So as some of you may know I lost absolutely every document I had saved for all my stories (yes, i've cried about it for several hours) and i was just considering just never continuing this but i adore this story too much so I just very frustratedly wrote this in three hours although i had already wrote this and this feels like a poor version of the original copy i had. I may go back rewrite this better in the future but I just really needed to get this chapter out of the way so now i can more easily progress with this story.
She's pulling violently at her clothes, costume fabric ripping beneath her fingers, wanting the stupid costume that is now soaked in Vicki's blood off of her while the sobs of grief and frustration can no longer be held back. Her heart aches, her body aches. The dress rips as she tears at it harder and meaner, she pulls at it, dropping it down onto the ground around her feet before she steps out of it, kicking it away. She lets out another sob as she looks at her hands. The gloves, once a pure white now a dried brownish-red. She yanks them off her hands throwing them, wanting it away from her.
She trembling and shaking as she just stands there in the middle of her childhood bedroom in nothing but her underwear. Mascara stains her cheeks and face, her lipstick is smeared and her hair hair, just like her mind, once pretty and organized now a mess. Her body and chest heaves with every breath she takes. Her hands reach up and bury into her hair and she just pauses as she looks around her room, at a loss. She has so much to do in so little time, so many thoughts.
She closes her eyes, but opens them straight away with a sharp breath. She can't close her eyes without seeing Vicki on the ground, right in front of her, without seeing Stefan with that monstrous pregnant teen shakes her head, more tears would fall from her eyes if she hadn't already cried them all away,. She needs to focus, she needs to get back on task.
With a heavy heart she looks over to her wardrobe before springing into action.
There are moments in your life, moments where you are just screaming, crying, wishing, begging and praying that things were different but they aren't. What happened has already happened though, the story already written and in that moment you can't even see into the future because the pain is so strong. Because it doesn't feel like you'll ever make it to tomorrow. It doesn't feel like anything matters anymore and the tears keep falling down your face.
Every single breath is getting harder and more difficult than the last for him. Knee's brought up to his chest, arms wrapped around them as he is on the ground, back against the wall as if he could disappear. It hurts, it hurts so much he can hardly has so many questions, all starting with 'WHY?!' of 'HOW?!' and nothing makes sense. He loved her so much, she brought him back to life and now that she's gone- that he watched her be murdered before his eyes and couldn't do anything- it hurts more than ever.
The realization of monster being real, beast with fangs and dark veiny eyes forever corrupt perception of reality. Was what he saw real? His thoughts can not even linger on the possibility of the supernatural, for his mind is trained on Vicki. He's not sure how long he just sits there sobbing in bedroom but then Alexis is calling out to him. It's a tone of hurried question and urgency, not panic or danger. He doesn't listen, doesn't move, doesn't do anything but continue to drown in his sadness. He was meant to be getting his stuff but as soon as he got to his room he just fell to the ground, he couldn't care less about getting his stuff. His heart was broken and his world shattered.
Clothes were thrown into a duffel bag that had been in the bottom of her wardrobe, and pulling on a pair or shorts and a baggy shirt to cover herself when she hears a slight noise from Jeremy's room. She pauses, head whipping up before she softly calls out his name. Zipping up the bag she slings it over her shoulder and heads out of her room. "Jeremy?" She calls again, more of a rush in her voice, considering tonight's events. She hears a light thud followed by muffeled sounds which instills panic in her and she runs to her brothers room. She comes to a sharp halt in the open doorway to his room and her arms brace herself on either side of the frames as she takes in the sight before her. It's her brother, he's on the ground against the wall and he's sobbing, knees brought to his chest and fat tears rolling down his face. He sounds like he's in pure agony and pain as he cries and it makes Alexis's breath catch in her throat. It's hard to hear. Like another stab right to her heart, she doesn't know how she's still standing. Slowly her stance relaxes as she looks to him, the duffle bag the was on her shoulder falls to the ground with a thud as her arms drop to her sides. For a moment she doesn't know what to do, caught up in seeing what she is, and trying not to fall apart in the same way.
The mother to be just does the one thing she knows how to. Comfort. She rushes over to him quickly. The girl drops down before him, her knees scraping against the carpet as she is quick to reach out to touch him. Touching him, she's grabbing his neck, his face but he moves his head away from her touch. She doesn't allow it, he needs this just as much as she does. Alexis grabs at him, checking over him like a mother would.
"Jer. Jeremy look at me."" She pleads with him and he can't deny her anything she asks with such a broken tone. He looks up at her, tears on his face and eyes watery. Broken, pained and confused. He opens his mouth, like he's about to say something but she his the sharpness of each breath as he tries not to break out completely sobbing further instead of speaking. She has a hand on the side of his face, Her thumb wiping tears away but his hand reaches up and stops her, holding her wrist gently as he begins to speak.
"Ally, Why does everyone I love have to die on me?" He asks her, not understanding, raw vulnerability in his voice,.
It's something in her eyes, her mouth opens and a pained gasp comes from her lips. It's like he can see her heart and her soul breaking further from his words just by looking into her eyes. It somehow hurts even more now, just how far this goes. She starts shaking her head straight away, denying his words instantly.
"No." She tells him quickly. "No." Desperately, searching for words. Her hands go to the sides of his face because he has to hear this and he must let her tell him. She needs to say it. "But not me! Not me, I will never ever leave you."
"You will." He tells her, trying to pull away but she doesn't let him.
"No, never. I love you, do you hear me? I love you and I will never ever leave you. You're my brother, my baby brother. Always. It's my job to protect you. I won't leave you and I won't let anyone else hurt you. I'm so sorry, Jer." He's never heard his sister speak so broken and earnestly in his life. Raw honesty and he cannot doubt her love for him or her words for even a second. You see even as he think of giving into to death, right now is why he could never. Alexis. Alexis had always been a constant, Elena and Jenna may be better of without him-, he knows that for fact, but he knows that it would destroy Alexis before belief. She has a fragile heart when it comes to him and she's the only person he knows now without a doubt loves him. She reminds him so much of their mother when they were children. She'd walk through hell for him him if he asked, and he would. Really, he wouldn't even have to ask. Her touch just ground him, even if only slightly.
He doesn't respond to her, just looks into her water filled eyes then just closes his eyes. She pulls him forward, wrapping her arms around him. He loves his sister, he squeezing her tight hugging back but he cannot get the image of Vicki out of his head. She holds him silently, just being with him for quite a while until his tears stop. She pulls away from him when he finally lets go and she's just kneeling in front of him, meeting his eyes.
"Come on, we have to go now." She tells him, because they really do need to leave. It's not safe. Jeremy pauses and he looks at his sister with an expression she can not really place but she can see some fear.
"What...What were they, Ally? They weren't human. Vicki wasn't..." His voice quieter, still raw but now far more steady. There's a visible change in the look in his sisters face like she is afraid, like something is terribly wrong. She shakes her head, moving to stand.
"Jeremy we don't have time for this, please. Get your stuff ready. I'm going to call John and.. Please." She pleads with her brother, offering him a hand to get up. After a moment he takes it.
"Okay, Okay." He tells her. Moments later he's at his chest of drawers with bag and she grabs her brothers phone, not knowing or caring where her own mobile is and she hurriedly looks through the contacts before finding the one in which she seeks. She calls the number instantly. The phone started to ring, she has her lips pressed together tightly, eyes closed thinking of what she's going to say when it stops ringing and she hears his voice as he picks up.
She's utterly lost, seeking out help from the one adult she believes would know exactly what to do in a situation like this. Someone she loves and trusts most. Someone that can fight and never ever seemed to be afraid of anything at all. He had always promised her that he'd protect from all the monsters in this world and be there for her whenever she needed him most. He'd drop everything just to get to her. He was always only a phone call or a message away. And right now, she needs him more than ever.
The phone rings out, his voice sounds but it's a recording and she curses. She needs him to pick up, tears slowly spill again and the beep sounds indicting for her to leave a message.
"John! Please, It's Alexis.I need you. Something's happened-"
Jeremy doesn't hear the rest of what Alexis leaves in the message, just that broken and pleading tone trying so desperately to be strong tells him enough. His pulling off his costume in one smooth motion over his head. He already had fresh clothes beneath but he still pulls off his shirt, chucking it on the floor before grabbing a new one. He crouches down, beside his draws picking up a duffle bag he had been using for sport class that he never attended. His movements are slow, his mind clearly elsewhere as he just grabs anything, not caring what he brings doing it because it's the only thing he can think of doing.
"Some sort of-of monster. A vampire or something!" It's the only part of the phone call that captures Jeremy's attention again. He looks over his shoulder. Vampire, the word fits. It opens as many questions as it answers. The world truly is far more darker than he had ever thought. Alexis looks so stressed, phone pressed against her face, as she just talks urgently at being left on voicemail. Talking about them leaving, heading to his, wanting to meet is what her words turn to as she noticed her brother looking.
Mid sentence she pauses as the phone beeps again indicting it's been too long and the recording has ended. She lets out a pained sound and stops talking. Wordlessly she slowly pulls the phone from her ear and her watery eyes flick up and meet Jeremy's. She presses a button on the phone and lets out a breath,casting her eyes away before throwing the phone on his bed as if it were useless. She pauses, just breathing heavy for a moment before she tells him again that have to go soon but she realizes she dropped the keys early in the front yard. Rather then go search and waste time she races down the stairs to grab the spare set from the kitchen draw. She's rummaging through the dare and she finds what she looks for quickly but she's interrupted.
"Alexis."
Her eyes widen, her heartbeat picks up wildly inside of her chest, her body stiffening and it feels like the air in the room has gone cold. She knows that voice, she'd know it absolutely anywhere. It breaks her heart as much as it terrifies her. It's only second that she pauses before instincts she only just started realizing she has kicked in. Her hand darts out before her to the knife block, pulling out the biggest knife and spinning on her feet oh so quickly.
She locks eyes with him instantly, it's like all the air has been knocked out of her lungs but this times it's not the good way. The knife is held threatening toward him and he's only a few steps away, still far too close for comfort.
For a second there was back there was a moment, a flutter between them that may of became something more, maybe the two didn't realize it or even think about it but that doesn't mean something wasn't there. Now, as they stare at each other there is nothing but hate, sadness and regret. It's far from the looks they use to have. For the first time since meeting her Stefan Salvatore looks into her eyes and can not see her just as he is now nothing more the a murder and someone she thought she had known.
He is a threat to her and she is a broken promise to him.
His eyes flick down, looking at the knife she holds against him and his already cautious demonor continues. He raises his hands up slowly in a calming manner as well as a surrender. His eyes look to the knife then meet her usually so soft and fond eyes that now are hardened and fearful. He made her like that and she can see in his own eyes that he's breaking at the seems. It's almost unbearable to even look at him. The air is heavy, full of so much broken potential.. Her lips quiver as she begins to speak, building up the courage.
"Get out!" She demands, but the the words do not come out as strong as she had hoped and even while holding the knife she doesn't feel in control. He can hear the quiver in her voice and notice how she trembles in fear and anger. She can see the hurt on his face but she can not care for it, she can't let herself. He pauses, after a moment he slowly starts putting his hands down and shaking his head. He hears her heartbeat prick up.
He takes a slow few steps forward cautiously and she steps back, her back hitting against the counter. "Stop!" She yells at him. "Don't come any closer!"
"Alexis-"
"How could you?!" She yells at him utter pain in her voice. His mouth opens, pain on his face as looks at him. "How can you even look at me in the eyes after what you've done?! You just murdered her! You've done horrible things, you've let horrible things happen to the people I love and how dare you step foot into this house! You have no right!"
"You're right!" He shouts, raw honesty in his voice and that makes her pause, wanting to maybe hear him out. "And I'm so sorry but just let me try to explain-" His voice is soft, cautious and trying to be diffusing but the mere thought of him just being able to explain and try to justify his actions infuriates her.. Her emotions get the better of her as she cuts him off.
"Explain what? That you killed Vicki? That you're a murderer? Or that you are a monster." She spits out venomously, voice all hitched, shaking her head at him and she can she the look on his face change slightly, shocked by her. That word 'Monster' is slapping him in the face. He's never heard her talk in such a way, with so much hate and anger. He knows that she will never be able to forgive him for this, not that he deserves it, Tears of sadness and anger start to spill from her doe like eyes.
"I was trying to protect you!" He speaks desperately and she lets out a sharp noise, hurt.
"So it's my fault?" She asks quietly, tearfully and her grip loosens on the knife while her arm goes limp. Her eyes go glassy, she's in her mind and all she can see is Vicki. The look on her ace, the humanity returning right before Stefan rammed that piece of white wood through her chest., She can still her the stuttered breathing, the shocked gasp but quiet pained noises. The look of pure fear of the girls face. The desperation as she looked at Alexis and how her last words were pleas about has to stop that line of thought knowing she cannot handle to think about Matt. It's selfish of her, but she knows it'll truly break her and this is the worst moment to break completely. She needs to be strong. Her eyes snapback to him, focusing and she lifts up the knife, threatening him because she hadn't realize but he stepped even closer to her. Inches away. The tip of the knife is almost touching the skin on his throat.
"No, this your fault." She spits out, her voice firm and strong. "You killed her. You did this. You are a monster, an actual literally monster with fangs!" Her voice is high, strained and hurt. Eyes glistening with tears yet again. It's as though Alexis is ignoring that vicki was any sort of threat at all. As though Vicki didn't rip into Elena's throat or tear into Jeremy's it's because Vicki is dead now and even those actions of hurting her family does not justify the punishment of death.
Stefan meets her eye, its an extremely hard thing to takes in a breath before changing her life forever. His eyes are wet as he speaks. "I'm not as monster, Alexis. I'm a Vampire and I'm so sorry you had to find out like this. I never wanted this to happen." It seems impossible, but it's almost like he can see it in her eyes they way her world has just completely shattered apart. Her mouth falls open and she looks like she wants to argue the possibility, but she cannot since she knows it's true. Her entire life is turned upside down in one horror filled night. This can't be right. A sob tears out of her throat. Knife accidentally pricking the skin at his neck as her body heaves. The blood disappears almost as soon as it appeared.
"No-This-it can't- Oh god I never should've trusted you, I let you into my home. My family, my friends. I was so stupid. Oh god" She's acting hysterical, eyes comically wide with terror and horror at her own actions, Her chest heaves with ever panicked and quick breath, tears falling even quicker.
He knew Alexis would never be able to handle the truth about the world, it just wasn't the type of person she is. She's so beautifully human, so caring and her emotions rule her. It's both an amazing and horrible thing. This is also the worst stage in her life to find out, she too strong willed, too strong of moral compass, protective and emotional. He has always struggled in picturing even an ideal scenario where she found out and would have something close to an accepting reaction, which is strange because it's in her nature to be accepting, just not with monsters that killed. Her desire to protect those she loves and her state of pregnancy is the main reasons he believes so. It's too much risk, she could lose the baby from the amount of distress and that when his entire demeanor changes, his glassy eyes flick down to her stomach as he thinks about the baby. He notices it straight away not only is Alexis' heartbeat to fast the baby's heartbeat has increased under serious duress. Panic strikes into Stefan. He loves that baby already, strangely and right now to protect both Alexis and her unborn child he needs to get Alexis to calm down. After everything that's happened tonight, the extreme emotional distress she is in, he is fearful she may miscarry. It's a real possibility.
"I know how you're feeling, the loss and the can be overwhelming and too much to bare but it'll be okay. I need you to calm down." His voice is desperately trying so hard to be reassuring. He lifts a hand up to grab her wrist to lower the knife but before his hand wraps around her wrist she jerks her hand away before quickly pressing the knife to his neck.
"Don't touch me!" She screams, feels cornered and threatened. She feels like she's a scared helpless little girl thats been trapped by the monster of her nightmares. She's so afraid of someone she had adored. Stefan looks at her, she's acting hysterical and he can't predict her next move. He looks at her and realizes he has no idea who she is.
"You're not going to hurt me. You and I both know that." He speaks, uncertain if those words are true but sounding convicting. "But right now, for the sake of your baby, i need you to calm down." It sounds like a threat, everything from his mouth now sounds like a threat. Her baby, her thoughts go straight to her unborn child. She feels sick, her spare hand goes to her stomach hoping and desperately praying her little boy is alright. All she feels is fear.
While she is momentarily distracted, Stefan grabs her wrist, not holding tight rather gentle but her eyes snap back to meet his. She drops the knife instantly, stuck in her mind is how his vampiric face looked earlier and her eyes widen in pure terror.
Everything that happened next happened extremely fast and she could barely process it. Jeremy voice was shouting, Alexis was consumed by fear and sudden adrenal as her knee hitched up, hitting Stefan in the groin catching him off guard before shoving him away. Instantly Jeremy's on him.
"Jeremy!" She screams desperately and afraid, trying to come to her brothers aid but she thinks twice. She stays where she is, back pressed against the counter, hand on her stomach and the other gripping the edge of the bench. The fight is a scuffle, it's clear Stefan is holding back but something is wrong with Alexis. There's a sick feeling she's never quite felt before and she just knows something isn't quite right She can't be sure if it's the pregnancy or sickness from everything she has witnessed. "Oh god." She breathes out, hands on her stomach, her eyes casted down. She doesn't notice that Stefan hears her whisper and he pauses to look at her only for Jeremy to strike him off guard. A sickening, crunching sound of bones snapping as Stefan's head hits on the table top and fall to the ground limply.
She looks up, all teary eyes to see Stefan on the ground with his neck bent in a face to impossible angle. His necks been snapped, she is unsure if he is truly dead or not. She lets out a shocked gasp at the horrifying picture of Stefan dying there like that. Jeremy looks surprised and overwhelmed.
She doesn't hear a word of what her brother says as he stands there for a moment before the realization of time is truly running out dawns upon him. He rushes to pick up the two bags he dropped before he offers his sister his spare hand, telling them they really did need to leave now. She takes his hand, stepping over Stefan's limp body and the walk hand in hand through the house. It's strange the connection that this brother and sister have. They rush to the front door, the escape of the night but as the door opens they find they are not alone.
Next chapter will be a merge of the night and the next day. it just makes more sense to cut it here. Also there will be quiet abit of damon in the next chapter since Alexis in the moment can not bare to talk to stefan or really Elena. Also Alexis will finally think about Matt, sorry she hasnt yet but it would have stalled things too much.
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