Happy Wednesday, my lovely readers! I was meant to update this yesterday but time ran away from me...
Disclaimer: I do not own any Marvel characters that may be used or any Marvel storylines or arcs.
Claimer: I only own the character Elizabeth Jones (Lowri Jones and any other names she uses) and her story past, present and future.
Recap
"Sorry for barging in on you." Steve began, he looked at Laura, then at Clint and his eyes found Lowri's. She looked up and they locked eyes, then he looked away sharply.
"Yeah, we would have called ahead but we were too busy having no idea that you existed." Tony said, he glanced at the kids and then looked at Laura.
"Yeah well, Ri and Fury helped me set this up when I joined. They kept it off S. H. I. E. L. D.'s files." Clint said, he looked at Lowri and smiled knowingly. "I'd like to keep it that way. I figure it's a good place to lie low."
Nat moved towards Laura familiarly and Lowri looked at Lila, still sat beside her.
"How's your schoolwork going, eh? Keeping up with your lessons?" Lowri asked, smiling at Lila.
Lila looked down at the floor, giggling and she refused to meet Lowri's eyes in a childish defiance act.
"Why do you always ask about my schoolwork, Auntie Ri?" Lila asked, she looked up at Lowri. "School's boring."
"I ask because I happen to care about ya little Barton." Lowri said with a smile, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Thor look around the room and then he turned and left, Steve threw one last look her way and then followed Thor out. "And school work is very important, Lila." Lowri said, looking back at Lila.
"Do you want to show Auntie Ri your new math problem? Maybe if you ask kindly, she might help you." Laura suggested, she smiled at Lowri.
Lila nodded her head quickly with a grin on her face and she ran off, Laura sat down heavily beside Lowri and leant back against the couch with a sigh.
"Is that your guy?" Laura asked, nodding towards the door where Steve had just gone through. Lowri nodded her head slowly.
"That's him." Lowri replied.
"He's cute." Laura said, she looked over at Lowri carefully. "Come on. While Lila's getting the math problem, you can shower and get yourself clean. You look exhausted. What happened?"
"I died." Lowri said, she dropped her head back against the couch and laughed when she saw Laura's shocked look. "Don't worry. I scared Clint. He tried to pick me up to take me back to the jet and I woke up, and then he dropped me."
Laura snorted and then she got to her feet.
"Sounds like him." She laughed. "Come on. You need to clean up."
Lowri got to her feet and followed Laura out of the living room and up the stairs. Laura shoved Lowri into the family bathroom with Lila's toys scattered around and told Lowri that she'll get clothes for her and towels.
The shower was welcoming and it was nice to get out of her bullet riddled suit. It allowed her to forget. Once Lowri was done, she got out and found the towel and some clothes, which turned out to be a pair of Laura's pre-pregnancy jeans, a white vest and a checked shirt of Clint's that was too big for her.
Lowri brushed through her hair as it dried and then she stepped out of the room, she headed down the hallway and began walking down the stairs. Lila dashed into view with a bunch of papers in her hand and she grinned up at Lowri.
"Where did you go, Auntie Ri? I looked for you." Lila asked as Lowri neared her.
"Your Mom made me go have a shower, sweetie." Lowri said, she levelled with Lila and then Lila pulled Lowri out through the back of the house and out to the back garden where the table was already set up for a math problem solving session.
The table was close to the house, surrounded by large wooden chairs that dwarfed Lila and had an umbrella covering it.
"Do you come out here to do your homework?" Lowri asked as she took a seat and shook back her now dry hair.
"Yeah. Mommy lets me and Cooper come out here when the weather's nice. I like doing homework out here. But I don't like doing homework." Lila said, she laid out the papers in her hand and looked like she was about to go into an important business meeting.
"Right then, little monster, let's see this math problem then." Lowri said with a grin. Lila grinned back cheekily and presented Lowri with the math problem.
For the first time in a long time, Lowri felt at peace with the world, she felt as though there was no crazy robot out for destruction and that this was a simple visit to her friends' farm.
Cooper was with Clint, who was busy trying to fix one of the broken bannisters on the porch. Steve and Tony were busy chopping up wood for the fire, Bruce had gone off somewhere in the house, Nat was resting and Thor had gone off somewhere.
Lowri let herself forget for a little while, she enjoyed spending her time with the little girl.
Cooper came over and sat down beside Lowri, he watched his little sister work on the problem.
"Mom thinks my school work is going good, Auntie Ri." Cooper said proudly, "She says that if I keep up the rate, I'll get really good results for my exams."
"That's great to hear, Coop. I'm glad you got something from me then." Lowri said with a smirk. Cooper laughed. "To be fair, your Mom is smart. I'm not sure about your dad. I think he's a bit of a birdbrain."
"Daddy won't like that." Lila laughed, Lowri pulled a face at her and smile. "But I'm glad Daddy's home. Does he miss me?"
"You know he misses you both like mad. Heck, I miss you both like mad." Lowri said, she leant in closer to Lila. "He misses you every day."
As Lowri leant back, she turned her head and looked behind her, at Steve and Tony.
Tony had probably never chopped wood before, this must be a new experience for him. The two of them were working hard but they were also talking between themselves and the conversation turned intense.
As Steve and Tony spoke, Steve must have got annoyed at something because he grabbed a piece of wood and tore it in half using his bare hands. Lowri tensed in her seat as Steve took a threatening step towards Tony.
"What's the matter, Auntie Ri?" Lila asked, bringing Lowri's attention back to her.
"Nothing, sweetie." Lowri said, she glanced back at Steve and Tony, she spied Laura making her way over to Steve and Tony, and then she looked back down at Lila. "I'm just worrying about my friends."
Lila looked at Tony and Steve and her mother, she narrowed her eyes and pulled a determined face.
"They can take care of themselves, Auntie Ri." Lila said, shaking her head at Steve and Tony. "They're big men, like Daddy. And Daddy can take care of himself."
"Yeah, your Daddy can. But, my friends need a little guidance." Lowri said, she pushed herself to her feet as Tony pointed towards his smaller pile of wood as if he was warning Steve. "I'll be right back, sweetie. Coop, make sure she finishes this question by the time I come back."
Lowri tapped Cooper's shoulder as she stood up and she headed towards Steve and Tony, but Tony walked off after Laura, stepping confidently.
Steve watched Tony walk away before turning back to his wood chopping, as he turned, he saw Lowri walking towards him and began chopping the wood again.
Lowri came to a halt just a few feet away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. She watched him work, she knew that he knew she was standing just behind him and he ignored her. Why?
"We need to talk, Steve." Lowri said slowly. Steve brought down the axe on another piece of wood hard, slicing the wood in half with the single stroke. Lowri jumped when the axe hit the wood but she kept her arms crossed and breathed through it.
Steve stood up slowly and dropped the axe to the ground by his feet and he turned to her, his gaze wasn't the one he normally had when he looked at her.
"We don't need to talk." Steve said firmly.
"We do." Lowri said just as firmly. "That's the first time you've talked to me all day."
"And that's a problem?" Steve asked curtly.
Lowri raised her eyebrows at him and pressed her lips together, immediately, Steve's eyes softened and his body relaxed.
"What do you want me to say, Ri? I saw you take a bullet to your head. I saw you die." Steve said in a defeated tone. "I saw you die."
"You saw me fall unconscious for a short space of time." Lowri replied.
"You were shot in the head. You were bleeding out in front of me. You weren't moving." Steve snapped. He kept his eyes locked on her, "I saw you stop breathing, I saw the blood leave your body. Do you have any idea of what that was like for me?"
Lowri remained silent, she dropped her defensive stance and her hands fell to her sides.
"It was like a part of me was ripped out and-" Steve cut himself short and looked away from her, as if this was too much.
"I watched you climb onboard the Valkyrie. I waited for what felt like hours, just waiting to hear your voice again. I heard your last words before you gave your life for your country and for the rest of the world." Lowri said carefully. She saw him freeze and she knew he was listening to her. "I heard everything you said, and I tried to offer my help. But you refused. You believed that the only way to stop Hydra was to kill yourself. I couldn't do a thing. I was alone for almost seventy years, because you sacrificed yourself." Lowri took a deep breath in. "I know how it was for you, I've felt it too."
Her voice stung with hurt and she felt tears prick at her eyes but she blinked them away. Steve remained unmoving.
"What did the witch make you see, Steve?" She asked slowly.
Steve turned back to her, his own eyes glistening with tears.
"I saw what I've always dreamed for. Something that I've wanted for so many years but I've never been able to have it." Steve replied.
"What was it? What did you see?" Lowri asked gently.
"Us." Steve said, his eyes locked on hers and she was frozen where she stood. "I saw us, you and me. Us as a family, with a house with a garden, a car and children."
Lowri's eyes widened at his words and she didn't know what to say. His dream that was so horrible but also perfect was them as a family?
"We had two sons and a daughter, and there was another child on the way. They were going to school and it was such a- I can't get it out of my head. It was so perfect." Steve said,
"So, you're regretting not having a family with me?" Lowri asked slowly.
"I'm regretting so much." Steve said with a sigh.
"Why are you acting like this, Steve?" Lowri asked.
Steve looked at her sharply as a moment of anger took over him, she felt slightly scared to be in front of him.
"Because that dream reminds me that we can never have that! You can't have children, you're barren. We can't be a family!" Steve snapped.
His voice seemed to echo around Lowri and even though she knew that she was barren, that she couldn't bear children, but hearing Steve practically yell it at her, it stung deep.
"Do you think I asked to be like this?" Lowri asked sharply. Her tone was harsh and Steve flinched, having never heard her talk like this before. "Do you think I like being like this? I grew up with a large family and all I've ever wanted since I was a girl was to have a loving husband and children of my own. I'm cursed to live a barren life." Lowri crossed her arms over her chest again and glared at him. "You shouldn't feel the need to worry about me, Steve. This is nothing to do with you."
Steve's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to sat something but Lowri cut him off.
"We've got a bigger problem arising. I suggest that you move your attention onto that." Lowri said, her voice was full of scorn and she saw him shrink away from her.
She turned from Steve with hurt growing in her chest and all she wanted to do was burst into tears but she pressed her lips together and tried her best to smoothen out the scowl so Cooper and Lila wouldn't worry.
Lowri stepped away from Steve, clenching her hands into fists behind her and with each step, her anger only grew.
How can Steve be angry at her over something that she can't control? It's not her fault that she ended up like this. She had seen her nieces and nephews love her siblings and she yearned for that love. Knowing that she could never feel the love of her own child hurts from the inside.
"Why're you so angry, Auntie Ri?" Lila asked as soon as Lowri took her seat again, her back to Steve. Lowri could see Clint eying her cautiously, as if he sensed something was up with her.
Lowri couldn't help but smile at the little girl but she was still angry at Steve.
"Why is your friend looking at you like that?" Lila asked, she was looking past Lowri and right at Steve.
"Like what?" Lowri asked, she didn't want to look behind her because she was scared that Steve was giving her thunderous looks.
"Like he loves you." Cooper said, he was looking too and Lowri looked at him quickly, then she looked at Lila who was waiting for her answer and then Lowri turned her head slowly, to look at Steve but she missed the moment. Steve was already chopping up wood.
Laura came over to them at that moment, she put her hand on the back of Lila's chair and she saved Lowri from having to answer.
"Go clean up for dinner, kids. You can help me lay the table." Laura said, she smiled down at Lila and Cooper, who gathered up Lila's things and they darted from the table.
Laura pressed a hand to her stomach and she sat down slowly in Lila's chair, sighing slightly as she leant back and looked at Lowri with a knowing look.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Laura asked, "You look like you're about to burst into flames, and please don't, our home isn't fireproof."
"That's a bad choice, Laura." Lowri laughed, making Laura laugh too.
"Come on, tell me what's wrong." Laura prompted, she rubbed her hand over the stomach with a contemplating look and then a look of joy passed over her face. Lowri knew that sign.
"Can I feel?" Lowri asked slowly.
Laura nodded her head and Lowri moved seats quickly, she sat beside Laura and reached over, her hand replaced Laura's on Laura's belly. Lowri felt the strong kick of the unborn child and her feelings almost spiralled out of control.
"I'm still waiting on your answer, Ri." Laura said knowingly. Lowri looked up and took her hand away from Laura's belly, she leant back in her seat and looked at Steve, now that she had a full view.
"I love coming here." Lowri began, "I love seeing you, Cooper, Lila and Clint. I love your family and now you've got little Natasha on the way, well, it's just making me feel nostalgic."
"Why?" Laura asked.
"I lost my family in 1836, they will always be my only biological family. Tony and Bruce ran some tests on me when I was in my coma and they found out that I'm infertile, among other things." Lowri said, she looked up and Laura and then looked at Steve. "Steve brought it up, just now. He had this dream – this girl, a witch – she put visions in his head and he-Steve dreamt of a life that we can never have. In this dream, we had a family, children."
"What did he say?" Laura asked, leaning forward slightly.
"Not much." Lowri said, "But from what he said, it's clear that he pretty much blames me for being infertile and the reason why we can't be a family."
Laura looked at her for a few long moments and then she leant back in her seat, watching both Steve and Lowri.
"Men." Laura said slowly.
"Both of us have taken a huge hit, the whole team has, but I'm not sure if Steve and I can move on from this." Lowri said, Laura pulled a face at Lowri. "No, I'm being serious, Lau. It's the way he said it…"
"Give the poor guy a rest, Ri. Both of you need rest. You said yourself, you effectively died and Nat told me how she's been feeling for the past few hours, so I'm guessing this is what Steve is feeling too. After your coma, you sort of rushed into this so you two haven't had a proper chance to reconnect. Just… wait it out." Laura said firmly, "You can help me with dinner."
"You know I can't argue when you're like this." Lowri said, looking up at Laura as she stood up. Laura grinned down at Lowri. "Pregnant Laura is on the war path."
"Come on. Get up." Laura commanded. She put her hands on her hips and smiled "And little Natasha is little Nathanial."
Lowri stood up slowly and looked at Laura with shock in her eyes.
"But you said the baby was going to be a girl." Lowri said.
"Turns out she is a he." Laura said with a small laugh.
"Lila is going to be the angel." Lowri said, she followed Laura towards the house and glanced back at Steve one final time before going in and she was mildly surprised to see his eyes on her. Was he regretting his harsh words? She tore her eyes from him and headed into the house.
Clint watched as they went past, Lowri ignored the look and followed Laura into the kitchen. Most of the grunt work for dinner was done, but it was odds and ends jobs left to do, which Lowri happily done as it distracted her.
Instead of setting the table, Lila was sat with Nat, chatting away about the bedroom for the new baby which they have to now redecorate and Cooper headed outside to help his dad with the broken bannister.
Dinner was for everyone, all the places were laid out by Lila and they all sat around the table, except for Steve and Tony. Steve chose to eat his food in the solitary outside while Tony was still in the barn.
After dinner was finished and clean up was in progress, Clint and Laura sat with Lila and Cooper on the couch, supervising creative time and Lowri headed up the cleaning. She stood at the sink with her back to everyone else.
She turned to face the commotion as someone new walked in. It turned out to be Nick Fury. She knew that he was alive. She had known ever since seeing him in the cave when he was still recovering, but it had been so long since that meeting in the cave.
They shared a look over the kitchen table and then Lowri turned back to the unwashed dishes and continued washing them. She also knew that sooner or later, she and Nick would have some words.
Steve came into the room soon after Nick and Tony and he stepped gingerly towards Lowri, carefully moving as if not to startle her, Lowri heard his footsteps and she stepped to the side so he could place his plate in the sink and walk away, back over to Nick.
Lowri washed the rest of the dishes in silence, while the others spoke in low tones then she heard them disperse and she dried her hands on one of the tea towels hanging up and she heard someone walk closer and stop a few steps away from her.
"We need to talk." Nick said in a low tone.
Lowri turned to face him, still with the tea towel in her hands and nodded once. She tossed the tea towel onto the countertop and walked just in front of Nick, leading him through the kitchen, through the living toom where everyone else was gathered and then out onto the front porch.
As she walked through the living room, she felt Steve's eyes on her back and she wondered whether his eyes were concerned, love or slight hate.
The sky was dark and the air was thinner and laced with cold but Lowri didn't feel it. She walked down the steps and as soon as her feet hit the grassy front garden, she turned and looked at Nick.
For the first time since she laid eyes on Nick, she felt intimidated by him.
"What the hell is going on with you, Jones?" Nick asked, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at him with his one eye.
"I could ask you the same, Nick." Lowri replied, "You're supposed to be dead."
Nick's expression broke and he smiled. He didn't drop his defensive stance though.
"Tell me what's going on, Ri." Nick said, he sat down on the second step from the bottom and looked up at her. "Stark's got a death wish, Thor's off gallivanting away from the team, Banner's almost lost it and you and Rogers are off."
"Thor is looking for answers." Lowri said, she began pacing in front of him, seemingly to never meet his eye. "Tony's always had a death wish, pretty much since he designed the first suit. Bruce is struggling and coming to terms with different things. And Steve is off with me."
"I think that works both ways, Ri." Nick reminded her.
"Alright, so I'm angry with him. Can't I be angry?" Lowri asked, she still paced and she still didn't look at him.
"No. Because when you get angry, you set things on fire and I'm pretty sure that the Barton's won't be happy if you set their barn on fire." Nick remarked.
"So, Steve hasn't told you what he said to me?" Lowri asked.
"He doesn't tell me about your lover's tiffs." Nick said slowly, Lowri scowled at him and he only smiled.
"Steve blames me for us not being able to live as a family, because I'm not able to give him children." Lowri said, she turned from Nick and began pacing again. "But, I'm not focusing on that because we don't have time to focus on that."
"So, what are you focusing on?" Nick asked slowly.
"Recovering." Lowri said through gritted teeth. Just talking about what Steve said angered her, she clenched her hands into fists and tried so hard not to set things on fire.
"It's good to know that you're still on your game." Nick said.
"I've been in this game a lot longer than everyone else." Lowri said almost smugly.
"You and Rogers will work through this, and you know it." Nick said.
"It's just hard going through it right now. I've never let anyone into my heart but I let him in and so far, it's not working out for me." Lowri said, "Let's go back inside. I'm sure Clint and Bruce will have some questions as to why you're still kicking around."
Nick chuckled and smiled at her, he shrugged his shoulders and then pulled himself to his feet.
"You're probably right." Nick said with a smile.
"Aren't I always?" Lowri asked with a smirk, "Come on. Let's go in."
Thanks all for reading
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