CHAPTER 22 : ALL THINGS CONSIDERED
They all met up for breakfast. Merlin had a moment's hesitation before following Toby into the Dining Hall but after glancing in the direction of the neighbouring table settled after seeing only disinterested faces. Toby turned and nodded at him and Merlin smiled back.
The girls wanted to know all about Arthur's place and the flight and he was glad to be able to tell them about the little jet and how he'd sat in the cockpit on the way back. He also mentioned how beautiful Oxford looked from the air and that Arthur's house was a manor house and that one day, he'd get around to showing them his photos.
"Do you think that they have sightseeing trips from the airport, we should do that together before we graduate?" Toby suggested.
Beth said, "That gives us three years plus to decide upon a day and a time!" causing the others to laugh. "Mind you, if we wait until we get our Masters, by then maybe we will know someone with a pilot's license who could take us up in a rented plane."
"Well, if we don't make a move soon, we'll be in Malcolm's bad books. He's sure to be waiting for us with bated breath as he has missed us so much. " Merlin said.
As Tina quickly added, "In your wildest dreams!" and they left the Dining Hall laughing.
They settled back into their tutorials easily, it had only been a three day break but for Merlin it had been eye-opening and seemed much longer. Arthur and he had decided as it was a short week not to meet up on Thursday for supper but workload permitting to spend the weekend together.
Things settled down and as far as Merlin was concerned Baxter was in his past, however on the following Thursday, as he was leaving to meet Arthur for supper, Conboy called to him as he passed through the Porters' Lodge. "Mr Emrys, there's post for you."
Merlin walked back and received a small envelope with his name, room number and residence on it, no stamp so it must have been dropped off by hand. He was just about to slit the envelope when he heard Arthur call to him so he just slipped it into his pocket.
It sat there until Wednesday of the following week when a spell of colder weather had him in his jacket again and putting his hand in the pocket, had found it. He realised it was almost a week since he'd received it, hopefully it was nothing important, he opened it and stopped; finally stepping out of the way so that he was standing against the wall and not impeding the other students who were racing to lectures.
He read it over quickly and then glanced at the signature and printed name underneath. Mike Barkley was the friend of Baxter who had confessed to being involved with the kidnapping and had enabled security to arrive at the scene, sometime after Arthur who had been trailing Baxter that evening.
The note said that he would like to meet up with Merlin for coffee and apologise for his stupid actions. He mentioned that if Merlin wanted nothing to do with him he would understand adding that should Merlin feel more comfortable, he could bring a friend along.
Merlin was impressed, it took a lot of courage to meet someone face to face to apologise.
He decided to meet up with him in public, somewhere were there was a lot of traffic. His first thought had been the Old Kitchen Bar but then he decided that they really needed to be away from prying eyes and ears should he want to tell this chap what he really thought of him.
He decided that he would take Toby along as he had been indirectly involved in the Baxter situation but when he really thought about it, he realised that he would prefer to have Arthur with him. He had been there and seen the state he was in and of all people, he knew what he had gone through and he trusted him not to try to influence how he felt.
Figuring that another day wouldn't matter he didn't bring up the subject until he was having supper with Arthur on Thursday.
It had been a warm day and Merlin had decided that he wanted to eat out. He allowed Arthur to choose the restaurant and was pleased that he had suggested Karma's, a Tibetan place which also served some Thai dishes, very popular with the citizens of Oxford and practically impossible to get into over the weekend without reservations.
Once they had finished their meal, Merlin slipped the note over the table and watched Arthur's expression as he read it.
"Well I'll say, he's got balls to face you head on. What do you intend to do?"
"I'd like to see him and was wondering if you would be willing to come as a referee in case we get into fisti-cuffs."
Arthur laughed, "Merlin, I don't think this Barkley has any danger of that from you. You're too kind and have a very forgiving nature; however I agree that should you want to have a coffee with him and hear his side of the story, that would be very mature on your part, and I would be happy to be your second, in the ensuing duel. Actually, I have somewhere, naturally not here with me in Oxford, a pair of duelling pistols."
"Arthur, you and your possessions never cease to amaze me!"
"Merlin, for once I am serious. They are in a leather case with a suede interior and they came in an antique weapon lot that my father purchased from a stately manor estate sale. That's where the knight's armour came from as well. I'm pretty sure they're at Cadogan, we'll hunt for them next time we're there. Manscombe probably knows where they are."
So it was decided that Merlin would send a note to Barkley saying that he would meet him Sunday afternoon at Caffé Nero.
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After tutorials on Friday Merlin was exhausted, his essay according to Morris had not been up to par. He asked him if he had too many interests on the go and Merlin was thankful that it was a one-on-one tutorial as he would have been mortified if Morris had said that in front of the others.
True he had spent time daydreaming about the weekend out of town but he didn't think that Morris was justified as the essay in his eyes was precise and to the point. He was told to reread the material and rewrite the essay and get it to Morris on Monday before noon.
Morris said, "I realise that these days can be very disturbing with upper classmen graduating and the rest of the students with only two weeks to go but you have a month and I don't want my students to get into a habit of slacking off and not giving their best at the end of the term. You have done exceptionally well but show me that same drive until the last day and keep pushing yourself then your results will reflect the work done and you will be able to relax until it all starts again in Michaelmas Second Year." He smiled, "As each year passes, the work doesn't get any easier but your study habits and writing ability will. You've got what it takes to make it, now get that essay to me on Monday and we'll see how you did!"
Merlin felt quite down, he tried to think and he realised that it was the first time in a long time that anyone had not been satisfied with his work. He knew that he had been a bit rushed finishing it but he still thought that it was worthy of a good mark. Shame Morris wasn't of the same opinion.
He threw himself on the bed to try to see where in the essay he had gone off track and that was a mistake. He woke to his phone and a worried Arthur. "Are you all right? It's six thirty and I hadn't heard from you. I thought you were coming here for the weekend. You're not sick or anything are you?"
"No, Morris raked me over the coals for my last essay and gave me a pep talk. Looks like I won't be free until late Saturday afternoon as I have to rewrite the whole thing."
"Better that than his marking you really low. Have you had anything to eat?"
"No…and I don't think I'd be very good company. What he said sort of made sense, I just wasn't expecting it."
"Why don't you have an early night? I'll phone you tomorrow after breakfast and see how your day is going. Make sure that you get some sleep though and don't spend the night worrying about an essay," Arthur said knowing very well that if he were in Merlin's shoes, he'd want to stay up all night and get it done.
"Sounds a good idea as I want to keep Sunday free as I am supposed to meet Barkley. I heard back from him and he said he'd be there. Should be short and sweet as all he has to say is that regrets being involved."
"Don't worry about that either. Try and sleep like a baby. Goodnight!" and then on an impulse he added, "God Bless!"
Arthur could tell that Merlin was also smiling when he said, "Good-night and God Bless, Arthur!"
Merlin slept until four in the morning and then got up. He sat at his desk, reread his essay, and reviewed the material it was based on and with a renewed spurt of energy started to write a new five-thousand word essay. He was famished by nine and went down for breakfast and made up for the dinner he had missed the previous night. He felt good, he had to acknowledge that his second effort seemed to be working out better than his first and he hoped that when it was finished Morris would agree.
He went back up to his room and had a long invigorating shower, until he was once again ready to face the world. He sat at his desk and worked again from ten until four. By five o'clock, the twice edited and scrupulously proofed essay was on its way to Morris.
Merlin smiled and said, "Enjoy!" as he hit the send button.
-0-0-
Arthur had been a little surprised that Merlin had messed up on an essay. Usually, he was word perfect and very confident. Maybe their going away for the three days was a little irresponsible. He smiled to himself as the various times he had been irresponsible sailed through his mind. Who hadn't been irresponsible with his studies at least once? He thought about Bruxelles where he had almost failed his first term because he was so annoyed at having to leave his beloved Oxford to study something which at that time had not interested him.
He made himself some supper and was tempted to phone Merlin but as he had said he was going to turn in early and hopefully sleep, he decided against it. He'd get him tomorrow morning.
Arthur went down the hall to his bedroom and turned on the TV, setting it for an hour hoping he'd be asleep before it turned itself off. His mind was racing, maybe Merlin and he should cut out their Thursday suppers. He realised looking back that he had monopolised his time. Maybe as a first year student, he should have encouraged him to have spent more time with his own friends.
He let his mind think about Merlin, they were in love and he was loathe to limit the hours they could spend together but he knew that their desire to always be together might not be such a great idea in the face of their studies. He turned over towards where Merlin usually slept and decided that this weekend, probably after they had done the Barkley thing, they would have a tête-à-tête.
-0-0-
Merlin phoned around six, "It's signed, sealed and delivered!" he said with a laugh and Arthur agreed to pick him up, feeling that he sounded in a much better frame of mind than the last time he'd spoken to him. He was but getting up at four and working until four came with its limitations and Merlin spent his time yawning.
By eight o'clock Arthur said, "Merlin, come on, you need to go to bed, you're dead on your feet. You need to sleep."
"I don't want to go to bed alone!"
"Fine, I'll go with you but work on my computer."
Merlin nodded and walked into the bedroom, Arthur went into his office to get his Mac. Merlin came out of the bathroom as Arthur entered the room and crawled into bed. "You promise to come to bed too?"
Arthur thought, 'Can't think of anything which would persuade me to do otherwise.' Nevertheless, he said nothing and just tucked Merlin in and when he was ready for bed climbed in beside him. He soon had his arms full of Merlin as he turned to snuggle into him. He kissed his brow and said, "Sleep tight, Love!" He wasn't certain but he was pretty sure that Merlin was already dead to the world.
Trying to reach his computer proved futile so he just lay there and remembered seeing nine o'clock on his bedside radio before falling asleep to the sound of Merlin's breathing.
He was awake when the sky was brightened and rolled over trying to get back to sleep but an annoying fly kept pestering him and he remembered that he'd left his window open.
It took a few minutes before he realised that the fly had a name and he said, "Merlin, it's still too early to get up...go back to sleep!"
"I can't! I'm wide awake and raring to go!"
"Well, go raring into the kitchen and make yourself something to eat and I'll join you later..."
"I'm not falling for that! I'll leave and you'll fall asleep and I won't see you until nine o'clock." Arthur felt him laugh against his chest before he said, "Well, you're awake now and I can think of something we could do to pass the time."
"I bet you can..." Arthur said smiling, giving himself into Merlin's capable hands.
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Mike Barkley was tall and serious looking. He stood before Merlin after introducing himself and waited until he was invited to sit down.
Merlin introduced Arthur by name and left it at that. Arthur excused himself to get coffees. He kept an eye on the two of them from near the counter ready to intervene if something happened that looked as if it might flare into anything physical. He kept his distance as he purposely wanted Barkley to see that he was dealing with Merlin not himself.
"I'll be there for you but he's there to see you not me and if you want me to give you time by yourself just tell me."
Merlin had grinned, "I doubt that anything he has to say will be life-shattering, he'll probably blame his lack of self confidence for being stupid enough to get involved with Baxter."
That was basically what happened as Barkley explained that he hadn't made any friends and it was surprisingly lonely surrounded by people who didn't even acknowledge that you existed. Merlin thought, 'The bane of many freshman in colleges.'
"My brothers both insisted that uni was the best time of their lives and I was so unhappy. I had never experienced being ostracised for no apparent reason.
"When Baxter had included me in his little group, I felt relieved, no longer did I sit alone at meals, people nodded at me as they passed. I thought things were going well and then Baxter started asking for favours, silly things to begin with, get him something special to drink, but then things got a little more serious, such as banging on freshers' doors in the middle of the night.
"I disliked him and finally despised him but I was too insecure to cast off on my own."
Arthur joined them and handed them their coffees. Barkley nodded his thanks.
"I went along with it, slowly beginning to loathe myself but knowing that if I didn't I would be shoved on one side and the behaviour I hated would be used against me. It was all stupid as academically I was doing well and I was beginning to feel capable of casting off from Baxter.
"Finally, it was like a quest, Baxter had something special he wanted to do, he insisted it was a hoot and everyone would find it funny, even the victim and I got carried along.
'Halfway through, I saw Baxter for what he was a bully and a rather dangerous one. I had a feeling that one of the others involved felt the same way. When Baxter asked me to go with him to release you. I knew he was lying and I told him I couldn't as I was busy. I actually stood up to him. He told me point blank that I would live to regret it. However, I already did regret it and ended up telling Bates a rather long-winded story about an empty room and a wardrobe. He picked up on it immediately and I was left sitting by myself for three hours imagining the worst."
Arthur thought to himself that was nothing to what Merlin went through.
"I'm sorry for my stupidity. I was sent down for a week and I finally told my mother that I had been involved in a kidnapping. She told my father who said that I didn't deserve a place at Oxford and regardless of what punishment the college metered out I had to speak to you."
Merlin was fascinated to hear the back story of the situation and he felt for Barkley. His reception into Oxford had been so different, it was almost as if he'd been head hunted and supplied with a safe environment and friends.
He could tell from Arthur's demeanour that he wanted him to mention all the awful things which had happened since Michaelmas but he preferred not too. They were private feelings and opening up about them would bring them to the fore and release what he had already tried to cover up. Merlin instead, thanked Barkley for seeking him out. He told him to get on the phone to his mother, "Tell her that you have spoken to me and that I understood that there were mitigating circumstances for your hooking up with a rather unsavoury character."
Barkley relaxed slightly, and Merlin said, "Do me a favour, next time you see someone who appears friendless whether in the Dining Hall or in a lecture, nod at them and ask them how things are. It will make you and that other person feel better."
Arthur suddenly said, "May I ask a question?" Barkley seemed a little surprised but nodded. "Did Baxter ever say why he picked on Merlin?"
Barkley shook his head, "No, he just referred to it as a settling of accounts."
The conversation petered out and after a few minutes, Merlin stood saying, "Thank you for being truthful, I know it mustn't have been easy."
Barkley looked relaxed for the first time since he'd entered the cafe, "No, I should be thanking you for being so understanding." He nodded at Arthur saying, "Thank you for the coffee," and left.
Arthur looked at his watch and said, "Forty-five minutes, I could have done without!"
"Good thing I know you, as that sounds cold and crass."
"You should have wiped the floor with him!"
"Revenge isn't all it's made out to be! Come on, you obviously need a proper drink."
They stood to leave but not before Arthur had leant over and said in a voice only Merlin could hear, "After this afternoon I feel a little ignored, might not some canoodling be in order?"
Merlin laughed out loud causing an older woman to glance at him, he smiled and she smiled back.
Later as they walked along, Arthur said, "This Barkley chap, he's not going to be your new best friend is he?"
Merlin grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles, "Don't you know that I have a very possessive boyfriend? What with studies and the like, I have hardly time to satisfy him without bringing a new friend into the mix."
"Thank God! "Arthur said, then slipped his arm around Merlin's waist, adding, "Though on second thought, maybe one day you could introduce me to this possessive boyfriend of yours!"
"That's not likely to happen as you'd probably kill each other on sight."