Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Star Wars or The Loud House.
Chapter 2: Droids for Sale
(On the desert planet Tatooine, Leni and Lisa exited the pod when it landed and start walking into the desert.)
Leni: Sooooo, what exactly are we looking for here?
Lisa: I'd inform you of my mission, but you'd forget too easily.
Leni: (offended) What're you talking about? I can help you.
Lisa: Yeah, I'll let you know when you can. (looks at a canyon in the distance) Let's make our way over there.
Leni: What? No way! That place is much too rocky! I've got to rest before my joints get all like, frozen. I don't think there are any malls over there.
Lisa: (annoyed) I don't think there are any malls on this desolate planet at all! Our best bet at encountering life forms is over there.
Leni: (upset) Don't get technical with me, Lisa! (points to the desert) This way is much easier.
Lisa: I told you to just leave everything to me! Lori assigned me the mission!
Leni: What mission?! Oh, never mind! I've had just about enough of you and your secrets! Go that way! Whadda I care?! (lightly kicks Lisa in the back and starts walking away into the desert) And don't come following me begging for help, because you won't get it!
Lisa: (frustrated) I'll still have to find you when I've completed the mission!
Leni: (calling out) And I hope you're ready to apologize when you do!
(The two droids go in opposite directions. After a little while of walking in the sand, Leni gets hot and tired and slows down.)
Leni: Ugh! Why'd I have to go out here all by myself? Why won't Lisa tell me what we're supposed to do? Does she not trust me? I trust her! (stops and starts crying) Oh, what did I do? I pushed my best friend away! I still could've learned what the mission is by going with her! I still could've helped! I'm so sorry, Lisa. I hope you'll do better than I am…
(Leni then spots a large object on the horizon coming her way. A blinking light is coming from it.)
Leni: (relieved) Is that a transport? I'm saved! (starts running towards it) Over here! Hey! Please, help me!
(Lisa makes her way down a canyon in between some gargantuan rock formations. She was unaware of figures watching her in the shadows.)
Lisa: (sighs) When will Leni understand there are some things she just can't know? I told her she still could've helped if she joined me. Doesn't she know the fate of the whole galaxy could be at stake here? (realizes something) No, she doesn't. I never told her that. (now sad) How could I have been so inconsiderate? She'd understand if I told her that. I also could've told her about the mission. Who cares if she'd forget? I'd just tell her again! (sighs) I'm sorry, Leni. Please forgive me when we meet again.
(Suddenly, she heard a noise and saw some rocks tumble down the canyon wall.)
Lisa: Be stable, Lisa. You don't know how far the nearest repair station is.
(She hears faint sounds and catches a glimpse of movement behind the rocks.)
Lisa: I did nothing to antagonize anyone. What? An R2 unit can't just roll down the desert no more?
(A small brown-cloaked hooded figure with a stun gun suddenly jumps out of nowhere and zaps her. She short circuits and speaks gibberish before falling down, unconscious. The cloaked figure, a Jawa, speaks in an alien language and calls out. Other jawas come out from behind the rocks. They speak to each other as they inspect Lisa. Then they pick her up and carry her out of the canyon and to their Sandcrawler, a huge, brown tank-like vehicle. The stuff her in the cargo hold and drive off. The sun goes down and day turns to night.)
(Inside the hold, Lisa remains unconscious until another R2 unit droid pokes her with a metal arm. Lisa slowly wakes up groaning and finds herself next to Darcy with a red and white cylinder body. She also sees numerous droids around the hold.)
Darcy: Oh, you're awake! Welcome to the droid party! I'm Darcy-D4. We're gonna have so much fun together.
Lisa: (annoyed) Are you short-circuited? We've been captured against our will! How exactly are we supposed to party in here?
Darcy: There's a lot of droids in here. That counts as a droid party! The addition of you and the tall, gold one makes it even better!
Lisa: "Tall, gold one"?
Leni: (happy) Lisa! (hugs Lisa tightly) I'd thought I'd never see you again! I'm so sorry for not trusting you!
Lisa: (smiling) Well, I'm sorry, too. I'll inform of the mission as soon as we get out of her. No one else in here needs to know.
Leni: You got it! Just you and me, buddy!
(The next morning, several stormtroopers in desert gear inspect the sight where the escape pod landed. They find Leni and Lisa's footprints in the sand.)
Stormtrooper #1: Someone was in the pod. These tracks go off in this direction.
Stormtrooper #2: (holding up a piece of gold metal) Look, sir. Droids!
Stormtrooper #3: (holding up a copper coin) Look, a penny!
(The sandcrawler moves over some dunes and approaches a homestead. It comes to a stop. Inside, Leni and Lisa are bounced around the cramped chamber. A minute after they stop, a hatch opens in the hold filling it with sunlight. A group of Jawas enter and begin taking droids out.)
Leni: (frightened) Oh, dear. These creatures will melt us down! Will this never end!?
Lisa: Easy, these are just Jawas. Small scavengers who trade in mechanical scrap. All they do is capture droids so they can sell them to people.
Leni: People who live out here? Who'd want to live out here?
(The Jawas take the duo out of the sandcrawler after putting electrical restraining bolts on their torsos. They droids see they're in front of a homestead consisting of some large holes in the ground surrounded by several moisture vaporators and a small adobe block house. The Jawas line up the droids and straighten them out and dust them off.)
(Out of the shadows of a side-building, a brown-haired man in a sandy yellow robe and a white-haired boy wearing white rugged clothes walk out and approaches the sandcrawler. A jawa walks up to greet them speaking in its language.)
Lynn Sr: Alright, show us what you got.
(They began to walk over to the droids until the boy heard a woman's voice.)
Rita: Lincoln! Lincoln!
(The boy, named Lincoln, ran over to one of the large holes in the ground and looked down at a courtyard with rooms built in the sides. A blonde-haired woman in a blue jacket and purple skirt is down there looking up at him.)
Rita: Lincoln, tell your uncle if gets a protocol droid, make sure it resembles a teenage girl.
Lincoln: Doesn't look like we have much of a choice but I'll remind him.
(Lincoln sprints back over to the sandcrawler as Lynn Sr. looks over the droids. He takes an interest in Darcy.)
Lynn Sr: Yeah, I'll take the red one.
Darcy: Ooooh! I'm the first one chosen! This is exciting!
(Lynn Sr. sees Leni.)
Lynn Sr: You. I suppose you're programmed for etiquette and protocol.
Leni: Protocol? Why It's only my primary function, sir! I'm well equipped in all functions!
Lynn Sr: I've no need for a protocol droid…
Leni: (interrupting) Why of course you don't, sir! Not for a place such as this!
Lynn Sr: …What I really need is a droid that understands the binary language of moisture vaporators.
Leni: Vaporators? Well, you're in luck! My first job was speaking to binary load lifters at a space mall. They're very similar to vaporators. Quite friendly machines.
(Lincoln comes up to them.)
Lincoln: Uncle Lynn, remember that Aunt Rita wants a protocol droid that looks like a teenage girl.
Leni: Oh, yes! That's me, alright! I was designed to be the friendliest face for any…
Lynn Sr: Alright, shut up! (turns to the Jawa salesman) I'll take this one too.
Leni: (smiling) Shutting up, sir.
Lynn Sr: Lincoln, take the red one and this gold one over to the garage, will you? I want you to have both of them cleaned up before dinner.
Lincoln: (whining) But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters…
Lynn Sr: You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done. Now come on, get to it!
Lincoln: (sighs and turns to Leni) Alright, come on. (to Darcy) And the red one, come on. (Darcy doesn't move) Well, come on, Red! Let's go.
(Darcy struggles to move as she follows Lincoln and Leni. Lisa watches them leave and tries to follow them.)
Lisa: Hey! I must be accompanied by that gold droid!
(Leni turns around and sees Lisa trying to follow. A Jawa steps in front of her and uses a remote that activates the restraining bolt on her and freezes her in place.)
Darcy: I-I… don't f-feel so… g-good…
(A plate on Darcy's head opens up and sparks shoot out followed by smoke. Darcy makes a brain-dead face.)
Lincoln: Uncle Lynn, this R2 unit has a bad motivator!
Lynn Sr: (to the Jawas, disappointed) Hey, what're you trying to push on us?
(The Jawas begin ranting in their language. Leni taps Lincoln on his shoulder.)
Leni: (points to Lisa) Excuse me, sir, but that R2 unit is in really good condition. I know her. She's a real bargain!
Lincoln: (points to Lisa) Uncle Lynn, what about that blue one?
Lynn Sr: Yeah, that one's better. We'll take her.
(The Jawas take Darcy back and let Lisa roll up to the others.)
Lisa: (proudly) I am guaranteed first-class condition. We shall get much difficult tasks done with my assistance!
(While Lynn Sr. pays the Jawas, Lincoln leads the two droids into the home.)
Lincoln: Right this way, girls.
(They walk toward the entrance.)
Leni: (to Lisa) Well, here's our new home. We'll have fun with this boy!
Lisa: Don't get too comfortable. I must still carry out my mission. Let's just adapt to this shelter, first.