At Midnight: The Butler, Perennial

Ciel's eye's were closed, feeling the sensation of floating down a slow-moving canal, but what was moving him didn't feel like water. He felt detached from the world and its uncertainties. Its cruelty he learned at too young an age now suppressed. Wherever he was, this realm was warm and comforting.

"What is this?" He thought as his body drifted away. To where? He did not know. "What was I doing before I came to this place?" He couldn't remember a time when he felt this calm. A feeling so light and airy. "What was I even worried about?" His frail and sickly body that always held him back felt like it was being healed by warm energy that flowed around him.

"I want to feel this way forever…" He tells himself. "But I can't… I know I can't. I have things I need to do… right? What were they?" A slow-growing twinge crept into his chest.

"So much time wasted on being scared all the time. So much time… wasted trying to act strong. Why was I trying so hard... all this time? Never allowing myself to ever once show weakness… Oh yeah..."

"I sold my soul to a devil."

Ciel's mind jolted into the realization that this wasn't real. His body ached as his muscles tensed up. The air around him thickened, betrayed by the warmth he once felt that had now began to smolder until he found it difficult to breathe.

"Sebastian-!?" Ciel cried out.

"That's right. I made a deal with a demon to get revenge." He felt cold now as the warm energy left him. His body was numb and uncomfortable. "Revenge on who? I don't know…"

The young boy opened his eyes and brought a hand to his forehead.

He was now standing in the middle of a dark and circular room. It was an atrium lined with seats.

"I've been here before…" He thinks to himself, feeling disoriented as he looked around. Ciel started to notice more details. He couldn't help but note how clean the room looked. Above he saw the stars that were painted on the walls and ceiling. Below him were lines and symbols painted on the floor. He was starting to remember.

"It's happening again!"

He casts down his eyes to look at his body and touched his clothes. His nightgown was replaced with dirty rags. Every inch of him was covered in a month's worth of filth. His hands were stained, the tips of his fingernails turned black, his feet were cold and bare, frozen to the tiled floor. From head to toe, he was riddled with cuts and bruises.

Before Ciel could defend himself, hands extended out of nowhere and began to grab him at random. The hands seemed like they weren't attached to any bodies, or Ciel was too scared of them to notice any proper details. He didn't look up because he didn't want to face his attackers. To see their masks in the darkness.

"Help me! Someone!" He cried out. Lost in fear, he could not separate himself from the nightmare. "Anyone…!" He couldn't move, as if he was confined by the cold bars of a cage that was more mental than physical.

He heard the faint sound of clicking from a pair of flat-heeled shoes.

"STOP IT!" Ciel yelled as the hands on his shoulders tried to push him down. He strained to remain on his feet and fought back against the hands that were trying to force him to his knees. His arms were pressed tightly against his chest in a defensive pose. Fighting would prove to be futile in the end, he knew. He hated that feeling of helplessness.

The sound of the shoes, clicking on the tiled floor approached closer.

"Are these the ghosts who haunt your dreams, Young Master?" Asked an unexpected voice.

Ciel opened his eyes in shock that he was here, but did not look back. The young Earl did not need to see to know who it was. The sound of the footsteps stopped. Ciel could sense a tall presence looming behind him.

This person always showed up at the end of his nightmares. It was there Ciel relived the moments from the covenant they both made. Sometimes Ciel woke up from his nightmare before he even got to that part. This, however, was completely off script.

The hands that first attacked Ciel and tried to force him down moments ago disappeared into dust when a pair of gloved hands reached out and gently cupped themselves around his tiny shoulders. These hands were different, they were unlike the rest. They emitted an aura that felt familiar and protective. Ciel wasn't scared of them.

Sliding down Ciel's arms, the gloved hands forced the offending hands to disappear into dust on contact. Ciel eased up from his defensive stance and rested his arms at his sides. The gloved hands did not grip on to him or tried to hold him still, they were merely pressed against him. Gently gliding over him as if to just smooth out the wrinkles of his shirt. The white-clad hands stopped halfway as the young Earl regained his composure. When Ciel raised his head as proudly as he could, the rest of the hands that violated him disappeared on their own the more his confidence grew, but the gloved hands that remained could sense the truth. His contractor was trying not to tremble with fear.

"You don't need to fear these ghosts-" Stated a soothing posh voice.

"They can't hurt you anymore." Ciel was alarmed by the change in his savior's tone of voice. Seeped in brimstone and no longer reassuring.

The energy in the room switched without warning. Ciel didn't know what was happening. He didn't feel like he was in control anymore as a heavy dark smoke started to fill up the room, although it had no source. There was no flickering glow of flames to fuel the haze of smoke as far as he could tell. Ciel touched a hand to his head again, recalling the moment he ordered Sebastian to burn everything to the ground but his memories ended there. He couldn't remember the fire itself or him emerging from the burning building, as if the demonic inferno was erased from his mind. The tiled floor became hot to the touch but it was not because of any fire. One by one, dead bodies appeared at his feet. They were the bodies of the cultists. Their warm blood pooled on the floor where the young boy stood, with just as much blood smeared on the walls.

Ciel gasped and threw his hands over his mouth. Even though he truly believed these people- these monsters, who humiliated him deserved to die, the memory of the carnage still scared him. He remembered how he felt when he watched them be dismembered by a demon for the first time. He remembered the way it smelt. The way his nose and throat burned after throwing up. It was too much for him to handle so suddenly, Ciel began to panic and took a few steps back expecting to bump into the owner of the gloved hands but he felt nobody there. Ciel turned around, wanting a reason for their absence. Instead he was faced with a cloud of foreboding darkness, contrasted against the grey pollution of smoke.

The gloved hands were gone.

"Seb… Sebast-!" Ciel tried to call out but froze.

The obscure dark cloud started to morph. It seemed to have grown wider as parts of it stretched out to the sides with a soft whooshing noise. The way its appendages moved resembled that of bird wings. Ciel threw his arms up but was once again helpless as the cloud folded around him, encasing him in darkness.

He couldn't see anything, he couldn't feel anything. He was in a space that felt like an empty void.

"Where am I?" Ciel questioned nervously. He glanced around frantically. Desperately trying to find a way to escape. Ciel had no sense of direction nor could he tell where this space started and where it ended. It was just nothingness.

"What am I supposed to do now!?" Ciel cried out as if the void was going to give a reply.

Suddenly, he saw what seemed like a fissure that had been cut through the darkness, like a wound that was bleeding light. Ciel immediately started running towards the strange anomaly. The opening was a thin slit, however, the light radiating from it was strong. Ciel had no reference point to figure out its scale. He worried he might not be able to fit but the opening grew larger in size as he got closer. He then knew he was going to make it out. He forced himself past the opening. Remarkably, the edges of the darkness were easily manipulated. It felt like opening curtains.

Ciel paused mid-run and panted heavily, even though he did not feel tired from any physical exhaustion.

He was now standing in a strangely lit room. The walls were lined with large glass windows that reached up to the ceiling. The large windows were supported by a strong stone foundation. The light in the room felt unnatural, almost artificial but bright enough to still strain his eyes. When his eyes finally adjusted he noticed this new space was filled with colour. Green leaves splashed against grey stone. Gardens arranged before him and speckled with red, blue and yellow flowers. This place resembled his favourite part of the entire manor. The greenhouse.

"My Young Lord! Welcome!" An irritatingly cheerful voice spoke out. "It took you a spell, but I'm glad to see you've finally arrived."

Ciel turned around to see his butler who was dressed in his usual black attire and signature coattails. A grin tilted the corners of Sebastian's mouth. Ciel didn't question what he was so happy about. He would expect his butler to say "It's the duty of a butler to greet his Master with a smile." or something to that effect.

Sebastian stood there with a hand obediently on his chest, smiling happily, all while his Master felt like hell and must look something dreadful.

Ciel looked down at his clothes. He was no longer wearing rags, but instead, a light cream coloured two-piece suit with a simple waistcoat that buttoned up asymmetrically and matching shorts hemmed just above the knees. The jacket was lined with a notched lapel and sleeve cuffs coloured a dark chocolate brown. Ciel smoothed out the suit with his hands as he examined the entire ensemble. The outfit was completed with frivolous accessories such as a thin black ribbon tied around the collar of a white dress shirt, black socks, dark brown gloves, and thick heeled shoes.

"I hope everything is to your liking. I didn't have much time to put everything together." Sebastian continued in the same upbeat tone. He gestured around with the palm of his gloved hand facing up. "However this is your dream, after all, feel free to make any necessary changes."

Something about what Sebastian said just didn't sit well with him. What did his butler mean by him putting all this together?

Although, the real Sebastian would say something like that because of his 'aesthetics'. Sebastian could build Rome in a day but refer to it as just small village, as if it his inhuman accomplishments were no big deal, to feed his ego. Either way, Ciel was thankful to not be in that atrium anymore, and covered with dirt.

Ciel chose to ignore this dream version of Sebastian and his nonsense by walking over to one of the large windows. What he saw when he peered out the plate of glass confirmed he was still in a dream. From inside the real greenhouse, you could see parts of the manor that stood adjacent to the glass enclosure, and a verdant courtyard that stretched across the property, filled with lush greenery and fragrant gardens. Trimmed bushes outlined the pathways that ran alongside a smooth manicured lawn, only if there was any greenery left behind by his novice gardener. If the sun is out on a clear day, Ciel could gaze upon the rolling English countryside in the distance.

All he saw from this artificial greenhouse was a white expanse that was the source of this unnatural light. He could see no visible horizon line, not unlike the dark void he just escaped from. Ciel touched the glass. Does it go on forever? If he stepped outside would he just fall into nothingness?

His butler broke the silence again. "Forgive me, I would offer you tea and cakes, but it would only be for luxury. You wouldn't actually be able to taste anything." Sebastian tilted his head with embarrassment as the circular tea table that stood behind him was empty of any refreshments.

"That's fine." Ciel finally replied, unconcerned with the lack of formality. He turned and looked past his butler as his eyes continued to explore their surroundings.

The details within the greenhouse were filled with the usual arrangements. Thick green vines scaled up the walls spotted by purple flowers with long pointed petals. Archways were covered in punchy coloured orange flowers that resembled trumpets. Massive terracotta pots, taller than even him, were kept for larger and more elaborate outdoor flower displays during the warmer months. A section of the greenhouse was reserved for special bushes. Ciel recognized them as berry bushes. They provided fresh fruits that were used in his favourite sweets and parfaits.

The centerpiece of the entire room was an assortment of different types of tall palm trees. The trees sprouted out from the heart of the greenhouse and filled in the space that was provided by a large dome in the ceiling. Plants that could never survive outside their container that is the greenhouse. The climate in England was much too harsh for them, but what really caught the young boy's eyes was what stood in front of the exotic fauna.

He saw a wall of his favourite white roses intertwined with a tall lattice fence. The young Earl paid no mind to the pair of scarlet eyes that were fixated on him as he walked over to the wall of climbing roses. The only audible sound in the room was the clicking of his heals.

The roses where impressively large and in full bloom, the entire display towered over his short frame. Each rose looked in immaculate condition. Ciel ran his gloved hand over the wall of roses, feeling them as they are pulled against the momentum of his hand only to spring back into position once the force that moved them had past. He stopped at a rose he saw out of the bunch and cupped it in his hands. He didn't choose this one for any particular reason, just holding one in his hands gave him comfort. Ciel removed his gloves and tried to feel the petals with his thumbs, but couldn't actually feel them. His fingers only remembered what they should feel like. Velvety soft with a cool fresh temperature that came from a living plant.

The sound of flat-heeled shoes echoed in his ears again as the one who wore them stepped closer. His butler swiftly joined his Master's side like a tall shadow.

"Are you ok, Young Master?" Sebastian asked, his voice was more subdued this time.

"Yes" Ciel answered, but didn't look up from his flower. He didn't want to give an honest answer. He wasn't sure he should, but what could be the harm? It was just the two of them. Him, and an imaginary Sebastian.

The butler could tell that his Master wasn't being honest. He peered down and observed as Ciel handled the rose with his bare hands. He noticed how his Master was being careful not to touch the thorns instinctively.

Sebastian knelt down on one knee and plucked a rose at random from the lattice wall of white roses. The stem of the rose was barbed with large thorns that were in proportion with the size of the hefty flower. Sebastian held his rose by pinching the base beneath the pedals and propped up the stem with the palm of his other hand.

"Dreams can manifest themselves in cruel ways. Sometimes as expressions of one's desires that are not achievable…" Sebastian said. "…or one's deepest fears. I'm sure you're already aware."

"I'm fully aware and I hate it," Ciel admitted through gritted teeth. "I hate feeling so weak." Ciel turned to look at his butler whose eyes looked back at him with a serious facial expression. His cheeky grin had long since disappeared.

"Ah. Is that your fear? In the waking world, you have me as your sword and your shield to fall back on but in the dream world… you have more power here then you realize." Sebastian said. He brought the rose up to eye level and presented it to his Master. In full view, so Ciel could witness him closing his palm around the stem and squeezed it tightly.

Ciel leaned forward with curiosity. He knew this demon can't be wounded by any mortal weapons so a rose stem shouldn't affect him at all. Even if the thorns didn't penetrate his skin he at least expected his gloves to be punctured with a few holes left behind from the absurdly large thorns. When Sebastian released his hand the white gloves he wore remained intact and the skin underneath unharmed.

"When everything isn't real, nothing can hurt you," Sebastian said as he handed the rose over to his Young Master.

Ciel took the rose and handled it gently, intimated by the thorns but was unimpressed by this demonstration. "I wouldn't expect some messily thorns to hurt you anyway, dream or not."

"That is true. I was just showing you how it is in a dream. You can do so as well, and will get the same results." Sebastian stood up. "You might not be able to control what you dream about but you have control over what is allowed to harm you."

"How?" Ciel asked as he poked at the thorns. "It's the same every night and I'm helpless to stop it."

Sebastian's ruby eyes stared intently into Ciel's eyes, one deep blue and the other marked with purple. "The subconscious mind can be easily influenced. If you think that you are weak and helpless, deep down you start to truly believe that are weak, small and helpless." Sebastian explained with a smirk.

"I never said 'small'!" Ciel replied irritably. His mismatched eyes staring daggers at his butler.

"Let me give you an example," Sebastian continued with a chuckle. "I'm going to tell you to not to think about, say… a cat, with long luxurious black fur and eyes that shine like amber." The butler signed at the idea of such a beauty. "Maybe white paws and a little diamond on the nose…"

"I don't understand- Wha!?" Ciel shouted as a cat's head popped out from the wall of white rose. He jumped away from this new feline intruder. What he truly feared was the angry wrath of his allergies.

"Awe, Young Master, is she for me?" Sebastian asked as he tenderly picked up the cat. "Surely I can keep this one. After all, allergies don't exist in dreams." He stood up and allowed the cat to nestle into his arms.

"Did I…?" Ciel wondered while watching the cat cradled in his butler's arms. The cat didn't look quite like how Sebastian described because Ciel didn't think highly of cats. This one was thin with short shiny black fur and light yellow eyes. No white spots, but Sebastian loved it regardless of how it looked.

"Yes, I made you think of this little lady by telling you not to think about her. When people try to suppress their thoughts, they end up thinking about them even more afterward." Sebastian explained as he started to gently squeeze the cat's paw pads. "Ah… so soft."

"Did you trick me into imagining a cat for you?" Ciel asked with suspicion.

"Not at all. I was purely demonstrating how the mind is easily deceived, however, if you were to think up about a dozen more cats or so, I'd be more than grateful." Sebastian said with a cat-like-grin. By now the cat Sebastian was holding had enough of him playing with her paws and jumped from his arms. Even in a dream, he is spurned by the creatures he loved so dearly.

"No. No more cats." Ciel said slightly annoyed, thinking he should summon up a couple of dogs instead.

"Very well. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is you are distancing yourself too much. Your social obligations as an Earl aside you really should try opening up to people more instead of distracting yourself with work all the time. It's not good for your health if you continue to remain cooped up in your study." Sebastian stated in an instructional tone that causes Ciel to roll his eyes. "The further you suppress such toxic feelings the further they'll fester inside your head-."

"I can't afford to show that side of myself," Ciel interjected. He absentmindedly fidgeted with the silver ring on his thumb. A ring bejeweled with a large sapphire that he inherited, symbolizing him as the Earl of Phantomhive. "That's not something I can allow myself to do…"

"Indeed," Sebastian said, remembering his Master's position. It was more than just stubbornness or the fear of looking like a child who needed to be pitied. His Master had secrets that needed to be kept buried deep down. Sebastian resigned, accepting that this issue could not be solved over one night.

"Then don't beat down on yourself, Young Master." The butler said in an upbeat and motivational way. Sebastian muttered under his breath "Believe that you are stronger, or taller…"

"Hmm." Ciel sighed. "I suppose I could take more time off…"

"That's a start!" Sebastian said with a clap of his hands. "Now let's have some fun." The butler twirled around and sat down on a nearby stone bench with his legs crossed arrogantly. Normally a butler never sits in the presence of his Master. Did he consider this his off hours? Where he got to choose to be a butler when he felt like it?

"This is your dream, you have complete control here. What would you like to do? We could recreate a mystery to solve from one of your favourite books! Hmm, no. That's you're normal everyday as the Queen's watchdog. Perhaps you could imagine yourself as a pirate sailing the high seas, you just need your eye patch. What shall it be, Young Master?"

"This is fine," Ciel said as he tried the trick Sebastian showed him with the rose that was still in his hand. He closed his hand around the stem then opened it to see that there was no damage from the large thorns. He couldn't feel any pain. "I want to stay right here."

"Or we could just stay here." Sebastian repeated, echoing Ciel's words with a sigh and a hand on his chin. "Shame, I very much wanted to see the imagination of someone who runs a toy empire in action. How disappointing…"

"That's it! I've had enough of you!" The young Earl exploded. His butler's words grated on his last nerve. "What is this!? What is going on here? I've never had such a vivid dream about my butler before! Ever!"

Sebastian leaned back in his seat with a hand on his chest pretending to be insulted. "Aw, you don't dream about me?" He teased.

"An- and! Even if I did, I couldn't possibly imagine you to be ANYMORE annoying then the real Sebastian!" Ciel yelled. He then paused with sudden realization. What Sebastian said before made sense now. There was a reason why his presence felt so out of place here.

"I didn't have much time to put everything together." He was right to be suspicious of his butler's words from the very beginning. The gloved hands, the dark cloud… this room he's never dreamed of before.

"You… you're real aren't you? You're the real Sebastian…!" Ciel said as he tensed up, hoping he was wrong.

A smirk grew on Sebastian's face as he uttered, "Opps."