Hey, everyone. Sorry for the ultra long pause between updates. My family had to relocate, insurance issues, and as it turns out, I'm 13 weeks pregnant. I have managed to outline many chapters ahead, which means writing them - and updating quicker - will be much easier. Thanks for being so patient, guys!
Chapter 7: High Expectations
He stared at his mid semester report card in despair. His grades had slipped again and his teachers, though sympathetic to his situation, still had to do their jobs. He had failed a few tests here and there, forgotten homework a few times and it caught up to him. He wasn't surprised, just annoyed at himself for letting his grades slip so hard. His parents would be furious.
Furious? Disappointed in you, more like. Hell, I'm disappointed. He ignored the voice and picked up the medicine bottle up from his desk. It was almost empty. He was worried. What would happen once he ran out? How could he get more? The thought scared him more than working at Moon's Mattress Kingdom for the rest of his days or even being as father did. That's pretty sad, Austin. If Ally found out about this addiction of yours, she might leave you. He stood, ignoring the hazy delusion of himself sitting on his bed. He walked down the hall and stopped in front of the master bedroom door.
Austin hated going in there. He hated feeling as if he were intruding on his parents privacy. This was still their room. Nothing would change that. He took a deep breath and knocked loudly as he opened the door. It was exactly the way they left it. A long glance at their bed saw it empty. Cold. Never to be laid in again.
They don't like it when you stare, Austin, it's rude. They taught you better.
His breath caught in his throat and he apologized for intruding and went straight for their bathroom. His father has been on medicine for ADD; that's where Austin had borrowed it from earlier when his grades had slipped before.
He couldn't fail school. Ally was counting on him to succeed. He opened the medicine cabinet, found the right bottle and quickly exited the room. He slipped into his room and sat at his desk. The stack of textbooks had collected a thin layer of dust. He downed a pill and blew the dust off his math book. He was going to pass. He was going to graduate and Jimmy was going to let him perform again. Things were going look up for him, Ally and their child.
You really think that? Cause you know what I think? I think Ally is going to figure out your secret and leave you on your ass. You really think she has time to coddle you and your addiction when she's worrying about her baby? Nope. No time. Wise up. Stay with her and quit or leave her and keep on using. Why not save her the extended agony and leave?
He ignored the voice and studied for hours. Math, science, English and world cultures. When he looked up from his books, it was well into the evening. He glanced at his phone, it was almost time to meet up with Ally for dinner. He stood up from his desk and went to the hall bathroom to take a shower. He was nervous. Both of Ally's parents would be there. They were going to tell them the news today. Lester would be furious. He would glare and fume and tell them how expensive this endeavor would be.
He would ask about money. He would ask about Austin's plan to support Ally and the baby. He would mention Moon's Mattress Kingdom and Austin would have to answer him seriously. And just to make things even better, they were telling Jimmy and Ronnie tomorrow. Like Jimmy would ever let him perform again; Austin disobeyed his direct orders at the music awards and now the girlfriend he wasn't supposed to have was going to have a baby.
Jimmy is going to bury you. Austin bit his lip. You're out of options. Moon's Mattress Kingdom it is. He stepped into the shower and turned on the water, ignoring that it was blisteringly cold. He would never perform again. He would be forced to assume the throne. He would be forced to become the mattress king. Austin stood under the running water with his head down. As much as he didn't want to, he would do anything for Ally and their baby.
Anything? How about going through withdrawal? He ignored the voice and finished up his shower. He wiped the steam from the mirror. He looked exhausted, but otherwise normal. He could do this. He could face Ally's parents, Jimmy and Ronnie. But he couldn't do it alone; he needed to make sure he didn't come down during dinner. He fixed up his hair, picked out something to wear and calmed himself down. The familiar self loathing came and went. The doorbell rang, Ally had arrived. They were meeting her parents at Fancy's. He grabbed his tie and draped it around his neck; no use in tying it when Ally was just going to redo it for him. He shoved a Ziploc bag with a smashed pill into his pants pocket.
Lester is going to kill you. Austin ignored the voice and went to answer the door. He opened the door and smiled at her, she smiled back. She looked exhausted, but still gorgeous in her dress. Her hands went to his tie.
"Just... don't punch me in the throat again," he joked, trying to cut the tension between them. The air around them was tense, but all he could think to do was kiss her. She tied his tie and gave a nervous sigh. He grabbed her hand.
"You ready to do this?" she asked, squeezing his hand. He nodded.
"Let's do this." Ally felt a little bit sick to her stomach; anyway they explained it to her parents, she was still an unmarried, pregnant teenager in high school. At the very least, she assumed Austin would eventually pop the question and make her his Mrs. Moon, but for now, this still seemed bad. She knew her father would ask about money, but she had that covered. The Music Factory and money from her album would help and it wasn't as if she didn't have insurance. Her mother would be worried, but happy.
And that's when Ally's hormones took over: her mind began to race. What if her parents were furious? What if Ronnie dropped her from his label? What if she and Austin struggled because of money? What if she had to give up college? She chortled aloud, prompting Austin to raise an eyebrow. She could feel his gaze burning holes into her skin.
"... are you panicking, Ally?" Pale and shaking, she nodded. "Are you still on board for telling your parents?" Again, she nodded. "Then it's now or never, right?" Fancy's wasn't too far from Austin's house; the drive was only about ten minutes. Before she knew it, they had met up with Lester and Penny and were being seated. Ally's stomach turned, her face went a shade of green that Austin had never seen before. She excused herself, leaving Austin to sit in an awkward silence with her parents. Penny was the first to speak.
"Is Ally okay?" she worried aloud, "I've never seen her take off like that before." Austin gave a nervous smile and played with his napkin.
"She's uh, she's been feeling a little bit sick today, but she didn't want to cancel on you guys. She really wanted for us all to go out together." Just as Penny was going to check on her, Ally returned from the bathroom.
"Ally, Austin told us that you weren't feeling so well. Are you sure you're up for this?" Lester asked, pushing in his daughter's chair as she sat. "Also, just saying, this place is pretty expensive." Penny rolled her eyes,
"Lester, you're not even paying." Ally laughed in spite of herself, "Ally, honey, are you up to this?" She smiled, looking at both of her parents.
"I'm okay. I've been looking forward to dinner with you guys since we planned it. I'm up for this. Promise." A silence fell over them before Penny spoke again to clear the awkward air,
"So, graduation is coming up. Are you guys excited?" To be honest, graduation was the last thing on Ally's mind. A smile crossed her face and she nodded, "And you're valedictorian, I couldn't be prouder!" Ally smiled, grabbing Austin's hand beneath the table and giving it a gentle squeeze. The waiter came by and took their drink orders.
"Enough about us, how have you been? How's Africa?"
"Lulu had another baby!" Penny beamed, glancing at Austin, "His name is Mahrukh. I wasn't sure if you would mind if we called him Austin, so I found a name that translates to Moon. I'm so sorry about what happened to you and your family." Austin thanked her, all the while feeling awful that she'd done something so kind and all he'd done was impregnate her daughter. Penny eased up on the subject, backtracking to Lulu's pregnancy and the miracle of life. Austin could feel Ally's grip on his hand tighten. The waiter had come back with their drinks and took their orders. Ally saw her chance.
"Mom, dad," she prompted, "Austin and I have something to tell you." Ally took a deep breath and ignored the tightness of her chest. "You are going to be grandparents." Lester choked on his drink. As Ally predicted, he went through his spiel about expenses. He started in on Austin, asking how he intended to take care of Ally and their baby.
Here it comes. Your moment of truth, if you could even call what you're about to tell him the "truth". What are you going to tell him? You're not sure what you're going to do with your life if Jimmy buries you. Are you going to tell him that you inherited a business with no intent to run it? Are you going to tell him - no, them, that you're scared absolutely shitless about this baby? Are you finally going to admit that you're addicted to drugs? Lester kept staring. Austin kept his eyes low. He could feel beads of sweat trickle down the back of his neck. For once, he was actually terrified of Lester. If he wanted to marry Ally, he'd be dealing with this man for the rest of his life. He had to make an impression. He had to drum up some courage, figure out what to say and how to say it. Ally's going to see what kind of man you are, Moon, and she's going to leave you.
Austin shifted uncomfortably under Lester's critical stare, but swallowed his anxiety enough to speak.
"Mr. Dawson, I intend to marry Ally. I was actually going to ask her just after graduation. We're telling Jimmy and Ronnie tomorrow and if they decide to drop us, that's their problem. But, to answer your money question, I'm going to work at Moon's Mattress Kingdom. I accept fully that it is my responsibility as a father to provide for my child." Austin met Lester's gaze. "...I will die before I see Ally or my child go without." Despite his serious tone, Austin was internally panicking. He was scared; the prospect of working at the mattress store was crushing him. Absolutely crushing him. He inhaled deeply, hoping that tomorrow, Jimmy would be understanding. Lester backed down and turned to Penny. She was positively beaming. Tears of joy threatened to spill from her eyes as she stood, embracing both Ally and Austin.
"Ally, I knew." Penny admitted, "And I've known since you called. You can't hide things like this from me. This is wonderful. I'm a grandmother!" She called the waiter over and asked for a bottle of sparkling cider.
"I can see that you're serious about this, Austin," Lester sighed, "Work hard and save money. Take care of my daughter, because if you don't..."
He doesn't believe in you at all, but can you even blame him? Look at you. You're worthless. Already a washed up, has-been at eighteen. You've never worked a day in your life. How's he supposed to trust you? Austin stared at him, unable to focus on anything other than his own voice ringing in his ears. He faded back into the conversation and tried to calm himself down.
"Ally made being a father easy; I'm very lucky. Hopefully, you get that lucky too." He took Ally's hand and smiled. "I'm happy for you, sweetheart. We're here for you through this."
"And every step of the way," Penny added. Ally couldn't help but smile at her parents. Their support meant the world to her. Elated, she turned to Austin and smiled. This night could not have gone any better. She had a lot of hope for tomorrow's encounter with Jimmy and Ronnie. The waiter returned with their food in time for Ally to realize how hungry she actually was. She looked up from her food to see Austin get up from his seat as he was served. She cocked her head.
"Bathroom," he replied, "Be right back." He tried to keep his composure as he walked, but as soon as he was out of sight, he hurried his pace. He turned on the sink and splashed his face with some cold water. Austin raised his head and looked in the mirror. Pale, exhausted - washed up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw him.
Jimmy Starr. And right behind him was none other than his own hallucination. Jimmy's voice was familiar, but drowned out by Austin's very own voice ringing in his ears.
"Well if it isn't Austin Moon..."
The washed up has-been. Austin was hyper-focused on Jimmy, staring like a fawn in headlights. The producer kept going on and on about something, but the ringing in his ears was too loud. He asked about your parents. What do you tell him? Are you going to spill the secret about Ally?
"...Jimmy, I-"
"I hope tomorrow's meeting isn't about trying to change my mind." Austin felt the heat rise to his face, his chest wrenched, throat tightened up and he gagged. He turned, collapsed into a stall and threw up. "...you okay?" Austin flushed the toilet and lifted his head. What could he say?
"Yeah, I-I'm fine," he replied, getting to his feet to wash up again. "Thanks."
Ally is basically running that school. Neither of you honestly make enough there to stay afloat. Mall rent is high, electric bills, water and utilities... The kids break instruments, and of course there's the cost of technology and software. Dez and Trish's paychecks.
"You sure everything's okay? You look like hell." The pressure began to set in and Austin shattered like glass under its weight. He smiled, his eyes glassy.
"I'm great, I'm really... great. Not sure if the news got around yet!" Austin shrugged and smiled as he spiraled through his racing thoughts, "I'm going to be a father in January." Jimmy kept an even gaze, even as Austin fell into a bout of weird, hopeless chuckles. "I inherited Moon's Mattress Kingdom from my parents and I have a gorilla named after me, so... that's awesome, I guess. Things are so great."
Great job.
Jimmy put his hand on Austin's shoulder and a look of pity crossed his face. His voice was low, and he smiled a sympathetic half smile.
"That's..." He looked for the right words, unable to rip into Austin about his relationship with Ally. "That's great. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" Jimmy went for the door. "Hang in there, okay, Austin?"
Alone with his thoughts, Austin tried to calm himself. Well... That was embarrassing, he thought, splashing a little more water on his face. He'd been gone for about ten minutes - Ally was probably worrying by now.
Ally was definitely worried. She excused herself from the table to use the bathroom, leaving Penny and Lester to talk amongst themselves. She made her way toward the restrooms and stopped in her tracks.
Jimmy Starr had just left the men's room.
He looked a bit perplexed, but didn't seem to notice Ally at all as he went back to his table. She hurried toward the men's room and knocked quietly. "Austin? Are you in there?" He didn't answer. "Austin, please." Without waiting for an answer, she announced that she was going to open the door. Hesitantly, she opened the door and walked in. Austin was standing at a sink, head down, face and hair dripping. His hands gripped around the porcelain, knuckles stark white. Ally paused, her heart sinking. "...did you and Jimmy fight?"
"...no," he replied, voice soft. "I cracked." His fingers twitched, but he didn't relinquish his hold. "I panicked... told him everything. He didn't... seem angry."
"It's good that he wasn't angry," she replied, resting her hand on his shoulder. "Are you still panicking?" He swallowed hard and nodded, suddenly very aware of her hands on his. His grip loosened and she turned him around to face her. He closed his eyes and kept his head down. "You can tell me anything. Whatever is bothering you, I'm here to help."
She wants to help you, but you can't even help yourself-
"Just shut up!" Ally watched him raise his head, regret and embarrassment in his eyes. "A...Ally, I didn't mean- I mean..." He backed away from her, turned and ran out of the bathroom.
They all heard you, you know.
He paused and looked around. Half the restaurant was staring at him. His heart was pounding as he was met with pity and disapproving faces.
I'd get out of here if I were you.
He tried to run from all the disapproving eyes, but slammed into a waiter, sending them both to the floor and catching the attention of the rest of the restaurant. His blood ran cold - or maybe it was the Caesar dressing running down his face. The waiter began to apologize, but Austin didn't hear him over the low-roar of gossip. He got to his feet, but froze where he stood.
He felt one pair of eyes in particular. Jimmy was staring at him.
The song for this chapter is High Expectations by Faunts.