Happy May the 4th, everyone! Ironic how the Loud House anniversary is just two days before Star Wars Day. What are the odds? Well, we don't really need to know. The wise words of Han Solo (and later Bobby Soltiago): "Never tell me the odds".
Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Star Wars or the Loud House.
Chapter 9: Rescue the Princess
(In a small command office, that overlooks the port, an engineer works on a computer and an officer sees the stormtroopers guarding the ship weren't there.)
Officer: (in a comlink) TX-four-one-two, why aren't you at your post? TX-four-one-two, do you copy?
(He sees the short stormtrooper walk down the ramp of the ship. He looks up at the officer and points to his ear, indicating his comlink is not working. The officer nods to him and goes to the door of the room.)
Officer: We've got a bad transmitter. I'll see what I can do.
(He opens the door and finds himself face-to-face with Ronnie Anne and the tall stormtrooper. Before he can react, Ronnie Anne jumps up and punches his face really hard, sending him crashing in the corner and knocking him out. The engineer reaches for his blaster but the stormtrooper quickly shoots him. With the room clear, they go in followed by Luna, Leni, Lisa and the other stormtrooper. The tall one takes off his helmet, revealing to be Bobby. The short one closes the door and takes his helmet off, revealing to be Lincoln.)
Lincoln: (to Bobby and Ronnie Anne, irritated) You know, between the punching and blasting from you two, it's a wonder the whole station doesn't know we're here!
Bobby: (disgusted) Well, bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around.
Ronnie Anne: Yeah, we don't work too well with stealth.
Leni: We found the computer outlet, sirs.
Luna: Plug Lisa in. She should be able to interpret the entire computer system.
(Lisa extends her metal arm in the control panel and a map of the station appears on the monitor. She begins scanning the network and after a few moments, finds something.)
Lisa: I found the primary system that controls the tractor beam. Now finding the precise location. (scans some more) The tractor beam is coupled to the main reactor in seven locations. It takes all of them to bring the tractor beam to life. So a simple loss of power at one of the terminals will allow the ship to depart with no issues.
(Luna studies the data on the monitor readout carefully.)
Luna: I don't think you dudes can help. I must go alone.
Bobby: Whatever you say. I ain't taking any more risks.
Lincoln: (to Luna) I wanna go with you.
Luna: Be patient, Lincoln. You must stay here and watch over the droids. They must delivered safely to the Rebellion or other star systems across the universe will suffer the same fate as Alderaan.
(Lincoln tries to protest, but gives in. Luna opens the door and puts her hand on Lincoln's shoulder.)
Luna: (warmly) Remember, the Force will be with you, always.
(She adjusts her lightsaber on her belt and silently steps out of the room. Lincoln watches her until she disappears down the hallway. He closes the door.)
Ronnie Anne: Well, as odd as she seems, she's quite courageous.
Bobby: Yeah, although her courage might make her a little crazy. (to Lincoln) Where did you find her again.
Lincoln: Luna's a great person.
Bobby: Yeah, great at getting us into trouble.
Lincoln: She's gonna come through. Besides, I didn't hear you give any ideas.
Bobby: Well, anything would be better than just hanging around waiting for him to pick us up.
Ronnie Anne: Yeah, what're we supposed to do right now?
Lincoln: You guys really have no pa-
Lisa: (surprised and excited) I don't believe it… She's here! I've found her!
(Confused, everyone looks over to her as she still accesses the computer.)
Leni: I'm afraid we're not not quite sure what mean, Lisa.
Lincoln: Yeah, who have you found?
Lisa: Who do you think? It's Princess Lori!
Leni: (gasps) For real!? She's okay!?
Lincoln: (amazed) The princess!? She's here!?
Bobby: Princess? What's going on?
Lisa: Level five. Detention block AA-23.
Lincoln: She did say her ship was captured. Of course she was brought here!
Ronnie Anne: Whoa, whoa, slow down. Who is she?
Lincoln: She's the one in the message. The droids belong to her. She sent them to find Luna so she could take them to Alderaan.
Bobby: So, she's the reason we came out here in the first place?
Ronnie Anne: Apparently so.
Lisa: Oh, sweet mother of discovery… she's been scheduled to be terminated!
Leni: (panicking) What!?
Lincoln: (worried) Oh, no…
Leni: They can't do that! She's too nice and awesome!
Lincoln: We've got to do something!
Ronnie Anne: What're you talking about?
Lincoln: She's with the Rebel Alliance. We've got to help her!
Bobby: Now wait, don't get any funny ideas. Luna wants us to wait right here.
Lincoln: She didn't know Lori was here. (to Lisa) Can you find a way into the detention block?
Bobby: (sitting down) I'm not going anywhere. I already got more than I bargained for on this trip.
Lincoln: They're gonna execute her. Look, a minute ago, you said you didn't want to wait around and be captured. Now wanna stay?
Bobby: Marching right into the detention area is not what I had in mind.
Ronnie Anne: It does seem like walking right into the hornet's nest.
Lincoln: But there gonna kill her!
Bobby: And us too most likely if we try anything.
(Lincoln turns away to think for a minute. Then he turns back to them.)
Lincoln: She's rich, you know.
Bobby: Rich?
Lincoln: Yeah, rich and powerful. I mean, obviously, you won't be getting any payment for taking us to Alderaan. But if you were to rescue her and bring her back to the Rebels, the reward would be exactly what you need. Maybe even more than you can imagine.
Ronnie Anne: You know, he's got a point, Bobby.
Bobby: I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit.
Lincoln: You'll get it!
Bobby: I better!
Lincoln: You will!
Ronnie Anne: I say we should do this!
Bobby: Alright, kid, you've convinced me. You better be right about this.
Lincoln: Thank you.
Bobby: We still gotta find a way in. So what's your plan?
Lincoln: Well, these disguises give me an idea. And we can use these cuffs.
(He picks up some shackles on the table and goes up to Ronnie Anne with them.)
Lincoln: You ever had these on you, before?
Ronnie Anne: A few times. They don't do anything for me, though. I can find a way to break out of them.
Lincoln: Well, you can do that when we get to the detention block. You're our prisoner and we're transporting you there.
Bobby: Oh, I see what your doing. Very clever.
Ronnie Anne: Hiding right in plain sight. Those Imperials are gonna know I'm dangerous!
(Lincoln puts the shackles on Ronnie Anne. He and Bobby put their helmets on, pick up their blasters and head for the door.)
Leni: Uh, Lincoln? Pardon me for asking, but, ah, what should Lisa and I do if someone who's not on our side comes in here?
Lincoln: Lock the door.
Bobby: And hope they don't have blasters.
(They leave the room leaving the two droids alone.)
Leni: That's not very reassuring.
(Lincoln, Bobby and Ronnie Anne walk casually down the long hallways trying look inconspicuous. While moving down a seemingly empty hall, a small mouse droid rolls up to them. They stop to look down at it. Ronnie Anne growls at it. The mouse droid turns around and scurries away.)
Mouse droid: Holy crap!
(The mouse droid moves fast down the hallway and meets another one.)
Mouse droid #1: You won't believe what I just seen!
Mouse droid #2: Try me.
Mouse droid #1: A little girl wearing Wookiee fur!
Mouse droid #2: What!? For real!
Mouse droid #1: I'm serious! She growled at me!
Mouse droid #2: Aw, man! Why is everything bigger than us!?
Mouse droid #1: I'm so frightened! Feel my hands shake!
Mouse droid #2: You ain't got no hands. You're a little truck!
(The trio continues to move towards their objective. The eventually pass several officers, engineers and stormtroopers but none seem to notice them with suspicion. Their act of a prisoner transport was working. They get to a hallway with elevators and wait for one. The doors open up and they step in. An officer tries to get in with them but Bobby stops him and points to Ronnie Anne indicating she was dangerous and he shouldn't be with them. The officer leaves and the doors close.)
Lincoln: I can't see a thing in this helmet.
(In another hallway, several stormtroopers walk through an intersection. Luna pokes her head from behind a corner and moves across the intersection. In another hallway, Darth Lola walks along and looks around suspiciously.)
(In the elevator, Bobby loosens the cuffs on Ronnie Anne so she can break out of them.)
Bobby: This is not gonna work.
Lincoln: Then why didn't you say so before?
Bobby: I did say so before!
Ronnie Anne: Fellas, just get me a blaster and we'll take 'em all down. Nothing to it.
(The elevator door opens up and they see they've arrived at the detention center security area with officers and Death Star troopers occupying it. The Imperials notice them.)
Officer: Where are you taking this… little girl?
Lincoln: Prisoner transfer for cell block 1138.
Ronnie Anne: Can I get a room by the pool?
Officer: (laughs) That's funny because you're a prisoner and there is no pool in the Death Star. (stops laughing). But seriously, I wasn't notified so I'll have to clear it.
(The officer goes on the computer at the desk while two troopers approach Ronnie Anne to take her away. The trio silently nod to each other. Then Ronnie Anne suddenly breaks out of the shackles and punches the two troopers, sending them crashing to the walls.)
Lincoln: Look out, she's loose!
Bobby: She'll tear us apart!
Lincoln: Go get her!
(The startled guards in the room are momentarily dumbfounded. Ronnie Anne grabs a blaster from a trooper. Lincoln and Bobby pulls out their blasters and they all open fire. They hit security cameras, gate controls and the guards who aren't quick enough to respond. The officer at the desk is shot just before he can push the security alarm. When the room is clear, they go to the desk where a comlink is buzzing. They quickly check the computer readout.)
Bobby: We gotta out which cell this princess of yours is in…
Ronnie Anne: Here it is, cell 2187.
Bobby: (to Lincoln) Okay, you go get her. I'll hold 'em here.
(Lincoln races out of the room and down the cell bay. Bobby takes his helmet off and speaks into the comlink.)
Bobby: (sounding official) Um… everything's under control. Situation normal…
Intercom: What happened?
Ronnie Anne: (whispering) Tell them it was nothing serious.
Bobby: (through comlink) Uh… had a slight weapons malfunction. But we fixed it. So… everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you… How are you?
Ronnie Anne: (whispering and panicking) What're you doing!? Bad guys don't ask each other how there're doing!
Bobby: (whispering) I know! I know! I wasn't thinking!
Intercom: We're sending a squad up.
Ronnie Anne: See! They know you're not one of them!
Bobby: (through comlink) Uh… negative, negative. We have a reactor leak in here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.
Intercom: Who is this? What's your operating number?
Ronnie Anne: Okay, that's it. Cover's blown.
(Bobby says nothing else. He picks up his blaster and shoots the comlink.)
Bobby: Boring conversation anyway. (turns to hallway) Lincoln! We're gonna have company!
(Lincoln hears him and moves faster down the hall. He finally finds the cell he was looking for and opened the door. He sees Lori laying on the bench looking absolutely depressed. Lincoln was saddened by the sight and felt the urge to hug her. Lori notices him and gives him an uncomprehending look.)
Lori: (smirks) Wow, you're literally too short for a stormtrooper.
Lincoln: What? Oh, the uniform. (removes his helmet) I'm Lincoln Loudwalker, I'm here to rescue you.
Lori: You're who?
Lincoln: I'm here to rescue you. I've got your droids with me. I'm here with Luna Kenobi.
Lori: (surprised and relieved) Luna Kenobi!?
Lincoln: Yep. Suddenly, my height doesn't matter anymore, does it? Now, come on!
(They run out of the cell. In the conference room, Lola meets with Flip.)
Lola: She is here…
Flip: Luna Kenobi? What makes you so sure?
Lola: A tremor in the Force. I haven't felt it since I was last in the presence of my old master.
Flip: Surley, she must be dead by now.
Lola: Don't underestimate the Jedi, and don't call me "Shirley".
Flip: The Jedi are extinct. There fire's been out for years. You, ma'am are the last of them.
(The comlink on the table buzzes. Flip answers it.)
Flip: Yes?
Intercom: We have an emergency alert in detention block AA23.
Flip: (alerted) The princess! Put all sections on alert!
Intercom: Yes, sir.
Lola: Luna is here. The Force is strong with her.
Flip: If that's true, she must not be allowed to escape.
Lola: Escape is not her plan. I must face her, alone!
(She marches out of the room. In the hallway on the lower levels, Luna continues to move quietly between corners. In the detention center control room, Bobby and Ronnie Anne here the elevator buzzing. They take positions behind the desk.)
Bobby: Get behind me!
(A hole in the elevator doors blows open and stormtroopers begin to emerge. The duo start shooting and slowly move back towards the cell hallway. More troops enter the room and the duo fired at them some more before running down the hall.)
Stormtrooper: Watch your left. They went down the cell bay.
(Bobby and Ronnie Anne stop some distance from the entrance as Lincoln and Lori come up to them.)
Bobby: Can't get out that way.
Lori: Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route.
Bobby: (sarcastically) Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, your highness.
(The stormtroopers shoot at them from the cell bay entrance. Lincoln and Lori move to the left side of the hall while Bobby and Ronnie Anne move to the right. They return fire while Lincoln takes out a small comlink transmitter.)
Lincoln: (through the comlink) Leni! Leni, do you read me…! Are there any other ways out of the cell bay? We've been cut off…! What was that? I didn't copy!
(In the control tower by the hanger.)
Leni: (through the comlink) Lisa says all systems are like alerted to where you are. The main entrance is only way in or out. Everything else is restricted.
(Suddenly, they hear a banging and a voice at the door.)
Stormtrooper: Open up in there!
Leni: (worried) Uh, oh.
Lisa: Come on. Into the closet.
(In the cell bay, they're crouched alcoves on either sides for cover as they exchange fire with the troops.)
Lincoln: There's no other way out!
Ronnie Anne: We can't hold 'em off forever! Now what!?
Lori: (disappointed) This is some rescue! You got in here somehow. You couldn't have a plan for getting out!?
Bobby: (points to Lincoln) He's the brains, sweetheart!
Lincoln: (sheepishly) Well, I didn't…
(Lori scoffs and grabs Lincoln's blaster. She sees a large vent on the other wall and shoots it open.)
Bobby: What the hell are you doing!?
Lori: Well, someone's gonna have to save our skins! (gives Lincoln back the blaster and climbs in the vent) Into the garbage chute, flyboy!
(Lori slides into the vent. Ronnie Anne starts to follow but stops.)
Bobby: Get in there!
Ronnie Anne: (disgusted) I'm not going in there! It smells like Gungan puke!
Bobby: (exasperated) I don't care what you smell! Just get in there and don't worry about it!
Ronnie Anne: Oh, I can't…
Bobby: (pulls out a pretzel) Not even if I throw this?
Ronnie Anne: Don't you da…
(Bobby throws the pretzel into the chute and Ronnie excitedly goes after it. Bobby and Lincoln continue firing back at the stormtroopers.)
Bobby: Wonderful girl! Either I'm gonna kill her or I'm beginning to like her! (shoots some more) Get in there!
(Lincoln runs across and slides in the chute. Bobby stands in the middle of the hall, fires a couple more shots and dives into the chute.)
Bobby: Aaaagggghhhh!