The cubs scampered and rolled in the grass outside the house squealing and laughing as they chased each other before Atarau pounced and bounded after them. Vegeta smiled seeing them acting their age. Seeing Kome and Tarble running about carefree with Seba and Tasik wasn't as normal a sight but they all enjoyed it. Kakarot was under a tree with the twins relaxing in the shade but keeping a watchful eye on all of them while he played with Rahi and Amara. His eyes immediately went to the guards he could see around the perimeter of the private garden walled in with tall hedges for privacy.
Thyn had been a godsend. The second class had only taken Kakarot to the council chambers because he had no choice. He immediately offered himself to Vegeta for punishment after everything and surprisingly it was Seba that changed the prince's mind. The little cub and Tasik went right up to him and were even playing with the older alpha within minutes. Thyn had come from a large family with several younger siblings of which he was the oldest and mated with his own young cub and beta mate. Kakarot was actually comfortable around him. In light of that, Vegeta immediately had Thyn reassigned to his direct command and to serve as one of Kakarot's personal guards. Thyn was also the one to propose finding females and older alphas to join him guarding the new royal family. Two of their recruits were the sisters Kelfa and Caulifla. Both were rather brash and aggressive but they also had experience in being gentle due to their younger sister Kale. The third sister ended up becoming Chorri's assistant and was very good with all the cubs. Bardock finished out the initial squad with a few of the older alpha's that weren't fit for active field duty due to age. Specifically because most of them were more than experienced with the effects of rusak'man and how to help those suffering from it. Rega and Seng being the oldest of the bunch and each had a family member who suffered from the disability and were comfortable with all the young cubs.
"Vegeta, he's here." Yasi said softly. Turning away from his family with a soft smile he joined his parents, Bardock and Raditz in the living room.
"Paragus." He greeted with a nod as he sat down. The older saiyan was perhaps the best therapist on the planet and he was the only willing to take on Kakarot's case. They hadn't wanted to force the beta to see someone he wasn't comfortable with but in the end their options were limited. Several therapists had gone as far to say there was no hope for the beta to even come close to recovering. They couldn't be angry though given there wasn't a case of rusak'man as severe as Kakarot's documented in the last 50 years.
"Your highness." The older saiyan bowed his head in respect before taking a seat once Vegeta had done so. "I've come to deliver the reports on your adopted cubs after their first sessions before I meet with Kakarot."
"How did they do?" The prince asked with concern in his voice. The other alpha just gave him a reassuring smile before he started with the report on Seba.
Flashback
Paragus watched as Seba colored the room's wall for a few minutes before walking in the room. His arrival made the cub freeze what he was doing and shrink back against the wall some, but the man just ignored the child for the moment.
He took a seat near a child sized table and started to color a picture of a cat. He could see Seba in the corner of his good eye watching him with a mixture of curiosity and skittishness. The alpha knew that a cub like Seba would have to come to him and not the other way around, or he'd never trust Paragus enough to talk.
Besides, he liked coloring on occasion himself. It was very relaxing.
Seba was wondering why this big man was just coloring a picture. Normally when he was placed in a white room like this one, the person that came in would stick sharp things in his arm and take his blood. They would also try and get him to talk, but the boy would always just look at them like he couldn't understand them. He didn't like it. And he didn't know what to do in this room. There were lots of toys but it was a white room.
And now this grownup was just…ignoring him. It made the cub more confused, but he slowly relaxed the longer Paragus remained at the table. It wasn't long until his attention started to wonder with the lack of action on the alpha's part.
Seba's eyes scanned the room once more and noticed a corner that had plush toys in a box on the other side of the room. He missed those in his quest to get rid of the white in the room, and now his fingers were almost itching to touch those toys. The only issue was that the adult was between him and them.
He glanced up at Paragus as he slowly moved closer to the toy box. He froze as the man moved to get another color before slowly creeping passed him. As soon as he was on the man's other side, he scampered straight for the box with a soft trill.
The boy pawed through them with a smile before he grabbed a stuffed black cat and hugged it tight to his chest with a purr. He rubbed his cheek against the soft fur before spinning to face the adult who had started to laugh over his actions.
"I see you like cats." His voice was deep, but it sounded friendly. Seba shifted a bit further but nodded in response, his tail twitching showing his discomfort. "Well, maybe you can help me with my picture."
The man held up the sheet of paper he was coloring on to show an incomplete filled in picture of a cat. The eyes were yellow and the inside of the ears had been filled out a soft pink, but the main fur color was still not done. The boy tilted his head to the side.
"I can't pick what color to make him." Paragus looked annoyed at the cat on his paper before looking back at the boy. "What color do you think I should use?"
Seba looked at the floor anxiously not sure what the right answer was. He didn't know who this person was but Alpha said this was a good person that wanted to be his friend. Hesitantly without letting go of his new kitty he crept to the table but still out of Paragus's reach before he rummaged through the box of colors. He found a pale purplish blue that reminded him of Chorri and held it up questioningly.
"I think that will do nicely." Paragus said with a smile. "Would you like to color too? I think there are some other cat pictures here." Seba immediately perked up as the adult spread out some pages.
"Atarau!" The cub chirped with a smile when he saw a picture of a night puma. Seba immediately dug into the color box to find a silvery gray so he could make his picture look like his friend.
They sat coloring for a little while and Paragus noticed a few things. Seba was coloring everything even the margins and the background. None of his color choices matched anything in nature on Vegetasei either, unsurprising since the cub had little to no exposure to the outside until recently. And he did not use black either.
"We can get you another picture if you want." He offered as he watched Seba scribble on the edges of the page and onto the table as he tried to fill every bit of space.
"Not done." Seba muttered softly, his tongue peeking from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. "Still white."
"Ah." He said as if that made perfect sense. "Do you not like white?"
"Un uh. Bad place was white." Seba said as he focused. "White rooms where they would stick me with sharp things."
Flashback End
"Seba is much more well adjusted than I would expect from a cub in his situation. He is very timid but I think with time and exposure to more 'normal' environments he'll have few if any issues as he gets older. I do not see him joining the military voluntarily. He doesn't like confrontation and from my observations lacks any aggression, preferring to avoid individuals that he fears rather than try to seem more threatening." Paragus explained as he looked over his notes. "He's not comfortable in medical settings and associates the color white with them. He was coloring the wall when I entered the playroom and after getting him to color on some pictures for me he proceeded to fill in every scrap of white even if the object in question is normally white."
The adults shared a look. It was better than they were expecting. Seba was a bit more 'normal' than Kome.
"What about Kome?" Bardock asked.
"Kome is doing quite well." Paragus explained quietly. "He's surpassing all my expectations actually." He said before handing Vegeta a file.
Flashback
Kome glared at him not touching the puzzle in front of him.
"Would you rather do a different puzzle Kome? Or something different?" Paragus asked.
"I know what you're doing." The cub said with a glare. The older saiyan raised an eyebrow.
"And what am I doing exactly."
"You're testing us." He said unflinchingly, distrust obvious in his gaze.
"Does that bother you?" Paragus asked.
"Not stupid." Kome growled with his fangs out. "Doctors did that at bad place. Tama said they'd do bad things if they knew."
"I never thought you weren't smart Kome." The older saiyan said gently. "I read the report by your current tutor and what your family has told me. You are an exceptionally smart young man kome. I want to see just how smart so we can tell Vegeta and your Tama."
The cub looked up at Paragus with an interested expression. He wanted to know too. His tama always said that he was really smart, but neither of them could know just how much while they were in the Bad Place.
"How can you tell?" His posture relaxed some, but Kome still watched the alpha, not fully trusting him.
"Just solve a few of these puzzles for me. They will get harder as you go until you can't solve one. That will show us how smart you are." Paragus was surprised at just how much Kome seemed to be looking forward to the testing.
"What about Seba?" Kome asked as he picked up a cube that had different colors on it and started to turn it over in his hands. "Did you ask him to solve these?"
"Yes, and Seba did a good job for a cub his age. I have no doubt that you helped him."
"Mm…" The young alpha nodded as he touched the sides of the cube to keep up with the changing patterns. "Tama couldn't do it, but I knew how to keep Seba safe."
"You did a very good job, Kome." Paragus said in agreement. "You and your brother can do combat sign better than any veteran that I've ever seen. Both of you are very clever."
"Tama taught me. I taught Seba." Kome put the cube that was now glowing with a blueish color in all sides now, and the older man just looked in amazement. That puzzle should have taken him longer to solve.
"Can I have another one?"
Flashback End
The prince opened it and his eyebrows rose as he read the pages
"This is accurate?"
"I checked myself twice. Kome is quite literally a genius. His scores surpassed those of Bardock and even Turles after the academy."
"But those were unofficial tests and we received perfect scores." Bardock explained more curious than offended.
"They were still on file for me to check. If you'll look at the last section you'll see what I mean by surpassing you." Curious they all turned to the back.
"That's a cipher, from one of the Cold Worlds. We intercepted it months ago." Bardock said confused.
"Yes, when I asked for a cipher apparently the head of that department was quite irritated and thought it would be amusing to give us that one. Kome had started looking at it before I realized there was no known way to crack it. Kome to my shock did." Bardock immediately grabbed file and flipped to the next page. There in the block lettering of his grandson's handwriting was the cipher. Not only had he written out how to use it but had translated it.
"And he just solved it?" Vegeta asked in shock.
"He asked for another puzzle like it. Kome though it was by far the most interesting puzzle I gave him." Paragus said with a small smile. "Unfortunately Kome has some more serious issues than Seba. He does not trust men, more specifically alphas. You and Bardock are exceptions due to your relations to Kakarot but anyone else and he becomes more wary or even hostile. In the first part of our meeting he immediately suspected I was up to something immediately thinking I was there to belittle or hurt him. With his observations of everything he witnessed Kakarot go through and the only person to care about him, Seba and Kakarot being Chorri for so long I can understand the reason for his feelings. Before Vegeta's appearance he's never had a positive alpha figure in his life. Given his alpha presentation I believe he's suffering his own more mild form of rusak'man."
"Kome too!?" Yasi said in shock not understanding how a child could suffer battle mind of all things.
"That is my theory but I feel his case has more to do with never learning to control his instincts opposed to giving into them over and over like Kakarot. Kome reacts to violence in the manner he's seen. Kakarot was hurt or lashed out to protect the cubs and Kome emulated that behavior when no alternative presented itself. I anticipate he will have separation issues when Seba is older, as he acts more like a parent than a brother. Even during my meeting he asked about Seba and what I did when with him. Not unexpected with everything I've been told about their situation but something to keep an eye on in the future."
"We will be sure to do that." Vegeta said as he ran a hand over his face. He had a feeling that Kome would have issues adjusting just like Kakarot, but he wasn't looking forward to when the boy went through his separation anxiety. He'd seen enough that one time in the cells.
"Now, has there been anything that has happened with Kakarot since the last time we spoke?" Paragus brought the prince's attention back to the present.
"Actually, yes." Bardock sighed as he glanced outside to take a brief look at his youngest. "I thought I could ask him some questions about his assignment while he was recovering from the birth. Nothing to difficult or invasive, but I thought the scent of his and Vegeta's nest would keep him calm while we talked, but it didn't turn out that way."
Flashback
Bardock sat down beside Kakarot in the beta's nest. He thought it would help keep the younger saiyan calm when he started asking questions. He remembered that Vegeta said that when he tried to ask before, Kakarot didn't respond well. The general hoped that now that things had settled for the most part, His youngest would feel more comfortable and would be able to fill in some of the holes.
"How are you feeling, kyuata?" He asked while brushing some of the unruly spikes away from the submissive's face only to fight back laughter at the pout on his face.
"…want out of nest." He huffed. "Geta and Chorri won't let me out."
"I know, but its for the best cub. We just want to make sure you're recovered." The alpha gave a small smile. Chorri had practically demanded that Kakarot stay on bed rest for another month to make sure his body was fully recovered from the premature labor, but his cub hated being confined like this.
"Teti….I'm fine. Tell them." The beta almost whined out. The look on his face and his tone made Bardock laugh.
"Maybe tomorrow. For right now, I was wondering if you could answer some of Teti's questions. Think you can do that?" The older man steeled himself as he saw the leery but curious look on Kakarot's face.
"What….questions?" The beta hesitantly asked as he shifted closer to his father.
"Just a few but they might be hard. Are you alright with trying?" Bardock gently ran a hand through those spikes. "I can wait if you want me to."
"No…" Kakarot firmly stated while looking up at the alpha with determined eyes. "I….I'll try."
"Good…." The general sighed out as he tried to calm himself. He pulled out a recorder and hit record so that he could write the notes later. "Good. Ok. Do you remember what your mission was?"
Bardock hoped that was an easy question to start with so he could ease his son into the harder ones later on.
"Ye….yes." The submissive scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brow in thought. "Went to…break?...a building that let...ships...talk to ships…" he said struggling to find the right words.
"A mission to destroy a communication relay?" Bardock lifted a brow as Kakarot mumbled an agreement, and he narrowed his eyes in thought. Something like that would have been an easy assignment for a single saiyan, relatively speaking. There wouldn't be too much resistance for Kakarot to take out provided it wasn't a bunker or staffed with heavy hitters. Given that the world in question had been on the fringes of the CZ it should have been possible.
"What happened after you got there?" Kakarot let out a whine, but Bardock just scratched at scalp to help relax him.
"Went out of ship…to look for building. Got to…trees and was…hurt." A far off look glazed the younger saiyan's eyes over. "Tried to fight back…used orb…but B-bad One got…got rid of it...too many….had to run."
"They ambushed you right away, and you went oozaru. Someone destroyed your orb, and you had to retreat." The alpha said more to help translate than anything. His son nodded.
"Rushed into…trees?" Kakarot asked in a confused manner as his eyes clenched and he pressed the heel of his palm into his forehead trying to focus. "Yes…trees not walls…started to lay…traps."
"What about your pod?" Bardock could tell he was starting to lose Kakarot to his memories but he needed as much information as he could get.
"Bad One…Z-Zarbon…blew it up. Tried to go back…and make something?...something to call help...not get there, too many..." Kakarot whimpered as he clutched his head with one hand. "Ran through…trees…hear traps for...days?…Bad One hurt me...hunted me...Holes in ground…holes with spikes?...no…not spikes...shoulder and leg…burning."
"How did they not know who you were?" This was something he had to know.
"Dirty...called me dirty, so I stayed dirty...couldn't find out, not let them know...burnt tags." Kakarot reached up with his free hand to feel around his neck, but he grew alarmed and sucked in a panicked breath when he couldn't find what he was looking for. He started to frantically look around and almost claw at his neck as he felt for his tags.
"Kakarot! Kyuata!"
"Not here...where...where are..." Bardock firmly grabbed his son's hand to stop his frantic pawing and gently shook him. Panicked eyes looked into his a moment later.
"It's ok. They don't know who you are. It's ok cub." Bardock said softly as he got Kakarot to calm down. "You're safe son."
"Safe?...Safe..." Kakarot nodded more to himself as a hand tangled in his hair again while he muttered to himself as though reminding himself. "Geta safe, Teti safe. Bad one gone. Safe...home safe..."
"That's right. You're safe." Bardock said. "Kakarot can you tell me one more thing?"
"More?"
"Can you tell me who gave you your assignment?"
"Who?" The bets said with the far off look coming back to his eyes.
"Who sent you on your mission?" Bardock urged softly hoping a different phrasing would help Kakarot. He didn't expect Kakarot to whimper and clutch his head with both hands. His body began to tremble and his breathing quickened.
"Can't..." he shook his head as he clenched his eyes shut, a look of pain on his face.
"Try, it's important Kakarot. Please, anything you remember."
"I...I...I c-can't..." he whimpered as he finally broke down. "Can't...C-can't-" Bardock cut the recorder off and pulled his cub into his arms, tucking the beta's head under his chin.
"Shhh, it's ok." He soothed. "It's ok if you don't remember. We're done, and you did very well for me kyuata. It's ok."
Flashback End
"He couldn't even speak he was so upset." Bardock said looking at the floor.
"I'm not surprised." Paragus responded. "Kakarot has one of the most severe cases of rusak'man I've ever seen. The fact he has coherent moments at all is nothing short of a miracle."
"But can he get better?" Yasi asked.
"If Kakarot wants to. His recovery is directly linked to how much he wants it. Even then he's always going to struggle with it. He will have bad spells and relapses in the future. It's not just the rusak'man Kakarot is dealing with. Right now he has a very unhealthy attachment to all of you. Particularly Vegeta and the cubs."
"What's unhealthy about loving your children?" Vegeta growled lowly.
"The fact that he can not trust anyone else around them. The constant need to know where they are and make sure they are not being taken from him. It's not wrong to worry and be protective of your cubs but Kakarot takes it to an extreme that's unhealthy and can be detrimental to him and the cubs in the future. On top of that Kakarot has been severely depressed for years and taken so much of a mental and emotional beating he has absolutely no self worth or self esteem. From the reports I've read he clearly lost the will to live at one point."
"We know he provoked Zarbon into nearly killing him." Bardock answered.
"This is deeper, although that certainly played into things. No Kakarot only kept going all this time because of his children. In the records following that injury Kakarot became listless. He stopped eating and moving. From my discussions with Chorri they were forcing fluids and nutrients into him intravenously to keep him alive and it wasn't working. He only snapped out of his depression after he became pregnant the first time. Unfortunately the damage was done and he was both young and very weak resulting in him losing the cub barely 2 months in." No one wanted to think about how devastated Kakarot would have been over that.
"I'll go get Kakarot." Vegeta spoke up after a minute of silence. Learning things about his mate like this was taking its toll on the young alpha and he needed a minute to himself.
"Poor Vege…" Yasi watched his son's back sadly. "He's holding up quite well, but this is hard on him, all of us really. He tries so hard to keep Kakarot from knowing when he's upset and being strong for him."
"If he wishes, I'll offer my services to him as well." Paragus said. "He might not have been captured as long as Kakarot, but he'll need to talk to someone as well. And helping someone as wounded as Kakarot is not easy. If you are not comfortable with speaking to me I can recomend a few colleagues who specialize in support therapy."
"Thank you, Doctor." The Royal consort smiled with relief. "I'll let him know when he feels he needs it. That cub it so stubborn at times that he needs to figure things out in his own."
"All alphas are like that." Paragus chuckled. "My son was among the most stubborn. I thought I'd have to restrain him to do some of the exercises I gave him." The group chuckled at the image of Paragus sitting on his bigger son as Vegeta brought his mate into the room.
The alpha gently kissed Kakarot on the forehead after he got the little beta settled on the couch while the others stood and went outside giving the beta reassuring looks.
"I'll be just outside with the cubs if you need me." Kakarot's tail coiled anxiously when the alpha stepped out leaving them alone.
"Kakarot, do you know why I'm here? What my job is?" Paragus asked after a few moments. Kakarot stared at the floor not really wanting to meet the older male's gaze.
"To fix me..."
"That's not exactly right."
"You're a...doctor..." he stumbled over the word. "You try to fix...broken things..." Kakarot said unable to not gesture to himself. He knew he was broken beyond repair, they didn't have to remind him of that. Paragus was going to realize that just like the others did and leave. His only regret was that it upset his family every time.
"Yes I'm a doctor, but I help people heal and get better." Paragus explained. "I can't fix you, because you're not broken Kakarot."
That made the beta's head jerk up in shock. He couldn't believe what Paragus said, but as he looked at the older man, he neither saw or scented deceit.
"Not…broken?"
"No," Paragus said with a sad smile. It hurt to see someone as young as Kakarot looking like that. "Not you're broken at all. You've just been hurt very badly and need to heal. I can help you heal, but only if you want to get better."
"You…help?" The smaller male asked in a slightly trembling voice. "How?"
"I will not lie, Kakarot. It will take a lot of work. This will be a long and very hard journey, but you can do this if you really want to get better." The alpha knew he had to be upfront with this fragile submissive. If he wasn't, he could do more harm and that could damage Kakarot beyond help.
"Like what?" The question was hesitant, but the older man knew he had to answer in order to gain the other's trust.
"We will have to go over what happened to you in the…bad place." He was quick to add on once he saw how rigid the beta went. "You need to talk to someone about what happened to help deal with it and hopefully move past it."
"Don't…want others know…cubs can't know." Kakarot whined in his throat as he trembled slightly. He didn't want to see the looks they'd give him. He had seen it all pity, disgust, glee...he didn't want to know what looks his family would have.
"Then I won't tell them. I'll only give them the smallest amount of details about what happened if I need to tell them anything, but if you don't want them to know, I can keep it between us. I promise that this will help, Kakarot. Keeping everything inside will only hurt you more the longer you do."
Kakarot slowly lowered his head as he thought. He felt nervous about the things Paragus was talking about, but he did want to get better. Deep down inside he felt Toa give him a nudge in his mind and felt encouragement from his other half. This was a good thing.
"So tell me, Kakarot. Do you want to get better?"
After thinking hard for a few more minutes, the beta looked back up at Paragus with a determination burning in his eyes.
"Ye…yes. I want to be…better mate for…Geta. I want…to get better."
Paragus' face broke out into a full grin at those words and the fire in Kakarot's eyes. The first step was taken, now they just needed to take the rest.
"There's one more thing for today's meeting Kakarot. I think we need to talk about your relationship with your cubs first." The older man chewed on his lower lip as he thought how to discuss this without the beta taking his meaning in the wrong way.
"What about…cubs?" His tone turned slightly hostile at the mention of his sons and daughter.
"You are too protective of them. You will not let anyone who isn't you, the prince, Chorri, or the rest of your family touch them without watching them. I know you and your older cubs have been through a lot, but you don't have to watch them every second of the day. You need some time away from your cubs, and they will need time away from you too." He kept his tone gentle as he spoke, but Paragus wanted to make sure the younger male understood what he was saying.
"Take cubs…away?" Paragus heard the dangerous tone in Kakarot's words and forced himself to stay relaxed. Showing outward signs of panic would only make Kakarot more hostile as he would assume Paragus was anxious about being caught and not worried about provoking the beta.
"No, not take them away." He firmly said as he looked in the submissive's eyes. "I'm talking about having a nurse or a nanny, someone other than your family and Chorri, just taking care of them for a couple of hours. Letting people help you so you can take care of yourself and your eventual duties without worrying."
"Why can't…keep cubs all time?" Kakarot frowned but his hostility didn't increase.
"There will be times when you and the prince can't have the cubs with you. Like state dinners, council meetings, the battle field-."
"No battle." Kakarot almost snapped out before he seemed exhausted. Paragus noticed the slight tremor in Kakarot's hands. "Don't want….fight anymore...tired...no more..."
He had dreaded telling anyone that. He was a saiyan. Saiyans fought. It was simply how things were. He didn't want to go back to killing. He didn't want to leave his home, hear other soldiers say he was weak, didn't want Frieza's men to find him.
"Then you won't fight any more." Paragus said softly cutting through the emotional storm in the beta's mind, his inner turmoil was plain as day on his face. This Paragus could handle and had handled in numerous other saiyans over the years. "Kakarot, just because you're a saiyan doesn't mean you have to fight. There are plenty of us that never leave the planet for our jobs." Surprise seemed to draw Kakarot from his depression.
"...really...not fight..?."
"I'm a doctor. I spend too much time helping my patients to go running about and fighting." His hand gestured to his scarred eye. "And after this when I was much younger I realized I didn't want to fight any more either. Instead I used what I knew and became a doctor to help individuals like myself, like you, and like my son."
"Son? Cub?" Kakarot asked curiously. This man had a cub. Paragus chuckled figuring that would get Kakarot's attention.
"My son is a bit older than your father. His name is Broly."
"Broly..." he knew that name. The beta rubbed at his forehead trying to concentrate. "Broly...he su...super..."
"That's right. Broly struggled with his one problems when he ascended to super. His mind and body weren't initially ready for the transformation. He's done many similar exercises I would like to consider for you."
"Like no cubs..." Kakarot said coming back to issue he didn't like.
"It won't be a sudden thing Kakarot. What I think we should do is start small. You can pick one of the guards, or a nurse, whoever you are comfortable with and not your family, and let them help you with the twins lunch or for bath time. You would be there the whole time. We can do this for a few weeks. And then we'll move forward if you are ready. You will then let your chosen person watch the cubs for an hour or two so you can rest or have some alone time with Vegeta or another family member, maybe a nice meal or going to a show. I hired a nurse for Broly as a young cub just so I could give my wife time to rest or take a hot bath while I was working. Broly was a fairly calm cub but he still woke often in the night, and you have two little ones and don't sleep well on top of that."
Kakarot nodded not meeting the alpha's eyes as he considered that. He didn't sleep well most nights. And Geta was having to go back to training and working now that the twins were a month old. His mate didn't say but Geta, Teti, and Tama all helped with them in the night but he was noticing the circles under their eyes. And Geta might want to touch him now. He wasn't carrying any more. And he didn't think Geta would do that near the cubs meaning he'd need someone to watch them or he'd anger or disappoint his mate by refusing. He didn't want that. Geta was so kind about all the things wrong with him, he didn't want to cause more problems and make Geta change his mind.
"What I would like to eventually happen is you gain the ability to leave your cubs with someone for an afternoon so you can focus on yourself. Meetings with me where we discuss things that are harder than others. Time to study if you choose. Maybe a hobby you enjoy or spending some one on one time with Kome or Seba. Or time with friends and family." Paragus gently explained getting his attention again. "It's not wrong to love and protect your cubs Kakarot. It's just not healthy to fear them being near other people. Saiyans who would never dream of hurting any cub much less yours. Do you remember Tarro's law?"
It was like a light bulb clicked in Kakarot's mind.
"No hurt cubs...bearers or cubs."
"Precisely. No one is taking the cubs away from you. We all want them and you to be happy and well adjusted. Did Bardock keep you in sight all the time, or your brother once you were kome or Seba's age?"
"No..." the beta blushed a little realizing Paragus was right much to his embarrassment before tears came to his eyes. Was he a bad parent? Had he hurt Kome and Seba? Was he hurting Rahi and Amara?
"What are you thinking right now?" The older male asked softly.
"Am...am I a...bad Tama?"
"Of course not." Paragus reassured. "Remember when I said you were hurt and not broken? This is part of that. You and the cubs were stuck in a very bad situation and your fear of losing your cubs was well founded. You protected them in that situation to to best of your ability. It was a very dangerous time and you acted like any good Tama would to keep them safe. You kept them close, attacked any one trying to hurt them and got between those you couldn't fight so they'd be safe and not hurt. You taught them to hide so they'd be safe, you taught Kome to sign and read words he'd need if there was ever a chance to escape. You are a very good tama Kakarot. Part of your injury I want to help you with is that your instincts aren't recognizing it's safe now. You've been in danger for so long you've partly forgotten what it's like not being in that situation. And when you get scared it all comes rushing back and you forget you're safe."
Kakarot felt tears sting his eyes after he heard those words. His family told him all the time that he was a good tama, but to hear it from someone else…it seemed to mean more, like they weren't just saying that to make him feel better. He took a deep breath to help get his emotions under a shaky grip of control before looking back at Paragus.
"And…no cubs will…help?"
"Yes. It will be good for them and you. I know it will be hard to start, but I promise, Kakarot, I would not ask you to do this if I thought you couldn't do it. And remember, we will start small and take our time."
The younger saiyan still looked reluctant to do that, but he did want to get better. His family trusted this doctor, and the beta kept that in mind.
"O…ok. Spend time….away from cubs."