She'd made them each ham sandwiches, with Swiss cheese and mustard on fresh rye bread she'd picked up front the bakery down the block the other day, and packed them up in the picnic basket. She poured ice water into a repurposed wine bottle, jamming the cork in, and nestled it beside the sandwiches. A quick glance in the pantry, and she came away with a mostly full bag of malt vinegar flavored crisps. The perfect lunch.
He bounded down the stairs, hair still wet. She was a little unsure of precisely what to make of his mood. He was hyper-distracted, and very insistent on this hike. He had asked her to humor him, so she was going to, but she was hesitant at the same time. "All set?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Where are we off to?" she asked, as he offered her his arm.
"Norfolkshire," he said. "One of my favorite trails. I think you'll like it."
"I'm sure I will."
They landed just off a paved path. He was quiet and quick, but she managed to match his pace with some effort. The paved path was pretty well populated, as they weaved between families and runners. He seemed very determined in his steps, so she trusted him. He had obviously taken the trail many times before.
After about fifteen minutes, the paved trail ended, and he forked to the left. His pace slowed to a gentle walk, and she was very grateful. They were the only ones on this trail, it seemed, which turned from smooth through rolling hills to slightly rockier, as it met a stream. They walked, Liv's hand tucked safely in Harry's, for the better part of an hour. She wanted to talk, to ask him about what he'd said to Teddy, but decided to let him lead. He obviously had a lot on his mind, and she wanted to honor that.
"Ready for a break?" he asked, after a steep decline that left her feeling a bit out of shape.
"Sure," she said, following him out into the field to their left. He settled under the shade of a few trees, so she joined him. It really was a lovely day for a hike— only a few fluffy clouds dotted the sky. "You're right, this is a very nice trail. Very quiet."
He nodded, and opened the basket to see what she had packed. They ate in silence for a few minutes, while he wolfed down half of his sandwich.
"Y'know, when you first said you made such a great sandwich, I was very skeptical," he said. "But that really hit the spot."
She smiled, grateful at the ability to provide a small comfort to someone she liked so much.
"So what did you think of Teddy's question?"
She groaned. "That was not how I imagined us first having that conversation."
He laughed, and it put her a bit at ease. "That's for sure," he said. "But now that the can of worms has been opened…"
She pulled her knees to her chest, hugging her aching legs. "I like you a lot, Harry. But marriage… isn't even on my radar yet. It just… seems so far from where we are right now. Could I see it happening someday? Sure. But, honestly, a healthy and stable relationship is worth far more to me than a piece of paper."
He nodded, taking in everything she was saying, as he picked a few crisps out of the bag. She noticed they were the folded over, extra crunchy ones, and smiled at how particular he could be.
"How do you feel about it?" she asked, hoping that he wasn't in major disagreement with her answer. "I mean, you've done it before."
"Marriage was very important to me then," he said. "The war really messed us up. Losing so many people really left a lasting imprint on me, and I wanted to …hold on to everything that was dear to me. I felt like amidst everything that was fleeting, I wanted something I thought I would be able to return to no matter what happened."
As she chewed her sandwich, truly one of her best, she mulled over his words. Although he was so far removed from his marriage to Ginny, and if they had never split up, she wouldn't have been so close to him, she was sad he had been through the loss of that. It was never easy to lose a relationship you considered forever. "What happened?"
"As we gained distance from the war, we began to grow apart," he said. "We were unhappy with each other, but we tried to ignore it and hope it was just a period of growing pains. For the last season we were together, she extended her traveling with the team… was home maybe three days a week most of the summer. I started working more, trying to distract myself from the loneliness. I hoped that maybe once the season was over, we could work on things and come away stronger…"
She watched him intently, as he spoke about one of the few things he had kept very guarded from her. "Once October rolled around, and the season was over, we sat down and discussed what we both wanted. I knew… going into it, that we probably wanted different things, but I owed it to my wife to try and work through it together.
"Our tipping point was when I brought up starting a family. I knew I didn't want to have kids when our relationship was in a rocky place, but I was feeling the urge and if we were in it for the long haul, I wanted to make strides towards a place I would feel comfortable considering adding kids to the mix. But she didn't feel as strongly about it as I did, and didn't want to even consider it for… well, years."
"That's a deal breaker," she said, and began to worry about her own, well, undecided stance on having kids.
"Yeah," he said, picking at something in the grass.
"Is that still something you want?'
He nodded. "With less urgency."
"Oh?"
"At the time, I wasn't as active in Teddy's life as I am now. He was a huge comfort in my life as I adjusted to life by myself again."
"I can see that," she said, smiling. He looked up and smiled at her, knowing she knew exactly what he meant. "Ames felt very strongly that he didn't want to have children."
He nodded. "You were okay with that?"
"Well, yeah," she said. "For a couple of reasons. I didn't feel strongly enough for it to be a deal breaker, and I would never try and convince someone with such strong convictions that they were wrong."
"That's fair."
"And after my childhood, and my relationship with my mother… I honestly wasn't sure I have what it takes to be a good parent."
"I think you're underestimating yourself," he said. "Look at how perfectly you handled Teddy that night I got stuck at work."
"What choice did I have?" she said. "I just did what had to be done. Really nothing exceptional."
He shrugged. "I was impressed."
"Thanks," she said, reaching out for his hand to hold. He laced his fingers tightly between hers, before squeezing his hand tight.
"I think seeing our relationship has been really positive for Teddy," he said. "It's good for him to see healthy relationships."
"I definitely would've been better off if I knew what that looked like when I was younger," she said. "Is it hard to see Ron and Hermione starting a family?"
"Perhaps for a moment... at first," he said. "But now? Not at all. I'm really happy for them. I can't wait to be an uncle."
"That kid's going to be spoiled rotten."
"Absolutely." She leaned in to him, and he wrapped his arm around her, nuzzling his face into her hair. "Y'know, I'm not certain you ever answered your own question."
He considered it for a second. "I think you're right."
"I would like to get married again, some day. I think I've learned a lot since I got married to Ginny, and I think I'm better prepared for it this time," he said. "And I could see us getting married, I think we have a really nice thing here, Liv. But you're right… it's really far from where we are right now. Right now, I'm just enjoying every moment I get to know you a little better."
She leaned in and kissed him, grateful for his gentle touch, his kindness, and how much he cared about her. They sat under the tree for awhile, tucked in with each other, just enjoying the fine company on a beautiful day. The silence was content.
"I think it's time for you to talk to Holly," he said.
She sighed.
"I know," he said, running his fingers through her hair. "I'm not her biggest fan, but if she was your friend for so long, I think you at least owe her the chance for a conversation. I'm not saying you even have to forgive her. But you should listen to her."
"I know you're right," she said.
"Ron and I rowed after Ginny and I split," he said. "We didn't talk for a month, which doesn't seem like a long time now, but at the time it felt like forever. The hardest part was the first conversation we had afterwards. Once we were in the same place, and admitted we had both been pricks… everything got a shade easier."
She nodded, and began to consider the best way to go about it. She didn't want to do it at work… although she had an office to herself, if things really didn't go well, it would make for a pretty awful day.
"I would recommend a neutral location," he said. "Go get tea or a drink. Hell, go to the Leaky Cauldron."
"A drink may make that a bit easier," she said.
"I mean, of course she's welcome at the house, but I think somewhere that doesn't belong to either of you would be for the best."
She nodded. "I'll do it this week."
They spent a few more minutes enjoying the sunshine, before he got up and stretched. He collected what remained of their picnic and tucked it in the picnic basket, before reaching down for her hand to help her up.
"What do you say we head home?" He asked. "I've got the hankering for something sweet."
"After you, love."
She'd spent all morning thinking. After she'd brushed Holly off so many times, how could she possibly approach her? She worried she'd let things go on too long, that she'd been too stubborn, that everything was irreparable and this was a useless endeavor.
In an effort to try to get Holly to approach her, Liv made two idle passes through the cubicles, making certain to pass by her both times. And everytime Liv was in her vicinity, Holly's eyes immediately sunk into whatever was in front of her.
This didn't bode well with her and left Liv in her office stewing for most of the morning. She opened up her worn leather wallet, and took out two photos she'd never stopped carrying: Holly and Liv on the day of their Hogwarts graduation. They looked like babies, but glee was all over their faces. The other was on Holly and Cian's wedding day, a photo of just the two of them smiling as Liv straightened out the train of Holly's dress. Even when she'd removed all traces of Ames from her wallet, she left these photos. There was inevitable pain separating them from reconciliation, but Liv finally felt ready to confront that.
Eventually, she decided she didn't have enough time in the day to stew properly, not with the work piling up in front of her, so she poured herself a fresh cup of coffee, and got to work.
Trainee Aisling had just given a presentation on the best practices when camping in the woods, focusing on to leave as little of an imprint as possible and how to maintain cover. She clicked through to the final slide. "This concludes my presentation on Best Practices in the Wilderness. Does anyone have any questions?"
Harry's team, mostly composed of freshly appointed Aurors, a few sophomores, and then a handful of more seasoned Aurors, sat around the conference room. No one raised their hand, so Aisling took her seat at the table.
"Excellent work, Aisling, I think that's information we'd all be wise to remember next time we find ourselves assigned to the field. On Wednesday, we'll hear from Casivi for a refresher on common poisons and antidotes, but for now, I think we can adjourn this meeting and get some lunch, yeah?"
The team murmured in agreement, and most of them packed up rather quickly. He turned to Evanson, who was moving towards the door. "Evanson, a word?"
Her eyes went wide, her head tilted. After the last junior Auror departed, Holly shut the door, and leaned against the conference table her boss sat at, facing him. "How have I upset her now?"
"You haven't," he said. "I would go see her in an office when you get a chance."
Holly's eyes narrowed, trying to discern more information from Harry's face, which was frustratingly neutral.
"I don't think you'll regret it," he said.
"Got it, boss," she said. "I… will get on that."
She brought the mug of coffee to her mouth, finishing off her second- maybe third, she'd lost track, cup of coffee. And all before lunch.
"Potter said you wanted to see me?"
She looked up to see Holly standing in her doorway, "Oh, yeah. Uh... come in."
Holly closed the door quietly behind her, then took a seat in front of her desk. "So...?"
"I... uh," Liv cleared her throat as she tugged at the hair on her neck. Perhaps he'd seen her pace the office and this was his solution to her waiting for Holly to approach her. "Do you think you'd have time one night this week to get a drink with me and... talk about things?"
Holly's face lit up. "Oh, thank you, Liv. Thank you. I need to talk to Cian to see what night he can pick the baby up but I will absolutely figure something out."
"Okay," she said, trying to force her tense lips into something resembling a smile. "Just... let me know."
"I can come to your place, one night after work," she said, then lowered her voice. "You're staying with Potter, right?"
"Yeah, I'm living there, but... let's meet somewhere else, okay? I think I owe you a drink."
Holly looked hesitant for a moment, before swallowing and nodding. "Whatever you say, Liv."
"Just, let me know."
Holly nodded, smiling, before heading back to her desk.
The office was mostly empty, and she had a nervous energy in her stomach as she knew what she needed to do. She packed up her work bag, and stood in the doorway of her office for a moment. She could only see about five people working away in the mass of cubicles in the center of the room. Across from her office, but closer to the door, she saw the light was still on in Harry's office.
She walked towards it, hoping he would know exactly what to say to make everything a little bit easier. He usually did.
He looked up at her as she entered his office, and closed the door behind her. "Hey."
"Hey, stranger," he said, a smile on his lips. "Feel like I've hardly seen you today."
"I know," she said. "I've been putting out fires left and right."
"Oh, I'm sure. You off to see Holly?"
She nodded, picking at the fraying hem of her work bag.
"You look nervous," he said, standing up. "Do you want me to walk you there?"
"Are you done here?"
He considered what was on his desk. "It's nothing I can't finish at home. Give me two minutes to pack up, I'll meet you in the Atrium, okay?"
She opened the door to his office. "Have a good night, Potter."
"You too, Wellwood."
At street level, the August air was sticky against their skin, but they held hands anyways as they dodged through all the other commuters. The walk to Diagon Alley wasn't that long, nor unfamiliar.
"It's going to be fine," he said. "Just listen to what she has to say, and say your own piece when you're ready."
"You make it sound awful easy."
"It's not as hard as you think," he said. "Just stay calm. Take deep breaths if you have to. And then you can come home, and I'll be there, and we have three pints of ice cream in the freezer and an open bottle of your favorite Riesling..."
She smiled. "Okay."
"We're just about there," he said, as they rounded the corner on to the street. "You going to be okay?"
She nodded, and looked up to see Holly was waiting for her outside.
"I think I've got it from here," she said, accepting a kiss from him before he let her walk towards her friend, who had looked up to see them.
When she was about a stride away, Holly asked "Does he follow you everywhere?"
"Everywhere I ask him to," she admitted. "It's not far from the walk home anyways."
Liv lead her inside, and was pleased to see it was it was not very busy. Neville was tending the bar, and caught her coming inside. "Liv, it's great to see you."
Neville was a truly friendly guy, and Liv liked him. He greeted her so warmly and made her feel at ease, despite the tension between her shoulders. "How is everything, Neville?"
"No complaints here. Glass of moscato?"
She couldn't help but smile at him. "That sounds excellent."
She sat at the bar for a moment, as he poured her drink. Holly looked skeptical, before taking a seat next to her. Liv decided they would get their drinks at the bar, but when it came time to actually… discuss things, they would move to a booth, for more privacy.
"Evanson, right?"
"Yes…?" Holly said, reluctantly. "Do I know you?"
"You were in the first Herbology class I assisted with, I think. The second year after the war?"
"Oh, yeah. I… it's been awhile, sorry," she said.
"What can I get you to drink?"
"Just a glass of butter beer," she said. "Do you have ginger, by any chance?"
"Of course," he said, and set to work grating a bit of ginger over her drink on the other side of the bar.
"Come here often?" Holly asked quietly, her blue eyes wandering around the bar to take it all in.
"A few times," she said. "I quite like it."
"Harry joining you tonight?" Neville asked, setting down the glass in front of Holly.
"Oh, no," Liv replied. "He's up to his ears in work at the moment. Just out for a drink with a friend."
"Well, tell him I said hello, okay?"
"Of course, Neville," she said. She pulled her wallet out from her work bag, and unzipped it. "How much do I owe you?"
"It's on me," he said.
"No," she said. "You always let Harry pay."
"Because if I don't, a handful of galleons find their way into my till and throw me off all week. Drives Hannah mad."
"Don't think he won't teach me that trick," she said, pointing at him.
"I wouldn't for a second," he said. "Wait—"
"Yes?"
"You can help me with one thing," he said, and at the insistence of her nodding, leaned forward. "Is Hermione expecting?"
"Oh, yeah," she said, with a laugh. "She's due in February."
"Oh, thanks heavens," he said. "I saw them last week and thought I might have stuck my foot in my mouth. It wouldn't be the first time."
She smiled. "I think you're just fine," she said. "We're going to go take a booth, but I'll let you know if we need anything."
Author's Note: Happy Monday, folks! Hope you're all enjoying your weeks. Here's todays chapter. Let me know what you think! Thanks to my beta, potter-reading-coastie for all his help with this story.
