Chapter 15: Remembering Shanxi

Saren wanted to yell or scream, do anything to show his raw disgust at being controlled like this. He knew that he needed to pay for the sins he had unknowingly committed but, he didn't know that the spirits were always this cruel. The Human pawn for Harper claimed they wanted him to be 'himself' and yet they were using a control chip to drag him away from what he loved most. His feelings for Garrus caused him to make his deal with Sovereign in the first place, like any good Turian, family was what defined him. How could he possibly be 'himself' if Harper took that ability away from him? The Human probably saw this as just a continuation in their twisted cycle of revenge that kept going and going, maybe he even found it ironic that Saren had traded one master for another. All Saren could do was swear to the spirits that once he found a way to get out of this control, he would choke the life out of this 'Illusive Man' once and for all.

While he would've loved to make the chip his top priority now, Saren felt Garrus was more important. If he was to try and find a private moment to just yank the blasted thing out of his head, they would surely quit treating Garrus' many serious injuries. Injuries that he still couldn't help but feel mostly responsible for, despite what Shepard said. Even after the immediate treatment was finished, Garrus would probably want to stay here and help Shepard defeat the Reapers. It wasn't like that was a bad goal or something but, here wasn't the place to do it. Cerberus would always be a threat to his safety no matter what Shepard tried to do for them both. Shepard was only given the illusion of control over the mission, Harper was the one who really ran the show, like always.

Shepard's raised voice caught his attention as they walked away from the medbay, "Was that really necessary? Saren didn't have to be a part of this meeting and you know it."

He continued to be surprised at the way Shepard wasn't like the majority of his kind. He took a pro alien, pro cooperation approach to most issues and yet it still amazed Saren. The Human was taking a terrible risk by just letting him stay on the ship even after the Citadel but, he had done it anyways. Shepard actually took responsibility for his part in Garrus' injuries, and he was sticking up for him now. It was probably the Turian blood pumping through his veins Saren had decided, Human's on their own weren't naturally like this. He wondered if his Turian father had the courage to reach out to his son at any point, given the fact that the Hierarchy wasn't in political chaos, probably not.

Miranda took a calm yet icy cold tone that reminded him of his own in his worst moments, "I don't know, was it 'necessary' to go behind my back and request this meeting in the first place? Or how about Kal ripping apart the Captain's Qua-"

Shepard interrupted her, "So your trying to tell me you didn't install listening devices in my room?" When she said nothing he continued, "That's what I thought, maybe I like having a room with some privacy. Regardless, I was talking to EDI and she forwarded the request. I didn't think I had to ask you as well who I can talk to on my own ship."

She turned her head away from him and kept walking forward, "Fair enough Shepard, next time you want to have a conversation with The Illusive Man you should run it by me. It's my job as Operative to relay concerns you may have, I would hope you don't continue to undermine the chain of command."

A female synthetic voice spoke through the intercom, "I apologize Ms. Lawson, I was only trying to reduce your work load as per my functioning."

Miranda took a neutral tone, "It's alright EDI, just change your programming so that all crew requests are forwarded to my desk."

They entered what had to be the conference room and Saren noticed holograph projectors flickering to life. Once the door behind him closed, the room's lights faded away and the projectors illuminated the walls with a soft orange glow. It was incredible to watch the entire room melt away and be replaced by what had to be the interior of a space station. Interstellar communication had certainly come a long way since Humanity first entered the galactic stage. He remembered the struggles of trying to reach out to Garrus on the Citadel when he was near the edges of known space. Giving the new room around him a quick glance, Saren wasn't too surprised by how theatrical it appeared. Harper was always trying to make himself more important than he actually was and the view of a dying supergiant star behind him only enforced that belief.

The Illusive Man's projection stood in the middle of the room, "Shepard, I answered your request as fast as I was able. Has Mordin already come up with a way to stop the Collector seeker swarms?"

If Saren hadn't seen the holograph projectors before they activated, he would've assumed Harper was directly in front of him and attacked. The smugness, the arrogance, and the aristocratic attitude he was known for came off stronger than ever even with probably millions of lightyears away. Saren also observed Harper refused to meet his gaze or acknowledge his presence, a common interrogation tactic to make your subject feel less about themselves. However, he knew it was actually because Harper was afraid of him after Klendagon. The punches he had thrown over and over again, it had felt so good to blind the man that had taken everything from him on Shanxi.

Fourty-three years ago, Shanxi:

_o0o_

The winds from the radiation still whipped across the surface of the once beautiful Turian colony a month and a half later. He should've paid better attention in class during the discussion on planet destroying weapons. If Saren had been weak, he would've fallen over, even with the biohazard suit firmly attached to his form. Luckily, Desolas drilled into him the importance of being strong even in the face of adversity, never give up. It would be the only way to maintain the Arterius name in the eyes of the Hierarchy his brother stated constantly. So, Saren kept pushing his small legs forward towards the distress signal his brother had activated.

Saren had been excited when he heard the news from the school's principal that the war with the newcomers, the beings behind Relay 314 was over, it meant Desolas could come home. The days ticked by and there still had been no word from his significantly older brother about his return. The teachers at the school told him that the 25 year old must've just run off and found some girl from his unit to have a family with. Even though he had only just turned ten, Saren knew that was ridiculous, Desolas wouldn't leave him for some icky lady. They were the family unit and his brother would never had left him without saying a word. After a week and a half of waiting, Saren stole a gun from the armory, a biohazard suit, and Professor Laviticus' ship so he could track Desolas here.

Shanxi, the first and only Turian colony to be hit by the filthy aliens. He had to wonder why the Council hadn't done more to punish these intruders for making one of their worlds radiated for the next hundred years, wasn't that illegal? Of course it was but, the Council believed they had punished them enough by halting their military production. He was also worried for Desolas, why would he still be here when the war was over and the Hierarchy abandoned the planet? Saren didn't have a good answer for that so, he focused on walking towards the tall building that had been pinging Desolas' distress signal. The building itself must've been a nuclear fallout shelter since it was the only thing standing for miles around.

The door opened and Saren staggered inside, "Des? This isn't funny Des, quit playing hide and go seek so we can go home! I have a test to do tomorrow.."

Silence answered him and so, Saren clicked the safety off of the overly large weapon in his small hand as he slowly walked forward. While the room had sheets and blankets for Turian survivors scattered around, none of the Turians were there. What happened to them? His gut tensed with fear when he saw a trail of dried blue blood leading to another room, oh no. Saren ran as fast as he could after the trail pleading with the spirits for Desolas' safe return. They had already stolen his parents in the ship wreck, wasn't that enough? The room beyond made the entire world stop, Turians were hanging on racks like farm animals. Their plates had been torn off exposing vital organs to the open air.

Towards the back of the room he heard gibberish from a Human, translators hadn't caught up for everyone yet, "Damn, look at this ones dick! I'm glad we got him so he can't steal any of our women back home!"

Another unknown voice replied, "Maybe we should take a picture? You know like when you brought that fish picture you caught Ryder!"

Saren thought he was going to cry, these two Humans seemed to be celebrating over the corpse of Desolas. His guts were everywhere and his usually warm, green, friendly eyes were lifeless staring blankly into space. The carapace that had made up his brown protective plates were all over the floor, tossed casually like it was trash. The pain Desolas must've endured before his death overwhelmed Saren with a pure violent rage. Turian's would've never have done this to them, it wasn't a honorable death. Now these fools thought they had the right to pose in front of his body with that expression on their face?! Not thinking about the consequences, Saren pulled the trigger on his weapon but it missed, the gun was too big for him.

The first Human spun around grabbing his weapon, "Jesus, looks like we missed one. Good thing I saved my ammo."

The one known as Ryder replied, "The wars over and that's just a kid. Put the gun down Gilbert or we'll start another war right now."

A third voice spoke up from behind him, "Your right, we can't shoot him but we can't just leave him here either. Put him on a rack with the others, it'll be a good opportunity to study the differences in anatomy."

Ryder's eyes widened, "Jack, what are you saying? You want us to kill a kid? He obviously doesn't know anything important."

Jack lit some sort of paper stick and placed it in his mouth, "We can't take that risk Alec. Imagine your wife and children growing up without you. Gilbert, would you do the honors?"

Saren tried to run but was grabbed by the fringe and hooked to the wall. He kicked, screamed, and tried to bite wherever he could just like Desolas taught him. It was terrifying to watch the Humans start grabbing bloody tools to cut him with, he was going to experience the same pain everyone else here had. Then suddenly, flashing red and blue lights flashed outside the window, help had arrived. The three Humans quickly disappeared leaving him alone in a room full of dead Turians.

_o0o_

Present day:

Shepard took a deep breath, "No he hasn't, I'd like to go to the Citadel and reach out to the Council for support, I'm still a SPECTRE after all."

The Illusive Man paused regarding him, "The Council hasn't changed their position on the Reapers Shepard, what makes you think they'll change their minds now?"

Saren cut in, "He has me now, thanks to you, they'd have to listen to us both."

Harper finally let his robotic gaze land on him, "I was under the impression Reaper indoctrination erased the person's memory. How will the Council know your not just repeating Shepard's lies?"

Saren thought carefully about what he should say, it was up to him to make sure this meeting happened. While he didn't have any recollection of talking with Sovereign, or the beacon on Eden Prime, Cerberus didn't know that for certain. If he could make up a convincing enough story for the Council, Shepard wouldn't need to work with Cerberus anymore. It was probably the only way to keep Garrus safe and out of Harper's grasp, that was the most important thing Saren could do. He would feel safe getting rid of the blasted control chip once he knew they couldn't touch Garrus.

With that in mind, Saren kept the best diplomatic tone he could, "I still have fragments of Sovereign controlling my mind, making me do things I didn't want to do. Combined with Shepard's testimony I think the Council will have to see reason."

Harper shrugged and started walking back to his chair, "If you think you can convince them, by all means. Just remember, this isn't the same Council that granted you SPECTRE status Saren, times have changed."

Miranda looked between them like she couldn't believe it, "I'd like to make it known I'm against this plan. The risk to our crew could be astronomical if this goes south. If Shepard turns on us, we're done."

Harper knocked back a shot of orange alcohol, "How about a compromise then? Kal will stay on the ship during the trip, same with Garrus obviously."

Saren scoffed folding his arms, "I see your still not below taking hostages to get your way. I wouldn't treat them the same way you cared f-"

Miranda spoke up, "Freeze all motor functions. What you call hostage taking I'd call insurance. We aren't going to hold them at gun point while your gone, this is just a precaution."

Shepard gritted his teeth, "Anything else you want to add to the deal? Maybe I buy you a new business suit to give you some variety?"

Harper shook his head, "Just be ready to answer my call when I need a favor. I'll contact our partner on the Citadel, she'll get you in and out of Citadel security without questions asked. Good luck Shepard."

The conference room came back into focus and Shepard looked at him, "Thanks for backing me up, let's see if the Council is in a good mood."