TW for panic attacks, storms, triggers and unintentional self-harm
Hello everyone. I'm here with another chapter based on something I suffer with. I have ptsd on top of other stuff and storms trigger the shit outta me. There was one tonight and I decided to sit down and write this.
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A couple weeks had passed since Margot's first dinner at Rogers' home.
Things had been going amazing and Tilly was well and truly in love with that girl.
Her work with Sabine and the food truck was going well, she was finally bringing in her own money and it felt fantastic.
She paid rent, helped with groceries, and around the house.
On the surface things seemed great and Tilly felt great too.
But it didn't take a lot for things to start rocking and tonight was one of those moments.
Tilly and Margot were hanging out, eating pizza and laughing at the TV.
She didn't notice when the sky darkened and it started to rain.
Rain was great. She loved to go out and stand in it then get to have a hot bath and get comfy in warm clothes.
Anyway, everything was fine until the thunder started.
Tilly instantly stiffened, nails digging into the flesh of her palms.
Margot immediately noticed something was up, touching her hand.
"Tilly, hey what's wrong?" she asked softly.
The blonde shook her head, whimpering softly as the room exploded with light and noise.
"Oh. Oh shit." Margot murmured. "Is it the storm?"
Tilly swallowed and nodded, shaking all over.
"It can be scary, sweetheart."
"Don't know what it is." Tilly whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "Make me anxious."
"That's okay." Margot cupped her cheeks and gently kissed her forehead.
"It's loud and bright, it's understandable." she reassured.
Thunder rumbled again and Tilly pulled herself away, hands sliding up over her ears. "Please stop." she whispered, backing herself up against the wall.
Margot quickly followed, getting onto her knees in front of Tilly as the girl slid down the wall.
"Tilly, sweetie. Hey-" Margot put her hands over Tilly's hands.
The blonde shuddered, tears making tracks down her cheeks.
"You're okay, Till, you're okay." She wrapped her arm around her shoulders.
Tilly hiccupped and leaned into her girlfriend, breathing hard.
"Easy, babe. We practised the breathing, yeah? In and out. Nice and slow. Five seconds then nine." Margot quickly looked around.
Thunder crashed and Tilly let out a soft sob, nails digging into her temples.
Margot quickly gathered the things she needed before moving to Tilly.
She gently took her hands from her ears, wincing as she noted the crescent moons embedded in her skin.
She slid a pair of headphones over her ears, plugging them into her phone. She quickly played something Tilly loved (The Hamilton Soundtrack) and turned it up.
She then sat in front of Tilly and took her hands, coaxing her through the breathing until she seemed more steady and even.
She wrapped her arm around her waist and helped her walk over to the couch.
Once Tilly was sat down, Margot wrapped a thick fuzzy blanket over her shoulders.
In a couple minutes, she had some lavender wax melting in the oil burner and was carrying Tilly's tactile bear and a cup of hot chocolate over to her.
She placed the items in her hands and put her arm back around her waist.
She could hear the music blasting from the headphones and when the thunder crashed again, Tilly barely noticed.
The blonde looked calmer and also exhausted, leaning into Margot.
The lightning was another issue and even the curtains couldn't block it out.
All the fairy lights were on and she changed the channel to a kids show because they were brighter.
'Here, sing, me too, might help' she drew against Tilly's palm, nodding at her as the girl opened her eyes for the first time in ten minutes.
"We hold these truths..." Tilly started singing, softly and shaky.
Margot joined in, squeezing her tightly. "To be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
Tilly smiled, even though she couldn't hear her.
"Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now."
As song after song played, the storm died down and soon the two girls were dancing in the middle of the living room.
"What time is it?"
"Show time!"
"Like I said..." Margot span Tilly around, laughing softly.
Tilly pulled Margot closer and kissed her gently. "You're amazing." she was way too loud because of the headphones and Margot laughed.
She could hear the storm had passed so she lifted the headphones. "Are you good without them? The thunder has stopped."
"I am." she squeezed her hands. "Thank you so much, Mar."
"Anything for you, my love." Margot smiled. "Continue the dance party?"
Tilly chuckled and nodded, pressing play on the music and taking her girlfriends hands.
They spent the next half hour at least dancing and singing, only stopping to hug or kiss.
Rogers' had come in somewhere in the middle, watched for just a minute before smiling, ducking his head and stepping into his office.
He may have taken a picture on his phone of them dancing and enjoying themselves.
He'd tried to rush home when he'd heard the storm but as it turned out, Margot had handled it amazingly.
It was nice to know that Tilly had three people in her life who cared deeply about her.
Nothing could ever stop that.