I'm back with the next chapter! Everyone's back at the Castle, safe and sound- but are they really? Only time will tell! I'm so proud of Keith in this chapter... that's my boy! That said, thanks for reading, and I'll see you next chapter!

cosmic dust

chapter twenty six

truth

She made haste to the red lion's hangar. She did not pause to make her steps more graceful, but rather moved with purpose. It had been the pale color of Keith's face when he had made contact, the labored manner of his breathing, that had her quickening her pace, leaving Coran in the dust behind her.

She was glad to hear that he had escaped, and with Shiro at that, but she did not need to be a trained medic to know that he was in poor condition. As she thought, Zarkon's witch had refused to let him go without a fight.

Hunk and the rebels were with Te-Osh, having already taken her ahead to the medical ward once her pod had landed. It appeared that she was simply unconscious, likely knocked out with a sedative of sorts. In hindsight, she realized that she should have asked Coran to go ahead and prepare a pod, but she could inform him once he caught up.

No matter how fast the red lion was, it would not be quick enough to arrive at its hangar before she made it there.

The firefight between the Galra cruiser and the remaining two lions had been brief, for which she had been grateful. The blue lion had laid down covering fire for the red lion's escape, lingering behind to ensure that Pidge and Matt were able to return to their pod and vacate the vicinity before leaving. They were both now safely on their way back to the Castle.

The pair of siblings had been able to extract information from the ship's command module, though she did not yet know if it would be useful. As they had been pressed for time, they had simply opted to download the information wholesale, rather than attempt to sort through it.

All that remained was Keith.

And Shiro, she supposed. Perhaps she should tell Coran to prepare two pods- until they knew what they were dealing with, the safest option would be to temporarily freeze him. It would be too dangerous to allow him the freedom to wander the ship.

It was a thought that plagued her with guilt- if he was truly being manipulated, then it wasn't treatment he deserved. Yet that was even more reason to ensure that he could harm no one- if this was someone that Keith was willing to go to such lengths to rescue, then she was hard pressed to imagine that they were the sort of person who wished others pain.

In spite of her haste, she wasn't even the slightest bit winded upon arriving at the red lion's hangar. The same could not be said for Coran, when he finally caught up with her- but he was rather well on in years, older even than her father, if only by a few deca-phoebs.

"Coran," she began, "-do you think you could prepare a pair of pods?"

Coran merely blinked. "Of course, princess. I did notice our red paladin looking a bit worse for wear. I was about to suggest it to you before you blitzed out of there faster than an angry klanmuirl."

The edges of her mouth curled up at the comparison. "I would not say I was going quite that fast."

"Ah, perhaps it's just my old bones then." Coran mused, idly tugging on his mustache. "I take it you will be alright here, then?"

"Quite." Allura assured him.

That seemed to satisfy the adviser, and he made a quick promise to have both pods up and running by the time the red lion arrived. Watching him go, she felt a sense of fondness wash over her- truly, she was grateful that she was not alone.

With that matter taken care of, she turned on her heel, gazing upwards. Being in the red lion's hangar brought with it a sense of painful nostalgia, that she tried not to focus on. The last time she had been down here, it had been when her father was still the red paladin.

Though he had been on the Castle for just as long, Keith had not quite made the hangar into his own yet, unlike Pidge had with hers. The green lion's hangar was already filled with various equipment, to the point where Allura could have sworn that she had been on board the Castle for deca-phoebs, rather than the span of a few movements, if that.

In fact, the only thing worthy of note within the hangar was the red and white hoverbike that he had brought back from Earth. It had been polished until it shone, fresh paint applied to where it had been peeling. Briefly, she caught herself wondering when Keith had even found the time.

It shouldn't surprise her- he did tend to be the mysterious type. She found herself wondering if that were by choice- or if he had simply created this distance in order to protect himself. She was starting to lean towards the latter.

She did not have to wait very long at all for the red lion to arrive. Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she watched as it landed, narrowing her eyes at how unsteady it seemed. Keith, she had learned, was an excellent pilot, so any deviation from that was worrisome.

Something felt... off, beyond that.

The red lion landed with a firm thud, crouching. She held her breath, expecting Keith to come out, or at the very least, to open the hatch- but neither occurred. Frowning, she took a step forward, intent on breaking open the lion herself, if she had to.

It was only then that the red lion's jaws finally parted, and she froze in place. As if there had been some kind of barrier between her and it before, the feeling of something being off became less distant, more prominent- to the point where it made her skin crawl. The last thing she wanted to do was focus on the nauseating sensation, but she forced herself to, confirming what she feared- that it was leaking out from within the red lion.

Steeling herself, she strode forward, though the sensation grew stronger with each step. By the time she had reached the ramp, it had become almost unbearable- and then just as suddenly, it stopped.

She felt, she thought, just a tad tired.

"Keith?" She called out, knowing she sounded a bit uncertain.

"Just," Keith's voice sounded a little too weak for her tastes, cracking a bit as he spoke, "-just give me a tick."

Frowning, Allura lingered. From the bottom of the ramp, she could barely see inside the cockpit, if at all, yet she could not resist the urge to try and look.

Whatever was going on in there, she did not have long to wait. One hand pressed firmly against his left side, Keith emerged from the red lion's cockpit, the unconscious form of a human slumped over his shoulder. He seemed to struggle a bit under their weight, and she made haste to ascend the ramp, taking the man by his other arm.

It was beastly, the arm she took. Wrought of metal and clearly Galra, she had to wonder if this were one of the witch's experiments.

It looked monstrous.

The man himself was... truth be told, she was not sure what to expect from this Shiro. The patch of white hair at his forehead did not look natural, even at first glance, and the scar that stretched across the bridge of his nose seemed to tell a story of its own.

"Coran has pods ready in the medical ward," Allura began, "-for the both of you."

Keith flinched at that, his eyes disappearing behind his bangs. "Thanks, but I don't need one."

"Your breathing is off," Allura noted, ears twitching as she picked up on the subtle sound of it, "-you very much need one."

"I mean it." Keith insisted. "Just give me some time alone in the red lion, and I'll be fine."

Brows drawing together, she opened her mouth to protest, but quickly shut it. Keith had opted to look up once more, and there was something almost... pleading in his gaze. Though she had only known him for a short while, he was not one to usually beg, so if he were resorting to such a method, then she could only imagine he was quite serious.

"Very well then." Allura said, though she still felt unconvinced. "But once you are done, I want you to let Coran give you an exam."

"Fine," Keith agreed, but was quick to add, "-as long as it doesn't involve needles."

She almost found humor in the notion that the half-Galra was apparently afraid of needles, but given the circumstances, she could only imagine that said fear was quite well founded. Instead, she opted to change the subject. "I take it this is your brother."

He actually cracked the faintest of smiles at that, something fond in the crease of his brow. It was an expression she hadn't seen before, and suddenly, she found herself wishing she had. "Yeah. This is Shiro."

The expression didn't last long, quickly faltering. "Shiro's body, at least."

Her own face falling, Allura glanced at the man out of the corner of her eye. As unfamiliar with humans as she still was, it was not hard to determine he was a bit older than her paladins- though younger still than Colleen. He was clad in Galra armor, and she shuddered to look at it, unable to imagine how Keith bore it, knowing how much he despised the Empire.

She wondered, briefly, what it was like to so resent one half of your own blood.

"I do not wish to make you promises that I may not be able to keep," Allura began, "-but I will promise you that we will do everything in our power to set things right."

Keith ducked his head again, only giving her a small nod. She keenly got the feeling that he was unused to people keeping their promises. "Thanks."

She managed a weak smile. "Now, let's see if we cannot get your brother to the medical ward."

Stiffly nodding his head again, Keith pulled his hand away from his side, so he could use both arms to support Shiro's weight. She suspected that she could carry him on her own, but she sensed that he felt the need to do this himself.

In truth, she was surprised that he had even so much as accepted her offer of help. Dimly, it occurred to her that she in fact had not asked, not truly, but Keith had made no move to reject her either.

That was... progress, she supposed. For the both of them, really.

With Keith's injuries, getting Shiro to the medical ward took time. She feared that he might perhaps regain consciousness in the time it took, but he remained out cold. By the time they arrived, the rebels had cleared out, though Hunk remained, waiting for them together with Coran.

He took one look at Keith, and hurried to help.

Without asking, he carefully took Shiro's other arm, relieving Keith of his burden. The half-Galra briefly opened his mouth to protest, but instead firmly shut it, his hand straying to his side again.

"Right," Coran frowned, "-let's go ahead and get him into a pod."

"Are you sure this is safe?" Hunk asked. "Because, no offense Keith," he said, gaze briefly flickering back towards the red paladin, "-but he was kind of crazy brainwashed the last time I saw him."

"Still is." Keith muttered.

"Allura and I slept in those pods for ten thousand years!" Coran remarked. "I'd say they're pretty secure!"

"Hm, yeah, that is a good point." Hunk admitted, helping her stand Shiro upright in the pod. "So... what next?"

"First we concentrate on healing the physical." Coran said, tugging on his mustache in thought. "After that, we can deal with the mental."

"He called himself the Champion." Keith reported, and she did not care for the way he leaned against the wall, shifting his weight entirely off one foot. "Didn't recognize his own name. He said he fought- he said he fought for the Galra Empire."

Hunk winced, giving him a sympathetic look. "I mean... at least he's back now, right?"

Keith just nodded, opting not to say anything.

Letting out a breath, she watched as the cryopod sealed itself shut, frost starting to creep up the edges of the glass. It was not the ideal solution, but she would prefer to err on the side of caution. Keith gave the cryopod a wary gaze, but opted to remain silent.

"Right," Coran said, "-now for you, Number Four."

Keith just blinked, looking up at him. "I'm fine. It's not that bad."

Opening his mouth to protest that, Coran caught her eye. Shaking her head, he quickly clamped his mouth shut. Hunk also looked as if he wanted to say something, to which she responded with an even more pointed look. It caused him to flinch, but he seemed to get the message.

She did not like the idea of allowing Keith to forgo medical treatment, but she prayed that he at least had the sense to seek it if he truly needed it.

"Go on then," Allura told him, "-off with you."

"You'll let me know if anything changes?" Keith asked.

"Of course, my lad." Coran told him. "Don't you worry about a thing."

Nodding his head, Keith departed without another word, hand still firmly pressed to his left side. She watched him go with a deep frown on her face, only exhaling when she was certain he was well out of range of hearing.

"Are you sure we should have done that?" Hunk asked. "Because he kind of didn't look good."

"No," Allura confessed, "-but we cannot force him either."

"Well, at least Shiro here doesn't seem to be too badly off." Coran remarked. "Though his quintessence levels seem a bit off."

"Off?" Allura blinked. "Off how?"

"Yeah, and what's quintessence?" Hunk asked.

"Life force, you could call it!" Coran replied, wrapping up what she had not yet explained to either the yellow or blue paladins, now that she thought of it, in a neat little bow. "And his levels seem a bit on the low side. Granted, I'm not that familiar with your human physiology so perhaps that's simply normal."

"That is... concerning." Allura said, unable to help but recall that nauseating sensation that had poured out of the red lion's cockpit. Nor the way she had felt slightly tired afterwards.

She did not like the direction of her own thoughts.

"Uh yeah, that does kind of sound bad." Hunk said.

"Oh, he should be fine after a few vargas in here!" Coran was quick to reassure them both.

Accepting that, Allura turned her attention towards Te-Osh. She was resting on a cot, one of her legs wrapped with bandages. "How is she?"

"She'll be fine." Coran assured her. "It seems the Galra did some rudimentary first aid on her leg wound- just enough to keep her from bleeding to death. I'd put her in a pod, but that might not mix well with the sedative she was given, so we'll just have to let her heal the old fashioned way."

Nodding her head, Allura let out a breath of relief. So far, things had gone well- save for the matter of Keith's injuries. That was less than ideal.

Still, she could not help but worry that things had gone too well.

"I should probably go check on Lance." Hunk spoke up.

Looking towards him, Allura gave him a grateful smile. "Yes, of course. The two of you did well today, Hunk."

"Thanks, but I kind of didn't do much." Hunk admitted. "Which, don't get me wrong, I'm happy about, but... all I ended up doing was escorting Te-Osh's pod back here."

"Still," Allura told him, "-just because nothing went wrong did not mean that something couldn't have. So yes, you did well."

He seemed to glow a little at the praise, making a somewhat bashful exit. She couldn't help but smile at it- she was already growing rather fond of this new yellow paladin. Were Gyrgan alive, she was positive that the two would have got on well.

In fact, she could picture all of the previous paladins getting along well with their successors- even Keith and her father, to her surprise.

She was not as repulsed by the thought as she thought she would be.

Sinking back into the pilot's seat, Keith closed his eyes, for a moment doing nothing more than bask in the red lion's soothing energy. Her low purr, the warm air of the cockpit... he felt some of his held tension start to slip away as those elements intermingled- and with it, his control.

He'd briefly lost it earlier, relief having crashed over him like a wave. He hadn't been able to stop it- with the Castle of Lions in sight, it had sunk into him that he had really succeeded. That he had made it out of there, with Shiro. That he was safe.

It had taken him longer than he would have liked to get a handle on it, but he'd still been able to get it under control before the worst happened. He had just bet his life to rescue Shiro- he didn't exactly want to become the cause of his death. Once it got like this, there was no controlling where he took it from, or how much- he'd drain it until he was healed. Sealing himself inside the red lion until he was better was the safest thing to do.

Exhaling, Keith felt his ribs slowly begin to heal themselves. His right wrist, crushed in the battle earlier, had already largely healed from his earlier slip, but now even the lingering bruises were starting to fade. Opening his eyes, he watched as the color returned back to normal, experimentally clenching his fist.

Drawing in a long breath, he did it without pain this time. The throbbing in his side was starting to fade, bones setting themselves back where they were meant to be. All the while, the red lion continued to purr, reassuring him that she was alright- it would take a lot more than this to even put a dent into her quintessence.

Even before he'd learned the legend of Voltron from Te-Osh, he'd always known that the red lion was something else. His bond with her was like a safety net- what gaps there were in his control, she made up for.

Taking in a long breath, Keith carefully tested his ribs. They had completely healed, like they had never even been broken.

Control returned.

"Thanks, Red." Keith muttered, idly stroking her controls with one hand. "Don't know what I would do without you."

The red lion seemed to prickle at that, reminding him how he had planned to run off without her as soon as he got the chance. Grimacing, Keith knew she had a point. All he had been thinking about was how he didn't deserve to be a paladin, not the potential consequences of his actions.

Which... well, wasn't exactly unusual for him. At least he wouldn't be around people he was afraid to hurt.

And that was the root of the issues. Instances like this proved just how fragile his own control was- and while healing a few broken ribs and a snapped wrist probably wouldn't be enough to kill anyone, it would still leave them in a weakened state.

He had seen what this power could do. Even if he wanted to forget, he couldn't. Wouldn't. He might never know the names of the test subjects, the living sacrifices, but he'd never forget their faces- dried up and shriveled, every last drop of quintessence sucked out of them.

He'd done that. Maybe he'd been made to do it, but he'd still done it.

The red lion purred, soft and reassuring, as if trying to soothe him. He knew his thoughts were probably a mess right now- he'd just had to fight Shiro, for crying out loud! No matter how brainwashed he was, it didn't change the fact that he'd had to hurt his own brother, the one person who had stuck his neck out for him when he'd deserved it the least.

Hell, he'd stolen his car, and he'd responded by convincing his parents to foster him.

He let out a dry chuckle at that. First he steals Shiro's car, and then he steals Shiro. Matt was right- he hadn't changed, he'd just leveled up. Somehow he didn't exactly think Shiro would be all that proud of the fact that he had become a space pirate, even if he did steal from the bad guys.

(Well, mostly.)

If they ever got Shiro back.

Sure, he was here physically, but mentally? He shuddered, trying not to dwell too long on the way Shiro had sworn allegiance to the Galra Empire so easily, as if it were natural.

The Shiro he knew would never join them- not out of his own free will.

The fact that he didn't even recognize his own name was proof of that. Sure, he'd hadn't recognized him either- but it had been five years since they had seen each other, just about, and he'd kind of undergone some changes since then. He hadn't exactly been counting on it.

He didn't even know what he'd do if they did get Shiro back.

Sure, Matt had reassured him that everything would be alright- and he wanted to believe that. But at the same time, that was before they knew that Shiro had been brainwashed by Haggar, and turned into a living weapon.

Why would he ever let another Galra into his life after that?

Staring down at his hands, Keith clenched his fists, drawing in a long breath. Sitting here and wallowing in self pity wouldn't change anything, and besides, he was trying to think positive, even if he was shit at it.

He'd done what he'd set out to do- he'd gotten Shiro back. Now he just had to trust that Allura could find a way to help him.

Allura.

Groaning, Keith rested his head against the back of his chair. Right. Allura. That was another problem. She hadn't said anything, but he really wasn't going to put his faith into believing that she hadn't noticed anything amiss. That wasn't positive thinking, that was just straight up denial.

Tell her, Red prompted him.

"Easy for you to say." Keith mumbled. If he told Allura, he'd have to tell all of them.

Tell them, the red lion prompted again, or the witch will.

Grimacing, Keith knew Red had a point. It was a miracle he'd gotten out of this without that tidbit of information going public- and he still didn't know if Shiro knew about it or not. The real Shiro would never blurt out something so private, but the Champion... yeah, he might just do it.

Scratching his head, Keith made a frustrated grumble. Right. If it was bound to come out in the open anyways, it might as well be of his own choosing.

"Keith!"

Pidge brightened at the arrival of the red paladin, making no effort to hide the relief that washed over her features to see him in one piece. Hunk had painted a pretty worrisome picture, so even if she knew that his behavior was business as usual, she couldn't help but be concerned.

Today had been anything but business as usual.

Sure, they'd broken into a Galra ship to steal data. That part was normal. But the part that left Keith to fight someone he viewed as family? That wasn't.

She didn't miss how strained his grin looked, even as he affectionately ruffled her hair. "Hey, Pidge. How'd data collecting go?"

"Perfectly." Pidge preened. "Matt and I are still analyzing it. There's a ton of data, so we're probably looking at an all nighter."

"We're thinking of asking Hunk to help." Matt supplied. "Glad to see you're back on your feet though. Hunk made it sound pretty bad."

"Just a few broken ribs." Keith shrugged, brushing it off like it was nothing. "Nothing I can't handle."

Brows knitting together, she stared up at Keith. "And I assume you're fine now?"

"Wouldn't be here if I wasn't." Keith simply said. "Where's everyone else?"

Right. He'd been so unusually open as of late, she'd nearly forgotten that Keith's main character trait was being an enigmatic asshole. She didn't know why, but she'd just assumed that the trend would continue, but from the look of it, he was back to normal.

"Coran's still in the med bay." She said with a slight sigh. "Allura's finishing up some business with Olia. They're going to transfer Te-Osh to one of their own treatment facilities."

"They're taking some medical supplies with them. I think Hunk's lending them a hand." Matt piped up. "Probably roped Lance into it, too."

Frowning, Keith shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Oh. Guess they're all busy then."

Arching a brow, Pidge tilted her head. "You sound disappointed."

"I just-" Keith began, before stopping short, folding his arms in front of him. With a blink, she realized that he was withdrawing into himself, uncertain, even hesitant. "I wanted to tell them something. Something important."

Oh. Oh. Guess the trend wasn't over.

"But they're all busy so," Keith half-mumbled, ducking his head, "-I guess... I guess it can wait."

"No, you know what," Pidge cut in, "-I'll go get them."

Blinking at that, Keith looked up. "Are you sure? They all sound-"

"I'm sure." Pidge insisted. "You want to talk to us, right? Then we can make time."

That didn't seem to provide him as much relief as she thought it would, and it dimly occurred to her that he had probably subconsciously been looking for a way out. It wasn't hard to guess what he wanted to talk about- if it wasn't about Shiro, then it was bound to be about himself.

So instead, Keith just chewed on the inside of his lip, giving her a stiff nod.

"Hey," Pidge grinned, elbowing him in the side- the one that he hadn't been favoring earlier, according to Hunk, "-for what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing."

"I'm pretty sure Shiro would agree." Matt mildly supplied.

Keith flinched a bit at his voice, like he'd kind of forgotten he was here. He didn't say anything, just nodded again, his movements stiff as he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch from her brother.

"You just stay right there." Pidge told him. "I'll go get everyone."

Making her way towards the door, she paused, glancing back towards Keith uncertainly. "You did want everyone, right?"

"I- yeah." Keith said. "Thanks, Pidge."

"Hey, that's what family's for, right?" She asked.

Keith just stared at her, causing her to let out a huff. How much was it going to take to drill it into him that that's what they were? Sure, maybe not by blood- but in every other sense, Keith was like family to her. A second older brother.

Maybe whatever he had to tell them... whatever Zarkon's witch had done to him- it was bad enough to make him fear that just knowing about it would cause them to turn him away. That was stupid- whatever Haggar had done to Keith, it didn't change who he was as a person- that was something she already knew well.

Reckless, but with a strong sense of justice- space pirate or not. Temperamental, but also gentle- the kind of person who was afraid to let people in, but also cared deeply for them at the same time.

A paradox.

So whatever he had to say- whatever dark secret he'd been hiding- it wouldn't change anything. Not for her, at least. She had only gotten this far because of him.

She paused, wondering for a moment if she should say that- but she got the feeling it would be better to hear Keith out first. Otherwise, his doubts would never be alleviated. So instead she gave him a quick grin, before ducking out of the lounge, intent on rounding everyone up.

Keith had chosen to be honest with them- to come clean. It couldn't have been an easy choice for someone whose default was talking as little about himself as humanly possible. She also knew him well enough to know that if they didn't do this now, he might just change his mind and keep the truth sealed until someone exposed it for him.

So yeah- she'd make damn certain they made time for him.

"We have searched the ship. Ulaz is nowhere to be found."

Haggar narrowed her eyes. This had not been in her plans.

That the red paladin would attempt to escape with the Champion, she had expected. Their connection was strong, but she had not expected that he would be able to succeed. That same connection would make him reluctant to fight, hesitant, and while that had gone exactly as she had anticipated, the sudden failure of the Champion's arm had not.

It would seem that she had failed to get rid of all of the rats.

"Shall we search the surrounding systems?" The sentry asked.

"No need," Haggar said, "-I know where our spy is headed."

"Contact Commander Sendak. Tell him to set a course for planet Arus." Haggar instructed. "Let us see if he can redeem himself."

The paladins' interference with her plans had been unexpected- but they too, would be dealt with soon enough. And for his treachery, she would force the red paladin to watch.

Family.

It wasn't the first time Pidge had said something to that effect, but her words felt heavier than usual. He felt a bit guilty, not being able to return the feeling- it didn't feel right, claiming her and the rest of the Holts as family, not when he hadn't been entirely honest with them.

Sure, he hadn't become this way by choice. He hadn't asked those scouts to abduct him, hadn't asked Haggar to experiment on him- he hadn't even asked to be born. But it still felt wrong.

They should know he was a monster before deciding he was family, he thought.

Biting down on his lip, he tried to shove that thought aside. No, he wasn't doing that- positive thinking, positive thinking.

Ugh. He was shit at this.

"Hey," Matt spoke up, causing him to blink, "-you okay?"

Blinking at the question, Keith frowned. "Like I said, they've healed."

"I didn't mean that." Matt told him, before seeming to almost reconsider. "Though that's good to hear too. I mean... how are you holding up? You had to fight your brother, that has to be rough."

Opening his mouth to say that Shiro was just his foster brother, he quickly shut it. Maybe there was no actual blood connection between them, but he still selfishly regarded Shiro as his brother. He knew he shouldn't- after all the Galra had done to him, what right did he have to claim family ties when he himself was Galra?

He'd been abducted, held prisoner, forced to fight for his life and then finally brainwashed and turned into a weapon- at this point, what hadn't the Galra done to him?

"I'll be fine." Keith lied.

Matt knew it, too. Maybe he wasn't the best at reading people, but he could tell that much. He didn't say anything though, for which Keith wasn't certain if he was grateful for or not.

They sat in slightly awkward silence, Matt tapping away at his laptop. He'd brought it back with him from Earth. Pidge's lay abandoned next to him.

Maybe this was a bad idea, Keith caught himself thinking. He'd just started to find a place for himself, and now he was about to throw it all away.

Red's low purr became louder at that, reassuring him that wouldn't happen. He tried to believe it. It was just... he'd spent more time thinking negatively of himself than he had positively, so it was hard to get back in the swing of it now.

It felt like an eternity before Pidge finally returned, paladins and Alteans alike in tow. It dimly occurred to him that he'd said everyone, so he'd been afraid that maybe Olia and the rebels would be tagging along too, but they weren't. He wasn't ashamed to admit that their absence caused him to breath a sigh of relief.

He was barely even ready to share this with Pidge, nevermind the rest of the paladins.

It was Allura who spoke first, her smile ever diplomatic. He hated it- hated the way he couldn't read her. "Pidge said you wished to speak with us?"

(But he didn't hate Allura. That just made this harder.)

No backing out of this now, he guessed.

Getting to his feet, Keith opened his mouth- only to find that nothing came out. Closing it, he quickly nodded, drawing in a long breath. It was fine. He could do this. He was only telling them his most closely guarded secret. No big deal. It wasn't like a large portion of this group were people he'd only known for a few weeks, if not for a few days.

No matter how short, they had all managed to worm their way into his heart- even if just by a little. Pidge had created the first gap, and from there, the others had started to sneak in, just when he thought he'd closed it off for good.

He didn't hate Allura. He didn't hate any of them- even Lance, who he was pretty sure just flat out didn't like him.

"Well," speak of the devil, Lance just had to go and open his mouth, "-you gonna spit it out or what? Some of us don't have all day, mullet."

Gritting his teeth, Keith leveled a glower at the blue paladin. But at least his interruption helped him find his voice again.

"There's something I've been keeping from you," he began, "-all of you."

Allura didn't even blink. He wished she did. "We're listening."

Shoulders tensing, Keith braced himself for whatever reaction his words would earn. If Allura were to demand that he leave... he'd do it. At least he knew Shiro would be safe here. He'd done what he'd set out to do, he couldn't ask for anything further.

"I have- had- a sensitivity to quintessence." Keith began, quickly correcting himself. "That was what drew Haggar's attention to me in the first place."

This time, Allura did blink. "Had?"

"Quintessence is that life force stuff, right?" Lance asked, and he had to bite down on his lip, to keep himself from being annoyed at the interruption. It was a fair question. "Hunk told me about it."

"In essence, yes." Allura stated.

"It's also what the Galra Empire uses as fuel." Pidge noted.

"Wait, they use life forced as fuel?" Hunk asked. "Because uh, that's kind of creepy."

"No offense, but can we discuss that later?" Keith cut in. "This isn't easy for me to talk about."

He tried to pretend that Hunk's words hadn't stung. Creepy, huh.

"Of course," Allura said, looking understanding- for now, some darker part of him supplied, "-go on."

"Like I said, I had a sensitivity to quintessence." Keith continued from where he had left off. "I'm going to be honest and admit up front that I don't understand everything, but what I do know is that for the past ten thousand years, the Galra Empire has been mining quintessence from the planets they've conquered."

"Like... what, like they mine for ore?" Hunk asked.

"Pretty much?" Keith frowned, uncertain. He didn't know the exact method they used- it wasn't like anyone ever told him, and he'd never exactly bothered to find out for himself later. "Like I said, I don't know everything. All I know is that they've been searching for a more efficient way of getting it pretty much since then."

Allura's brows narrowed, but her expression remained purely contemplative. "And this Haggar felt you could help with that?"

Resisting the urge to duck his head, Keith forced himself to meet their eyes. "Yeah. That was the subject of her experiments- she made use of my quintessence sensitivity to advance a bigger project of hers. She called it the komar, I think."

"I," Keith began, his voice catching in his throat, "-so she- I can-"

Growling in frustration, Keith narrowed his eyes. Why was just this part so hard to say?

"Look, maybe it's better if I just show you." He finally got out, already unhooking his belt. Pidge reached to take it without so much as a second thought, and he couldn't help but glance her way- she looked... encouraging, and that gave him the confidence to go through with what he was about to do.

Shrugging off his jacket, he moved to remove his shirt, ignoring Lance's remarks to the point where he didn't even bother to listen to them. Didn't matter. The second he saw his chest, he'd understand.

There was a reason he stuck with dark clothes. Though dim, they were about the only thing that could hide the faint glow of the runes that Haggar had etched into his chest, like a scar over his heart, marking him as something other.

This time, he couldn't resist the urge to duck his head.

"I can drain quintessence."

He didn't dare look up, all attempts at thinking positively forgotten. He didn't want to meet anyone's eyes, to see the revulsion that had to be there. Now they knew. Now they would know why having him around was such a bad idea, why it had to be some kind of mistake that he was the red paladin, why they would all be better off without him.

Liability didn't even begin to describe it.

"Keith," Allura breathed, her voice almost a whisper, "...those runes, they're... they're Altean."

...what?