"Arrrghhh! It's just so FRUSTRATING!"

Judy stomped around the room, pacing. She ran her fingers through her ears, shooting a frustrated breath through her teeth.

"Let it all out; you're in a safe space," came the voice of Abigail Verdun, Judy's deer therapist. She regarded the bunny from behind square-framed glasses with kind brown eyes.

"I just can't believe this has happened to me... that I've become this... this cowering SHADOW of who I was...!" Judy clenched her fists, collapsing against the couch.

Abigail looked at her notes. "Now, you told me earlier that you didn't feel glad or relieved that your aggressor was dead. You couldn't elaborate then. Have you had more time to think about that?"

"I think it's because I'm scared he was right," Judy whimpered, looking up at the ceiling with despondent eyes. "Could it be that I'm just a fake? Everything I've worked for, did it really just fall in my lap? Am I setting a bad example for other mammals just by being what I am?" Her eyes squinted shut and she released a sigh that seemed to take part of her spirit with her. "I feel like, if word got out about what happened to me, that I'd be exposed as this big fraud. That Judy Hopps wasn't so tough after all."

Abigail considered this for a moment. "The most insidious lies are the ones told to twist the truth."

Judy thrust her paws up. "But what is the truth, Abby? I just don't know..."

"The way I see it, and keep in mind this could be from somewhat of a biased perspective, being a prey," Abigail adjusted her glasses, "is that no one can truly take your accomplishments away from you. Perhaps you were lucky. That doesn't mean that you didn't do what needed to be done at a critical moment. I've read the official reports of your story and listened to your own account. Not any mammal could have done this."

"Mh..." Judy rubbed her forearm with her paw.

"Now," Abigail continued, "have you reached out to your family at all yet?"

"No," Judy sat up, wincing and holding her paws outward to try to express herself. "You know how big bunny families are. If I told even one of my siblings, even if I trusted them, it would without a doubt spread through the family like wildfire. Then, my parents would know they were right to be so worried. It'd be a huge step back for all of them..."

Abigail tapped her muzzle with a pen. "Are you afraid of being wrong about yourself? Or, are you afraid of needing help?"

Judy's muzzle opened a bit, her brow furrowing. "Well, I'm here, aren't I?"

"A mandate by the ZPD," Abigail noted. "Beyond that, what will you do to help yourself, Judy? Who will you let help you?" The deer looked through her note again. "Oh, speaking of, where are we on Nick? Your fox partner... have you shared your feelings with him?"

The bunny laced her fingers together and looked off to the side. "Kind of. ...Recently I asked if he hated me when we first met."

Abigail was taken slightly aback, blinking twice. "Ah... when you said he 'read you like a book'?"

"He said he didn't, of course," Judy rolled her eyes. "Just felt kind of sorry for me that I was so 'delusional'."

"From what I gather of this Nick fox," Abigail regarded her notes with scrutiny, "he, at that point, still was hiding his own bruises, and he wanted to hurt you a little so that your spirit wouldn't get completely crushed later. He perhaps saw something that he once had and wished to preserve it, but knew you couldn't with your 'head in the clouds', as you put it."

"He's a nice guy," Judy shrugged. "He was terrified of losing me, when it happened..."

"You do seem to represent a lot to him," Abigail mused. "Second chances, idealism, hope. Putting aside anything else, you meaning that much to him, your loss would have been terrible to him."

"Yeah, and now what?" Judy huffed. "I just don't know how damaged I am, how those qualities are marred, scuffed."

"If I said I thought you were damaged, what would you say in return?"

"That you probably know what you're talking about..." Judy gave a dry huffing chuckle.

"What is damaged can be mended," Abigail shook her head. "What I see is a damaged animal, not a broken one."

Judy smiled softly. "Thanks, Abby." She looked off into the middle distance. "I did ask him to move in with me."

Abigail dropped her pen, her pupils shrinking. "What? Really? I thought you said-"

"Is that bad?" Judy chuckled.

Abigail had to return a laugh. "No, I think that's great. A sign that the Judy Hopps of legend is still there."

"What?" Judy kept laughing slightly, feeling a bit humbled. "Whats' that supposed to mean?"

"Well, the Judy Hopps of legend goes for what she wants with no hesitation," Abigail explained. "So what am I to make from that?"

Judy smiled again, looking down. "That I'm... still here."

"In more ways than one, dear," Abigail grinned.

The office was dark, backlit by rays of sun entering through the back. Chief Bogo sat still in his office, going over some paperwork with his glasses. The entering gray bunny did not escape his notice, however, and he looked up.

"May I help you, Hopps?"

"I had a question, sir," Judy tried to summon more courage than she currently felt. She stepped forward, putting her full height to bear, and trying not to shrink back.

"Ask."

"Was there any sort of special reason you sent Officer Fangmeyer to lead the operation to save me?" Judy asked in a solid voice.

Bogo set down his paper and removed his glasses. "You too, Hopps? Do you know how much I hate having my orders questioned? I had to deal with this with Wilde."

"I don't mean 'why didn't you let Nick save me?'," Judy continued. "I wondered... why Fangmeyer?"

"Fangmeyer is my best and most fierce officer," Bogo answered in a cold voice, his mouth a thin line. "That's it. She had healthy backup. You were in the best possible position given your circumstances."

"Yes, sir," Judy must not have looked very convinced. Bogo stood up to walk toward her, towering over her, his head titled down.

"What you fail to realize, Hopps," he began, "is that I must make choices every day. Some hard, some easy. But, I do it all for the good of our city, and to preserve my unit. Their personal feelings be damned."

"Yes, sir," Judy nodded, more forcefully this time.

"Now," Bogo's tone was thick with warning, "would you like to question my orders further, or would you prefer to get back to your desk?"

"I... no sir, I'll get back to work," Judy said, her heart fluttering.

"Excellent," Bogo's stony countenance relaxed, but only a little bit. "If you're trying to prove your worth as some kind of detective, I'd suggest attempting another avenue."

As the bunny exited the office, she actually smiled a little. Chief Bogo being harsh and commanding was what she knew, what she'd hoped to expect. In some ways, it filled her with a strange kind of relief; that Bogo wouldn't be so soft on her just because of what happened. She trotted back to her desk with her weak smile still on her face.

"Huh, did you figure out something?" Nick asked, his tail flicking a bit in appreciation of her grin.

"Nope!" Judy replied. "Well, maybe. I don't know."

"How ambigous," Nick chuckled, turning away from her.

Huhhhh...
Hahhhh...
Huhh... hah...
Hh..ha..

Going there was a mistake. The bunny's breaths echoed off the walls, assaulting her ears from every direction. The metal in the room seemed to widen out before her, a steel maw ready to crush the tiny bunny. She sat down hard on a bench, her eyes losing focus. She was alone; no one around to hear her. Her breaths continued to accelerate, reflecting to and fro until it sounded like the din of an enraged specter.

"Hopps?"

No response.

"Hopps...!? You okay?"

Judy shot up, as she was hunched way over. Her nose was going a mile a minute as her ears instinctively darted in the direction of the noise. She saw a topless tigress looking over her shoulder as she retrieved her ZPD uniform from a locker.

"Fangmeyer," Judy observed aloud. "How long have you been here?"

"Um, just a few moments," she replied, dressing herself.

Judy stood up, nodding to her and saluting. "I suppose I've never thanked you formally for saving my life..."

"That's just what we do at the ZPD, Hopps," Fangmeyer grinned.

Judy's head tilted down a few degrees. A phrase she'd heard before, and even said herself. Somehow, it rung hollow, like her breaths caught in a vacant chamber. She squinted her eyes shut and looked up at her with a furrowed brow.

"You've hated me, haven't you?" Judy accused. Fangmeyer took on a confused look. The bunny thrust her finger out. "Ever since day one. You've hated that I was a part of Chief Bogo's unit. I saw that snide look you gave me when I joined. And after I 'saved Zootopia'?" She made air quotes to punctuate. "Those snide, derisive looks turned to contempt and bitterness."

Fangmeyer paused, looking the bunny up and down. "Been holding onto that one for awhile?"

"Am I wrong!?" Judy splayed her arms out.

"I don't hate you," Fangmeyer claimed.

"Not now, I guess? Now that I'm 'really' part the team?" Judy narrowed an eye, hands on hips. "Or maybe it's because I'm a fragile little bunny that got scared by a near-death-"

"Okay, let's hang on for a second," Fangmeyer interrupted, holding up her paw with a growl. She curled her paw up into a fist, only leaving up her forefinger. "I would never deride you for what you went through, okay? Don't you ever accuse me of that."

Judy swallowed, her ears going back. Fangmeyer took a seat near Judy on the bench, still towering over her despite Judy standing tall.

"Would you believe..." Fangmeyer started. "...I was in a situation like you were, once?"

"You?" Judy blinked, mouth agape.

"I feel like I should just tell you, maybe we can get some camaraderie going," Fangmeyer huffed. "And maybe you can convince Nick to stop calling me 'Krissiecat'."

"Eh?" Judy's brow went up.

"It wasn't the same as you," Fangmeyer started to look into the middle distance, "he was close to me. Male lion. Not some deranged loony. Or not that I thought. One day, he just clocked me over the head. Passed out. Took me... somewhere. Smelled bad... real bad. Still hate the smell of filth. Gotta shower more than once a day sometimes. Real strong odor blocker."

Judy blinked, sitting down next to Fangmeyer and looking up at her.

"He did things to me, Judy," Fangmeyer tilted her head up. "It could have been worse, but it could have been a lot better. And through it all, he called me 'sissy Krissie'."

"Eugh..." Judy made a face. "I'm... so sorry to hear that."

"After he had his fill, he left, in disgust, I hope," Fangmeyer snarled. She folded her broad arms in front of herself, paws on her wrists, looking away. "I couldn't believe it. He was my friend. Not only that, I was a tigress. Yet... I was so weak, I couldn't get free. I should have known better, seen some kind of sign. I thought I'd starve..."

"But someone found you," Judy nodded.

Kristen grinned. "Only Stanley. Wolfard." She shook her head. "He never gave up. He looked almost as bad as I did when he found me. He'd been out of sleep for thirty hours, he said, looking for me."

"Your partner..." Judy smiled.

"'A dog is loyal'," Fangmeyer sucked at her teeth. "That's what my mom always said when she found out I had a wolf for a partner. Speciest. Stanley's more than that. I've known some scummy wolves, even those that only care about their own interests. But Stanley..."

"I like Wolfard," Judy smiled.

"He's a good boy," Fangmeyer gave a sly smirk.

"Not as good as Nick!" Judy almost chirped. "He's a gooder boy!"

"Judy..." Fangmeyer rolled her eyes. "First of all, you can't just call a fox a 'good boy'. That's a canine thing."

"Foxes are canines... right?" Judy blinked.

"They're canids," Kristen explained. "That's one step back. Anyway... I guess when I saw that you and Wilde had formed that kind of true partnership, and it fell into your lap without some kind of personal tragedy, I felt a little envious. All it had taken was a colossal amount of luck and an action packed adventure."

"I mean, there was more than a little trouble along the way..." Judy said meekly, "and it did take more than three months..."

"But Nick's your true partner, and I see that," Kristen went on wistfully. "Just like Stanley's mine. And that's the strongest bond in the world. Partners are more than friends, more than family, more than even lovers. Once you have them, you know. You'd do anything for them, and they'd do anything for you."

Judy contemplated this, nodding her head. Fangmeyer seemed to relax a little, getting more formal in her look.

"I guess that's why Bogo put you at the head of the rescue party, huh?" Judy asked. "Your experience with this...?"

Fangmeyer frowned. "...We never did find my aggressor after that. His name was Tiberius."

"Tiberius..." Judy couldn't help but repeat.

"Bastard either split and went to a new city or took his own life," Fangmeyer scowled. "I never really got... closure, I guess."

"Until you took that hare down...?" Judy marveled. "...I'm surprised Bogo let you..."

"Me too," Fangmeyer hung her head down. "But... sometimes, I think he knows what we need. I feel like this small weight that's been sitting on my heart for years has loosened."

"Saving me was like... saving yourself?" Judy's head tilted.

"I hope you don't think it was that selfish," Kristen returned. "The ZPD needs you. The city does."

"Tch..." Judy looked down.

"I'm serious," Kristen gently placed her huge paw on most of Judy's shoulder and upper arm. The bunny looked up at her. "You and Wilde are great partners. You exemplify what the ZPD should be every day. Glad to have you with us, bun."

"Thanks, Kristen..." Judy gently smiled.

She nodded and rose, the tiger looking over her shoulder. "Wolfard and I are still better, though."

"Ehhh, I dunno about that!" Judy rose, trailing her. "How many megalomaniac sheep have you taken down?"

"Dunno about 'megalomaniacs', but I've taken down my fair of those motherflockers," Fangmeyer sneered. "Hey, we should do a 'partner' quiz. We'll get a neutral third party like Clawhauser to ask us some questions about our partners and see who gets more right. Eh? Wanna put your money where that tiny mouth is?"

"You're on," Judy said with a hint of danger. "Nick and I'll sweep the floor with your and your 'good boy'."

"Right," Fangmeyer gave a tiny, almost cute little growl in her throat. "I'm sure you and your 'canine' are much better partners than Stan and I."

Judy had to laugh. "I'll show you!"

Nick entered a dark room, laden with a box in his paws. He squirmed to the side, nudging the light switch with his nose. Light poured into the space, illuminating a vacant apartment.

Judy followed after. The place was bare, though it wouldn't be for long. She'd asked for, and received, some time off to help get herself settled.

Nick set his box down, followed by Judy. Her eye caught that a picture of his ZPD graduation topped the box. Despite wearing her dress blues, she'd glomped the fox, and he caught the moment of impact with his phone. It was ridiculous, though somewhat cute.

"Well, here we are," Nick observed, looking around the place. His voice bounded from wall to wall, making Judy's ears go back. She nodded to acknowledge him. Looking around the room and sniffing at its scent. "Hey, don't suppose any of the Hopps are interior decorators?"

Judy's breath picked up a bit. "They... I don't really want to get her involved in all... this."

"Right, gotcha," Nick nodded. "I know a few mammals that could help with getting some things in here."

"We need to furnish this place quickly," Judy quickly added. "I... don't like the sound of my voice echoing."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Mm? Well, personally, I could listen to your voice come from all directions all day, but sure. We'll get it done."

Judy tore herself away from her planted stance, walking down the hall, observing the bathroom, and to the left and right, one room to be Nick's and one to be Judy's. She tried to master her breathing once more, feeling nerves start her nose to twitching.

"Something wrong?" Nick approached her slowly.

Judy turned, eyes plaintive. "Nick, you said you'd do anything for me, right?"

Nick let out a tiny sigh and scoff, smirking. "You can't keep playing that card, Judy." Almost immediately, however, his grin became sincere. "What is it?"

"I'd like to sleep in the same room as you."

"Y-yeah?" Nick blinked.

"I..." Judy took in a huge breath and let it out, "I need to be able to hear your breath, need to be able to see you when I open my eyes. I just want- need you, need you there."

"Yeah, I can do that," the fox said quietly.

"I'll sleep on a bunk or a cushion or whatever until we can fix things up," Judy began to babble. "I just... y'know, I can't- I don't know."

"Hey, c'mon," Nick beckoned her, holding his paws open. Judy attached to him almost instantly, bounding into his arms. She began to sniffle as her breath got away from her again. The fox's gentle, pad-tipped paws gave her immense comfort, and her tears flowed slowly.

Judy was expecting Nick to set her down at any moment, but he didn't. Even when she squeezed tight, he held her. Even when she shivered and sobbed, he held her. Eventually, he walked with her over to a rudimentary couch and sat down with her. Her breath was coming easier; she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so comfortable and safe.

"And..." she finally spoke again, "and if I need this...?"

"I'll see what I can do," Nick returned warmly.

She heard the note in his voice. That hint of tease. Not just the defensive canid who might be as scared as she was at times, but her partner, the mammal she chose to be with. The flavor that was undeniably Nick. He was still there, and she finally believed she could still be found, too. She smiled, and cried a little more. Immense relief swirled and enveloped her, and she gave a tiny, happy sigh.

Nick gently separated them a little bit, just so he could see the bunny. She was wearing a wobbly, tearful smile.

"Li'l tired there, Fluff?" The fox asked in his smooth voice.

"Extremely," Judy chuckled.

"Let's see about getting to bed then, huh?" Nick lifted her up and took her to the room that would be theirs. "Might have to go buy some sleep shorts so I don't offend the bunny sensibilities."

Judy responded with a hitching, broken chuckle capped with a sniff. She was here with Nick. Her fox.

She would get better.