"Ughhhhh!" The weasel thrust his beat-up old car into park as he pulled off to the side of the road. "Freakin' perfect. This is just what I need."
A large police cruiser loomed behind his vehicle, and the doors opened to reveal a bunny and a fox, both nimbly leaping out of their cruiser to close in on the parked vehicle.
"Oh, just- double perfect," the weasel grunted, gnashing his teeth at the police closing in on his vehicle. "Splendid. Outstanding. Could this day get ANY BETTER?" The weasel reached into his glove box.
"Well, well, well," Judy grinned in a self-satisfied manner and folded her paws. "Look who we have here..."
"Yeah, yeah," Duke Weaselton muttered, handing over a paper and a card.
"Looks like you know the drill," Judy chuckled. "License and registration here, Nick."
Nick chuckled. "How about you run them this time? Last time I was the one who got to giggle over his rap sheet." Judy nodded, fluttered the documents, and headed back to the cruiser.
"Ha ha, you guys," Duke gripped his steering wheel tighter. "Now could you maybe hurry it up a bit? I got somewhere to be."
"I figured, from how fast you were going," Nick huffed, peering down at him. "You know, they do say 'drive it like you stole it', but I'm not sure a hunk of junk like this is worth the trouble." Nick ran the edge of his claw around the dinged up driver's side door.
"Well, not everyone can afford a Cowdillac, now can they?" Duke grimaced, sucking at his teeth and wrinkling his nose.
"I don't even have a car, personally, so I wouldn't know," Nick claimed, rubbing the end of his claws on his uniform.
"You don't?" Judy blinked, returning and giving Duke his documents back. "I could have sworn you were trying to impress one of the ZPD boys, saying you had some sort of... what was it... red convertible?"
Nick cleared his throat and gave a charming yet sheepish grin. "Well, yes, I did say that."
"Can you two just write me my ticket and let me go? I'm gonna be late!" Duke squawked in a kind of desperate anger.
"Pipe down, Dukey," Judy looked at him dully. "You'll be lucky to only get a ticket with how fast you were going. Between this and Rodentia, it's a miracle you haven't gotten anyone killed yet."
At that moment, a slight breeze blew across the two officers, ruffling their fur. Nick sniffed twice, then a curious look passed his face.
"Hold on."
He rounded to the back of the car, and saw a heavily damaged tail light, giving way to a small hole into the trunk. Nick gave a bigger sniff, then his face passed from curiosity to stern steel. He rounded the car and looked at Duke with a sudden lack of humor.
"Pop the trunk," Nick demanded.
"What? Why?" Duke asked.
"Pop it, weasel," Judy agreed, reading Nick's expression.
"Fine, fine!" Duke winced, following the command. Nick peeked back into the trunk and drew his stun gun, dialing down the voltage.
"Come out of the car slowly and get your paws behind your head, Weaselton," Nick said. "You're under arrest."
"What the hell!? For what!?" Duke yelped.
"Do as he says, Weaselton," Judy affirmed, getting out her cuffs and adjusting their clasping size.
"Damnit, you guys are really doing this to me today!?" Duke wailed, slowly getting out of the car and holding his paws up. Judy turned him around and cuffed him.
"Disappointed in you, Duke," Nick said in an acid voice. The two dragged him back to throw him in the cruiser. Duke shot a desperate look back to his car as the two carried him off to get a peek of his trunk. As he did, his face fell and his eyes opened wide.
"Are you kidding me!? What the hell!?" He wailed before the cruiser door shut.
Duke had his fingers laced over his head while he was waiting in the interrogation room. He kept checking the time, his muzzle wearing muted looks of frustration and anger.
Finally, Nick and Judy entered the interrogation room. Curiously, Nick had a more judging look on his face than the bunny. The fox flung a small, tightly-packed baggie of soft pink dust on the table.
"I'm assuming you know what this is."
"Ah, God..." Duke moaned.
"It's hard drugs, isn't it?" Judy looked up casually to Nick.
"Wait, she doesn't know?" Duke looked surprised, then got a sneer. "What, you ain't never seen unicorn dust before?"
"Forgive me, but I'm a bit of a country bunkin," Judy grew a confident grin. "It's what we're busting you for, I know that much."
"You can be so innocent at times," Nick smirked at her, paws behind his back. "How charming."
Judy sucked her teeth, returning his smirk. "I wasn't born yesterday. I'm guessing this stuff is dangerous."
Nick frowned again. "Yeah, quite. It 'enhances' your senses, or tricks your brain into thinking they are. Colors look more vivid, sounds intensify, smells are more heavenly, the whole nine. Personally, I haven't even seen this stuff for a handful of years. Once you take it, you quickly become dependent on it."
"I knew a guy who took it to try watchin' a sunset while on the dust," Duke fumbled with his paws. "Guy said he couldn't watch a 'normal' sunset without feeling disappointed."
"Right, 'a guy'," Nick scoffed, to Duke looking offended. The fox shrugged. "Anyway, it's really dangerous because it's both highly addictive and can lead to massive depression spirals. So, the question is, what were you doing with a trunk full of it?"
"I don't know anything about that!" Duke quickly wailed. "I'm not the kinda weasel to move drugs."
"Riight..." Judy folded her paws, "you say that like it's such a stretch given your rap sheet."
"Hey, I'm an honest crook," Duke pointed to himself with his thumb. "I've stolen, I've bootlegged, but I ain't never moved drugs."
"I'd love to believe you, really," Nick said with a gentle malice, "but there's no way so much unicorn dust could end up in your trunk 'magically', despite the name."
"Tch, I..." Duke's eyes darted around, the scraggly weasel seemingly looking for an excuse.
"Bet that's why he was speeding," Judy shook her head. "Rushing off to a deal, hm?"
"Of course," Nick agreed with a nod, "my rough estimate puts that stash as worth about thirteen grand. Not exactly chump change."
"That's not why I was speeding!" Duke yelled, getting angry.
"Why, then?" Judy twisted her mouth, glaring at him.
"Geh, I..." Duke ran his claws through his head.
After a moment of silence, the answer seemed to come with the sound of vibration. Duke flinched like he'd been shot.
"Is that your phone?" Judy narrowed her eyes. "Set it on the table."
Duke complied, and the number that read on the phone was labeled "Princess."
"Code name for his buyer?" Judy suggested to Nick, to his nod.
"It's a code name for my daughter," Duke balled his fists, feeling helpless.
"Oh yeah?" Nick raised his brow. "Well, answer it, then. On speaker."
Duke let a dejected sound out through his teeth and complied. "...Hello-?"
"Daddy, where the hell are you!?" A stringent female voice came through the other end. "Our performance is about to start!"
"I uh... I don't think I'm gonna make it, hon," Duke squinted his eyes shut. "I got- I got caught in traffic."
"Rrrrrgh! Son of a jill!" The voice wailed. "You said you would come! You PROMISED!"
"I meant it, hon, but-"
"Don't call me 'hon'! You're unbelievable!"
The call abruptly ended.
Duke looked highly deflated, and tiredly moved his eyes to the two. "There, you happy now?"
"Not quite," Judy had an ambiguous look to her. "Were you just trying to sell the stuff at her school auditorium's parking lot or whatever?"
"How little you think of me," Duke sneered, then took a centering sigh. "Here's what happened. I almost forgot about Princess' performance, and I'd just left my car at the shop earlier to get that tail light repaired so I wouldn't get pulled over for it. But I panicked and didn't know how I was gonna get Downtown without my car, so I pulled it back out of the shop before they were done, and then you guys know the rest."
"Okay, nice story, Duke," Nick nodded. "Hopps, let me talk to you outside." Judy nodded as the two stood.
"You guys wanna hold me over an ice pit again?" Duke sneered. "It's the truth."
"As police officers we'd never do something like that," Judy said, almost angelically. "Now, don't go anywhere."
Duke scoffed. "Hilarious."
The two shut the door to the interrogation room.
"Are you thinking what I am, bun?" Nick offered.
"I hope so," Judy nodded. "If he left his car at some sort of seedy detailing place, then someone there could have left the drugs in his trunk. They'd have access to his car."
"Yeah, something like that," Nick agreed. "Maybe they wanted to get heat off of a particular stash, or had stolen it themselves. Duke taking his car back before it was ready would have put a wrench into their plans."
"That is, of course, assuming he's even telling the truth at all," Judy frowned. "Maybe he was just tired of being poor, a petty criminal."
"Always a possibility," Nick nodded. "But I'm pretty familiar with how this guy works. He's not complicated. I think the fact that you and I came up with this explanation before he even jumped onto it makes it more likely."
"Yeah," Judy nodded. "Could be. So what do we do?"
"Pardon me," a dry, male voice came from slightly below them. Nick and Judy turned to see a surprising sight, a middle-aged mammal that looked much like a chinchilla, but his fur seemed solid yellow. He wore a gray brimmed hat and trench coat.
"Mph!" Judy had to stifle a laugh.
"Yes, you might as well get it all out of your system now," the chinchilla's brow fell.
"Oh, I've heard of you," Nick smiled. "You're uh... a detective, right? They call you Detective 25, don't they?"
"Yes, ever since this happened," the detective swept his paws across his yellow fur. "But that's a long story. I was listening to your investigation; I come from a city to the west, Emerald Oaks. There I've been investigating a drug ring that's smuggling unicorn dust eastward, and I'd long suspected the eventual goal was to get their members into Zootopia."
"You think Duke here has something to do with it?" Judy jerked her thumb back to the interrogation room, where Duke looked rather despondent through the one-way window.
"I don't, actually," Detective "25" replied, adjusting his hat. "Your theory sounds quite plausible. If we can get the name of the car detailing shop from your weasel friend here, I can send a couple of undercover agents to check it out. Meanwhile, we should keep the car and the drug supply here and analyze it. The 'brand' of unicorn dust I'm tracking has a particular pink hue, even among other batches. Once I affirm it, and the mammals involved from Emerald Oaks, I'll be able to launch a quick attack and finally bring this investigation to a close."
"That sounds good," Judy nodded. "What should we do with Weaselton in the meantime?"
"We could actually let him go, if you have a good suspicion that he's not connected," the detective mused. "I'd like to see how far the connections of the ring go; if they could track this weasel even without the car they might have used as his stash. We could use his release like a feint. If they move in on his residence, we would need a security detail there to crash down on them like thunder."
"That sounds fun," Judy balled her fists. "I'd like to be a part of the detail, if possible."
"Really?" Nick chuckled.
"Yeah, I've busted Duke enough times, it might be fun to protect him for once," Judy flashed a grin. "That's what we do at the ZPD, anyway. If there's bigger fish to fry than that li'l weasel, I'd love to zap 'em." She clicked one of her claws on the side of her stun gun sidearm.
"You'd have to take it up with your chief, anyway," Detective 25 muttered. "However, it would be interesting to work with the famous Judy Hopps, and finally crush this drug ring with the long iron tail of the law."
"You know it," Judy pumped her fist.
"Without his car, guess that leaves me to drive him home," Nick smirked. "Might as well, I know where he lives anyway." He returned to the interrogation room, where Duke looked up with fatigue in his eyes.
"So you guys gonna throw me in the slammer or what?" He seemed drained. "Might be the safest place to hide from my little girl's rage."
"Nope, we're gonna let you go," Nick flashed a grin. "C'mon, I'll give you a ride back to your place."
Duke's jaw dropped a little, though he didn't quite look relieved.
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Kinda surprisin' you know how to drive," Duke muttered as the fox officer drove him in Judy's large cruiser. "You're always lettin' someone else behind the wheel."
"Shotgun's the ideal way to travel," Nick boasted. "But no, I'm an excellent driver. Unlike you."
The little scraggly weasel looked downright comical in the huge seat meant for mammals many times his size, even compared to Judy. He grumbled for a little while, before breaking the silence between them.
"You don't owe me any favors, Wilde," Duke folded his arms. "So why're you letting me go?"
"Well, I have a strange idea that you're actually telling the truth, Duke, about this whole unicorn dust thing," Nick shrugged his shoulders. "I know you could do with a nice thirteen grand, but I really never did take you for the dealer type, especially because little mammals are so vulnerable to being scammed by their buyers."
"Gee, thanks, I think," Duke rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I'm gonna have the hammer lowered on me from my daughter, so I'm guessing this is some kinda punishment anyway."
"Maybe so," Nick looked coy. "Y'know, if you went fully on the narrow road, we wouldn't have to keep meeting up like this."
"What, like you?" Duke sneered at him. "Shifty little fox who saves the day and becomes a boy in blue? Don't make me laugh. That might be possible for a dashing fox such as yourself, but someone that looks like me?"
Nick stifled a laugh. "What, like they stuck a fork in an electrical socket?"
"Thank you, thanks for that," Duke muttered. "It ain't easy. I got a couple of mouths to feed, and neither of 'em are very grateful..."
Nick pulled in to a trashy-looking suburban subdivision in Savanna Central, and came upon Duke's equally run-down looking house.
"Ah, damnit," Duke muttered. An irritated-looking barely teenage weasel was patrolling the yard.
"That your little girl?" Nick blinked, smiling. "Doesn't look much like you."
"Yeah, lucky her," Duke grunted. Nick escorted him out of the cruiser, to which the teenage weasel scoffed and stormed over to him.
"Typical, just TYPICAL!" She shouted, rushing up to him. "You got picked up by the cops AGAIN, daddy!?"
"Sorry, Sara," Duke looked crestfallen. "I was trying to tell you-"
"Little Ms. Weaselton, I presume?" Nick interrupted. "I'm Officer Wilde."
"The fox cop," Sara Weaselton replied. "The only one. Yeah, I've heard of you."
"Just wanted to tell you why we picked your father up," Nick tipped his police cap.
Duke turned to Nick with dread and horror in his eyes.
"You see, he was speeding, because he'd gotten caught in traffic and was rushing to your performance," Nick explained, wagging his head in a vaguely condescending manner.
"Really?" Sara blinked, a soft look passing over her rather cute face.
"Yeah, my bad," Duke laughed nervously.
"Well, you uh- you should have left earlier," Sara folded her paws, but some of her anger had drained from her voice.
"Yeah, I shoulda," Duke let out a guilty 'heh'. "So uh... how'd ya do?"
"We did great," Sara frowned. "We'll be going to the finals in a week."
"Well, your flute-playin' is second to none," Duke weakly pumped his fist. "I'll be at the finals, I swear."
"You better," Sara pouted, but was starting to betray a smile.
"Yeah, I'm sure I can find some way to arrest you if you disappoint your daughter again," Nick gave the weasel a big grin.
"Alright, ALRIGHT, now would ya leave me be...?" Duke cringed away from the fox.
"Good day," Nick nodded, waving and jumping back into his cruiser. He saw the weasel conversing with his daughter as they made their way back into their house. Nick huffed out a grin. Maybe there was hope for that weasel yet. He saw an unmarked car containing an inconspicuous gray bunny, with another familiar wolf in the car with her. She appeared to wiggle her glasses at him.
"Heh," Nick chuckled before putting the cruiser in gear. "Good luck, Carrots."