"The lovely bunny wistfully stared out the window, watching the rain fall quietly on the street. Zootopia looked different at night, there was no doubt about that. The way the raindrops carried the colorful lights of the city outward... it was almost magical. But with that despondent look on her little gray face, one could easily see that something was wrong. As she nudged her spaghetti with her fork-"
Judy swiveled her eyes over to the fox opposite her and glared.
"Nick, I love you, so I'm going to say this as nicely as I can," Judy took in a shallow breath. "Stop. Please."
The fox gave a groaning sigh. "Sorry. Just wanted you to have a good time tonight. It's our anniversary, but you look so glum. What gives?"
"Eh, you know, work," Judy's shoulders darted up once quickly. "The case we're on is a little... undignified."
"What?" Nick barked a laugh. "No, it's hilarious!"
Judy stabbed her fork deep into her innocent spaghetti. "Yeah, if you're a child. Mm, maybe that's why I've never had any problem being in a relationship with you despite you being so much older than me."
"Harsh," the fox's placid smile showed that he took no offense from the sassy bunny. "You need to lighten up, Judy. Just find the inherent humor in the situation and laugh it off! We've been through much worse, and much more menial."
"It's just..." the bunny's eyes wandered off. "Ugh. I grew up watching Agent Rabbit-Ears. Those were my favorite movies. I've seen all of them, some multiple times. So imagine how excited I got when I heard we were going to do a case involving Jack Savage, of all mammals!" Judy let some spaghetti slough off her fork and back onto her plate, balancing her cheek on her paw. "Aaaaand not only have we not gotten to meet him yet, the case is about... well, you know."
Nick blinked slowly with a paw near his chin, clearly stifling a laugh. "Well, Rabbit-Ears is a legacy character, right? What's so special about Jack Savage?"
"I mean, he's no Sean Cottony..." Judy looked contemplative, "but... you know, it's what he represents. That whole franchise. A franchise where a bunny secret agent can do anything!" She pounded the table with her fist, thankfully with some restraint.
"I'm starting to get why you might have been into those movies," Nick said fondly, sliding his fist across the table to bump Judy's. "You certainly like conducting yourself as if you were in an action flick."
"It's worked for me so far, hasn't it?" The bunny bat her eyes. "I was hoping I could tell my family about this case once it was wrapped up. It'd make a cool conversation piece. 'Hey, guess who I got to work with'?"
"Nothing's stopping you from telling them," the fox sipped some water, squeezing Judy's hand.
"Right, how would that conversation go?" Judy rolled her eyes, moving her paw away. "'Oh yeah? What was the case about'?" Judy released an extended sigh, rubbing one of her temples. "We were trying to find out who stole his underwear."
Nick turned his head, audibly snickering. The bunny's ears flopped back.
"Yeah, har har," Judy grumbled. "Oh well. It's not like I've talked much to them lately, now that you're not the 'hot new thing' they gossip about."
As Nick opened his eyes, they narrowed a little and his brow furrowed. He was looking past Judy, who grew aware of Nick's change in mood.
"Nick?"
"Mm, someone back there looks familiar..." he replied with sudden seriousness.
Judy's eyelids fell. "Don't you 'know everyone'?"
"An exaggeration intended to astound you," Nick said blankly. "But her, she's... mm."
Judy turned her head subtly and saw an unremarkable-looking red fox eating by herself. She looked somewhat forlorn, her cool blue eyes almost shut as she chased her food around with her fork.
"Relative of yours?" Judy guessed with a small smile.
"Don't think so... I can't tell-" Nick sniffed at the air conspicuously. "Odd... that smells like fur dye, but she doesn't look at all- oh wait! I think I know." He got up and slowly approached the table. Judy stood up in her chair and turned around, observing.
The vixen looked cautiously at Nick as he approached. He cleared his throat.
"Land, sea, and..."
The red fox looked confused momentarily, but then amazement blindsided her and her mouth dropped open.
"Nick Wilde!? Oh my God!" Her face lit up as she looked him from head to toe. "Is it really true you're a police officer now?"
"Sure is," Nick nodded. "My partner and wife." He indicated Judy, who politely hopped down and joined Nick at his side.
The vixen looked her over as well. "Wow, Judy Hopps, isn't it?"
"That's right," she nodded. "Yeesh, I'm still getting recognized five years after the Night Howler thing?"
"Wouldn't have thought you'd be a cottontail-chaser, Nicky," the vixen grinned at him.
"But what a tail," Nick replied with a loving leer, making the owner of the tail hum in a mix of annoyance and fondness.
"So who's this?" Judy asked, looking at Nick. Immediately, the vixen looked reserved and Nick perked up.
"Ah, let's call her 'Skye'," he held a finger up.
"Oh, that's a callback," the vixen smiled pleasantly. "That's what he called me when we were kits."
"Old friends, huh?" Judy smiled.
"Till high school," Nick nodded. "She went to a different one."
"I saw this dunderhead's fall from grace," Skye looked at Nick judgmentally. "Couldn't believe he started hustling like some common criminal. Then couldn't believe it when I saw him in the news as the first fox cop."
"He's just full of surprises," Judy clicked her teeth.
"Please, sit down if you'd like," Skye indicated her very open table. The two followed her suggestion, sitting next to each other.
"What's with the getup?" Nick asked Skye. Judy's brow furrowed in confusion, her mouth slightly opening. Skye had perfectly plain, casual clothes on.
"Oh, you know," Skye looked uncomfortable again. Her eyes darted to Judy "...is she safe to tell?"
"Probably," Nick grinned.
"Hiding from the paparazzi," Skye said in a lower voice. "I dye myself to throw them off."
"You're... not a red fox?" Judy blinked.
"No, I am," the vixen nodded twice, "but I have this pigment condition. I'm white-furred."
"Off-white, really, leaning toward a cream," Nick said daintily.
Judy paused as she let this information breed in her head. Suddenly, her ears shot up and she nearly jumped as if drawn upwards by them. "Oh, wait! You're- mrphfgmmm!" Nick quickly slapped a paw over her face.
"Someone who doesn't want their name shouted in a crowded restaurant?" Nick offered.
"Right, sorry," Judy winced. Skye shook it off by wagging her head. "Wow, I can't believe I'm sitting across from... her." She looked skeptically at Nick. "And you know her?"
"Before she was a movie star," he smirked.
"Or a paw model," Skye rolled her eyes.
"Paw model?" Judy echoed.
"When you've got unusual fur, it's common to get offered modeling jobs of some sort, especially modeling rings or the like," Skye looked at her right hand, which had one simple ring on a finger. "When the reader doesn't know what kind of animal the paw belongs to, it's easier to see themselves wearing the ring. Less like it was designed for the mammal in the ad."
"Huh, interesting," Judy considered, subconsciously rubbing her own wedding band with her thumb. "And from there you became an actress?"
"Yup, and all that goes with that," Skye smiled in a fatigued way. "I especially detest being hounded by the paparazzi all the time."
"So you came up with this alter-ego to hide from them," Judy looked mildly excited. "Brilliant! Hiding in plain sight as a regular red fox."
"That's the idea, anyway, but I wasn't too sneaky at first," Skye fiddled with her fingers, "the paparazzi caught me exiting a hotel suite in this fur color once, and..." she sighed. "Well, the tabloids started reading that I was having an affair with a vixen."
"Who- oh... yourself?" Judy tried not to be amused.
"Yup," Skye grew a tiny smirk, which Judy allowed herself to join.
"Are you filming anything now?" The bunny wondered.
"Yeah, we're on break," Skye nodded. "I'm... not sure how much I'm allowed to say. There's some sort of criminal investigation going on, actually."
"Wait..." Nick narrowed an eye, bemused. "You wouldn't happen to be Rabbit-Ears' latest 'Bunny'?"
"Yes..." Skye rolled her eyes.
"Really!?" Judy lit up, but seemed confused when Skye began to look irritated. "What's wrong? Isn't working on an Agent Rabbit-Ears movie like a really big thing?"
"I suppose," she nodded, "but I cannot stand working with Jack Savage."
"Huh, seriously?" Judy was shocked.
"Such an egomaniac," Skye vigorously stirred her iced tea. "He's the one that insisted we stop filming until the police figure out what happened to his underwear. Can you believe that? His underwear. His silken, monogrammed underwear. Unbelievable. This is a bunny with a yacht. Can't he just buy some more?"
Nick swallowed a laugh. "It is a safety concern, Skye. If someone was able to swipe his undies, he could have some sort of stalker."
"I'm sure he'd love to think so," Skye scoffed, "they'll probably just end up on eBray."
As Skye didn't seem to know that Nick and Judy were assigned to that case, Judy decided to withhold that information. "Ah, I'm sure it'll get cleared up soon, one way or another."
"They can take their time, for all I care," Skye huffed. "Not looking forward to the PG-13 sex scene we'll have to be in together."
"I'm sure a lot of mammals would pay money to be in your place for that scene," Nick wiggled his eyebrows, sipping on some water.
"Don't really care for the whole interspecies angle?" Judy offered.
"No, that's fine... that's whatever," Skye shook her head, "I just find Jack... mgh. Such a turn-off. He's already asked the director to re-shoot a few scenes that weren't 'right'. He'll probably be unsatisfied with how the rhinestones he drizzles on my chest will catch my eyes or some dross like that."
"Weird... I love how he plays Rabbit-Ears," Judy frowned.
"Well, he is an actor," Nick shrugged. "A highly-paid actor."
"And he won't let you forget that," Skye sneered. "...I'm sorry, I'm steeping myself in this negativity and probably ruining your nice dinner or something."
"No, it's great to catch up," Nick smiled.
"Yeah, I'm learning a lot," Judy tilted her head. "Jack Savage is a jerk. Huh."
"Don't let my opinion spoil your view on him," Skye frowned, but then smirked. "He can do that himself."
"You two didn't happen to go to some sort of 'Intro to Snark' class together, did you?" Judy smiled mischievously at the two foxes.
"Ah ah," Nick wiggled a finger, "you won't catch either of us divulging any sort of fox trade secrets. Anyway, we'll let you be, Skye. Don't be a stranger."
"Yeah, I'll try to catch up with you again, maybe once filming's over?" Skye grinned.
"Just break the speed limit on our beat and we'll pull you over!" Judy suggested cheerfully.
"Heh," Skye's smile took a confused, uneasy turn.
"Okay, let me get my bunny out of here before she says anything else," Nick apologized, and scooted a protesting Judy away back to their own table.
In uniform and on the job, Nick and Judy were searching around the lot for clues when the latter's ears perked at the sound of a clearing throat.
The two turned to see Jack Savage himself standing at the door of his trailer. He was an average-sized white rabbit with turquoise eyes.
"Ah, Mr. Savage!" Judy greeted. "Officers Wilde and Hopps." She indicated them both.
"Don't have your stripes on yet?" Nick noticed.
"Aw, they're not real?" The gray bunny whined.
"Of course not," Jack snipped in a somewhat condescending voice. "Did you think there was some sort of breed of unusually handsome rabbit bucks that they pull from to play Agent Rabbit-Ears?"
"Ah, heh," Judy shrugged.
"Can we do something for you, Mr. Savage?" Nick asked pleasantly after looking at his partner subtly.
"I was hoping I could talk to you, Officer Wilde," Jack's eyes quickly darted at Judy. "Alone?"
"Afraid not," he replied. "Where I go, my partner goes. Protocol."
Judy nodded. "Is something the matter?"
Jack looked put off, but he sighed. "If you'd both step into my trailer, then."
Obliging him, they followed the sweep of his paw. It was a rather large trailer for Jack's size; easily fitting him and furnished comfortably. Jack shut the door behind them.
"I just wanted to, ah- inform you..." Jack wrestled his mouth, looking a bit anxious, "that my stolen items have been returned."
"Oh, your underpants," Nick replied instantly. Judy shot him a dirty look.
"Yes, those," Jack huffed, and the officers could swear they saw the insides of his ears redden.
"That's great," Judy smiled, "does that mean filming will be starting again?"
"Soon," Jack replied, "but... I just thought perhaps you'd like to do your job...?"
"You'd like us to examine your underpants," Nick continued blithely, "to see who's gotten into your drawers?"
Judy snorted, then turned it into a cough, rubbing her neck with her throat.
"I'm sure you both think this is very amusing," Jack snapped in irritation; both his eyebrow and eyelids dropped.
"Not at all," Nick lied, his eyelids equally lowered, but barely trying to hide the grin on his face. "We're taking the theft of your property very seriously."
"And the endangerment to your person," Judy followed up.
"So, would you like to show us your underpants, then?" Nick asked, snapping on some gloves.
"Mmgh!" Judy grunted, somewhere between a stern reprimand directed at Nick and a desperate attempt to keep from laughing.
Jack groaned in frustration, glaring up at the obnoxious fox with his fists clenched, but he stormed off and led them to a drawer, opening it. "Everything in this drawer was taken."
"I see, I see," Nick suddenly adopted the utmost seriousness as he pulled pair after pair of fancy-looking silk underwear out of the drawer, with solid, rich colors and black trim. There were a half dozen in all, and Nick methodically put them in evidence bags. Judy tried not to stare, keeping a neutral expression fixed. "We'll have to get these to the lab, you understand. A full analysis will be done on them to see if we can determine who's been rooting around in your-"
"All right, you can just cut it out with the word 'underpants', all right?" Jack snapped quite loudly. "How juvenile."
"Personal effects," Nick finished smoothly, as if he was going to the whole time. Judy winced very hard, her eye twitching.
The two dusted around for pawprints and loose fur, and finding none, returned to Jack.
"I think we're about done here, Mr. Savage," Judy reported with a patient smile. "Good luck with the filming."
"Well, I won't need that, and I'll thank you to hurry up with those," Jack sniffed with his arms folded, glaring at Nick and his evidence bags.
"We'll handle them with the utmost care," Nick claimed with an irritatingly pleasant smile.
Judy returned to the cruiser with Nick, put on her seat belt, and stared blankly at the windshield. Then, abruptly, she cracked.
"Pwahahahaha!" The bunny crumpled forward, her ears flopping in front of her face. Nick chuckled loudly alongside her, placing his own seat belt on. Judy's head bobbed up and she threw her ears out of her face. "Oh my gosh- bhahahahaha! I'm five- pgfht... I'm five years old! This should not have been that funny."
"How the mighty's underpants have fallen," Nick waggled the evidence bag.
"Nick stop," Judy fell back, the two struck by a peal of laughter. "Oh my gosh, look at them. Deep crimson, emerald green, ocean blue..."
"Only the finest silk for those bunny buns," the fox playfully wiggled his eyebrows.
"Pffffght," after a few more attempts of deep breathing and collapsing back into laughter, she finally centered herself. Nick shared in her mirth, setting the evidence bags down.
"Oh mammal," the fox wiped a tear from his eye as Judy started the cruiser, "I sure hope Skye was wearing gloves when she stole these. Wouldn't want her to get into actual trouble."
"Wait, what?" Judy snapped back to sobriety, ears alert. "You think she did it?"
"Ninety percent sure," Nick nodded.
"With what motive?" Judy's brow fell and she looked thoughtful. "She did seem kind of stressed, but she couldn't have known that stealing them would get her a reprieve from filming."
"Looks like Skye can still be kind of self-righteous," the fox mused. "She's always been kind of keen to humiliate those she takes umbrage with."
"Something you've experienced before?" Judy wondered with a critical smirk.
"We can go into that another time," Nick smirked. "Also, consider this." Nick held up one bag. "We didn't actually know they were silk and monogrammed until Skye told us. With how reserved Jack Savage was about this, I kind of doubt he went around proclaiming the details of his underoos to everyone on set, egotist or not."
"Good point," Judy nodded, snorting out another small laugh. "Guess the time off was just a bonus. What made her return them, do you think?"
"Break was long enough for her?" Nick's shoulders jumped up. "She could have had an attack of conscience." Nick looked smug. "She sees her old fox friend doing good for the world and feels guilty she was about to sell Jack's silky boxers on eBray."
"Skips definitely would have caught her if she went that route," Judy chuckled, tapping the steering wheel joyously with her index fingers. "Either way, we will have to talk to her if we find anything."
"As much as I don't really want her to get in trouble," Nick folded his paws behind his head. "It would be cathartic to get to be the one yelling at her for a change."
"Either way, at least one thing's come of this," Judy grew a devilish smirk. "I'm getting a sudden idea on what to get you for your next birthday."
"Oh yeah?" The fox's eyes darted to the opulent underwear. He wore his most charming grin. "Wouldn't that be more of a gift for you?"
"Hmhmhm...!" Judy hummed in self-satisfaction as they headed back to the ZPD.