"And so I told her- I told her," a red fox said with a huge grin, a circle of enthralled mammals around him and a gray bunny hanging on his arm, "I said... 'you schmooze, you lose!'"
A bloom of laughter filled the ballroom.
"Aw wow, that's brutal," a raccoon wiped his eye.
"No no, it's savage, isn't that right Mr. Savage?" a giraffe bumped the fox with her hip.
"Ah! I see what you did there," Savage aimed a finger-gun at the giraffe.
The gray bunny pat Savage's arm. "Well, if it's bad puns you want, my husband could keep you here all night!"
"I'm half-inclined to take you up on that," a deer said merrily.
The circle parted a bit to let a very opulently dressed lioness through. Her ears sparkled with several earrings, her neck was adorned with a pearl necklace, and her royal purple dress had a sharp, designer cut.
"Well, well, it looks like these two little social butterflies are the life of the party!" the lioness' gentle, soothing voice said. "You must forgive me though as I don't believe we've met?"
"Ah, well, of course, we know who you are," Mr. Savage smiled at the lioness, offering his paw.
"Miranda Pride," the lioness greeted, allowing Mr. Savage to kiss it. "And you two?"
"We're the Savages," Mr. Savage said, "my name is Skyler."
"And I'm Jacqueline," Mrs. Savage smiled earnestly up at the lioness. "Such a pleasure to meet you. We're big fans of your efforts towards interspecies relationship rights."
"How delightful; bunny and fox mates?" Miranda smiled broadly. "May I ask what you two do?"
"Ah, how crass of me, would you like our card?" Skyler pulled a card out of his coat pocket. The lioness nodded politely and took it.
Jacqueline started to explain: "My husband and I are a psychologist/psychiatrist team. I'm the psychologist, and he's the psychiatrist." Jacqueline's bright brown eyes twinkled from behind her glasses as she adjusted them.
"Though with a voice like mine, it'd almost make you wonder why I wasn't the one soothing the ears of those troubled souls, huh?" Skyler winked one of his yellow eyes.
"I'm hard-pressed to disagree," Miranda smirked. "How wonderful of you two to join me. If I may, and if it doesn't violate anything confidential, how do you 'treat' a mammal that has an issue with loving another species?"
"We try to make them see that it's okay," Jacqueline nodded with an intense look, "that there's nothing to be ashamed of. Love is an emotion of the enlightened, and all of mammalkind is thus enlightened. We're all free to love who we will, if we can only accept that love within ourselves."
There was an impressed "oh!" that passed over the crowd, and a few mammals even clapped briefly.
"Mm, exquisite," Miranda smiled with her eyes half-closed. "I hope you will enjoy this little party we at Prideswell have put together, and I will keep this card, thank you." She gave a small half-bow of respect, which Skyler and Jacqueline returned. The lioness left the bunny and fox to themselves.
Skyler yawned. "Well! It's just about past my bedtime, think we should get up to the hotel room, honeybun?"
Jacqueline gestured to the dance floor. "Without at least once dance? C'mon, my handsome fox."
The hotel room door softly shut behind the bunny and the fox.
"Aaand, there's only one bed," Jacqueline said disdainfully, her eyebrows half-lidding.
"Well, of course," Skyler smirked. "This is a couple's suite. Now hush." The fox prowled around the room and started sniffing. "We can't be too careful."
"You sure you'd be able to smell anything off?" Jacqueline cocked her head.
"Plastic does smell, you know," Skyler systematically moved through the room, to the corners, under the bed, and even in the bathroom. "Seems like it's all clear."
"Great, I can't stand these contacts," Jacqueline made her way to the bathroom and took off her glasses, then removed brown contacts from her eyes, revealing bright purple eyes underneath. "I know I'm supposed to look inconspicuous, but jeez. What do you even say to someone with brown eyes?" Skyler stood next to the bunny and set about starting to remove his own contacts.
"Your eyes are like two sips of mocha coffee, joined by the warm breeze of daybreak," Skyler replied, blinking his green eyes after removing his yellow contacts.
"You do play the part of hopeless romantic perfectly, 'Skyler'," Judy smiled. "You even look pretty good with yellow eyes."
"Why thank you, 'Jacqueline'," Nick grinned, loosening his burgundy tie. "Though I have to say my favorite part of this has been seeing you in that red sequined number." His eyes darted to Judy's dress.
"Ugh, really?" Judy perked up an eyebrow. "I really don't think I wear 'opulent' well."
"I humbly disagree," Nick wiggled his eyebrows. Judy rolled her eyes.
"Do you think we should check in with the ZPD?" Judy moved her tongue within her mouth as she thought. "I think your schmoozing with Ms. Pride was far from a loss."
"I feel like we might have gotten her on the line," Nick nodded seriously, "but we're only supposed to call the guys if we have something for sure. Maybe we should keep our contacts on the nightstand in case she tries to reach out to us in the middle of the night."
"I can't believe someone like Pride might be behind the sudden increase in the distribution of randernephrol," Judy frowned. "I mean, what sense does that make? She seems to fight for a noble cause. Unlike Bellwether, she doesn't seem to want to make a power grab. Do you get a read from her?"
"Well, her life story isn't as blatant as the one I read from you, Carrots," Nick smirked, to a gentle shove from Judy. "But everyone has their reasons. 'Randy' decreases the inhibitions and increases the drive to mate of those that ingest it. If you wanted me to guess, I'd say Pride was very frustrated at one point, perhaps infatuated with a crush of another species that she couldn't attain."
"So you think she feels like it's 'justice' that she is helping develop and distribute that dangerous drug?" Judy sneered. "The dosages for it seem to be all over the place... and it's put a lot of people in the hospital."
"As it is with any unregulated drug," Nick frowned. He shook his head. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure that we might have her. We just need to supply her with the information for our 'pharmaceutical' contacts if asked, and we'll have her in the sting."
"But until then," Judy gestured toward the bed, "there's the question of who gets the bed."
"Oh, have I done something to offend you, Jacqueline?" Nick placed his hand delicately on his chest. "Are you telling me that loving mates such as ourselves don't sleep in the same bed?"
"C'mon dummy, we checked for bugs and cameras," Judy smirked. "I'm not your wife, I'm your partner."
"Eh, to-may-to to-mah-to," Nick shrugged. "You know we were chosen for this operation because we basically act like we're married anyway."
"But we're not," Judy insisted, "we're partners."
"I volunteer to take the bed," Nick said blithely, "I'm older and larger than you." He nodded to the couch. "Couch's plenty big. Maybe it folds out into a bed."
Judy scoffed. "Wow, that's big of you."
"Eh, I'm only four foot nothin'," Nick smirked. Judy rooted around in her drawer and took out her pajamas; they were purple things with darker edges and carrots all over them. Nick's eyes widened. "Uh, is that what you're gonna wear to bed? Are you supposed to be my wife or my twelve-year-old daughter?"
"Oh shut up," Judy grumbled, "they're comfy." She took her clothes to the bathroom and shut the door. She continued talking to him through the door while she changed. "So, what did you think? Hows 'Jackie'?"
"She could use a little work, but I'd date her," Nick grinned, starting to remove his own clothes.
"Oh come on, she's totally believable," Judy protested. "I'll have you know that if the whole 'police officer' thing didn't work out I was going to be an actress. Heck, I made some people cry with my role as the princess of Inevitable in high school."
"And I've been 'acting' for my daily bread almost as long as you've been alive, Fluff," Nick said airily. "You're going to need a bit more practice to keep up with me."
"You're acting like 'Skyler' isn't basically just you anyway," Judy threw back mockingly. "Bad jokes and all."
"Hey, they say write what you know," Nick grinned.
"So, what's our plan if-" Judy stepped out of the bathroom and her eyes bulged as she saw Nick, "sweet mother of marmot milk! Nick...!"
"Quiet down!" Nick whispered harshly. "These walls might not be that thick."
"Okay then, Skyler," Judy hissed. "Where are your clothes!?"
With innocent, large eyes, Nick gestured down to his black, heart-print boxers.
"Where's your night clothes?" Judy continued in a harsh whisper.
"Carrots, I sleep in the nude, so consider me even wearing boxers a courtesy," Nick half-closed his eyes and added in a sleazy grin.
"Oh for peanut butter's sake," Judy placed a hand to her forehead and shook her head as she walked by him.
"Boy, it's a good thing my ego is so huge, or else I'd be a little insulted," Nick raised his eyebrows as Judy passed him by. "A lot of mammals would pay to see a chest like this."
"Maybe you should be in another line of work then, hotshot," Judy smirked over her shoulder. Judy grabbed a pillow from the bed and started to fluff it, heading for the couch.
"Hey Judy, I was just kidding earlier," Nick's voice lost its playfulness, "you can take the bed if you want."
"Oh no, that's fine!" Judy said in an airy, teasing tone. "By all means, rest those old bones of yours. This bunny will be more spry than you in the morning anyway."
"C'mon, I insist," Nick gestured at the bed.
"Fight you for it?" Judy put up her fists and shifted her weight from foot to foot. Nick tried not to laugh at how adorable she looked in a battle stance in her cutesy pajamas joined with her eager expression.
"I'll pass on that," Nick held up a hand in caution. "One, I know I'd lose, and two, I'd like to be able to move in the morning. How about roshambo?"
"Sure!" Judy's brow lowered, holding up a fist. "Okay, rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Both of them had scissors. "Uh... rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Both rock. "...Rock paper scissors shoot!" Both rock again. And so on it went through scissors, paper, paper, scissors, and finally rock.
"Okay, this is getting spooky," Nick chuckled, "could you get off my wavelength?"
Judy sighed. "I'll take the couch."
Nick moved toward the bed, then looked over at Judy. "You know... uh... we could always share the bed."
"Pff," Judy responded tersely, looking around for some spare sheets for the couch.
Nick frowned a little, then smirked before Judy saw. "Y'know, get that practice in of acting like a married couple."
"I thought you said we do that anyway," Judy said offhandedly, looking through some cupboards.
Nick pat at his chest with both hands. "C'mon Fluff. Tell me you haven't wanted to cuddle with something like this before."
"Hmm," Judy turned her head to consider him with a widening grin. "Like a big, skinny teddy bear."
"I take offense to that," Nick said, twirling around and swishing his tail. "Bears don't have a tail like I do."
"Few mammals do," Judy's expression was very nearly a leer. "Okay, hotshot. I'm willing to give 'share' a try."
"That's the spirit," Nick grinned, sliding into bed, then 'oof'ing as Judy launched right onto him. "Jeez, your enthusiasm for everything knows no bounds."
"False, I just 'bounded' into bed," Judy smiled proudly.
"And you said my jokes were bad," Nick grumbled, bringing his arms around Judy gently.
"Oh...?" Judy felt her ears flush at the contact as Nick nestled the bunny closer to him. Judy blinked twice, suddenly quite aware of how he smelled. It wasn't unpleasant. She gave a resigned smile as she nuzzled his chest with her cheek. "Heh, is your pulse always like that?"
"Only when I'm nice and calm," Nick returned softly.
"Really?" Judy blinked. She quietly counted in her head. "That must be about 120 beats per minute... same as a rabbits...?"
"Guess we have more in common than we thought, fluff," Nick shrugged his shoulders, petting Judy's ears back, taking in their slight warmth.
"Wh-what's with all this pawsy stuff?" Judy grinned, though her own paws were gently moving across Nick's fluffy expanse of a chest.
"Just playing the role, sweetheart," Nick kissed the top of Judy's head chastely.
Judy closed her eyes. "Well, don't get used to it, buster." If she was honest with herself, she felt very, very comfortable, despite Nick's abruptly overt affectionate teasing. Or perhaps because of it?
"Aw, my wife is so mean to me," Nick said in a low semi-teasing grumble. Judy felt a tiny surge of excitement at the tone, especially because he kept petting her ears.
"Oh hush...!" Judy meant to sound irritated, but it came out as a titter.
Nick yawned, and Judy opened her eyes and looked up just to see his jaws opening with the tired-looking fox smacking his jaws right after. His petting ceased, but he held Judy a little firmer for a moment, before relaxing. She felt his tail sweep across her. Her heart rate bumped up for a moment before the feelings caused her to relax as well.
"You know, one of the first things you called me was a stuffed animal," Judy grumbled quietly, as she was beginning to feel like one.
"Shh..." Nick whispered. "Stuffed animals usually don't talk."
"Goodnight, dummy," Judy whispered back.
Nick's breath changed before long, telling Judy that he was asleep. Judy was having a harder time sleeping. She wondered about her commitment to the "role". Was Nick right? Should she perhaps have brought a more "mature" set of nightwear? She had thought initially that the fox might enjoy that a bit too much. But there she was, in pajamas she'd worn since her late teens, cuddled by a fox in his underwear.
He was so soft and relaxing... so why couldn't she sleep?
Judy's thoughts threatened to spiral out of control, but the fluffy cocoon of warmth Nick had her captured in slowly had its intended effect on its victim and Judy dropped into a peaceful slumber.