AN: Hi everyone! Thank you so, so much for your kind reviews. I'm floored. I never would have thought I'd get this amazing feedback, but you guys are so welcoming. Also: The people have spoken. You demanded a smutty chapter at the end of this story, and who am I to deny you some Darvey lovin'? So we have one more chapter that will conclude the fic next week, and then I hope I'll be done with an M-rated bonus chapter the week after.

Previously... Donna wanted to drop by Harvey's place to surprise him with a movie night to thank him for having taken care of her while she was sick with the flu. But he wasn't there, which led her to the conclusion that he must be on a date. The truth was that Harvey went to a jazz club after work to clear his head.

Tuesday. Or: Back And Forth

Donna felt miserable. She wanted to slap herself for allowing those damn feelings to resurface only to be shattered. Again. Long forgotten her cold, she now felt heartbroken. She sighed and swung the duvet to the right side of the bed. As she walked in her kitchen, she felt mocked by everything he had brought into her apartment. The one year supply of citrus, the tea on her kitchen counter and the images of them having dinner at the table flashing in her head.

Why was she never learning a lesson with this man? Hasn't she felt bad enough over the years? Masking her jealousy by playfully asking about last night's conquest. Giving him guff about calling Zoe Lawford behind her back when she really was hurt by it. Faking happiness for him whenever Scottie was back in town. She was older now and supposedly wiser, but when it came to her heart, Donna was seemingly resistant to learning that lesson. Part of her thought it was because of her positivity in life. She had hope beyond hope sometimes. Maybe that was what made her so different from Harvey. He never allowed himself to hope for his own happiness. She assumed his profession contributed to that attitude in a major way. That, as well as his past with his family. On top of having seen how love had destroyed his father, Harvey was confronted with people who were damaged by others on a daily basis.

He had seemed so different in the last few days. He seemed happy. Perhaps happy because of having spent more time with Donna, or at least her vanity led her to believe just that. But, alas, of course he was seeing someone. Timing was never their strong suit. She was too familiar with his character as well as with his schedule to assume otherwise. Harvey only ever finished work early for two reasons, and she didn't know if basketball was in season. But on the other hand it hadn't escaped Donna that Harvey had changed his clothes on Sunday morning and she could swear there was a duffle bag in her entryway when she threw him out of her apartment. This meant that he planned ahead. For her. And she couldn't deny the look of pure hurt in his eyes when she asked him to leave. If he was really hurt by her, why would he go on a date the very next day? She was sure it was only disappointment on his side because of changed plans. Because if there was one thing Donna knew it was that he never fell in love with women. He said it himself. Caring makes you weak. Harvey hates to be weak, hence doesn't care about anyone. And like the time at her diner when he asked her to work for him, she felt rejected by him. Maybe he was her weakness. But she knew from experience that she couldn't assume he was happy because of her. She had made that mistake once, and the bitter taste of that memory lingered in her mouth ever since.

Donna opened the refrigerator and wondered if it was too soon for her other weakness: a pint of Chunky Monkey. She pushed the self-pity away and squared her shoulders. She couldn't let the fact that Harvey wasn't interested in her destroy her. Just because he was on a date didn't mean all hope was lost. If he even was on a date. She didn't know that, nor could she possibly find out. And she quicky decided against grilling Julio about Harvey's whereabouts or when and with whom he had come home the night before. The thought was tempting though...

By the time Harvey had enough time to think about his situation with Donna, it was well in the afternoon of another exhausting day at work. He had already replayed their every conversation over the last couple days over and over in his head. Even his talks with his brother popped in there from time to time. Marcus had been right with two things: Harvey hadn't been so scared for someone's life since their father died five years ago, and he had the most stable relationship of his whole adult life with Donna. The more he thought about it, about her, the less could he shake the feeling that maybe the latter wasn't such a coincidence. Maybe he hated so much to make room for someone else in his life because that spot was already taken. Possibly it never worked with anyone else because everything worked so well between himself and Donna. Well, not everything, but in his memory that portion of their relationship, even when it was 10 years ago, had been pretty damn perfect.

And Harvey knew what perfect really meant, since he knew Donna back when she wasn't perfect all the time. He smiled as he thought of how she would react to such a notion. She would deny ever not being perfect and that he was projecting his own shortcomings onto her or simply forgetting the details from over a decade ago. But in all honestly, it was one thing he really admired about her. She constantly worked on herself and other than him, she never dreaded admitting a mistake. She'd gladly make a mistake if it meant she was improving herself and thusly avoided making the same mistake in the future.

The night before, when Harvey was listening to a jazz trio at the club, he pondered the situation. He was so sure she felt it, the shift. But then her words from a couple weeks ago haunted him. I love you like a brother or a cousin. Those words had thrown him off entirely. Was he too presumptuous to think she loved him? Part of him was always hoping she had a thing for him because that was the only thing that would explain why she was always so nice to him. And kicked his ass when it needed kicking. No money in the world could buy such undeniable loyalty. Harvey was hoping - strike that - clawing to the notion that Donna had only said it to save face. He liked being admired by women, but he didn't want them to love him. That spot was saved for Donna only. Everyone else who might claim to love him didn't know the whole picture. And maybe Donna didn't either, but she came pretty close.

In the same conversation where he rehired her, she also completely negated that she, in fact, had once told him that she loved him. Well, she practically had told him as much. At the Pearson Hardman retreat. But they were more than tipsy, and Harvey knew Donna didn't necessarily mean it like that.

Right now he had two options. He could either keep being Donna's boss and longtime friend, or he could take a gamble and tell her how much he wanted to be more than that. He was so sick of not having everything he wanted in his personal life. He was at an age where these things mattered to him. And Harvey was someone who usually got what he wanted. All he had to do was gamble a little. Poker was one of his favorite games, so what did he have to lose? Everything, he thought. He could lose everything. It was a gamble he never wanted to risk taking. If she said no, there would be an awkward phase afterwards, but maybe they could get through it. Ultimately, it was better than not telling her and staying alone - and more importantly lonely. One-night stands with faceless women didn't seem thrilling or satisfying for him at the moment. Not after the last week. Harvey was ready for more, he needed more.

They barely talked about these things, but he was assuming Donna wanted more as well. He was hoping it was with him. Ever since he saw that she kept a picture of them at the Pearson Hardman retreat, he knew he could have a chance. That they could have a chance. There weren't many other photographs scattered about her place, and he doubted it was without purpose that she picked a photo of that specific night, a night where they were happy and a bit hammered and about a millimeter away from sleeping together again.

He was so sick obsessing over her. He needed clarity. But, he still had to get his work done. Harvey sighed and dove back into the Folsom Food case.

Later that night Donna took her phone to call Rachel. Asking Harvey's doorman Julio was off-limits, but maybe the paralegal could provide her with some information. On one hand, Donna didn't want to pursue the matter because she knew it was taking it too far, but at the same time she knew she only had one more day before she had to show up at the office again, and she preferred having all the facts she needed in order to act accoringly.

"Hi Donna," said Rachel cheerily.

"Hey Rach, how's it going?"

"It's going fine, though you probably know about the Folsom Food case," Rachel sighed.

"I do. It must be stressful," Donna replied, her voice full of empathy.

"It is."

"I'll be coming back to work on Wednesday, so I'll be able to help soon."

"That's good to hear. What's new with you?" Rachel asked, grateful for the change of topic.

"Same old, same old. My cold is getting better, and I realized I'm in love with Harvey, so..." Donna said noncommitally.

"Donna!" Rachel almost shrieked. "Tell me what happened!"

"Well, he was here every day until Sunday, and he took care of me. I should know better, but he was with me through it all, Rachel. I couldn't help it," Donna shrugged.

"Oh my God! What are you gonna do?" asked Rachel. She sounded half-serious, half-excited for her friend.

"What can I do? Nothing."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I know I can't do anything. I know he's probably seeing someone and that's why he wasn't at home last night. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time that we got closer and I somehow had to recover from that. I know he cares about me, but I can't let that cloud my judgment. Because he doesn't care about me in that way."

"Wait, how do you know he was out with somebody?"

"It's Harvey, Rachel. He's not the type to go out by himself. And even if he were, he's certainly not the type to come home by himself. He's the cockiest motherfucker anyone has seen."

"I don't know, Donna. We don't know where he was last night or with whom he was out. Not everyone screws random women," Rachel said and desperately tried not to sound bitter, which she didn't fully succeed at.

"Oh Rachel," Donna said. She was hurting for her friend who felt betrayed by Mike. She tried to lighten the mood. "Well, Harvey certainly wasn't mudding with Louis," said Donna and the two chuckled at the image. "Anyway, I still want to make it up to him for being there for me. So tomorrow night, I'm cooking for him. As a surprise. And I can't do it here. I need to get out of this place."

"OK, I need to tell you something. He told me not to, but I don't care. He asked me what he could do to make you feel better, and I told him how much you like the breakfast at Céline's. And I was also the one who told him about Katrina's cookies. He really cares about you, Donna. And not in a normal employer-employee relationship kinda way. He was honestly worried about you. We all were. But I've never seen him like this," explained Rachel.

Donna swallowed. It wasn't new to her how much he tried to be there for her, she just was unaware of the extend of it all. "He brought me croissants and raspberry jam from Céline's," she said meekly.

"I know. He already told me."

"Huh. Interesting," observed Donna.

"What?"

"It's interesting to me that Harvey talked to you about it after the fact. Why would he do that?" Donna wondered.

"I can make a few guesses," Rachel alluded.

"Don't say that Rachel, it's too much like the best friend in a romcom. I have to be careful with Harvey. I don't need more encouragement to dream about it all," she cautioned.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's OK. You just said out loud what half my brain says at any time. But the other half keeps track of the many instances where he backpedaled," Donna explained.

"I just wanna see someone actually succeed at relationships."

"It'll get better. Mike will see that sleeping with a married woman isn't the end-all be-all. He's hurting."

"I'm aware. Hurting people hurt people," Rachel reasoned.

"Exactly."

"I can't wait for you to come back to work," the paralegal said almost sadly.

"Me too. I'll return the day after tomorrow."

"What are you gonna do about Harvey?"

"As I said, I'll go over there for a little surprise dinner. And after that we'll have to talk. But I'm gonna be honest. I don't think I can throw caution to the wind with him. Ever."

"I get that. On Thursday you can tell me how it went."

"You bet."

"Good night, Donna."

"Nighty night," Donna said and hung up.

Harvey came home late that night and threw his keys on the kitchen counter. He discarded his jacket and waistcoat, and loosened his tie. As he walked over to his drink cart he scanned the Manhattan skyline and had to smile. He had achieved quite a bit in his life. He was professionally successful and he could buy all the things he liked. Rare records, expensive cars, the best clothes. And yet he had no idea how to lead a successful relationship. His brother's voice popped back in his head. It's not a coincidence that Donna is the person with whom you have the most stable relationship in your life. Has Harvey been mistaken? Was he indeed having a functional relationship with her? He didn't know. But he knew that if he was, it was mostly to Donna's credit. She made it work much more than the other way round. Now that he was thinking about it, their annual dinner at Del Posto was the closest thing to a couple's anniversary he ever celebrated. And it was an intimate ritual he treasured.

He poured himself a drink and stepped out on the terrace for a minute to let his gaze wander to the city lights. One thing was for sure. Harvey needed to talk to Donna about how much things had changed over the last week. With a hint of shame on his face he only then realized that it took Donna getting sick before he called his brother for the first time in months. He stayed out, lost in thought, until he shivered from the cold air. And as he stepped back into his living room, he knew that he'd love nothing more than to be warmed by her.

I know, you must hate me now. Again no Donna-Harvey scene. But this is the last chapter without them interacting! Next week you'll get plenty of that Darvey goodness. Did you like this chapter anyway? Then write me a review and let me know what you thought.