Chapter 2

Stacie regretted her decision. She thought she had enough justifications and practical points to support attending the bachelorette party. She would get to see the Bellas again. She could get closure and let the past be the past, but the moment she saw Aubrey, it returned. The crackle and spark between them, the yearning in the pit of her stomach, and it infuriated her because it was clear Aubrey felt it too. Stacie kept her distance the entire night. Chloe planned the bachelorette party in Atlanta and the Bellas took a stroll down memory lane as they went to their favorite karaoke bar and clubs. The first part of the night was simple for Stacie. Beca, Emily, and Cynthia Rose did a great job of keeping her distracted, but that was before more alcohol got involved. Stacie was surprised by how much Aubrey was drinking and even more surprised when Aubrey jumped at the chance to take a body shot off of Stacie. It was an item on the scavenger hunt that Chloe made them do, but everyone was surprised when Aubrey opted to take the shot off of the leggy brunette.

"Come on gorgeous, you know I have to win and I am only like one or something ahead of Amy," giggled Aubrey and Stacie glanced at Cynthia Rose for help.

"I'll be your huckleberry," said Cynthia Rose and Aubrey gave her a wink.

"I already took a photo with you in a sex shop and I can only ask two friends for help. You're number one and Stacie is number two. Those are the rules," said Aubrey as she gave Stacie a pout. Stacie sighed but nodded.

"Fine, but make it quick," she said as she hopped onto the bar and people around them cheered. Aubrey leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"You know we were never quick," teased Aubrey and Stacie gulped. She focused on trying to solve the Riemann Hypothesis in her mind, sifting through prime numbers for plausible distribution, but it didn't stop the whimper from escaping her lips when Aubrey's tongue licked the salt from her stomach and lingered a second longer than necessary before downing her shot. Many of the Bellas were surprised when Aubrey took the lime from Stacie's mouth slowly, letting her lips brush over Stacie's sensually. The crowd cheered and Aubrey gave a bow, but Beca sighed when Stacie got up from the bar and headed for the exit.

"Stace," called Beca.

"I'm done," said Stacie over her shoulder. Beca wanted to follow her, but Cynthia Rose shook her head.

"I will keep an eye on her. You go help Chloe get Aubrey back to the hotel. I am sure it won't be easy with the amount she's had tonight," said Cynthia Rose and Beca begrudgingly nodded.

The next morning, Stacie sighed in relief when she got the notification on her phone that the jet was ready for takeoff. She was still in her hotel room packing up and picked up the pace now that the earlier departure had been cleared. She refused to read the text messages and apologies from Beca, promising herself to be mad at her best friend a few hours more before acknowledging she wasn't to blame. She groaned when there was a knock on her door, but still went over to answer it.

"I am not in the mood to talk, Beca, so…" She stopped midsentence when she saw Aubrey standing there looking haggard and clutching a cup of coffee.

"Hey," said Aubrey and Stacie gulped.

"What are you doing here? I thought you would be hugging a toilet bowl right now." Aubrey sighed as she walked in.

"Ironically, I don't really vomit when I am hungover, only when I get anxious. Can we talk?" Stacie shrugged as she closed the door.

"Not really much to talk about, Aubrey."

"I wanted to apologize for last night. It was inappropriate and I am so sorry I put you in that situation."

"Why were you drinking so much in the first place?"

"It was a bachelorette party. I was trying to enjoy myself."

"Don't try to bullshit me, Posen. I know you and I am really tired of you acting like I don't!" Aubrey clenched her jaw in frustration.

"You obviously have an answer in mind so why don't you tell me what you think I should say," said Aubrey as she crossed her arms.

"You were drinking like you wanted to forget, not like you were celebrating. I've celebrated plenty with you and that wasn't it."

"Look, I just came to say I am sorry for the body shot. It shouldn't have happened and it won't happen again. See you at lunch," said Aubrey as she turned to leave, but she stopped when Stacie laughed bitterly.

"You really think I am sticking around? You are the most selfish person I have ever met in my life," shouted Stacie and Aubrey glared at her.

"I didn't ask you to come here, Stacie. When Beca told me you were coming, I figured it meant you were okay, that we could just be friends again."

"First off, you asked Beca to invite me. Second, friends don't suck on each other's stomachs and try to kiss them with limes in their mouths! Third, you don't get to act like anything between us has been friendly. I am leaving in an hour so I think this needs to be it for us."

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying we aren't friends! We are exes and it is so damn unfair of you to ask me to be at your wedding or support your marriage to this clown."

"You don't even know him! He is a good man!"

"I know you don't love him!"

"God I forgot how arrogant you can be. You know nothing about my relationship with him."

"I know you! I know the woman you try to be and the one you really are. I know you, Aubrey, and that's why you are pissed right now. We both know last night wasn't just about the alcohol. That is why I am furious because I could deal with that. I can deal with harmless flirting and teasing, but I can't deal with you using me whenever you want to forget that you will spend the rest of your life in a loveless marriage," said Stacie before heading back toward the bedroom to finish packing.

"Oh no, you don't get to end with that bullshit! You really think you can say something like that to me and that's it?"

"The truth hurts and you have yet to deny it. You know what you haven't said, Bree? That you love him."

"It isn't a fucking fairy tale, Stacie! This is my life! Not everyone gets the perfect parents and family that embrace them. Not all of us have private jets and mansions and places to vacation. Some of us are working just to stay above water, just to not be swallowed up whole by life on a regular fucking basis!"

"You don't have to marry this guy!"

"I can't be gay," screamed Aubrey and Stacie was stunned speechless as Aubrey continued with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You don't get it, Stace. You really think I want this? You think I want to look at you and want nothing more than to make love to you? You think I enjoy having to hold back from touching you every time I see you? Better yet, you think I like feeling guilty every time you creep into my mind when I am in bed with him? He is a good man. He is kind and caring and he loves me and my father has never been so happy. He is so excited about the wedding and for the first time in years I finally feel like he is proud of me. Not all of us have what you do. I have one parent left. He is imperfect and homophobic and his love is conditional, but that's all I've got. That's it. No mother or siblings and I am finally at peace with that."

"Then why even ask me to come," questioned Stacie and Aubrey shrugged as she cried.

"Because I miss you. It was never just sex with us, Stace. I miss our talks and your jokes, especially the nerdy ones I don't even really understand. I miss being able to call you whenever my day is shitty. I miss our movie nights and inside jokes and late night dinners. I miss cruising around and singing at the top of our lungs. I miss you," she confessed.

"You don't think I miss you too? I am heartbroken over you, Aubrey. It kills me knowing you are going to walk down the aisle to someone who you don't even love…to someone who isn't me. But I can't keep doing this to myself. We aren't friends."

"You're right. You are the only person I have ever completely given myself to though," admitted Aubrey and Stacie nodded.

"Me too, but that is over now. We both have to move on. I can't be at your wedding. Have a good life, Posen," said Stacie as she turned her back on Aubrey and tried not to sob. Aubrey wanted to walk over to her, to embrace her, to tell her how much she loved her, but she didn't. She took Stacie's words to heart and Chloe's as well. If she couldn't be what she needed, she had to let her go. The moment the door shut, Stacie broke down in tears, allowing herself to mourn for what she would never have with the love of her life.