Chapter 36
I pressed past bustling crowds of students after the bell had rung signalling end of the first class. I had spotted James walking a few ways ahead of me, and immediately followed him.
I hadn't seen any of the boys the day after I'd witnessed them disappear into the whomping willow, which only caused my concern to grow. The girls struggled to see my worry as warranted and reminded me that the four would often disappear to do who knows what and I'd paid no heed to it before. For a moment I considered telling them that's because I hadn't seen them climbing into a violent tree before, but decided to keep what I'd seen to myself. After that my mind kept reeling with possibilities of what their 'late night adventures' included, and wondered if they all involved the whomping willow every time.
I hastened, gaining on James, this was the first glimpse I'd caught of any of them since the incident and he was thankfully alone.
"James!" I called.
He turned and grinned, "hey Bells, how are you doing on this fine day?"
Slightly taken aback at his cheery mood, I replied, "nothing, just taking a walk. How come your alone, where are the other infants?"
"Ha ha" he gave a sarcastic laugh, "I have to go see professor McGonagall on Head Boy business so they went to potions ahead of me."
"Oh, right. Well I was hoping to talk to you for a bit, do you need to see her urgently?" I looked up at him hopefully.
"Weeell I'd say it was urgent given her tone and general disposition, but I always have time for my favourite neighbour!" He said cheerfully.
"I'm your only neighbour James."
"So you know I can't be lying!"
"Right… well. I don't know how to begin, umm… Might as well just come out with it shall I?" I stammered, suddenly unsure how to proceed.
"Just spit it out Bells," James remarked bemusedly.
"What were you, Remus and Sirius doing climbing into the whomping willow on Saturday night?" I rushed out in a whisper.
James stiffened and stopped mid stride. His eyes grew wide and he immediately looked around to see if anyone had heard me, even though I had spoken in a hushed tone. Everyone around had been too absorbed in chatting and getting to class that no one had paid any attention to either of us, and aside from a few disgruntled looks at stopping in the middle of the corridor and disrupting the flow of traffic, they all resumed what they were doing and remained oblivious to the tense air that had suddenly engulfed the pair of us.
James quickly began to walk again and was silent for several moments, though I saw him glancing at me a few times as if undecided on telling me something.
"What are you talking about Bells?" He eventually asked with an unconvincing laugh.
"Come off it James, I saw the three of you!"
"Really? From where?" He asked sarcastically, now seeming to recompose himself.
"From just outside the Entrance Hall. I-"
"Hah! From that far you could have seen anyone, come on Bells don't be ridiculous. Why would we climb into a tree?" He was now walking so fast I had to jog slightly to keep up with him.
"James-" I began testily, but he cut me off.
"Well, have to go, here's McGonagall's office and you know she isn't a patient one!" With a mock salute he all but threw himself through the door and slammed it in my face.
I stood there for a few moments, unable to believe James.
The nerve of him! To pretend like it didn't happen, I've never seen such poor acting in my life!
I stalked off in the opposite direction toward the dungeons, knowing I'd be late to potions and all for naught.
I smiled at Lily as Slughorn called the class to an end, we had each very successfully brewed perfect Volubilis potions which were now a pleasant yellow and emitting sparks in the cauldrons just as we were instructed they should. Pouring my potion into a flask and stoppering it, I chatted idly with Lily as we deposited our potions on Slughorn's desk ("well done girls! Perfect as usual!" He beamed). I saw Sirius approach me from the corner of my eye and told Lily I'd catch up with her later. Rolling my eyes at her smirk, I turned to face Sirius and quickly told him I needed to speak with him urgently before he could so much as utter a hello.
Taken aback, he agreed at once, so we hung back, walking slowly behind the rest of the class as they filed out of the room.
I saw James glance back worriedly, trying to catch Sirius' eye, and I knew he'd been unsuccessful in passing on the details of our earlier conversation to Sirius during class after he'd returned from McGonagall's office.
I stared back at James defiantly and made sure Sirius didn't turn around to spot his best friend's frantic gestures.
"So what's up Bells?" Sirius asked, taking my hand and swinging it between us as we walked slowly through the almost empty corridor towards the Great Hall for lunch.
Glancing around, I pulled Sirius behind a tapestry. I remembered how distressed James had been that people might overhear my question so I wanted to make sure we were alone.
Sirius looked at me surprised, then smirked (I tried to suppress the leap my stomach gave at this). His smirk only grew wider as we heard a student whisper to her friend as they walked past the tapestry, "gosh can't they control themselves? It's lunch time!"
I ignored the giggles and waited blankly until all the noise subsided.
Sirius, who had been standing with his arms crossed, grinning roguishly at me, suddenly grabbed my waist and pulled me flush against him.
"All you had to do was ask Bells, I knew you missed me" he whispered as he leaned in, still with the smirk plastered on his face.
I put a hand against his mouth before he could kiss me and he opened his eyes, confused.
"I didn't pull you in here to snog you Sirius, I had to ask you something."
"Oh. Well fire away" he said, though his voice was muffled by my hand.
"On Saturday I saw you and Remus and James… climb into the whomping willow." Sirius had stiffened just like James had, only this time I physically felt it because of our proximity. This bodily reaction caused my concern and worry to morph into something more like suspicion.
I slowly removed my hand and added, "and before you even try to deny it like James did, I know I saw you, so please don't lie to me." I finished, looking desperately into his eyes.
I felt sure Sirius could hear my heart beating in the pin drop silence that surrounded us.
"Okay I won't lie to you," he began quietly, I saw complete sincerity and seriousness in his eyes, "but… I can't tell you."
"You can't…but why?" I whispered back.
"It's not my secret to tell Bella, but please please don't tell anyone?" He implored, and I was startled by his beseeching gaze. He was now gripping my shoulders. "You can't tell anyone" he repeated.
"I won't" I agreed quickly, "I haven't told anyone else yet and I won't, you don't have to worry about that." I saw the relief flood into his face and some of the tension on his forehead ease. I felt a stab of exasperation that he was more concerned with me not telling other people than actually answering my question. "But I don't understand why I can't know! You're my boyfriend, and James and Remus are my friends, I just want to know you're not doing anything that is going to kill you! Can't you trust me?" I finished even more quietly.
He let go of my shoulders and sighed. Running a hand through his hair he replied, "Of course I trust you Bells, but like I said, it's not something I can tell you about, it wouldn't be right. I'm sorry."
"So…it's more than just a late night adventure isn't it?"
"Yes."
A long silence ensued where I looked down at my feet, unsatisfied with the conversation.
"I can promise that we're definitely not going to get killed though," he added with a grin, lifting my face with a finger.
"Okay…" I said uncertainly. "I don't like this but I will respect what you're saying and trust you on it."
The way he smiled at me when I said that almost made me forget about it completely.
"So...now I can kiss you?"
I had a chat with James in the common room the same day as my talk with Sirius, and I told him that I knew it was them climbing into the tree but since Sirius had told me it's a secret that can't be shared, I wouldn't tell anyone or keep bothering them about it.
James had been very relieved and told me he hadn't told Remus about what I saw so he requested that I don't let him know that I saw anything at all. I reluctantly agreed.
It had now been a couple of weeks since the whomping willow discovery as I liked to refer to it in my head, and I still found it incredibly hard to forget about it.
The conversations I had with the boys only served to increase my curiosity. Before, I had assumed it was just another passage or room they had discovered on an adventure and used it to pass the time. All I had wanted to know was what they were doing and as long as they were safe I wouldn't have cared how often they did it. But their alert and worried reactions had made it clear that it was something much deeper and secretive that was happening, and my mind was filled with all sorts of unpleasant possible situations. I tried to tamp down on these concerns, reminding myself that they had been disappearing like this for years and they had been just fine, but it was useless trying to reassure myself, nothing could quash the uneasiness that I felt when I thought about what they could be doing.
Shaking out of my unpleasant reverie, I was pulled back to reality by a loud exclamation by James,
"Really Bells, walk faster! I'm Head Boy, I need to be on patrol soon!" He urged.
We had been sitting by the fire in the common room and Sirius and Peter had fallen asleep on the soft chairs. Given Remus was already out on patrol as a prefect, and James wasn't due to start his shift for another hour, we both decided to make a trip to the kitchens where we happily stuffed ourselves full of leftover treacle tart and discussed our upcoming quidditch match against Ravenclaw in a few weeks time. "We're going to thrash the living daylights out of them," James had managed to say between a large bite of tart, "I'm going to try and catch the snitch before they can score a single point!"
This conversation had continued as we walked back to the common room under James' invisibility cloak. We had been laughing at how the Ravenclaw seeker had sneered at us during one breakfast but after we beat Slytherin by 200 points, he couldn't meet our eyes and turned rather pale. "He nearly wet his nickers when he passed me on the staircase today – more skittish than Abigail Florence in the Forbidden Forest!" We had both laughed uproariously at that before abruptly quietening and hurrying along when we heard a prefect nervously call out "Who's there?!"
The mention of the Forbidden Forest had caused my mind to wander to the whomping willow and how I was strangely certain the other end of it led into the forest and that's where the boys were probably spending their 'late night adventures'. Before I could keep thinking about it however, James had snapped me out of my daze and hurried me along as I was walking about a foot behind him.
"Sorry sorry-"
"Shhhhhh" He halted abruptly and threw an arm across to stop me as well.
I stilled and strained my ears. Hushed but angry whispers could be heard a few feet ahead of us.
James and I both inched carefully closer.
"What do you think you're doing Regulus? I need to get to the owlery!"
I jolted as I recognised the irritated voice. James tensed and muttered, "Snivellus."
"I know you did it!" Regulus whispered back angrily.
"Did what?" Snape shot back, equally as angry.
"You brewed the blister potion. You actually listened to Florence and went and brewed it for her. She told me today." Regulus seethed.
I gasped. They were talking about the blister potion that Abigail gave me. I turned slightly to glance and James. His face was furious and I knew he'd made the connection too.
"Yes I did, and I'd do it again. Why do you even care? She's just a filthy blood traitor with filthy friends!"
"James, no!" I whispered-yelled and tried to grab him but it was too late because he'd thrown off the cloak and ran forward at the two of them, drawing his wand.
"You pile of filthy troll dung!" James roared at Snape, wand pointed right at his hooked nose, "I'm going to hex you into oblivion!"
"James NO! You're - Head - Boy!" I struggled, I had grabbed him round the middle and was trying but failing to hold him back.
"What's going on here?!" We all looked ahead to see Sirius and Remus running toward us, looking alarmed.
As soon as Sirius saw Snape, his eyes darkened and he whipped out his own wand and pointed it at him.
"What happened?!" Remus asked again, rushing over to me and helping me restrain James.
"He did it!" James bellowed out in a strangled voice, still trying to break free of my grip and point his wand at Snape again, "He's the one that brewed the blister potion for Florence! The filthy toad-"
"He WHAT" Sirius roared and fixed Snape with a look filled with the utmost loathing.
I ran over to him seeing as Remus had taken over restraining James, and I tried to do the same with Sirius.
I stood directly in front of his wand with my arms outstretched, so that it blocked Snape. Sirius ripped his eyes away from Snape and glared at me, "Move Bella!"
"No! Just stop, what's done is done, don't create a fuss now-"
"That's right, listen to your little girlfriend Sirius, and be thankful it was only a blister potion and not something worse!" Snape sneered, successfully aggravating Sirius and James tenfold.
"You'll pay for brewing that!" Regulus shouted out to everyone's surprise, and I turned and saw that he too had his wand pointed at Snape.
A strange and turbulent silence echoed, as Snape was cornered. Yet his sneer grew even nastier.
"I brewed it for her because you asked her to come to me."
"What?" Regulus' jaw slackened, and Sirius and James rounded on him, now alternating between pointing their wands at Regulus and Snape.
"Florence came to me and requested that I'd brew it for her, but she told me she asked you first. That she knew you hated your brother and thought you would jump at the chance to poison Harper," Snape continued on with glee as Regulus looked alarmed, "but she said you dismissed her saying 'I don't know how to brew something like that, just go find someone in your own year like Snape or something'". He finished with a nasty gleam in his eye.
"What… No-I-I didn't… She actually… No-I didn't mean... I just said-"
"You absolute GIT!" I jumped as Sirius moved around me in a flash and grabbed Regulus by the collar and started shaking him, "YOU PLANNED THAT! YOU DARE TO HURT HER JUST TO GET TO ME?!"
"NO! I NEVER MEANT FOR HER TO BE POISONED! I just tried to brush Florence off! I didn't even remember that she came to me, that was months before she actually gave her the poisoned note…I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"
"RUBBISH!" Sirius gripped Regulus harder and looked like he wanted to throw him off the Astronomy Tower.
"Sirius STOP!" I pleaded, "it's just a misunderstanding! Let it go!"
Sirius froze, but didn't let go or turn to look at me, he only glared even more menacingly into Regulus' eyes, and I realised me stepping in had made him much angrier.
"What in Merlin's name is the reason for this ruckus?!" McGonagall came striding down the corridor, night robes billowing behind her and night cap bobbing animatedly on her head, her expression was positively livid.
Before anyone had a chance to explain, she shouted, "do you know what hour it is?! Everyone off to bed! I will be hearing from each of you tomorrow!"
James, Remus, Sirius and I stepped through the portrait hole in tense silence.
"You okay Bells?" James asked somewhat gruffly. When I had assured him quietly that I'm fine, he and Remus stalked off to the boys dormitories, comprehending that Sirius and I were about to have a long, private discussion.
"Sirius…" I began uneasily, he had his back turned away from me, facing the fire, "thank you for defending me but I think you need to be more careful, you can't let Snape provoke you."
"Provoke me?!" Sirius whipped around to face me and I nearly stumbled back at his furious gaze. "He poisoned you! You expect me to twiddle my thumbs and listen to the recipe?!" He bit out, voice rising.
"It's in the past! There's no point bringing it up now!" My own voice was rising, as was my temper. "And you should apologise to Reg, he really didn't do anything wrong, in fact he was actually calling Snape out on it before you arrived!"
"Reg?" He scoffed incredulously, "you're on nickname basis with that evil git?"
"He's NOT an evil git!" I fumed.
We both paused and glared at each other.
"You've been speaking to him. And hiding it from me." He stated blandly, as if he didn't care, but it was obvious he did.
"Well…yes." I answered, "but not hiding it from you!" I added quickly when I saw his face flicker with hurt. "I just never knew how to bring it up."
"I see. What a dilemma. So you just decided to keep it a secret from me. Leaving me blissfully and stupidly in the dark."
"Well you have your secrets too!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. "You think I don't get suspicious at what you're doing climbing into a tree and running around the Forbidden Forest at night?! But do I hassle you and interfere? NO! You asked me to trust you and so I did, so you should just jolly well do the same!" I was breathing hard, but Sirius had become very still.
No sound or movement was heard in the common room as we stared at each other in silence. The fire had long since gone out and the moonlight that filtered in through the window cast an eerie light on Sirius' stony face.
I wished I could immediately take back what I had just said. I could read volumes in the emotions of his eyes, though he was trying to look blank. I knew at once I shouldn't have compared the two scenarios. I knew Sirius would tell me what he and the boys were doing if he could, but he didn't want to break the trust of his friends. Whereas I imagined how bad what I was doing looked like to Sirius – his girlfriend sharing secrets with his brother, the person he trusted least in this school.
"Fine." Sirius finally spoke up, coolly, "I won't interfere."