CHAPTER 13 : WORRY ALLEVIATED : FEAR INTENSIFIED

Arthur was up and dressed and had finished breakfast by the time Laurence wandered into the kitchen, shielding his eyes from the overhead lights. "Well, someone's probably glad that the sun isn't out…" Arthur commented.

"I think it was more the smoke and the fans they had. New place on Villier Street, food was good but there was a lot of smoking and I was obviously sitting in a draft. Felt good at the moment but woke up with sore eyes."

"You were probably allergic to something...the drink maybe?"

"No, we had wine with our meal and just dropped by for a couple of beers. Anyway, why are you dressed?"

"I'm going to church..."

"Without Merlin! Have we a possible convert on our hands?"

"I have to see that he is all right. I'll slip in the back and be as quiet as the proverbial mouse. He won't even know I'm there."

'You're way too early, we won't have to leave until ten thirty."

"There's no 'we' in this, I don't want him to see me and think I'm stalking him."

"Which you are!" Laurence insisted.

"Not really...well, maybe in a protective way. He won't be surprised to see you, however he will be concerned if I'm there. I'm going to stay well at the back and blend in with everyone else."

"Fine but blending in has never been your strong suit. Your whole demeanour demands attention."

"Well, maybe I should just stay outside..."

"Don't do that, as you said, "Sit in the back and keep you head down as if you are praying, which on second thought might be a good idea as I think you might need the forces of good on your side this afternoon."

"Once, I show him how the misunderstanding happened, he'll be fine."

Laurence hoped so, years ago that would have satisfied the old Merlin; nevertheless these last few months at Oxford had left him more suspicious of peoples' actions and less willing to accept things at face value. He knew that the two of them loved each other and that Arthur's actions had been above board but Merlin had been hurt and feeling lost. He decided if it was possible after Mass, he'd have a few words with him.

When he finally walked into the church he looked for Arthur and picked him out kneeling at the back praying or he hoped he was as a little heavenly intervention wouldn't go amiss.

After Mass, Laurence nodded at Merlin saying, "Be kind and listen to him! He's currently a nervous wreck. Remember, that he was only trying to do something nice..."

Merlin frowned and looked expectantly at him but Laurence smiled and refused to say anymore.

-0-0-

It was the strangest thing to stand outside Arthur's door and wait for him to answer it. He'd buzzed him from downstairs so he'd unlock the main door and he'd taken his time by walking up the stairs, remembering sitting there in tears a fortnight or so ago.

The door was open but he tapped on it and waited. He heard Arthur coming down the hall saying, "It's open, come on in!"

Merlin pushed it a little more and did as Arthur asked. He had a moment of panic that Hugo might be standing beside Arthur but he wasn't.

Normally, he would have used his key and gone barging in, yelling for Arthur. Now, it was different, his key remained in his pocket and even though he knew the place inside out, he felt slightly uncomfortable.

Arthur didn't help by saying, "Make yourself at home…" as you might to a visitor.

Then Merlin remembering Laurence's words tried to relax. If Arthur was going to be nervous, he should try to be relaxed as two uptight people would make the situation even more difficult. "Maybe, we should clear the air before supper," Merlin said as he sat at the table in the window alcove. He surprised himself by being so matter of fact about it

Arthur went to walk towards the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, "Coffee or tea?"

"Nothing thanks."

Arthur pulled out the chair opposite him and took a deep breath, "Do you remember the name Leon?" Merlin nodded. "Well, his fiancée Peggy is the artist Margaret Caldwell. She'd mentioned Liverpool and I remembered your photos of Crosby Beach. She'd smiled and said that she'd always wanted to paint the Gormley figures."

Merlin listened intently remembering visiting the beach with Gawaine and the photos he'd taken and meeting the sculptor.

Arthur continued, "I spoke to her and...well." He stood up and said, "Follow me, it will be easier than trying to explain."

Merlin followed him into the guest room and on the sofa was a sheet covered object. Arthur said, "It's yours! Go ahead, look at it!"

Arthur often gave him little presents but never anything this sized. He stepped toward it and stopped, then deciding to trust Arthur he eased the sheet off one corner and saw a frame and then a painting. He pulled his hand back as if bitten, he turned to Arthur saying, "l've been a fool, I helped someone get this out of the lift."

Arthur nodded and said quietly, "...Hugo, who brought it from London to Oxford for me. Now look at it."

Merlin took the sheet away and was dumbfounded in front of him was home. The view from the Mersey of Crosby Beach with a suggestion of the Liverpool background on the right and almost walking out to him across the sands were the Gormley sculptures.

He knelt down to get the full affect and felt Arthur's hand on his shoulder. He automatically reached up and squeezed it. "Arthur, it's beautiful."

Arthur and he picked it up and walked it down the hall. Merlin realised that the painting of the manor house was no longer at the end of the hall and Arthur said, "Give me a hand!" and together they hung the painting.

Merlin stood back and took a look, then stepped forward for a closer look. He turned and looked at Arthur, "How did you arrange it?"

"I remembered your photos. Peggy and Leon went up to Liverpool for a weekend and she made some sketches and I chose one from the water and here you have it, 'Another Place'. Do you like it?"

"I love it!" Merlin said and they stood and looked at it from down the hall. It was framed by the walls and looked as if it had always been there. "Did Laurence know about it? He never said."

"He was sworn to secrecy, I wanted it once it was dry enough to travel and after six months Peggy gave her go ahead and I talked Hugo who was on his way to Wolverhampton into swinging by here. He even mentioned that some kind chap had helped him get it out of the lift." He smiled, "That was you, wasn't it?"

Merlin nodded feeling so stupid, there had been a perfectly valid explanation and he hadn't waited around to find out.

"It was my fault, I should have told you that someone was bringing it. I would have saved you all the anguish but I so wanted it to be a surprise." He paused before adding, "Merlin, I would never see someone behind your back."

"I'm sorry, Arthur, that I made such a sad mess of your surprise. Can I go and look at it again?" They walked forward again and stood side by side looking, Merlin slipped his hand into Arthur's saying, "It brings home flooding back to me, not sadly but happily. I can feel the breeze in my face and smell the salt water and see Gawaine in the distance talking to a man and then realising as he came closer that it was the sculptor out with his dog.

"Look at how beautifully she has done the waves, such colours and the figures really look encrusted in barnacles as they are. You know that there are one hundred of them."

Arthur nodded, "A veritable army…"

"Defenders of our land," Merlin added thoughtfully.

Arthur smiled as Merlin if he kept looking would see in the distance two figures with a suggestion of St Edwards' scarves as Peggy had also included the two Liverpool friends in the landscape as well as in the far distance a man with a dog. He wondered how long before Merlin would notice them and his reaction when he did.

-0-0-

They sat opposite each other at the table. If Merlin had later been asked what the meal was, he possibly wouldn't have remembered. He had twice gone to take another look at the painting. He returned grinning and sat down again.

"Is it still there?" Arthur asked laughing, "Maybe we should have eaten in the hallway!"

Merlin laughed and then said seriously, "Arthur, I will never understand how you came up with the idea, wait until Gawaine hears about it."

"Do you want to take it back to your college room?"

"You're kidding, I'd never want to leave it in case something awful happened to it. It's much safer here with you, can it stay here?"

Arthur nodded, "Of course and before you go take some photos on your phone and you can send them to your mother and Gaius."

They'd finished supper. Arthur had been unable to convince Merlin to have anything but sparkling water to drink so he had settled for a beer. Merlin took the photos as Arthur had suggested and then sat checking them every few moments.

They had still not spoken about what had happened between the two of them. Merlin remembered it as an awful time, he'd spent most of it trying to come to the realisation that his relationship with Arthur was over, as the man he loved had been cheating on him with a former boyfriend, It had hurt him to the quick and he knew that he had been desperately trying to keep going.

Finally, he said, "Arthur, why didn't you tell me the truth from the very beginning?"

"I told you that there was nothing going on but you refused to listen to me. You were adamant that I had Hugo here for another purpose. You got yourself into such a state that you cut off all communication. You ran with what you had seen and what you believed you had heard."

"But it made sense, I heard you twice once when I was in the kitchen and then when I was near the lift. Each time, it was as if you could hardly wait to get your hands on him."

"Or the painting...I'd kept the secret for nearly eight months and I was dying to take delivery of it. I had even had it insured in case it was damaged and I was so looking forward to seeing the look on your face when you saw it. Hugo left almost immediately and I went into the kitchen and stared at the takeaway and realised that you must have been here. I figured we were out of something and you'd gone out to get it. I waited then I got worried and tried to phone you but you never picked up."

Merlin smiled sadly, "I was probably still sitting on the stairs, getting up the courage to walk home. It hurt so much that I never wanted to see you again..."

"Even though you loved me?"

"That was the hardest part, deep down I still loved you. You kept phoning and each call reopened the wound. But I was brave...or was it in retrospect foolhardy as I blocked you."

Arthur reached across the table and gently allowed his fingers to entwine with Merlin's, not in a possessive way but as friends who might reach out to help each other over a rough patch of path.

"I'm sorry I put you through all that. I thought that you might drop by and we'd get it all sorted out. Thank God, for Angus!"

Merlin smiled, "I think Toby was so sick and tired of my moping around that he must have mentioned it to his parents. That was the best outcome as we were forced to confront each other. Even though for a second I wanted to tear your eyes out and do other unspeakable things to you."

Arthur smiled and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Then I looked at you and realised you were also hurting and all my animosity disappeared and I felt safe just being in the same room as you. By the way, did you enjoy the homily at Mass this morning?"

Arthur knew that his jaw had dropped. "You knew that I was there?"

"As I walked in, I felt you that you were close by, then afterwards Laurence came over and I knew for sure. Were you checking up on me?"

Arthur nodded, "Not, in a weird way, I was dying to see you. Did you see me?"

"No, I didn't need to as I knew that within three hours we'd be together. I prayed that whatever had happened between us could be set right as these past three weeks have been the most harrowing. I almost didn't know which end was up!"

Looking him in the eyes, Arthur raised his hands and gently kissed his fingers. "Let's make a promise that even if our next surprise is going to be something spectacular, that we will seriously think it out before jeopardising our love for each other."

Merlin glanced at his watch and was shocked as it had already gone nine. He looked at Arthur and said, "We still have time!"

Arthur shook his head, grinned then said, "We have the rest of our lives. Come on, I'll walk you back to college."

"Give me a minute, I have to take another look at my painting." He walked down the hallway and suddenly called, "Arthur...look here, it's us...Gawaine and I, near the sea wall, I know it is, see we have on our school scarves!"

For Arthur, those few sentences made every difficulty in commissioning the painting and getting it to Oxford, and the ensuing misunderstandings worth every single effort. Merlin turned and hugged him saying, "Thank you! Oh thank you, Arthur!"

They walked slowly back to Magdalen hand in hand, just enjoying the closeness of each other's company. As they nearer the college, Arthur managed to steer Merlin into a small passageway and after asking permission, kissed him.

It did not go unnoticed...

Merlin finally said, "Arthur, we could get a hotel room…" Arthur just put his finger on his lips and laughed saying, "All in good time!"

Arthur didn't go right into the college but stood where he could see the Porters' Lodge, Merlin turned and waved before he closed the door after himself.

Once inside, he saw Toby and grinned at him, Toby smiled back saying, "I presume that means that everything is copacetic?"

Merlin grinned saying, "If you keep using words like that you'll grow into an Oxford Don!" He explained as they walked up the stairs, "Everything is now all right and in a big part as a result of your father's intervention. We had to talk to each other and things got sorted. I was worrying about nothing; it was a big misunderstanding on my part. The whole thing revolved around a painting and a person from London who delivered it. Wait until you see it, I have some photos on my phone but in real life it is even better. Arthur had it commissioned for me."

They had reached their doors and Toby, thankfully knowing that his friend was once again his normal self wished him a good night and said, "See you at breakfast!"

-0-0-

Merlin got ready for bed smiling to himself the whole time, Arthur still loved him and he had a wonderful painting. Tomorrow, he would be sending photos to his Mum, Gaius and Gawaine. Laurence must have known about it and had for Arthur's sake not said anything except that little clue after Mass today when he had said, 'Remember he was only trying to do something nice…' And he had been, hadn't he? Merlin felt special, he had found someone to love, someone who was equally crazy over him.

They had decided not to phone each other that night but he smiled knowing that Arthur would probably wake him up in the morning.

He closed his eyes, he could see the waves and some of the half submerged figures with the others standing strong and tall on the beach, at the moment above the advancing tide. He let himself drift off and he could see Arthur coming down the sand toward him.

His heart beat double time and he was conscious of a muffled sound, he felt an unpleasant sensation of something over his face. He fought tooth and nail but he was pinned down. He knew that he was breathing in something foreign which was sweet tasting where it hit his lips and then there was nothing.

-0-0-

Merlin came to in the darkness. He flexed his muscles and there was no real pain. He was unable to flex his ankles and his wrists as they felt stiff and he suspected that they had cloth around them and then he was conscious of the sound and he thought there was probably a chain. He was in an upright position but unable to move much. His hands seemed chained in front of him. His hips felt spread and his knees were bent and he was experiencing some pain in his previously injured knee. He stretched up as high as he could and his head hit something. If he stretched his neck as far forward as he could, his forehead touched something solid. He repeated the action by leaning backwards and the same thing happened.

His heart started racing as he imagined a sarcophagus.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on sound. There was something intermittent that he was conscious of but it was muffled and he realised that he was also picking up a slight vibration of whatever it was in his feet. He wracked his brains and decided it sounded like plumbing.

Suddenly he heard the muted chiming of a bell and he recognised it as it only rang twice a day once in the morning at eight o'clock and once in the evening at nine. He was certain it must be morning and that he was listening to Great Tom the Christ Church Bell. He opened his eyes to see if he could pick up any pinpoints of light.

He could see something about waist height but it was just a little glimmer. He turned to the right and saw a crack of light and immediately found it repeated on his left. He decided he was maybe in a wooden cupboard, certainly not airtight as he had no trouble breathing.

There must have been hundreds of cupboards in college residences and he didn't know if he was still in Magdalen or if he had been moved.

Toby would be up and getting ready to meet him for breakfast. His knee was beginning to ache and he tried to take the weight off it but he couldn't the way his legs had been placed.

If this was someone's idea of a joke, he wasn't impressed. He wasn't hungry but sooner of later he'd need to pee. He tried to remember if he had heard any voices when he had been taken, there had been whispering and he felt probably three people, one much rougher than the others.

He had Dr Spraklin for tutorials this morning and he was well prepared and ready to go. Even he knew that he was not going to make it.

How long could a person last without water? He'd heard it was three to four days, if today was Monday, unless someone came by Thursday he would be done for. He had to come up with a plan. If he could make noise, he might be able to alert someone to his predicament. If not he'd have to rely on Toby notifying the powers that be and their willingness to search for him. Annoying really, as all he had done this term was cause them trouble.

'Well, at least they would now recognise his name!' he thought to himself.