Chapter twenty! The big 2-0! Also, I meant to bring it up last chapter, but I forgot so I'll just go ahead and mention it now. If you've ever wanted to picture just how perpetually exhausted this Keith looks, look no further than season 7, episode 6 bc that's it. That's how exhausted he looks 24/7. Canon is really out here giving me, personally, gifts.

With that said, until next time~!

cosmic dust

chapter twenty

restless night

The first thing he did was drop the yellow bayard. The second he let go of it, it transformed back, clattering uselessly against the floor.

The second thing he did? Protest.

"Nope." Hunk said. "Nun-uh. No way."

Him? The yellow paladin? No way that was right. He wasn't even a pilot! He ran away from fights, not towards them!

No. This had to be a mistake. Had to be. There was no other explanation.

"You activated the yellow bayard." Allura pointed out, her brow set in a slight furrow, as if she hadn't expected him to protest. "Therefore yes, you are the yellow paladin."

"I- couldn't it just be broken?" Hunk ventured. "I mean, Keith's is broken, what if the yellow bayard is just like... broken in reverse?"

"I don't think it works like that." Keith observed, lips set in a tight line.

"Yes, what Keith said is correct." Allura told him, only briefly sparing him a glance. "The only reason the yellow bayard would activate for someone that is not the yellow lion's paladin was if the yellow lion's paladin wished it."

Oh no. He didn't like the sound of that. Not one bit. But maybe-

"Well, maybe that's it." Hunk suggested. "Maybe you're the yellow lion's paladin."

"As much as I wish that were true," Allura frowned, "-I am afraid it is not the case."

Oh.

Wow, uh. The princess really sounded kind of bummed about that, didn't she?

Made sense. Her father had been the one to build the lions, so she like... probably wanted to be able to fly one herself. Her whole planet was gone because of the Galra, she had like, more reason than anyone to want to be involved in this fight.

"But I'm not even a pilot." Hunk protested. "I don't know the first thing about flying!"

"Hey, don't sweat it, buddy." Lance chimed in, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I can teach you."

Which, thanks Lance, very touching offer, but also no thanks. Him? Fly one of these super powerful Voltron lions? Nope, no way, bad idea. Definitely a bad idea.

Keith let out a snort, arching a brow. "You?"

"Uh, yes, me." Lance stated, glowering over towards the red paladin. "What's so funny about that?"

"You nearly put a dent in the blue lion's hangar just trying to land." Keith pointed out. "I think you need to work on your own piloting before you can teach anyone else."

"Hey, I fly just fine!" Lance protested. "Besides, I haven't seen you fly your lion, mister hotshot! For all we know, you suck."

Titling his head, something glittered in Keith's eyes. Whatever it was, he had a bad feeling about it. "Is that a challenge?"

"You bet it's a challenge!" Lance exclaimed.

Oh boy. This was not going to end well. Worries about his paladin status momentarily forgotten, he glanced nervously over towards Allura. "Uh, don't you think we should, you know... stop them?"

To her credit, the princess briefly considered it, before shaking her head. "It... would be a good chance for Lance to get in some practice. We will need all the lions we currently possess if we hope to claim the yellow lion. The more experience he has in handling the blue lion, the better."

Oh. Right. He'd nearly forgotten about that.

They didn't actually have the yellow lion.

No, the yellow lion was apparently on some Galra controlled planet, where they were mining for it as they spoke. Either that, or for ore. Either way, the situation was not good.

"In that case," narrowing his eyes, Keith dropped his hands to his sides- and oh, that gleam in his eyes had been a competitive spark, he should have known, "-you're on."

Oh, right. Still had this problem to deal with. Would a break be like, too much to ask for? Glancing over towards Pidge, he felt himself groan. He got the feeling he wasn't going to get any help from there.

And if she wasn't any help, he couldn't imagine her brother would be.

"Fine!" Lance said, locking eyes with Keith, who just returned his glower without so much as blinking. "We'll race. See who can get back to the Castle the fastest. Loser has to, uh-"

"-clean the bathroom?" Pidge oh so helpfully supplied.

Yep, he was right. No help whatsoever.

"Yeah!" Lance took to the idea right away, which yeah, probably was a mistake. A ship this size? Had to have a ton of bathrooms, he'd just like to point that out right now, for the record. "Loser has to clean the bathroom!"

"Fine by me." Keith said. "Hope you know how to clean."

"Well I hope you know how to clean!" Lance shot back.

Part of him wanted to point out that maybe getting into a race with a half-alien that clearly had more experience flying his lion than he did probably wasn't the best of ideas. But he also knew Lance well enough that when he got this into something, talking him out of it was next to impossible.

Heck, he didn't even get the chance to say anything to him before he stormed out of the armory, Keith following him at a more relaxed pace. Yep. Yep, this would not end well. Calling it now.

"Princess?" Coran piped up.

"Yes, Coran?" Allura frowned.

"...did you perhaps not mention to our new blue paladin that the red lion is the fastest of the lot?"

"...ah."

...yep. This definitely wouldn't end well.

Turns out, being told that it was your destiny to basically save the universe was not conducive to a good night's sleep.

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, Hunk groaned, throwing off his covers. This clearly wasn't working. Maybe a little midnight snack would help.

...except he had no idea where the kitchen was.

Between helping Lance clean the toilets and planning how they would get the yellow lion, there hadn't exactly been that much time to get a tour of the place. He still didn't know what to do with the idea that he'd be involved with getting the yellow lion, much less play the most pivotal role in the whole plan, but frankly?

He was trying not to think too hard about it.

If he started doing that, he'd start thinking about all the things that could go wrong. And trust him, there were a lot.

...okay, so maybe he had been thinking too hard about it.

But look, it was hard not to, okay? Being in space was one thing, but he'd thought that he'd like... take on a support role or something! Maybe cook everyone up a delicious meal after a hard day's fight or help repair damage to the castle-ship. If Pidge and Matt could learn how all this alien tech worked, then he sure as heck could.

He didn't mind springing into action if it was within the safety of the Castle of Lions, which was like, a massive flying fortress, but flying a lion?

That would put him right in the middle of everything.

He wasn't usually one to criticize destiny, but there had to be some kind of a mistake.

But at the same time... if he really was the paladin of the yellow lion, could he really just say no? Allura had presented it as an option, but like... they were already short one paladin. Who knew how long it would take her to find a replacement for him if he said no?

It wasn't like he expected this Zarkon to like, put his universal conquest on hold while Allura searched for a spare paladin. Even he understood that there were sometimes fights you couldn't run away from.

Maybe... maybe that's what this was. A fight he couldn't run away from.

Besides, what kind of person would he be if he did? To just... to just say no, like the fate of the universe didn't rest in his hands. Like there weren't innocent people out there right now, suffering because of the Galra Empire.

People like Allura, who had lost her whole planet, her entire people. Or people like Pidge, who had family that had been taken prisoner. People like Matt, who had been prisoners.

It just- it didn't mean he had to like it, okay? This was not what he'd signed up for when he'd decided to follow Lance into deep space, not by a long shot.

"...and now I'm pretty sure I'm lost."

Well, that was what he got for wandering around while lost in thought. He couldn't even retrace his steps because he didn't even remember which steps he had taken. Letting out a long sigh, he paused, having sworn he'd just heard something.

Slowly creeping forward, Hunk turned the corner, peering down the hall. Nope, he wasn't imagining things- he was definitely hearing something. It sounded like... grunting? Growling, maybe?

Oh man, he hoped this ship wasn't haunted.

Chewing on his lip, he briefly considered maybe just like... going back the way he came. It- it had to be someone on the ship, right? Someone couldn't have just... broken in, right?

Ugh. All this trouble for a midnight snack.

Keeping his steps as quiet as possible, Hunk crept forward. The noises seemed to be coming from the room just up ahead, which was starting to seem a little familiar. It wasn't until he poked his head around the corner, peering in the doorway, that he realized why.

Oh, this was the armory.

"Come on," the person who was making the noise spoke, letting out a disgruntled grunt, "-why won't you work?"

Oh.

Oh, it was Keith.

Letting out a sigh of relief, grateful to see that it wasn't an intruder, he flinched. All of a sudden, a pair of glowing golden eyes were staring right at him. Had- had Keith heard that?

Maybe- maybe he couldn't see him in the dark?

"...hunk?"

Or maybe he could.

Coming out of hiding, he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. Keith stared him down, the white and red paladin armor he was wearing doing nothing to cut down on the intensity of his gaze. "Yeah, hi. Uh, didn't mean to spy on you, was actually just trying to find where the kitchen was."

"Three floors down from us." Keith informed him. "Why are you even still awake?"

"Just... you know, thought I'd get a little midnight snack." Hunk told him, shuffling on his feet. "You uh... you trying on your armor?"

At like, the space equivalent of one in the morning. Come to think of it, what was Keith even doing up at this hour?

"...yeah, something like that." Keith told him.

"Hey, that's cool." Hunk said, holding up his hands. "Maybe I should try on mine too. Since, you know, I'm here, and I didn't exactly get a chance to earlier."

Keith frowned. "I thought you didn't want to be a paladin?"

"I mean... no, not really." Hunk confessed. "That's like, the last thing I want. But I guess if that's what I am, maybe I just have to like... I don't know, grin and bear it?"

"Guess so." Keith agreed.

"Though personally, if you ask me," Hunk added, "-I'm pretty sure that destiny like, made some kind of mistake. I'm not exactly paladin material."

Letting out a faint snort, Keith stared down at his bayard. "...guess that makes two of us."

Opening his mouth to protest, he quickly shut it. Keith? Not paladin material? No way. He was like, the best pilot he'd ever seen- which, no offence to Lance, he just had to call it like he saw it. If he wasn't paladin material, he didn't know who was.

...except he kind of got the feeling that this wasn't what this was about.

...was this about him being Galra, maybe? Or well, part Galra. Or maybe it had something to do with his bayard not working. He didn't really know, there was just so much he didn't know about Keith. Which was like, to be expected, seeing as they'd basically just met, but still-

Closing his eyes, Keith lowered his bayard. "I should get some sleep."

"Oh uh- yeah." Hunk stammered, before recalling what Keith had said earlier that day. "I can leave, you know, if you want to change. You said the kitchen's three floors down, right?"

"Yeah, can't miss it." Keith told him.

Nodding his head, Hunk gave him a faint smile. He kinda... wanted to say something to him, to maybe reassure him that he totally was paladin material, but again, they didn't really even know each other. He didn't even know where to begin. Heck, the only things he knew about Keith was the fact that he was part Galra, part-

...part human.

...wait.

Could he...?

Nah, no way. Maybe he'd never seen a picture of Keith Kogane, but it wasn't like they could be the same guy. He didn't exactly blend in.

"Thanks." Hunk told him. "So uh... goodnight?"

"Yeah," Keith gave him a strained smile, "-see you in the morning."

Once he was sure Hunk was gone, he let himself exhale. Going to bed had been a lie, but at least it had got Hunk off his back.

Setting down the red bayard, Keith pulled off his helmet, shaking out his hair. He was just grateful that it was Hunk who'd caught him. He'd rather not deal with Lance, and anyone else...

...they'd just ask too many questions.

Hunk didn't, for which he was grateful. Even if he had looked like he wanted to say something. Guess that was another one for club awkward.

He actually managed a laugh at that, pulling the chest armor over his head. He'd expected it to be something the armor Galran foot soldiers wore, but the paladin armor turned out to be nothing like that.

It fit him like he'd been born to wear it. He... didn't know how to feel about that.

Frowning, he glanced towards the red bayard, picking it back up as he set down the chest plate. Brows knitting together, he closed his eyes, trying to focus his energy. Maybe if he just...

...nothing.

Heaving a sigh, he opened his eyes, fighting the urge to just chuck the thing. Broken, he'd said. He knew damn well it wasn't broken.

If anything was broken, it was him.

Not broken, the red lion rumbled.

Letting out a bitter snort, he ignored his lion. Changing out of the paladin armor, he quickly dressed himself, hand pausing for a moment, hovering over his heart.

Before he drew it away, tugging his shirt over his head. Pulling on his jacket, he paused, glancing back behind him, at the red bayard. Was there even any point in bothering to take it with him?

It wasn't like he could get it to work.

He'd been hoping that Allura was right- that maybe all he needed to do was try it in his paladin armor. That was what he'd been doing, before Hunk had walked in- not that it had worked.

He should have known it was pointless.

Heaving a sigh, Keith picked the red bayard back up, wordlessly clipping it back on his belt. Maybe... maybe it just needed time to adapt. He knew how weird his own quintessence was, and unlike the lions, the bayard wasn't sentient.

Maybe this was just another consequence of Haggar's experimentation. As if there weren't enough of those already.

Or maybe he just wasn't meant to be the red paladin.

He grimaced at the thought. "C'mon Kogane," he mumbled, "-you're trying to think positive, remember?"

Easier said than done. Even before his father died, he'd been the weird kid with no friends. Thinking positive just wasn't something he knew how to do.

He didn't even know where to start.

...not beating himself up for things that were outside of his control, maybe.

That sounded... reasonable, he guessed. But when so much of his life had been out of his control for so long, even before he had been abducted by literal aliens and turned into some weird space witch's pet project, it was again- easier said than done.

But he could try. He said he'd try.

Everyone here was trying, in their own way.

Hunk was trying to accept being the yellow paladin, even though he was obviously afraid. Lance was just trying- okay, fine, so he was trying to learn how to fly the blue lion, all the sharp tongued comments in the world didn't change the fact that he actually did acknowledge that. Pidge and Matt were trying not to let the fact that they hadn't found their father yet get to them. Allura and Coran were trying to move past the loss of everything and everyone they knew.

He couldn't just throw up his hands in defeat after one day. He just... he just had to try a little longer, and then maybe something would come of it.

Hopefully something good, but he wasn't exactly-

...and this was why he was bad at being positive.

Heaving a sigh, he let out a low groan. This was why not being able to sleep sucked. What was he supposed to do for the next few hours other than wallow in his own internal monologue?

At least when he was in command of his own ship, he could just spend the night in the pilot's seat. Passing time at night on the Castle of Lions was proving to be a challenge.

Right.

Training deck it was.

"You really should be sleeping, princess."

Shoulders slumping, Allura looked over towards Coran. She wasn't even going to ask how he knew to find her here, nor even how he knew she was still awake- she had long since known that Coran had a good instinct for this sort of thing.

As goofy as he could be at times, she knew how deeply he cared for others.

"I know," Allura admitted, "-but I could not fall asleep."

"Can't say I blame you." Coran told her. "Tomorrow's a big day."

Nodding her head, Allura turned her gaze forward again. "Yes, it is."

Tomorrow. Tomorrow Te-Osh and a small group of borderland rebels would arrive. Together, they would launch an attack on the Galra forces embedded in the planet the yellow lion was located in. It would act as a diversion, while a small landing party escorted Hunk to the yellow lion.

She could only hope that her instincts were right, and that he truly was the yellow lion's paladin. Otherwise she would be putting him in danger for no reason at all.

And she couldn't live with herself if that were true.

But she knew it had to be right- the yellow bayard had responded to him. That had to mean that he had been chosen by the yellow lion, much like Pidge had been chosen by the green lion, before she had even seen it.

Keith being unable to use his bayard concerned her too. She suspected it might have something to do with his quintessence, in which case, she had no idea how to go about fixing it. Especially not when she had no idea what the cause of it was.

She only hoped that it was not a sign of more complications to come.

"...but I don't think it's tomorrow that you're worried about."

Closing her eyes, she didn't even attempt to deny it. How could she?

Not when she was standing in front of where the black lion slept.

Tomorrow, they would obtain the yellow lion. With it, they would have a chance against the Galra Empire, against Zarkon. Not as good of one as they would have with Voltron, or even just the black lion, but they could not risk waking it, not when they did not yet have a paladin for it.

Not when Zarkon still believed it lost.

With only four active lions, they would never be able to form Voltron- but at least they would have something. Enough to give them a means to fight. And as long as they had that, then one day, she was certain they would locate a new black paladin.

Unless the black lion's bond with Zarkon was not broken, which was what she feared most of all.

"No, it is not." Allura admitted. "I just... I do not know what to do, Coran. I do not think the universe will simply hand me another paladin, as it has already. And I cannot think of a single means with which to go about finding them."

"Well, I don't see why not." Coran merely shrugged. "It's already given you four. Why not go for all five?"

Giving him a faint smile, Allura looked back towards. "I wish I could be so positive."

"Takes practice, you know." Coran observed, stroking his mustache. "And hard to do when you're lacking on sleep."

"Is that your way of telling me to rest?" Allura asked.

"Perhaps." Coran admitted. "All I know is that staying up and drowning in your worries isn't going to help. If you need it, I have a bit of nunvill you could-"

"No, that is quite alright, thank you." Allura cut him off. Perhaps it was a bit childish of her, but she'd never... quite developed a taste for the stuff.

"Ah well, suit yourself." Coran shrugged. "No sense sharing a drink with someone who doesn't enjoy it."

"Quite." Allura said. "But you are right- perhaps I should try a bit harder to get some sleep. I will need to have all my wits about me if we are to prevail tomorrow."

"That's the spirit, princess!" Coran beamed.

She didn't know if she would actually be able to fall asleep, but at least she'd have higher odds of it were she actually in her bed. In lieu of a black paladin, she would have to take the lead. Which meant that she needed to set a good example- and that did not include wandering the halls late at night, in nothing but her nightgown.

...perhaps it was for the best that Coran was the one who found her after all.

"Have you been able to locate them?"

She always felt something tense inside her, whenever she had to deliver to him news that he would not like. But unlike those who would grovel at his feet, she would hold her head high, and accept whatever her failure received her.

She had remained in his favor for ten thousand years, a privilege afforded to few. She had no intentions of leaving it, regardless of those who wished her ill.

"I am afraid not, sire." Haggar said. "The Altean princess' proximity to the prototype makes it difficult to sense her exact location. Unless she expends the same amount of energy as she did before, I do not think I will be able to find her so easily."

Her lord said nothing, but she could tell from the way that his eyes narrowed that he was not pleased. "I trust that is not the extent of your ability."

"No, sire." Haggar told him, before daring to push her luck. "Perhaps I may not be able to find where they are, but I know where they will be. They seek the yellow lion."

"Go on."

"I suspect I know where it is." Haggar explained. "We may be able to use this to lure them into a trap. If it succeeds, not only will the red lion be returned to us, but the green and yellow lions will be ours as well."

"Good." Zarkon said. "Once it is done, bring the Altean princess to me. I wish to have some words with her in regards to the fate of the black lion."

"And the prototype?" Haggar inquired.

"Do with it as you wish." Zarkon told her. "I trust that the finished project is proceeding as planned."

"It is nearing completion." Haggar promised. "We will be ready for a test soon enough."

"See that it is."

With that said, Zarkon departed her presence. The sight of his retreating back always caused something deep within to sting, but she had long since stopped questioning its cause. It mattered not.

What mattered now was carrying out Emperor Zarkon's wishes- and she would not fail him. If it was the lions he desired, then she would do everything in her power to obtain them for him.

Within the fledgling paladins, there was a weakness- one that she would not hesitate to exploit. Turning on her heel, she glanced towards the nearest druid.

"Bring me the Champion."