I'm writing this to help myself process my divorce. I haven't written a word in almost two months and I needed to do something to help get my writing mojo back. I obviously hope you like it. But if you don't, please don't be mean about it. A lot of this comes from a very real place.

Genre warnings: SHAMELESS self-insertion. If that bothers you, don't keep reading.

Thank you, please enjoy.

Alanna wasn't exactly sure how she found herself staring up at her feet from her upside down posture on the floor. But old drunk instincts, plus the sharp pain in the back of her head, told her she had probably flung herself there.

"Fucking...OW." She groaned.

A small scoff sounded from on top of the bed. "My, such language. Quite apt for my subjects, actually."

Flip-flopping like a fish, Alanna somehow got her feet under her again and slowly rose to a shaky stand. Her heart was pounding with anticipation at what she might see waiting for her there.

Even if this was some comatose dream or hallucination, she was going to pretend it was real. She silently thanked her body for being just unhinged enough to allow visual nonsense like this to happen. Hoping that whatever caused this wouldn't kill her in turn. At least, not before she got to enjoy the brief respite from misery often to be found in complete madness.

She raised her eyes to the Goblin King and saw...

Well, not David Bowie.

He still had the mismatched eyes and lupine smile, but he was a completely different man otherwise. And yet, he seemed somehow familiar. He was tall, handsome, and well muscled. His dark hair fell in the slightest waves to just above his shoulders. His eyes were not blue, but dark. Glittering with the promise of a thousand honey brown possibilities. She gestured toward the computer screen, still playing the film.

"You're not..." she muttered.

"An 80's glam rock icon?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "Unfortunately no. But Mr. Bowie was probably the closest approximation they could find for this particular encounter. I believe it was a young female in Mr. Hensen's family who first told him the story of how we met, and how she saw me." He flourished a hand over his form.

"Never the same man twice, part of the magic. And the temptation. I appear to each wisher as that which they most imagine they desire. This form for you was by far the most popular. I don't know who this man is or if he even exists outside of your head but he is usually the leading man you picture in every story that you read."

Alanna blinked hard. He was right. Whenever a detailed physical description was absent from any book, or it held any similarity, this was the man she always pictured. In every fantasy, every daydream. Absolutely confounded, she watched him as he sprung from the bed to go look into her vanity mirror. He admired his front and his back and played with his hair a bit.

"I admit, young lady." His voice made her want to run or melt. "You have excellent taste. I'll quite enjoy looking like this. Now..."He gestured for her to sit on the bed, which she did without question. "...to business. Why have you brought me here tonight? It's not just anyone who can call on the Goblin Kingdom these days. You have invoked the talisman of office in blood no less, and the magic of your thoughts has deemed you worthy of my presence, or else I would not have been successfully called." He sat down on the bed next to her. His proximity was highly alarming, but she sat still as a stone.

"Tell me everything."

As if a spell had been cast or lifted she took a comically deep breath and it all fell out of her mouth at once.

"He told me he'd love me forever. for exactly what I was and nothing more. He promised in front of all our family and friends that he would always stand by me. And less than two years later he told me he didn't love me anymore and listed all of my faults that had caused him to tire of me. And he tormented me with that for months before my best girlfriend told me that they had been having an affair and it was all a huge lie. I loved him so desperately and now I'm filled with this big gaping hole where my love and my whole life used to be and oh god please make the pain stop please take me away from here please save me from this despair!"

About halfway through her admission, she had begun to breathe too fast and too deeply. By the last, she had completely collapsed into great heaving sobs of true and irreconcilable loss.

The Goblin King sat completely aghast for a second before he instinctively wrapped his arms around her. He was greatly unsettled by the way she clung to him for dear life. Clinging in truth, to the last tie she had to her hopes and dreams. The last shreds of her childlike purity that had led him here tonight. She had grasped onto those wisps as a lifeline and wasn't letting go. Truly, she was a subject of his kingdom, and slowly he felt his ire rise in response to her misery. His eyes glittered with revenge and his voice lowered dangerously, "What would you ask of me?"

She wrapped her arms tightly around his chest and buried her face away from the world that had betrayed her. "Just take me home, please" she whimpered.

"You know that if I do this thing, there is no coming back."

She flew from his arms in a flurry. At first, it seemed she had changed her mind, but watching her he realized she was merely packing a bag at breakneck speed. A photo album, a few precious keepsakes, and her three stuffed comrades all cradled in her arms found her sitting next to him again with resolve in her face.

"I'm ready."

He produced a crystal with a serious face.

She took it.

Alanna Sowerby was never seen or heard from again in the Above Ground.