
Carver's blue eyes narrowed in concentration.
"I don't get it," he grumbled.
Alistair snorted in amusement.
"What is to get," he said dryly, "You swing your sword at me. I swing my sword at you, and that is how we spar.
Carver gave him an annoyed look.
"Not that," he said, "This…this…whatever it is with the elf. I don't get it."
The young warrior's words made Alistair pause.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Carver sighed.
"Eight months ago I rejoined the Ferelden army. It wasn't hard. Loghain was looking for everyone who could swing a sword to help him with the rebellion."
Carver shook his head.
"I'm not proud of everything I did during that time, but, it was not like I had a choice. The witch made it clear, if I tried to leave, she would let me return to the death that she saved me from."
Alistair shook his head.
"Morrigan will find a way to help you, trust me."
Carver's eyes narrowed.
"You will excuse me if I don't share your confidence in that…that girl's abilities."
Alistair felt a brief prickle of anger.
Carver did not know Morrigan; he did not know what she was capable of.
She might have ended…whatever it was they had shared, but Alistair could not shake at least a small sense of fondness for the witch.
She was the first woman he had ever slept with, that was not something a man forgets. It was likely he would always carry at least a small sense of affection for her.
No matter how much he tried to deny it.
Carver's brow furrowed.
"All we heard in that time from the officers and anyone else who knew what was going on was about the warden elf. "
Carver shook his head.
"The warden elf did this, or the warden elf did that. The stories just kept getting bigger and more outlandish. By the time I was assigned to Fort Drakon, I figured the warden would have been able to escape on his own, given all the stories."
Carver shook his head.
"When I saw him in that cell, this short…broken elf, all I could think of was: This is it? This is the all-powerful warden that I might never see my family again for? This is who I'm expected to give my life up for?"
He sighed.
"I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm glad that you all took me in, but…how can…how can someone like him be the threat that Loghain believes he is? How?"
Alistair gave Carver an arched look, if he thought he was insulting Alistair by making his opinion of Alim known he was gravely mistaken.
Alistair chuckled in response.
Carver frowned, not sure what to make of all this.
Alistair grinned.
"You know…I thought the same thing the first time I saw Lim, back before the Battle of Ostagar. Here he was this snarky, too short elf with two big ears. I knew to be wary of his magic, but part of me wondered if Alim would survive the joining, much less the first engagement.
Alistair's expression turned fond then.
Since then, I've seen my fellow warden's quality many times. I've seen him call down thunderstorms and purge darkspawn from an entire village. I've seen him negotiate with dwarven kings. I've seen him face dragons, werewolves, and demons."
Alistair shook his head.
"You think the tales you have heard were embellished, probably they were, but only to make the enemy seem more mortal than Lim. In this case Carver, a small man can cast a very long shadow, a shadow that covers everything, that is Alim."
Alistair sighed.
"That is why I believe that he was not only the best choice to lead us, but was meant to. He was born to be warden commander."
Alistair smiled.
"I would die for Lim, any of us would. Perhaps you will find out why one day."
Carver shifted where he stood not sure what to make of all this.
"What about Sister Leliana?" he asked.
Alistair's brow furrowed.
"What about her?"
Carver blushed slightly.
"Back in Lothering, half the young men in the village were…intrigued by her, but she would not give any of us the time of day."
Alistair laughed.
"Don't tell me you had a crush on Leliana?"
Carver's blush darkened.
"It…it was not like that! I…half the boys in Lothering were…I mean we…I…shit."
Alistair said nothing; he had no desire to make the young man more embarrassed than he already was.
It was funny, he and Lim were not much older than Carver, but after everything they had faced…
Well…Carver would learn soon enough.
First the Landsmeet, then it would be time to deal with the Blight.
Whoever was in charge then, if they won they would be leading the charge, if they lost…well…
Alistair frowned.
If they lost, they might all find themselves becoming more intimate with the cells of Fort Drakon.
"Morning boys."
Both Carver and Alistair jumped.
Leliana was standing there, an amused smile on her face.
Alistair paled.
Oh Maker!
Had she heard what they were talking about?
Carver looked away, still blushing furiously.
Leliana chose to say nothing.
"Alim is awake, and up and about." She said.
"He wants us to meet in the Arl's study."
Alistair straightened all business after the amusement of a few moments earlier.
"Does Lim have a plan?" he asked.
"He didn't say," she said, "But he says it is time that we all gathered."
Her expression turned hard.
"He said it is time to end this."