Gakico
Chapter 2
-6 years later-
"Hmmm... Geckotaro, come handle these files. I've got class to get to."
"Sure thing, Naruto."
As Naruto quickly gathered up some important documents, the Gecko in question came around and took his place behind the desk.
"Oh, and someone needs to go collect the Uchiha and the Hyuuga bills... send Gex this time. They've been getting rather uppity of late."
Naruto was twelve, and nearly graduated from the Konoha Ninja Academy.
He was also owner to the largest Ninja Insurance Company (and only Ninja Insurance Company) in the Elemental Countries. It's name? Naruto's Insurance Company, or NinCo, for short.
Where as Naruto would normally have grown up to be a loud, brash, attention-demanding brat, he had become loud, brash, and incredibly likeable.
For Naruto had cultivated that trait that made people listen to him.. That made people change around him. He worked on it, and made it grow.
Now? Now he was that guy you knew who could sell you fools gold, and make you think it was a good deal. And have you be happy over it later, and recommend it your friends.
Life was good for Naruto, as he had insinuated himself into the very framework of the Elemental Countries.
Everyone recognized him, as he went from the cute little blonde kid carrying the tiny briefcase, to the young blonde adolescent carrying the very nice leather briefcase. Leather with steel reinforcements, as some happened to discover when they attempted to renege on their insurance.
He dressed simply in black pants and a black shirt, with the NinCo symbol- the orange Spiral- on his back, but he walked with more authority then Hyuuga Neji could ever muster.
Because he was Uzumaki Naruto, an S-Ranked Ninja in every countries Bingo Books before ever graduating the Academy.
No one messed with the Insurance Ninja... not without drastic repercussions.
For Naruto had decided, at the bright young age of seven, that the way the Gecko's described insurance wasn't quite 'fun' enough.
No, just having people put insurance down on stuff they own against theft/destruction wasn't good enough.
No, having people put insurance down on their own actions against other people, and having them have to pay every time they committed such an act, was much more fun.
A good example was Jiraiya's Perversion Insurance. He had to pay money by the bucket load to avoid lawsuits, as his Perversion Insurance protected him from legal repercussions to his actions.
Another type of insurance that Naruto developed was alterations to the traditional 'protection' insurances. Whereas before, you just put in claims whenever something you insured was destroyed/stolen/killed, and after being found to be a 'high-risk' customer, you're rates rose.
Now, it wasn't just when you dealt with the insurance company that your rates were reevaluated... Now, whenever you did ANYTHING your rates were affected.
Whole missions had to be rethought, attacks restrategized, and companies reorganized just to minimize rate increases.
But what it came down to was that if there was anything you owned, or anything you did, you had to have insurance for it. Whether it was because you were a pervert or a gambler, or perhaps even experimented on babies, you could get insurance to cover you.
If you could pay the price.
And Naruto was the companies face. He knew everybody. From the Daimyo of Water, to the Raikage, he was in charge of all the high profile customers.
And since everyone had insurance, whether they be criminal or not, Naruto also knew people like Hoshigake Kisame, Momoichi Zabuza, and even Orochimaru.
And even more humorous, every single one of them was afraid of pissing him off. Because that meant Naruto would look for ways to raise their premiums.
But for Naruto, it wasn't about the bottom line. He left worrying about the specifics to The Boss Gecko. For Naruto, it was about living the life.
He had the life he had always dreamed of. He was rich, powerful, and was universally acknowledged.
Hokage? Pshaw. He knew all of the Hokage's secrets, as well as knowing all the work he'd have to do that wasn't fun. You couldn't make Naruto Hokage, even if you tried.
This Naruto was strong, and confident. He was actually trained in how to act like this, from one of the best. After all, nothing says style like bitch-slapping your opponent with a briefcase.
Kakuzu found it amusing that most bounty offices competed with each other to garner his business. It wasn't a secret that Kakuzu was involved with NinCo, and there were numerous little rebates involved for anyone who worked with him. So attracting his business was a high priority.
While he was disappointed that he wasn't able to sign the contract himself, he did manage to get in good with The Boss Gecko early on enough that he was involved enough with the company that he was happy.
Heck, he didn't even wear his Waterfall headband anymore (not that Waterfall Hunter Nins even attempted to hunt him down anymore... they were weary of what that would do to their premiums)... he wore a forehead protector with a simple picture of a Gecko, as he was essentially their Ninja.
He was responsible for grounding Naruto in the Ninja Arts... something he did by taking Naruto along with him when he went out to collect the easier bounties (which were still pretty tough, for normal people standards). Naruto learned how to act in a fight, and how to kick ass with style.
He only used one Ninjutsu ever... but it was more then powerful enough to fight off anyone who ignored his 'genjutsu'. And there always were the very few Gecko Warriors that he could summon, if he really needed it.
But Naruto was on his way to school, swaggering through Konoha on his way to the Academy. As he walked, some of his classmates started walking with him, with Yamanaka Ino, the alpha-female of the class, latching onto his arm. Naruto had been taught the importance of appearances, and decided that he was ok with this... it just raised his own status even higher.
And so he headed over to the Academy, ready to pass the graduation test.
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"Aburame, Shino."
The Genin exams had started, the children being called up one at a time to perform 'Bunshin no Jutsu'.
"Akamichi, Chouji."
This exam was solely done to see who actually passes out of the Academy... no other test is done, and ranking is based upon prior performances. Thus even a Dead-Last student can pass, while middle-rankers can fail.
"Haruno, Sakura."
The first person of Naruto's little clique rose, to take their test.
Naruto, in his own odd way, had far more authority over the class then any teacher.
Parent's, from the second their children attended the academy, told them to pay attention to him... some were afraid of their own rates going up because of their children's actions, some wanted their kids to see how successful even a child could be, and some wanted their kids to get in on Naruto's company.
Such was the case of Yamanaka Ino. Though on her own she would have made moves on Naruto (one of those alpha-dominance things), getting the encouragement from her parents was kind of odd.
'Especially when Dad starts breaking out those victory fans...'
Thus Naruto had many friends, and even lackeys, amongst the class. Haruno Sakura was one of them, being Ino's best friend.
Indeed, the entire balance of the class had shifted...
"Hyuuga, Hinata."
...which brought Naruto to his current situation, where he approached one of the class outcasts.
"Well, how ya doing, Sasuke?"
"Uhh, hello, Naruto. Anything I can do for ya?"
"Actually, there is. Ya see, I was looking through the files, and imagine my surprise that you're nearly a month behind on your bill."
Uchiha Sasuke had, early on, attempted to establish his dominance over the class. Being the second son that he was, he had never had to deal with the clan's insurance paper-work like Itachi had, and after the massacre an accountant had been hired to handle the whole situation.
Oddly enough, none of the Uchiha had anything about being slaughtered by a psycho teenager anywhere in their life insurance plans.
So Sasuke hadn't quite understood why Naruto was such a big deal, and early on tried to make himself Top Dog of the Academy.
An attempt that failed miserably. Because Naruto by that time was better trained then him.
Afterwards, Sasuke had been confronted by his enraged accountant, telling him of all the new fees being added onto his insurance.
Sasuke, in a hissy fit, fired the man and started taking over the finances himself.
And nearly wet his pants when he realized what exactly had happened.
Sasuke, attempted to get Naruto to change his rates back with force, not quite realizing the situation.
The next day several of the houses in the Uchiha District had to be sold to pay off some previously-unknown debts that had reappeared.
The cycle repeated itself; each time with Sasuke fearing Naruto more and more, as even more of his inherited estate was lost.
After getting down to just his own house left (the rest of the land was being converted into office buildings for the ever growing NinCo to use), he finally just broke down and gave up.
Itachi nearly killed the entirety of the Uchiha... but Naruto practically destroyed the Uchiha legacy.
These days, Sasuke fears Naruto more then he ever could fear Itachi, and has learned through constant repetition that there was just no way to win.
So, at the tender age of 10, Sasuke's spirit was broken. These days, his ambition was merely surviving to have his own family, and restore the Uchiha to its former glory. Seeing how easy it was to lose his families legacy, he really didn't care about Itachi, more concerned in rebuilding the clan.
"Nara, Shikamaru."
"I'll... I'll get right on that, Naruto."
"You do that, Sasuke."
Indeed, the whole class dynamic had changed because of Naruto, some for the better, and some for the worse. And quite a bit for the humorous.
Indeed, probably the funniest thing was one Hyuuga Hinata.
Hyuuga Hiashi was a good father... or so he thought. In his own twisted way, he did what was best for his children.
So, upon hearing that his daughter would be in the same Academy Class as NinCo owner Uzumaki Naruto, he immediately decided that this was the perfect opportunity for Hinata to get a good husband.
Unfortunately, Hinata was nowhere near as... outgoing... as Ino, so it was to Hiashi's disappointment that Hinata had to report she had failed in 'winning Naruto's affections.'
But Hiashi decided that the battle wasn't over yet. After all, Naruto clearly did not understand the power of the Hyuuga Bloodline.
So he ordered then nine year old Hinata to seduce Naruto.
Hinata only got as far as cornering Naruto and taking off her jacket before passing out from sheer embarrassment.
After the third time this happened, Hinata was attacked by an enraged Ino, who saw her 'trying to steal HER man'.
Hiashi, displeased with all of Hinata's failures, decided that, while Hinata should still continue trying, it was probably going to be up to Hanabi (as usual, it seemed) to win Naruto over.
Of course, all of her actions gave Hinata a rather bad reputation amongst the students... they thought she was something of a flasher.
"Uzumaki, Naruto."
So Naruto walked down, performed the requisite three clones, and graduated.
After all the students had their chances, the class was let out, with the graduates told to come back for team assignments.
And as Naruto headed out for the door, he was halted by the call of one of his teachers.
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"Naruto, could you hold up a second? I have something to discuss with you."
"Mizuki-sensei? Well, I guess I have some time... go on ahead, everyone. I'll catch up later."
After Naruto waved on his friends, he walked back to see what his now-former teacher wanted.
"Well, Naruto... I have something I'd like to talk to you about graduating... how much do you know about how teams are created?"
"Not very much."
'Good.'
Mizuki had been planning for the theft of the Forbidden Scroll of Seals for a long time now. He had long since determined that it was best that he himself not to attempt it. Instead, a patsy would be in order.
Thus Mizuki sought after a job at the Academy, to try to sucker some poor kid into doing it for him.
But it couldn't be just any kid. And he had to have a good reason for telling them to do it.
So when Naruto began attending the Academy, and Mizuki learned that he was the Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi, he figured he'd have the perfect person to do it.
But Naruto was also the owner of NinCo insurance, and probably not that big of an idiot. So he wasn't likely to fail (Mizuki's first plan on getting a student to steal it), nor was he likely to be easily tricked into doing it.
So Mizuki came up with a new plan that he thought to be rather ingenious.
"Well, Naruto... teams are developed around class rankings. However, to get really accurate results, extra testing is often done. You've been selected, along with two of your classmates (who will go unnamed), to attempt one of the harder tests, to help determine what the exact rankings for teams should be. After all, there's more to being a ninja then just written test scores, right?"
Oddly enough, it did make sense. If Mizuki hadn't planned on stealing the scroll and betraying Konoha, he would have actually implemented this as a real test.
And Naruto fell for it, as it did sound legitimate.
"Well, what do I have to do?"
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'Giant Scroll in the Hokage Tower, eh? Well, I go in there often enough with no one stopping me. This should be a piece of cake.'
"Now remember, Naruto... you have to treat this like a ninja-mission. Anyone you encounter should be considered an enemy, and most people won't even know what you're doing. Hide, dodge, do whatever you have to short of injuring anyone. Just get the scroll, take it out into the woods, and learn something off of it. You'll be judged on every aspect of the mission. I'll meet up with you later in the woods to retrieve the scroll."
Naruto didn't really question it, not expecting anything out of the ordinary. So he decided to enter the Hokage Tower early enough in the day that it wouldn't look like he was breaking in, and hid out for a while.
When people began to leave for the day, Naruto made his move, and went in and stole the scroll while the Hokage was taking a bathroom break.
And then he made a run for the forest.
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'Most of these jutsus are far too complicated to learn in a single night... I'd probably get a lower grade if I attempted one that's obviously too hard.
'I'll just stick with this first one... Taiju Kage Bunshin? It doesn't sound so bad."
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While Naruto was off 'completing his test'; the alarm was being sounded amongst Konoha's elite. All they knew was that the scroll had been stolen.
That is, until Mizuki showed up, with a huge red imprint of the NinCo symbol, that spiral thing, on his cheek.
"Uzumaki Naruto has the scroll! I tried to stop him... but he just threatened my rates. When I said I was willing to risk it... he smacked me with that briefcase of his, and made his getaway!"
With a target in mind now, the Hokage was able to get a visual of Naruto with his crystal ball... and was confused when he saw Naruto just sitting out in the woods. It made no sense that Naruto would steal the scroll, and then just hang out in the nearby woods... unless someone was lying.
Mizuki HAD disappeared right after saying it was Naruto who had stolen it...
Then again, so had most of his jounin. Most weren't willing to risk anything where Naruto was involved.
The Hokage paled.
'I just know I'm gonna have to pay more for this.'
With that, the Hokage decided that it'd probably be just better if he sat this one out, until he actually saw Naruto try to flee with the scroll...
'I'm not risking my premiums by interfering with Naruto...'
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"Well... that's that. I learned the technique. I wonder where Mizuki-sensei is?"
"Ah, there you are, Naruto. Now hand over the scroll, and you'll have passed."
'Yes... all is going to plan. After all, who's going to search, when they know that NARUTO has the scroll? No one wants to piss him off!'
However, there was something that Mizuki had not counted on: The nature of the Gecko Clan.
They hadn't been alerted to the theft of the scroll, and just had thought that Naruto was hanging out with his friends or something. But when a full night had gone by, and they figured he was a little too young to be spending THAT long with Ino, they investigated.
Well, more like The Boss went and talked to the Hokage, and was told the situation.
Just as Naruto was about to hand over the scroll to Mizuki, a 3 foot tall Gecko, wearing a Tuxedo shirt and jacket, appeared out of nowhere and tail-slapped Mizuki in the face, knocking him face first into a tree.
"What the heck?"
"Ah, there you are, Naruto. It turns out that scroll your holding is a rather secret document. The Hokage would like it back, as you probably weren't supposed to take it in the first place."
"Are you saying that Mizuki lied to me, Boss?"
Mizuki had picked himself up now, and looked over to see Naruto talking to two of his Geckos. The first one he saw was the one that tail slapped him.
The second was one that most only ever saw in advertisements... The Boss Gecko.
'I'm so fucking screwed.'
Mizuki tried to make a run for it, hoping to at least get away.
"Well, Boss, at least I gained a good technique from this. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
Before Mizuki could make it ten feet, he was surrounded by Naruto clones.
Who all started making seals.
Mizuki gulped... Naruto only knew one ninjutsu, before today.
"Fûton: Atsugai!"
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"Alright, now its time to announce the teams..."
Author's Notes: The second (and last, so far) chapter of Gakico.
If ya hadn't realized, the idea spawned from the hilarity of the Geico commercials.
But, I got lost with where to go with it… And then I came up with the idea that spawned 'The Great Landscaping Crisis', and I haven't come back to it.