Gakico
Chapter 1
-6 years before series start-
The scene? Naruto's apartment building.
Not Naruto's room itself, though.
The reason that Naruto lived in his particular building is because no one else lived there. In fact, no one else had lived there in a while.
That made watching over him easy, and gave him free run over a large area that no one would complain about.
Naturally, Naruto explored a lot.
But today... Today was different.
For today... Naruto had decided to explore the basement.
And in the basement... he found something that would change his life forever.
"Wow! It's so spooky down here... I wish there was a light switch! Maybe there's one along that walllllllllll!"
As Naruto had run his hand along the wall, looking for a possible light switch, he had tripped over something on the floor. However, due to his height, he ended up landing directly on the object.
Something decently large, at that.
Naruto jumped to his feet, clutching the object to his chest...
...And, being a little kid, immediately ran screaming out of the room.
When he was back out in the daylight, he took a moment to exam his new treasure.
It appeared to be a decently large scroll, tied together by a bright green ribbon.
"A scroll? Awww... that's so boring! I was hoping for treasure! But I don't have anything else to do. Might as well read it... Maybe there's a super secret ninja fighting technique on it!"
Naruto took the scroll back up to his apartment, and plopped down on the floor. After opening up the scroll, he read the top of it.
"GECKO SUMMONING SCROLL"
"What the heck is a 'summoning scroll'? Geckos are cool, though."
He read further down, ignoring all the various mumbo jumbo... until he saw the words 'Sign Here'.
"Oohh, the scroll wants to know my name? That sounds fun! Ok, Mr. Scroll... I'll play your game!"
The Gecko scroll was a little different from most Summoning Contracts, in ways that Naruto would take years to fully appreciate.
For one, those of the Gecko clan tended not to be fighters. Their Boss summon is about four feet tall, and takes about the same amount of Chakra to summon as Gamakichi.
They tend to stay summoned for a very long time before dismissing themselves, and usually do their own thing under orders from their Boss or Summoner while in the human world.
For while the Toads made good fighters, and the Dogs made good trackers... the Gecko made good businessmen.
Every single member of the clan was a hard worker, and on an order of intelligence far above most summons. They tended to be experts in particular fields, with the boss being their overseer, and the creative mind that directed them to their final destination- Profit.
After all, the Gecko Clan is the only summons family that knows what the '????' stands for on the Gnome Clan's 'Moneymaking scheme chart'.
Another important aspect about the Geckos is how seriously they take contracts.
So seriously do they take them, that anyone who signs the Gecko contract immediately has some chakra drained by the scroll itself to summon a member- usually the boss. This keeps the scroll from ever being signed by people who don't plan on using it.
Naruto changed the fate of the world, that morning, when after he signed his name with pudgy little hands on the big scroll.
"Uzu...maki...Nar...uto! Woah, signing my name has never made me feel tired before..."
::::Poof:::
"Woah, it's a pretty big gecko! Hello, Mr. Gecko!"
"Hello... Uzumaki-san? You're... you're just a child! We've never had a child summoner before..."
"That sounds fun... you want to play some games with me, Mr. Gecko?"
"Games, eh? Well... if you signed the contract... Sure, there are lots of fun games that I know..."
And thus the whole path of the world as we knew it shuddered, and moved off course.
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-Playing with the Gecko-
When Naruto asked if he wanted to play games, The Gecko Boss thought for a moment. He was here to make money... but his summoner was merely a child. He couldn't run any businesses...
But he could learn.
Oh yes, he could learn.
So The Gecko decided that he'd begin Naruto's education with some classic board games...
-Monopoly-
"Ooh, you landed on my Boardwalk... and it has three houses, too. I think that means I win again, Naruto."
"Nooooo!!! Quick, let me mortgage my utilities!"
"Good, you remembered you could do that."
-Life-
"Well, since I went to college, I can choose which job I want... And I'll be a doctor, since they make a lot of money."
"What? That's not fair! I'm stuck being a travel agent... that's not fair!"
"It's all about using your head, Naruto... all about using your head."
-Battle Ship-
"E4"
"No! You sunk my Battleship!"
"Naruto... you've put all your ships in the same spots for the last three games... you can't do that. You have to switch things up... keep people guessing."
-Backgammon-
"You know what? I'm not explaining the game again. We're just going to move on."
-Poker-
"... That's the third time you've gotten a full house in the last 5 hands... and the other two times you had a straight and three of a kind."
"Are those good?"
"... Yes, Naruto, yes they are."
-And after all the games were done-
"Those were fun, Mr. Gecko! What do you want to do now?"
"Well... I don't know how much longer I can stay. You see, what we of the Gecko clan like to do for fun is make money, and we haven't done any of that yet."
"Make money? How can we do that?"
"I'm glad you asked that, Naruto. Actually, as the Gecko clan summoner, its one of your obligations to use us to make money... its part of the contract, actually.
"But what can we do here... What can we do to make money? It's been centuries since we've last had a summoner. How's about we look around first, and see if we can come up with some ideas?"
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-Walking with the Gecko-
Everyone in Konoha was treated to the odd scene of Naruto wandering around with a Gecko that was as tall as he was.
"And that's old man Yamada's grocery, and that's the bakery, and that's..."
The Gecko, though, was barely listening.
He was looking for business opportunities.
And one was just about to fall right into his lap.
"Stop him! He just stole an important scroll!"
The civilians barely paid attention to ninja activity, so commonplace it was.
Therefore, they completely ignored the chase going on across the rooftops, where an Iwa-nin was making a break for it after being caught attempting to steal the Scroll of Forbidden Seals.
He was being chased by two members of the Uchiha Police Force, who were closing in. One of them decided it was time to end it, though.
"Goukaikyu no Jutsu!"
The Iwa-nin leapt over the fireball... which continued to travel, and landed a direct hit on the Grocery that Naruto had just pointed at.
The chase continued unabated, with the ninja not even stopping to take a look at the store they just blew up.
"Goddamnit! Stupid ninjas... grumble grumble... never paying attention to what they blow up! Now I gotta rebuild again..."
'Bingo.'
"Naruto, how about we go talk to that poor man... what did you say his name was?"
"Old Man Yamada? He always looks at me funny, though... like I'm about to eat all of his Ramen, or something."
"Oh, I think I have something he'd like to hear."
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"So, uhh, Gecko... what you're saying is that you can give me the money to rebuild my store? And any other time some crazy ninja blows it up, you can continue to give me money to rebuild?"
"Yes, yes I can. But unfortunately, there's a catch."
All the villagers had surrounded the two talking, mostly because even in a ninja village, a four foot tall talking lizard was a spectacle.
Especially one that said he could fix their ninja-related destruction problems.
"I knew it! There's always a catch! Well, what do I have to do?"
"All you have to do is enter into a contract with me. You pay my company a certain amount of money. In return, I make sure that if anything happens, you're taken care of. The more money you pay me, the more 'insurance' you get in case anything happens."
"And this works for Ninja Attacks?"
"What about Natural Disasters?"
"What happens if there's an accident?"
The crowd was getting into this, as for some reason, the Gecko was a very inspiring speaker. Everything he said made sense... and sounded pretty funny, actually. Maybe that was just because he was a talking lizard, though...
"Yes. I can cover you in case anything happens. All you need is to sign these forms that my business associate, Mr. Uzumaki, will prepare for you."
As one, the entire crowd of villagers looked at Naruto.
Now, they all knew who Naruto was. They all knew WHAT Naruto was.
They all knew the penalty of telling anyone what they knew about Naruto.
Most didn't trust him. After all, he might be a demon!
But then they realized they were being swayed by an abnormally large talking lizard. Maybe it was the demon at work, already?
As most people started to shy away, Mr. Yamada, the owner of the Grocery that just went up into flames, decided that he'd risk it.
"Damnit, this is the third time those Uchiha's have blown up my store! I don't care who I have to make a deal with! If you can tell me that you'll rebuild my store, I'll buy your 'insurance!'"
And with one person's acceptance, more began to follow.
"Well, all you have to do is stop by our offices tomorrow and pick up your forms. The offices can be found on the ground floor of Mr. Uzumaki's apartment building. I trust you can all find your way there?"
And with that, The Gecko led Naruto away.
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"Hokage-sama, there's an odd crowd forming over in the commercial district! There seems to be a crowd of villagers surrounding the ves- I mean Uzumaki Naruto, and what appears to be a four foot tall lizard, standing on its hind legs."
As the Hokage heard the report from one of his ANBU, he paled.
"A four foot tall lizard??? Damnit, hand me that telescope!"
The Hokage grabbed the scope away from his ANBU, and shunshined up to the roof of the tower.
"Ye Gods... The Gecko clan has been lost for almost 100 years! And to resurface now... with Naruto? Well, there are worse people they could be working for..."
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"Here's the latest target... how much was his bounty, 10,000? I'll take it in cash."
Kakuzu, collected his bounty, disappeared from the bounty-office over to his accountant.
Only to see the accountant apparently busy with other work.
"Hey! What's the hold up? I thought your firm wasn't working on anyone else's case but mine at the moment?"
His accountant looked up, startled. Another head popped up next to the desk, one Kakuzu hadn't noticed before.
One that caused his eyes to open wide in awe.
"I'm sorry, Kakuzu-san. However, our firm's oldest clients have just returned from a long hiatus, and they take precedence-"
Kakuzu, though, just ignored the man.
"Gecko? One of the Gecko clan? I've been searching for your summoning scroll for the last 75 years! Who has it? Who has your scroll!"
"Mr. Kakuzu, was it? I'm sorry, but I can't dispense that information at this time. Especially if it seems as if you intend to do violence upon our summoner."
"Nooooo!!!! But, but, your clan is famed for its money-making skills! Can't you see how good a match you guys make for me?"
Another Gecko poofed into existence, this one slightly larger then the previous one (which wasn't saying much... the first one was two feet tall, and the second was two foot four inches). The Gecko clan operated in methods far different then most summon-clans, and of them was that they tended to need to summon each other to handle things that their summoner might not necessarily have time to handle.
So, part of the contract linked the summoner's chakra directly to the clan, and took a tiny bit on its own whenever a clan member needed to be summoned.
A side effect of that meant that only one person could sign the contract at any given time.
"What seems to be the hold up, Geckotaro?"
"This man seems to want a job or something, Geckomaru."
Geckomaru, the slightly taller Gecko, looked over at Kakuzu.
"You do realize that only one person can sign the contract at a time, right? But... we can always use more experienced hands in our operation. Why don't you come with me... what was your name again?"
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All over parts of Konoha, and varying areas of the Elemental Countries, the Gecko clan were making their moves.
They had a fortune that they had carefully stored away before the death of their last summoner, one that had only grown with time and careful investments.
However, a fortune doing nothing was no fun. A fortune that was growing, though... That's something the Gecko clan found very fun.
Already, business offices were being prepared on the ground floor of Naruto's apartment. A number of contractors had been hired to touch up the building, as well as negotiations to get the building purchased in Naruto's name. For as summons, they had far more restrictions placed on their actions then a human, one of the reasons they required a human to be involved in their business.
But soon... the Ninja Insurance Company would be open for business.
After they found a better name then that, though.
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-Training with The Gecko-
"Now, Naruto, we don't believe in letting our summoner sponge off of us. If you are going to work with the Gecko Clan, you are going to have do work. So what you're going to do is go from door to door, telling everyone about our insurance company. Here's a bunch of fliers, and a card with a generic sales pitch on it. I'll send Geckoto with you to make sure everything goes ok."
"Will this be fun, Mr. Gecko? Because people don't really ever talk to me... I dunno if they'll listen to me about the insurance. Besides... I'm not really sure of what it is!"
"Hmmm... I do keep on forgetting that you're only 6 years old, and that's young for humans. Well, here, I'll explain insurance to you.
"Have you ever, say, had a toy break unexpectedly? Or maybe a bigger kid came along and took your toy?"
"Yeah... poor Mr. RamenBear... I never saw him again... :sniff:"
"Well, don't start crying, because that's the kind of thing that insurance helps you out with. You see, when people give us money, they aren't just paying us to fix their problems- They're paying us so that if anything DOES go wrong, like say someone stealing their teddy bear, we'll fix it THEN. So, say, you had paid insurance on Mr. RamenBear... we would then replace him with a NEW Bear. People will give us money, so that in case something REALLY goes wrong for them, they'll be ok.
"That's what insurance is, basically. It's 'In case something happens' money... so if they ever get into trouble, they have something to bail them out.
"That's how we make a profit... Things won't necessarily go wrong for people. In fact, generally, things go fine, and they won't need to call in their Insurance. So they pay us, and we just wait. And then if something bad happens, everything is ok.
"Do you understand?"
"Uhh, sorta. Ok, Mr. Gecko! I'll go sell some insurance!"
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Naruto approached the first house on the row, prepared to sell everyone insurance.
Of course, he didn't quite know how he was supposed to do that...
"What do you want, gaki?"
"Hello, Mr. 'insert-name-here'. I'm here to tell you about Ninja ins..insur..insurance? Ninja Insurance-"
"Bah, go bother someone else, kid! I don't need none of your garbage!"
"Hey! Mr. Gecko said that everyone needs insurance! What would you do if someone came and stole away your favorite teddy bear?"
"I haven't owned a teddy bear in years... and what's this insurance thing have to do with theft, anyway?"
The man was intrigued at the mention of stealing... living as a non-ninja in a ninja village was always a dangerous proposition, and there was always the possibility of people coming and sneaking away with your stuff.
"Well, Mr. Gecko said that Insurance was 'In case bad stuff' money. If someone steals stuff that you pay insurance on, it's ok! Insurance will make sure you get it back! Or something like that..."
"Hmm... well, gimme that flyer, and get on out of here."
And so it went. Some people feared theft, some people feared natural disasters, some people feared random ninja fireballs... but if Naruto talked enough, he managed to get his point across.
Naruto wasn't the brightest kid in the world, but he knew that people were paying attention to him now. People usually never paid attention to him before, and it was something that he always craved.
But handing out these flyers... people listened to him!
'If that's what it takes to get people to acknowledge me... I'll be the best darn insurance man ever!'
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"How is Naruto's training going?"
"He is showing incredible potential in all sales aspects. He has that... something... that all good salesmen have. He's determined, that's for sure.
"However... his actual knowledge is going slowly. Getting him to hold still for lessons was slow going at first, until Geckostu figured out a way to get him to pay attention."
"Oh? And how did he do that?"
"Well, he noticed that Naruto constantly asked about learning 'Jutsus'. Now, as our only ninja-esque skills are in stealth and sabotage, for the most part we don't have jutsus to teach him. Especially not myself or Geckostu.
"But then Geckostu decided to just term everything he taught to Naruto as a Jutsu, under the classification 'Genjutsu'. Every time he starts to teach Naruto a new aspect of business, sales, marketing, or whathaveyou, he calls it the 'new subject' no jutsu."
"... Is it working?"
"Yes. Surprisingly well. Though it made Naruto's sales pitches a little bit... funnier."
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"Begin the scenario!"
"Ok, Mr. Customer... I see you put up an insurance claim here. Background Check no Jutsu!"
A sheaf of paper from the stack in front of Naruto poofs into his hands, and Naruto begins to look through them.
"Well, it says here that you only bought your Ninja Insurance for your Okonomiyaki Cart only a week before."
"Yes... I had just met a rather shady individual, and wanted to ensure that if he tried anything, my daught- I mean my son would be ok."
Naruto continued to shuffle through the documents, until stopping on one.
"But your description here of the man who stole your cart... he matches no ninja on record. In fact, he matches the description of a 'Martial Artist', which if you check your insurance, you are not covered for. Insurance Fraud no Jutsu!"
As Naruto called out his second jutsu, two mid-sized Geckos- dressed in the black pajamas of the 'traditional' ninja- appeared, grabbed the 'customer Gecko', and poofed out of the room with him.
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"Yes, I can see how that deviates from our traditional methods. But it IS a ninja-world these days, and perhaps its time for us to change with the times...
"Now, how did negotiations with this 'Kakuzu' go?"
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And so it went for Naruto.
He was quickly gaining the main thing he wanted as a child... acknowledgement. Both from the Geckos, and the growing number of customers he personally interacts with. Most people don't take him seriously, as he's just a cute little kid. It's so incredibly adorable when he starts using one of his 'jutsus', that most people can't think of him as being a demon.
Of course, these people didn't quite understand how insurance companies worked yet, so their mistake was forgivable.
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So Naruto's training went.
He trained in the art of the businessman, focusing on every aspect of the insurance agency.
He invented Jutsus left and right, that while required no chakra, still caused such effect on his chosen targets that they were all labeled 'genjutsu'. His most feared technique was the '"Claim Denial no Jutsu".
It began with the people of Konoha, who all got sucked into the insurance. It seemed like such a good idea, what with all the random destruction that occurred.
It helped that the biggest clans bought into it first, causing everyone else to want it.
From Konoha, it spread outward to the rest of Fire Country. Naruto himself spent most of his time 'working' (as much as a young child could) from the main office, but numerous Gecko Clan members spent their time traveling, promoting the importance of Insurance.
The fact that he had several lucky breaks early on helped, of course.
1 year after the founding of the company, one Uchiha Shuisui 'mysteriously' died. Uchiha Fugaku immediately attempted to cash in his 'bloodline protection' and 'life' insurances. However, neither insurance covered suicide, something that it potentially looked like could happen.
Oddly enough, Fugaku vastly preferred the idea that Shuisui had been killed, as those two insurances would pay off handsomely.
After all, the Uchiha were the military police of Konoha... they tended to be the cause of much of the ninja related destruction of Konoha, and therefore had much higher premiums then most. So Uchiha Fugaku concocted a plan.
A stupid plan in most cases... but one that messed up the timeline quite dramatically. Whereas Uchiha Itachi slaying his best friend Shuisui in the past might have been a bad thing... Fugaku decided that that idea was actually quite a good one.
It was quite suspicious of Itachi to begin with, of course. His best friend died, and he was the only person known to see him at all that day.
'But what if we find evidence that Shuisui was a 'traitor'...then we can surely cash in both of his insurances!'
The obvious person to have 'executed' him was Itachi... So Fugaku approached his son with the plan.
Needless to say, Itachi was stunned.
'Maybe now is a good time to show Father my Mangekyo?'
So Itachi spoke up, not saying that he had killed Shuisui... but that he had gained the Mangekyo.
His father didn't react to that so well.
"Damnit, Itachi! We pay a ton already to make sure that ensure that no one steals our bloodline! Now you say you have an even more advanced form of it? That's going to send our premiums through the roof!"
Itachi had already began to entertain plans of killing his family... his father saddled him with much of the paperwork of the clan as is. Itachi knew very well how much they paid in insurance, thank you very much.
And being told that his awesome new power up was just another burden to the clan? It was more then a man should have to take!
So Itachi began the Uchiha Massacre.
And the very next day, 'Itachi' insurance (as it was commonly known), was offered up to every major clan, to protect the clan in case any of their members happened to go crazy and start killing members off.
Not surprisingly, Hyuuga Hiashi was the first person who bought it.
Events like the Uchiha Massacre led people to believe that they needed insurance.
And it spread far and wide, to the point that, by the end of 6 years, people wondered how they made decisions without taking their premiums into concern.
People all over the world.
From the Yondaime Kazekage's "Sand Demon" Insurance, to Tsunade's "Debtor" insurance... if there was something you were worried about happening, you could by insurance to protect yourself against it.
The Gecko's were good at inventing that sort of thing.
Of course, there were people who tried to screw with the clan, who tried to make false claims, and the like.
If they were civilians, or first time offenders, one of the very few violent Geckos was sent out to meet them.
If they were ninjas, or repeat offenders... they tended to end up on the wrong side of Kakuzu's briefcase of cash.
Kakuzu was hired on to be the company enforcer, whenever they needed it. He also acted as bodyguard to The Gecko or Naruto whenever they needed one for a high profile setting. He was paid handsomely, and used his time with the clan to expand his own business contacts dramatically.
He was also called in to train Naruto every so often, which dramatically changed Naruto's fighting potential.
For while most would never attempt to fight Naruto, for fear of what it could cause to their insurance (because you just know that Naruto's been insured in every way possible), a few would attempt it. And if someone happened to kill Naruto... the contract would be lost, and the entire company would fall apart, destroying everything the Geckos had worked for until someone else signed their scroll.
Naruto didn't possess Kakuzu's multiple hearts, or crazy threads. He DID possess massive chakra reserves, especially for a very young child. About the size of a chuunin, at that.
So Kakuzu taught him a little taijutsu... and a single, massive elemental jutsu. While Naruto didn't have an extra heart to power each and every elemental type, he DID have reserves that would let him fight as if he did.
So Kakuzu taught Naruto Futon: Atsugai, the elemental technique that Kakuzu used that matched Naruto's affinity.
And as Naruto aged, and gained more control, and larger reserves (especially with the constant draining that the Clan drew from him), that one technique was really all he needed.
For his arsenal of 'genjutsu' was one of the most feared in the entire Elemental Countries.
But even though his future was pretty much set for him, Naruto still decided to go to the Academy. Well, he didn't so much decide, as he was told to by the truant officer. And being a ninja was one of his childhood dreams (as he found the Gecko Scroll before he decided he wanted to be Hokage), he decided to run with it.
Be scared, world... Uzumaki Naruto, the Insurance Ninja, was about to be set loose.
Author's Notes: Gakico is a story idea I took from the TFF idea forum. Pretty much, it was one of the most hilarious things ever.
However… There ain't that many places to go with it. So I never posted it as its own story here, but I figure I might as well stick it in with my other ideas/oneshots.