Chapter 20

Rodger let go of my hand and walked over to the window. I stood glued to the spot near the door where I was standing.

I struggled to find the right words to begin with, so a few seconds (or perhaps minutes) passed in silence.

Finally, he spoke up. "So what happened?" He asked simply. His voice was so quiet I barely heard him.

My mind went in to overdrive and I started to panic.

When I was still silent, he turned around to look at me. Taking a few steps forward, but not touching me, he said, "Bella, I've heard a lot of things today and I've been blocking them all out. I want to hear what you have to say, just tell me truth, that's all I ask for."

I gulped. "Okay."

He waited for me to continue. "Why don't you sit down first?" He pulled out a chair and I took a seat. He remained standing, leaning against the table opposite my chair.

"Sirius told me he fancies me." I blurted. I looked up, he showed no expression. "He hasn't-he hasn't pressured me or anything like that, but he told me" I thought back to his confession in the kitchens.

"And-and when we were serving out detention the other day, we were in the Forbidden Forest and we were almost attacked but he saved us and we almost…we almost kissed." I had my head down at this point, clutching the sides of the chair firmly.

"And last night we were in the common room alone by coincidence and he kissed me on the cheek. That's all that happened. Things have been really weird between Sirius and I and it hasn't been fair to you, I'm so sorry Rodger, I'm so sorry! You've been the perfect boyfriend, you treat me so well, I'm so sorry."

I didn't notice when the tears started to roll down my cheeks, but I tried to wipe them away in frustration.

He quickly made his way over to me, pulled my up by the wrists and enveloped me in a hug. He rubbed my back and let me bury my head into his shirt.

"I'm sorry I told myself I shouldn't c-cry, and that I should just rationally talk to you, I'm so sorry"

He didn't say a word, just kept rubbing my back and whispering soft comforting words.

When I had calmed down, I sniffed and pulled my head back.

He stroked my hair, "it's okay Bells, I understand. I can't lie, I don't like it at all that you two got so close, but I do understand. The only thing is, it makes me question, do you want to be with me?"

He released his hold on me and stared deep into my eyes. I shuddered from the sudden loss of warmth.

I gazed back at his face. What did I want? I hesitated, but then I looked into his eyes.

I saw fear, insecurity, deep admiration and affection. He had been so kind to me. I was expecting him to end the relationship as soon as I told him what was going on, and he was well within his rights to. But he was so understanding, so caring, putting me first and willing to discuss how I felt.

"I do want to be with you." I said with conviction.

I was reminded of the time he first asked me out, that day in the Hospital Wing. Time and time again, I was taken aback by the courage and dedication of this boy that quite frankly, swept me off my feet.

He smiled so wide and without any hesitation, grabbed my face with both hands and leaned down and kissed me. And this time believe me, it was not like any of our other kisses. It was intense and passionate. And I felt all the emotion and elation he was pouring out.

He pulled back and rested his forehead on mine, "thank Merlin" he breathed out.

"I'm so sorry again Rodg" I said, trying to regulate my own breath.

"Stop apologising Bella" he smiled.

"…sorry-"

He cut me off with another toe-curling kiss.

Weeks rolled by and Rodg and I were as happy as ever.

I found myself being extra cheerful for no reason.

Rodg not only kept me happy, he never failed to calm me down when I needed it. He was so different to me but we were so similar at the same time.

He was gentle, serene and introspective. He always spoke after careful insight and he always had encouraging things to say.

A few months ago I only knew him as a sweet awkward boy, but now I knew him better, he was an incredibly honest, kind person who I could depend on.

I made sure I was there for him too when he needed it. I never want to be in a relationship where I'm not putting in any effort and expecting the other person to. He often told me how much he valued my presence and my advice. I only hoped that was true.

I tried to spend the same amount of time with my friends as I did before, but as my affection for Rodger grew, I could tell I was seeing a lot less of them. Not that any of them complained.

I was also mindful of spending too much time with Sirius.

To be truthful, the effect he had on me scared me. So as bad as I felt, I knew I was consciously avoiding him.

Meals were okay, I could easily sit with other friends, classes were slightly awkward, especially care of magical creatures since Niffy, for some reason, thought Sirius and I were his parents, and often wouldn't eat unless we were both there to feed him at the same time.

But the worst was easily quidditch. During practice, Fletcher grilled us about being a team and acting as one unit, and I was often yelled at for taking obscure flight paths (in order to avoid encounters with a certain beater). This was particularly evident in our game against Hufflepuff, when I let a particularly easy shot fall into the opponent's possession as I was distracted by Sirius' gaze on me.

Needless to say, Harvey's halftime lecture was enough to bring me back to my senses.

So here we were, at second last game of the season, Gryffindor v Ravenclaw, and we were losing 210 – 150. We needed our seeker to catch the snitch as soon as possible because their chasers were on fire today.

Thompson made a pass, I dived down, speeding ahead of two opponent chasers to grab the quaffle. I kept flying downwards and tilted up a few metres above the ground.

"AN EXCELLENT CATCH BY HARPER, PASS TO JAMES, BACK TO HARPER, HARPER TO THOMSON, THOMSON TO POTTER, CAN POTTER SCORE? NO HE'S FEIGNED A SHOT AND INSTEAD THROWN IN BACK TO HARPER WHO'S APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE ON THE OTHER SIDE! AND THERE WE ARE! GRYFFINDOR SCORES! AN EXCELLENT GOAL BY HARPER!" The announcer, fifth year Leeroy McCoy boomed over the loudspeaker. The Gryffindor supporters roared their approval.

"THEY STILL HAVE TO PICK UP THE PACE THOUGH, STILL 40 POINTS DOWN, THEY ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF THE SNITCH"

Half an hour ticked by and still no sign of the snitch, when all of a sudden, huge roar erupted from the side of the crown dressed in Bronze and Blue, while the Red and Gold side booed and sat back down in their seats.

James punched the air in frustration and I closed my eyes.

Disappointed, as soon as we touched ground we dispersed to the male and female changerooms.

I took an extra long time in the showers as I had been a bit muddied this game.

Finally washed and dried, I got changed and headed out. I bumped into none other than Sirius as I exited.

"Oh, sorry" I said with my head down. I went to rush past him.

"Wait, you dropped something, it fell out of your robes" he called.

Turning around I saw him staring confused at a ripped piece of parchment in his hands.

I stared at it confused too, when realisation hit me. Abigail's note! My eyes widened. It must have been in my robe pocket all these weeks.

"Oh, sorry about that, my mistake." I took the piece of parchment hurriedly. The ink was smudged no doubt from being washed with the robes, but each word was still legible and clear, much to my dismay.

"What was that?" Sirius asked. "Was that from Abi?" He asked incredulously.

When I didn't say anything, he grew irritated, "why didn't you say something Bella? I would have spoken to her! This is why she cursed you isn't it?"

"It wasn't a curse it was a potion" I mumbled, with my head down.

He ran his hand through his hair, frustrated.

"You've been ignoring me for weeks because of this."

I looked up, "no that's not why" I said before I could stop myself.

He stared hard at me, "then tell me why."

"I..I don't know."

"You don't know."

"…"

"Of course you don't know." He threw his hands up in the air.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"It means you wouldn't know something if it hit you across the face" he said, taking a few steps towards me.

I gasped, "that's rather rude" I said, incredulous.

He ignored me, "are you meaning to tell me that you truly want to be with Rodger Lee?" He stared hard at me.

"Yes" I answered without pause.

His lips pressed into a firm line.

"I see."

Reviews are getting slack people! So uploads are going to be slower :(

- Sugar~