XIII. PROGRESS (ALTERNATE MERLIN/ARTHUR POV)
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"This is what Valiant did! How can we trust this book of tricks?"
There is fire in Arthur's eyes - an anger at Valiant's deeds that Merlin doesn't wish to see grow blinding. Gaius gives Merlin a look, and Merlin understands that Gaius wants to be the one explaining - to protect him, surely. Merlin signals 'no'; but Gaius is speaking anyway before Merlin has even opened his mouth.
"Sire, Valiant's actions were definitely condemnable indeed; but the book is not to blame. It simply explains how to animate figures - it doesn't tell *why* the spell should be used; that intent is entirely the responsability of the one using the spell. So yes, Valiant used such a spell to kill; but such a spell can be used to save or help too; can be useful and good."
Arthur doesn't seem convinced at all, judging by the growling tone in his voice:
"How could such a spell ever be used for good?"
Let's say you need to animate snakes out of a shield at your will to confound an evil man and save a noble one; Merlin thinks but does not say, pleading Gaius to let him deal further with Arthur's ire. Merlin has often pondered of course, even if with little success, about the best way to explain it all to Arthur. But he realizes, suddenly, that using Arthur's own words and opinions might be the most helpful in that regard.
"Remember what you told me, Sire; about Will? So. Having magic is *not* having a weapon. It's simply having *a tool*. You can use an axe to build a shelter or to break down a door - and even then, you might only be breaking that door to save blocked-in people from fire. You can use a shovel to plant an apple tree or to dig a grave - and even then, it might be out of respect and love, in another culture. The axe or the shovel have nothing to say about why they are used for. In the end, maybe, the only thing magic actually reveals is what's truly in one's heart."
This approach works better, apparently. Palpable facts he experienced himself weigh more than rethorical theories in Arthur's thoughts process. Arthur tilts his head, actually considering now, instead of refusing it all at once.
"So. This spell? Let's say you badly injure yourself while alone and away, and you conjure a horse to carry you back home quickly enough to be saved? Let's say a child is crying and you create a butterfly or something, to bring up a smile?"
"A butterfly, Merlin?"
Arthur looks incredulous but sounds, if anything, teasing - which Merlin interprets as a sign of progress, a smile growing on his face. He only shrugs though, playing along.
"What's wrong with a butterfly?"
"Nothing, I guess, indeed. Let's go on then."
They read further for about an hour, Gaius preparing potions behind them. Arthur never shouts out again, but expectantly looks at Merlin on the few occasions he apparently feels like he might maybe be missing the whole picture. And Merlin just goes with it; the surprised yet somehow satisfied glow in Arthur's eyes each time in some way worth the risk of possibly divulging too much...
Until dinner time comes, and Merlin has to go. He takes his leave, telling Arthur he should read on. Arthur's answer leaves him breathless.
"I'd probably see things only one way on my own; who knows what I'll miss... I'd rather bring the book to my chambers while you eat, and you can read further later. Besides, I should work on my water, you know... Be ready for it, in case you find something."
Merlin can only nod, speechless from Arthur's obvious trust.
As he opens the door, Arthur surprises him yet again, talking to his back: "And just so you know, I wouldn't put you in the stocks for sleeping in my bed while you're, well, me. What would the guards think if they saw me sleeping on the ground?"
The tone is more gentle than gloating, and Merlin feels warmed up as he realizes Arthur is being simply honest. It doesn't change his view on the matter though.
"I told you, Sire; I do not find your bed comfortable to start with."
He doesn't dare to look at Arthur as he walks out.
/
Gaius has proposed to bring the book to his chambers. He said he had to bring Morgana her sleeping draught anyway; but Arthur couldn't help but sense that there was more to it - maybe he'd rather not have 'Merlin' seen with such a book, maybe Geoffrey has made him sworn an oath to never let it out of his sight... Anyway, Arthur doesn't have it in his heart to deny Gaius the demand.
Once alone, Arthur sits again in front of his two bowls. He closes his eyes, reaching *inside*.
It's a tool. He tells himself when he senses the flow. Not a weapon.
There had been something in the way Merlin had talked. It had sometimes felt more like mentioning actual events than thinking aloud (Had Will ever performed any of the spells they read about?); especially - even though surprisingly - about...
It's harmless. Merlin says it can be used to make butterflies.
Arthur takes a deep breath; focuses - visualizing in his head what he wishes to achieve.
When Arthur opens his eyes, the water has switched bowl.
Arthur blinks.
Then a loud "Yes" echoes in the room.
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Arthur makes several times the water switch from bowl; then the books on the shelves from order (size, alphabetical, themes (as it was originally)) - he doesn't dare mess with Gaius's ingredients though, of course. At some point, he eyes the chamberpot and tests it too, like Merlin had mentioned they could once Arthur would have gotten how to. And indeed, it works too! Arthur can't help but feel proud, trying to imagine the look on Merlin's face come morning...
Then Arthur realizes maybe they do not have to be under the spell to start with any longer! What if he can just wish it away? Sadly, though, it doesn't work; no matter how much nor how hard Arthur tries. Feeling a bit defeated now, even though he knows he definitely booked progress, Arthur decides he should go to sleep. With any luck, he might need all his energy tomorrow, if tonight turns out to be as fortunate for Merlin as it has been to him...
Gaius hasn't come back yet - he probably stayed with Merlin to study the book; after all, as Court Physician, no one would question how long he stayed by his injured Prince... Arthur opens the door to Merlin's bedroom - he doesn't intend to keep Gaius out of his own bed tonight too...
/
As soon as possible, Merlin excuses himself from Uther's and Morgana's company to get to his book.
Since Gaius has given it to him, he hasn't really had time to study it - mostly, he's called forth through his magic the necessary spell or information when he needed any. He hopes though that the book will help them again, as it has in the past, and that he will find something useful in the over two thirds of the spells section he hasn't read yet...
It's late into the night when Merlin's heart skip a beat. A spell-breaking spell? This might work, right! After all, one doesn't have to reverse a spell to have it undone! Merlin rereads the pages again, and wishes the morning to hurry in order to show his finding to Arthur and Gaius.
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Arthur saw magic as a weapon, of course. Which was sort of getting in the way of having his magic work for more than blocking the spoons attacks, because he felt still somehow that he *shouldn't* use it, no matter the need to use it to fix their problem. But now that Merlin has had him understand, at least for a while, that it isn't by definition a weapon, Arthur somehow feels like it is all right to use it. Which is why it works this time? It makes sense in my head, at least?
And imo Merlin wound't link magic to a weapon both because he wants to unmake that precise link existing already in Arthur's mind; but mostly because, well, he doesn't see it that way - HE USES IT TO MAKE BUTTERFLIES, RIGHT (and I love him for it, HUGE sigh...)