Duke had only made it halfway past his first beer when his concentration slipped.

The Mike Mink was quiet that night, quieter than he wanted. The weasel groaned, a pitiful sound borne of mild anguish. He jerked back to wakefulness as he saw a large, reddish form brush past him.

What the-

"Nick Wilde? Deer God..." Duke scoffed, looking at the casually-dressed fox head to toe. The fox regarded Duke with that same insufferable grin he wore ninety percent of the time. He even recognized the shirt Nick was wearing. Pawaiian, of course, bright red with yellow fronds. It was one of his older ones.

"Hey hey, Duke," Nick chirped with a wide smirk across his muzzle. "Good to see you."

"Yeah, that's a lie, an' you know it," Duke muttered.

"No, I mean it, honest," Nick chuckled.

"What're you doing here, Wilde?" Duke scoffed. "This is a mustelid dive. You prob'ly barely made it through the door."

"Anything to drink?" A casually-dressed otter bartender motioned to Nick.

"Water with lemon's fine, thanks," Nick waved a paw. He looked over at Duke and smiled widely again. "I mean it, Duke, it's good to see you! You've been out of trouble for so long that I'd wondered if something'd happened to you."

"Eh, go fleece yourself," Duke jerked his head away from Nick, but then snapped it back and stared at him. "I still know you, Wilde. You can't go two sentences without lyin'. You don't give a rat's crap about me."

"You're hurting my feelings," Nick gave a tiny, insincere frown, squeezing a lemon slice into his water before taking a brisk lap of it. Duke's eyes darted briefly to the paw holding the glass.

"What the-," Duke's eye narrowed, "you're married, Wilde!?" The handsome gold ring stood out on his chocolate-brown finger.

"Nice, that ol' thief's eye," Nick tapped near his eye with his other hand. "Always looking out for those valuables."

Duke inwardly burned to retort, but he decided not to give Nick the satisfaction. After a pause, he looked back to the ring.

"Who'd you marry?"

"Well, I don't want to brag," Nick almost cooed, "but a certain Judy Hopps."

"Unbelievable," Duke's jaw hung open slightly and he shook his head. "Just unbelievable."

"What, you got a problem with that, Duke?" Nick bat his eyes.

"Everything that's happened to you recently has been cause of that freakin' bunny," Duke sneered. "You got a real job, in public service, even. You got out of all that pussyfootin' 'illegal' crap you were doin'... and you even got a wife out of her? All cause of what- those freakin' coincidences? All that crap with the-" Duke twitched, as if he couldn't bring himself to say the name of the plant he'd once stolen. "The- uh- the 'NH' incident?"

Nick's smile faltered. "Oh, believe me, I know how lucky I am."

"Yeah, like Serendipity gave you a big fat kiss on the forehead," Duke sneered.

"It does make you wonder," the fox replied mildly.

"Well, that's the difference between you'n me, you sunnuva vixen-"

"Technically true," Nick pointed out with a curved finger up.

"You actually got a face the Celestials could actually like," Duke sneered. "So they blessed the ground you walked on, and cursed mine! You've got your marriage to a hot cottontail worn proudly on your paw, and lookit this, uh?" Duke flicked his paw to show its back and front.

"You barely wore your ring anyway," Nick argued, taking a long sip of water.

"Yeah, well it's gone now," Duke muttered. "She split up with me. And thank the Lamb for that. I've never been more at peace. ...Apartment's quiet, though."

Nick's muzzle twisted as he considered the glum-looking weasel. "Y'know, besides your attitude, I'd say you actually look better than usual. Is that part of it, then?"

"Well, I- uh," Duke gestured aimlessly with one paw as if to coax the words out, "I got an interview tomorrow, see? And my daughter, she kinda sprung for a salon treatment with this one sand cat. Does great work. Not miracles, but-"

"You got your fur done?" Nick marveled with a huge, amused grin.

"Shuddup, Wilde," Duke grunted, "I gotta look presentable."

"What's the gig?"

"It's not a 'gig', Wilde, it's a job," Duke sneered. "I'm applying for pitchmammal for a trade show. I'd get to travel the continent. Daughter's in college and Queenie's... doin' whatever, so yeah. It'd get me out of the place, see some sights."

"Huh," Nick rubbed at his chin. "A pitchmammal?"

"Y'know, kinda like Billy Hayes," the weasel shrugged one shoulder.

"Right, right," the fox chuckled, "I could see you as one. You do have some persuasive charm."

"Uh huh," Duke looked Nick over, "not as much as you. You rolled aces, Wilde. You're a red fox, and they're easy on the eyes, you got charm to spare, and you hit the freakin' jackpot with that bunny, while other preds like me scrounge for scraps."

"I got very lucky," Nick admitted, "but I did work for it. I was the first fox to graduate the police academy, but not the first to try. Nine months of training, Duke. It wasn't easy."

"Yeah? Well neither's gettin' a job when you have a rap sheet like mine," Duke frowned, "even though most of it is petty. Shoo. If I had half as good a mug as you, I'd already be rollin' in dough, one way or another. I mean- we were almost in the same lot in life, all things considered. But with that grin of yours, you could charm the fur off a skunk."

"Um- yeah, heh..." Nick chuckled, rubbing behind his head. "In hindsight, that wasn't my best idea."

Duke's face read confusion.

"Anyway, ah- I suddenly find myself curious," Nick coughed. "What made you want to go straight? Did you want to try to save your marriage? Get respect from your wife?"

"God no," Duke sneered, "her respect and a dollar'd get me a bag of fried crickets. I think my tryin' to get onto the narrow road actually sealed the fate of our 'blessed union'."

"Something must have motivated you, then," the fox considered, finishing off his water, "unless you just really wanted to get out of that marriage."

"It's..." the weasel grunted, looking clearly uncomfortable. He hunched over, looking left and right. "It's y'know, it's the daughter, Wilde. She never gave me the time a' day when I was a crook, but now?" He shrugged, distracted. "I dunno, Wilde. She calls. She talks to me."

Nick smiled. "That's good- that's a good thing."

"And I was just thinkin'," Duke frowned. "If I make it to a ripe old age, or my damage acts up and I end up in a wheelchair or somethin'... y'know. It's kinda nice to know there's someone that might want to take care of me, y'know...?"

"Oh yeah," Nick's smile looked very warm.

"Geh," Duke took in an unsteady breath, and tried a smirk he didn't have the confidence for. "What, don't have one of your smart remarks for that? Weaselton's goin' all soft?"

"Oh no, Duke, I think you've earned a break," Nick grinned. "Hope you get the job." Nick's gaze slipped past Duke and his posture seemed to change subtly. "Well, I gotta get moving. Good talking to you."

"Hey, catch ya later, Wilde," Duke barely smiled, "if you're unlucky."

To Duke's surprise, Nick didn't actually leave the club, but changed seats to a small group of shady-looking mustelids and a foul-tempered boar. Duke squinted; he couldn't think of any reason why Nick would associate with that kind of crowd again, especially with a police-bunny wife.

Duke frowned. He guessed he just wasn't that clever. He checked his phone, which he thought he felt buzzing.

There was one new text, from his daughter Princess.

[Good luck on your interview tomorrow, Daddy.] Some kind of winking weasel emuji was attached.

Duke smiled at this, typing back. [thanks Princess]

He set the phone down, looking up to see the bartender otter staring at him quizzically.

"You want another beer, Weaselton?"

"Nah chief, I'm good," Duke replied with a tiny grin.

Mammal alive, if he got that job... things would be great. He'd always wanted to tour the country and see all the sights. Zootopia, sure, it was all right, but after living there his whole life, Duke felt like it had outlived its hype, at least for him. There were plenty of other city-states to see, attractions to waste time at.

Heck, he'd always wanted to go to Weaseltown, maybe take a picture with him crossing off the second "w" on the sign. Maybe he could get one of his co-workers to take it for him. Hopefully they wouldn't steal the phone.

Duke chuckled briefly to himself. Weaseltown was supposed to have the sexiest mustelid strip clubs on the planet. Without the ball and chain, he figured he actually deserved a peek or two of some eye candy.

He just hoped Princess wouldn't text him while he was there.

There was a very sudden loud WHUNK behind him, and Duke flinched exaggeratedly, looking behind him with his teeth fixed in a frightened sneer.

The snarl of an all-too-familiar voice: "Alright, buddy, hooves behind your back!" Judy Hopps herself was somehow holding the boar firm against the table, cuffing him. Nick seemingly had already finished up cuffing the other mustelids at the table.

"That takes care of that," Nick dusted off his paws.

Judy's ear perked and she looked in Duke's direction. She gave him a cheerful wave. "Oh hey, Weaselton!"

Duke returned a very weak wave with an uneasy smile, returning to his drink. He felt at his chest; his heart rate had skyrocketed and it felt like his nerves were shot.

He definitely needed a vacation.

"Uh, bartender, about that beer..." Duke chuckled unsteadily.