It was amazing how just one female could made him feel.
There he was, already a sour fox, already jaded from his idealism being broken when he was a mere young kit. Only eighteen, yet already savvy and slick enough to scam hapless mammals out of their lunch money. Then there were his "extracurricular" activities, where he lined his pockets with even more bucks.
They really should have seen it coming. Nick was a fox, after all. They're "known" for being untrustworthy.
Sure, he was always at odds with his mother. She didn't want him hanging around with that Finnick character... that nasty, biting little fennec. A bad influence, she called him; he just perpetuated the fox stereotype. Little did she know that Nick found his own views of the world more bleak than Finnick did.
But he felt like things were about to turn around for him.
Throughout his high school years, Nick hadn't had too much luck with the vixens. Sure, he was attractive; most mammals would agree with that. Heck, Nick would tell you that himself. He had a few girlfriends, sure. They were drawn in by his natural charm and smoothness. A lot of his sarcasm and disdain for the world was an act, but a lot of it was genuine, too. Sometimes, Nick felt like he couldn't tell where his facade ended and the "real Nick" began.
Of course, he wanted to show his girlfriends the "real Nick". His fondest wishes hadn't really changed ever since they were first broken; he wanted to belong. To a "pack", like wolves did, maybe? Or to "someone", perhaps?
When he opened up to the females, however, he found only disappointment. They didn't want that soft, tender, emotional Nick. They wanted the sarcastic, sly Nick. They wanted the mask. Eventually, every relationship he found himself in was cut off. He had to wonder if it was his fault. If he just could keep the mask on, maybe he could get what he wanted from the girls. But... would it really be what he wanted?
But things changed when she walked into his life. He never would have thought of it; never even considered another kind of mammal could make him feel this way. Finding the perfect vixen would have been one thing, but he found the perfect bunny.
One fateful day, he walked up to that bunny. She was a gorgeous thing. A good bit smaller than him, of course. Though she wasn't a cheerleader or super popular or anything, her attitude completely played off of Nick's, and he found his true self coaxed out. A few nights before that day, they had shared something special, something intimate.
Nick was left asking questions about himself. Was he really so attracted to a bunny, a different species? Did it even matter what she was? Was she the one for him?
"Hey," Nick greeted her with his casual charm. He leaned on a locker near the bunny. She turned around with a knowing smirk, her warm brown eyes accentuating the auburn field of fur they were set in.
"Hey, Nicky," she replied, tone rich with a teasing fondness.
"So Roxi, I was wondering," Nick looked at the carefully trimmed claws on one of his paws, "you wanna go out this weekend? Dinner? Movie?"
"Mmm," Roxi's eyes narrowed, and she seemed to think. "Dunno... I have a thing planned with my bunnyfriends."
"Ah, okay," Nick shrugged casually, nodding. "How about the next weekend?"
The bunny's eyes drifted off to the side, and Nick's heart skipped a bit. Was something wrong? No, something was definitely wrong.
"Hey um... Nicky?" Roxi's eyes seemed apologetic. "Listen, you're a great guy and all... but-"
"But...?" The fox tried not to look surprised, but he felt claws reaching into his gut and squeezing.
Roxi nibbled on her lip. "You were really great, Nicky..." her giggle was delightful, but it wasn't landing true. "But you know, about us bunnies... flings like you and I had is like... how we say 'hello', you know?"
He didn't know. The claws around his innards moved into his throat, which felt incredibly tight.
"Oh, right, sure," Nick waved his paw dismissively.
Don't let her see she gets to you. It'll only make it worse.
"See? I knew you'd get it," Roxi huffed out in relief, rolling her eyes. "All my girls were like: 'but he's a fox!' Y'know, they're those clingy 'mate-for-life' types. But I knew you weren't like that!"
"Yeah, definitely not," Nick shook his head. "What kinda fox thinks like that anymore?"
"Right?" Roxi drew her laptop up to her chest and hugged it close to her. "That's what I said! Interspecies is all the rage right now. And I gotta say, you were amazing."
"Naturally," Nick struggled to stretch his usual smirk onto his muzzle. He felt part of him slipping away, and it managed to escape through his mouth. "I just thought, y'know, you might want a little more of this amazingness. That's all."
"Oh, I would, definitely..." Roxi winced, looking him up and down. "But we're still so young! This place has so many sexy mammals to sample, yeah? I wouldn't wanna tie you down... y'know, I wouldn't want any rumors to spread about you or anything."
"Rumors...?" He echoed.
"Yeah, I mean, most mammals are down with interspecies, but not all," the brown bunny nodded rapidly, "so uh, if you wanted to take a vixen to the prom or something, I wouldn't want other mammals calling you a 'prey-chaser' or anything and scaring the females away. So maybe it's better if we didn't let our little adventure go public, huh?"
"You're not afraid of having a fling with a fox, are you?" Nick asked, feeling his soul draining.
"Oh me? No way!" Roxi laughed. "I could pin that on my wall! In fact, I think I might need to go smaller next time, if you know what I mean." She winked. "But I won't go spreading it around out of respect for you."
"How gracious of you," the words came out sprinkled with the bitterness that was rapidly swelling in Nick's wounded heart, but she didn't seem to notice.
"I'm such a lucky bunny that I got to get with a handsome fox like you!" Roxi grinned widely. "Listen, I gotta go, but I won't forget you, 'kay?" She waved rapidly, then scurried off.
Nick was sure he wouldn't forget her, either.
At lunch that day, Nick was in such a low place that he didn't even notice Flash joining him at his table. It was quite a feat, because Nick was generally very observant and Flash, while expedient for a sloth, was still very meticulous.
"Hey... Nick," Flash greeted. "What's... wrong?"
"Hey Flash," Nick grumbled. "Just, rgh. I thought I had something with Roxi. But she was just in it to use me and throw me away. Like a paper towel."
Flash ponderously frowned. "I knew... she was... wrong-"
"In the head?" Nick snapped wryly, folding his arms.
"-For you," Flash had a look of sympathy across his face as he slowly brought out his lunch.
"I guess I am just a typical fox after all," said fox sucked at his teeth and jerked his head to the side in shame. "I guess I'm just an idiot for wanting something more than a fling, some female I can really... I dunno, connect with. On an emotional level."
"That's not... dumb at all..." Flash slowly grew a sympathetic smile. Nick sighed. Flash always seemed so caring and thoughtful, but perhaps it was the time it took for him to change emotions that created that illusion. "She... was the dumb... one."
"Yeah right," Nick rolled his eyes. "You tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. Got myself hustled by a bunny. Tch. I'm not gonna let that happen again..."
Flash shook his head over the course of twenty seconds. "Nick... listen. One day... you'll find someone... that's good-"
"At hiding their emotions like I do?" Nick scoffed. "That way we can just fake our way through life together."
"-For you..." Flash finished. "For the... real... Nick."
"...If you say so, Flash," the fox gave the sloth an embarrassed smile. "Y'know, I should really let you finish more of your sentences. You're quite an insightful sloth."
"Thanks..." Flash smiled.
"So, you ready for track later today, 'Hundred-Yard Dash'?" Nick's eyebrow raised.
"I'm... always ready," Flash's own eyebrow raised, though much, much more slowly.
Roxi groaned, letting a breath out through her teeth, but she rolled down her driver-side window. She relaxed slightly when she saw that it was a bunny cop that had pulled her over.
"Oh hey...!" Roxi chirped.
"Hey there!" Judy Hopps responded with equal cheer. "You know you were going 50 in a 35 zone, right?"
"Really...?" Roxi cringed with a guilty smile. "Sorry...! I'm late for work, and you know how we bunnies are... gotta hop to it!"
"Right, sure!" Judy smiled. "Welp! You're gonna be even later. License and registration, please."
Roxi's hopes deflated considerably, then she handed the requested items over. Judy took them from her, still with a pleasant look on her muzzle, then returned to her cruiser. She hopped in and handed them over to Nick, who was sitting in the passenger's seat of the police cruiser.
"Wouldja run these for me, Nick?" Judy smirked, then her eyes half-closed. "We got a speeder bunny, and I don't wanna hear anything about that from you."
Nick chuckled in amusement, but an icy surge washed through him the moment he looked at the license.
Sure enough, it was Roxanne Holland. There was no mistaking the cheerful face on the card. He slowly punched in the numbers after swallowing with difficulty. Judy didn't notice anything off with Nick, as she was busy staring at the brightly-colored car's license plate in case the brown bunny tried to retreat.
Nick mentally prayed for Roxi to be some sort of criminal with a huge rap sheet, but inwardly cursed as her record came back clean as a whistle. Not even a single other driving infraction. He had so earnestly wished that Karma's fangs would sink in just the slightest bit deeper.
The fox handed the information back to his partner silently.
"Give her a ticket."
"Egh, a wild driver, huh?" Judy frowned. "Making us bunnies look bad."
"Not exactly," Nick admitted, "she's clean. But you should give her a ticket anyway."
"Oh yeah?" The gray police bunny's eyebrow perked. "Why's that? Because it'd look like favoritism if I didn't?"
"Something like that," the fox replied distantly.
"Well look who's suddenly spiteful," Judy joked. The words sank too deep into Nick, and he was hoping she wouldn't realize.
Don't let her see.
"Yup, just a spiteful ol' fox," Nick smirked with some difficulty. "Make her pay, okay?"
"Fine, fine," Judy held her paws up defensively. "It is fun to watch them squirm."
The gray bunny marched over to the much smaller car, writing a ticket for Roxi.
"Listen, gonna have to give you this, okay?" Judy gave the ticket to the brown bunny.
"Really...!?" Roxi groaned, examining the fee. "C'mon, you're a bunny-"
"Yeah, and as a bunny, we should know better, shouldn't we?" Judy put on her best reproving, matronly face. "Fifteen miles an hour is a sizable difference, especially in a residential area! Someone could have gotten hurt, especially a smaller mammal!"
"Fine... sorry," Roxi pouted.
"You're giving bunnies a bad name anyway," Judy shook her finger. "You know what they say about bunny drivers."
"Yeah, yeah," the brown bunny rolled her eyes, slumping in the driver's seat.
"If you have a dispute, you can take it up with the traffic court," Judy said with overbearing pleasantness. "Have a nice day!"
"Right," Roxi grumbled, driving off.
In the cruiser, Nick cursed himself for being so cowardly. He should have followed Judy to that lime-green car. What would he have said? "Remember me?" He felt his heart sinking. He thought he had cleansed himself from that specter of the past. There were so many mammals in Zootopia; what were the chances he would have run into that one bunny again?
Judy hopped back into her cruiser, and the fox didn't shake off his despondent look in time.
"So!" Judy chirped. "Ice cream? Coffee?"
"Huh?" Nick waggled his muzzle.
"Iced coffee...?" The gray bunny slowly tilted her head in Nick's direction. "You know... you look pretty bitter, so I thought maybe after work we could go sweeten you up."
"Gee, thanks," Nick smirked wryly. He wanted to say no, but he figured there was a much more decisive way to do it. He hated that he still could be so manipulative, but he decided to throw the barb anyway. "So, what, are you asking me out on a date?"
Judy's purple eyes immediately widened to show more of their white.
Instantly, Nick felt a little upset that it'd worked so well. He knew bunnies and he knew how to deal with them. Well, with the temporary exception of when Judy had gotten the better of him, but that was just that one time. Bunnies were flighty; one needed only to challenge their paradigm, then they'd go running. When everything got down to it, Nick was still a fox, after all, and Judy was still a bunny. Nothing would change that about-
"Huh," Judy's eyes narrowed and a playful smile crept along her face. "I guess I am. What do you say?"
"Uh," the honest surprise coating Nick's muzzle made Judy's smile grow much further. "I mean, I guess."
"C'mon...!" Judy whined winsomely. "Let's solve the puzzle of your muzzle and see if we can put a smile on it!"
A puff of air exploded from said fox muzzle and his own honest smile formed, mostly at the ridiculousness of the statement.
"See!? That wasn't so hard!"
Nick rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. We'll go out. For coffee."
Judy put the cruiser in gear and pulled away. "And then maybe you can tell me what's bothering you."
Another frown instantly formed. "Little chance of that, Carrots."
"Okay, okay," Judy backed off, gently smiling. "Just coffee."
Nick had a funny feeling it wouldn't be "just" coffee. His sigh was warm anyway.