Elena sighed heavily at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was artfully pinned away from her face with large curls rolling down her shoulders. Her makeup was neutral, just tones of browns and grays with a swipe or two of mascara. Her black dress was very simple and conservative, falling to her knees and covering up to her neck.
She figured the more she blended in, the easier this day would be.
It wasn't a day she'd ever imagined would come so soon, and her heart broke for her best friend.
Caroline's mom passed away just a few days ago.
She went to the doctor for a checkup after noticing recurring migraines, and they found a cancerous tumor in her brain. They gave her only a few months to live after explaining that at such a late stage the tumor was untreatable through surgery, chemotherapy, or radiation.
Caroline took off the semester from college to be with her mom in her final days, despite Liz's many protests. It was their last semester before graduation, so now she was just shy of the credits needed for a degree. Graduation was early last month, so Elena and Bonnie walked across the stage, but they couldn't be as happy as they should have been because their third musketeer wasn't there.
Immediately after the semester ended, both girls packed up everything they owned at Whitmore and came home to be there for Caroline and her mom.
Liz had been like a second mom to both girls, after Bonnie's mom left her with her father when she was little and Elena's parents passed away. Sleepovers were almost always at Caroline's because Liz would always make sure they had all of the necessary movies, snacks, and games.
While Elena knew Caroline's pain, she couldn't say she shared it in the same way today. Liz had been like a mom to her, yes, but she wasn't her real mom. And Elena couldn't compare that feeling to the simple loss of someone she was close to.
Caroline was a wreck, and even if somehow everyone did manage to convince her to stay in college, she would have failed every class she took.
Knowing that her mom's life had a deadline put her neurotic tendencies to the test. She went through the stages of grief before Liz was even gone.
First, it was denial. She hadn't even taken the news seriously at first, thinking that vampire blood would heal her right up. When that failed, she started panicking. She tried convincing her mom to turn into a vampire, as crazy as the idea was, even though Liz had no desire to be one. That plan was also quickly put in the reject pile when Caroline decided to experiment on a stranger with the same diagnosis as Liz. Vampires and cancer don't mix well, it seemed.
Then Caroline was forced to accept that there was nothing she could do to help her mom, and that she was in fact dying.
Anger, obviously, was next. She snapped at anyone that talked to her and blamed herself for not taking advantage of the time she had with her mom in the past. Throughout high school she was a raging bitch to Liz, and she couldn't handle the fact that she wasted all of that time being mad for no reason.
Bargaining had kind of been included in the whole denial stage, but after she stopped being angry she devoted every waking moment to searching for a cure through magic since modern medicine had failed her. Bonnie tried to explain that magic doesn't heal terminal human illnesses, but she wouldn't listen. She went on cross country trips trying to track down every last option, though not alone.
Stefan tagged along with her on almost anything she did. In the few years since they became close, they still hadn't crossed that line of friendship despite flirting with it on more than one occasion.
Now wasn't the time to make a move though, which was painfully obvious. Liz's death affected the entire town, not just Caroline, and nobody was in a place to be making life-altering decisions.
Depression was where Caroline found herself for about a total of three days, before she put on a brave face and moved to acceptance.
And that was all a month before Liz actually passed away.
On that day, Caroline learned that she really hadn't accepted it, or even grieved. She knew that the day would come, but that didn't make it any less painful. Her mom tried consoling her while in the hospital, but it was no use.
She just wanted to be alone.
She threw herself into planning the funeral, unsurprisingly. Or at least putting the finishing touches on it since it had been mostly planned before Liz's death. That way with the costs and insurance, everything could be handled before the real devastation set in.
The funeral started in a few hours, but Elena and Damon were showing up early both for Caroline and Liz.
In the rare moments that Caroline was away from her mom, everyone had filled a lot of Liz's time, trying to get in their last words with her before she was gone.
Damon, namely, was having a hard time with it all.
Liz had been one of his first friends after coming back to Mystic Falls. They had initially bonded over their hatred of Carol Lockwood in the council, and despite more than a few bumps in the road what with vampirism and all, they were still friends. Damon would still have a drink with her at the bar every now and then, and during any town functions that Elena couldn't attend, she was his saving grace. They even formed a new council, since it was agreed that the humans still needed a designated group to protect them from anything supernaturally dangerous.
She asked Damon to write her eulogy since she knew Caroline wasn't going to be able to function enough to do it.
And he was struggling.
Elena closed her eyes at the fresh wave of pain that washed through at the raw desolation she could see in his eyes every time the topic of Liz was broached. Damon was never one to have many people close to him for this exact reason—losing them hurts a whole hell of a lot worse.
After putting in her diamond earrings that Damon bought her on their second wedding anniversary, Elena slipped into her black heels and headed downstairs to see how he was doing.
He was in the same place she left him, only now, he was dressed in a black suit and tie. Crumpled up pieces of paper were scattered all over the table in the kitchen and lying haphazardly on the floor surrounding the fireplace. Clearly his aim wasn't as good when he was day drinking.
The bottle of bourbon was only half empty next to him on the table, so at least he'd be sober enough for the wake to give his eulogy.
Elena's heart broke at the scene. Damon did his damnedest to put on a brave face around everyone, pretending he didn't care, only to slowly lose himself in his own head. Even after being married for over two years, he still didn't like bearing his soul to Elena if he had the choice.
Her heels clicked softly against the floor as she walked up behind him. He was scribbling something onto a sheet of paper, but as soon as Elena's arms snaked around his chest from behind, he stopped and let the pen fall from his hand. He brought his other hand up to rub his forehead as a deep sigh left his body looking deflated. He eventually leaned his head back to rest against her chest.
She pressed a long kiss to the top of his head then asked, "How's it going?"
"Terrible." He answered without hesitation. He'd spent hours working out what to say ever since Liz asked him to give the eulogy, yet he'd gotten nowhere. "What exactly am I supposed to say? There's no possible way that any words I have to say could make this thing any better, least of all for Caroline."
"You don't know that." Elena pointed out, moving to sit in the chair next to him. She kept one hand on the back of his neck, playing with his hair, while she said, "Caroline's like a sister to you. She might never admit it, but hearing you say some nice, genuine things about her mom would mean a lot to her."
He shook his head dejectedly, "I can't honor Liz's memory with just a few words, Elena. I can't go up in front of the entire damn town and preach about was an amazing person she was, because it's all bullshit. Cliché bullshit that doesn't do her justice."
Elena bit the inside of her cheek as she let Damon work through whatever negative thoughts were swirling around in his head. He had yet to make eye contact with her, letting her know that he was hurting more than he led on. If he looked into her eyes, he'd lose it, and he couldn't lose it now.
She traced her thumb over the curve of his ear as she brushed his hair away from it, giving him some sort of physical comfort. She knew better than anyone that emotional comfort wasn't possible until the person was ready for it.
"How about instead of talking about Liz, you talk about the thing most important to her?" She offered.
He raised a brow and shot her a sideways glance, "What's that?"
Elena smiled a little, "Her daughter."
Damon furrowed his brows and Elena hastily checked the time, realizing if she didn't leave now she was going to be late. Caroline wanted her help with the flowers, and the last thing she wanted to do was show up late.
"Look, I've got to head up to the church. Caroline's expecting me. Make sure you're there by three, and you're set to do the eulogy at four thirty." She moved in to kiss his cheek and he leaned into her before she stood up and headed towards the door. Before she left, she turned and said, "Damon?" She waited until he looked at her. "Don't think too hard about it, okay? Liz wouldn't have asked you if she didn't think you wouldn't do an amazing job."
The funeral hadn't even started yet, but the church was jam-packed with people wanting to pay their respect to the sheriff.
Elena and Damon had already done their part, aside from the eulogy, so they were seated in the second row waiting for everyone to take their seats. Caroline was still somberly greeting the residents of Mystic Falls, her eyes rimmed in red and her lower lip trembling every few words.
Elena had to turn away at the sight, because she remembered how awful it felt to be the object of everyone's pity. She pressed her face against Damon's shoulder as if he could shield her from the world around them, and his grip on her left hand tightened as his finger rubbed against her wedding band.
The tears falling now were far from the last Elena would shed for the day.
Damon noticed that Jeremy and Bonnie were sitting in a similar position a few seats down from them. Stefan and Enzo were hanging around in the back, and Damon was sure that had to be awkward as all hell.
Since Stefan was moving slower than a snail's pace at making a move on Caroline, Enzo had taken it upon himself to make a pass at her. Of course, it all started before they found out Liz was sick, but Enzo hadn't stopped being supportive for a even a second.
If you would have asked Damon back then if he thought Enzo had a chance at Vampire Barbie, he would have laughed out a lung. But now…well, things were looking like he had a real chance at snagging Caroline, and Damon wasn't sure how he felt about that.
He didn't know the details; frankly he didn't care. It just seemed that his brother was coming home in a pissy mood more often than not, and Damon had to resist every urge to ask him how it felt to have the woman he loves' relationship with another guy rubbed in his face. That's what Stefan did to him with Elena, wasn't it? And he didn't even try to be subtle.
But bygones were bygones, and Damon had no desire to bring up the past when it was of no importance anymore. Besides, his little brother was finally starting to feel like his best friend again, and he didn't want him to get hurt. Especially by one of Damon's friends.
Aside from them though, there was nobody else at the funeral that they really knew. None of their friends from college came, because they didn't know about it. Caroline wasn't exactly jumping at the bit to tell everyone that her mom was dying, and that was why she was missing their last semester of school together.
All of their lives had pretty much halted at the news, but everyone else's seemed to keep passing by.
Now that she had graduated, Elena didn't really have many plans for her life. She was going to write, that much she knew, but with an endless list of opportunities in front of her she didn't know which one to take first.
There was traveling, to name one. Seeing the world with Damon would be a dream come true.
But she was getting a little ahead of herself. Caroline wasn't going to feel better anytime soon, and she needed to be here in Mystic Falls for her as long as it took. After all, they did have forever to do anything they wanted.
The minister started the ceremony by saying a few prayers in honor of Liz's Catholic upbringing and the crowd rose to join in a few hymns. Elena tried her best not to think about her parents' funeral because this wasn't about her, and she didn't want to make it about her. Yeah, it was bringing up the memories, but she kept them to herself to let Caroline know that it was her day to grieve, and no one else could take that away from her.
When it was time for Damon's eulogy, Elena whispered words of luck to him as he stood and walked towards the podium. He pulled out the sheet of paper from his inside jacket pocket that had been burning a hole into his chest the entire evening. He flattened it against the wood, smoothing out the creases so he could read it.
"Liz was a woman loved by all." He began. "She was protective of this town and her family, and she took pride in her title as Sheriff, probably more than anyone else can say about their jobs. So instead of mourning her death, I say we honor her life by upholding her legacy. And who better to represent her than her own daughter?" Caroline's bleary eyes shot up to his at that from where she sat in the front row, and Damon gave her a small smile before continuing. "They actually have a lot in common, despite their glaring differences, and Liz was so proud of the woman Caroline has grown into. I think we can all agree actually that she's become one of the most vibrant, compassionate, and beautiful women this town has to offer. It takes a lot of strength and courage to even be here today, looking as amazing as she does, and she deserves all of the credit in the world. My mother passed away when I was seventeen, and I chickened out on the eulogy then. But this time, it isn't for me. It's for Caroline, and Liz, and I couldn't let them down like I let down my brother and family, because if Caroline has the ability to be here today, then I know her bravery will be all the motivation I need to tell her that Liz will be missed, but never forgotten, and when she needs her mom the most, she will always be there to watch over her and guide her through all of the important parts in her life."
He paused a moment before continuing, "As much as Liz would love seeing all of the support this town has shown by even being here today, she wouldn't have wanted any of us to lose sight of what's important in the face of grief. She would want all of her coworkers to keep protecting Mystic Falls. She would want her friends to appreciate the time they did have with her, and make peace with the fact that life can be short. Liz was a woman unlike any other, and though she made many mistakes in her time, she passed as a woman loved by all. Her legacy will continue in this town through her daughter, and I know that whatever Caroline chooses to do, as long as she's happy, her mom will be proud of her from wherever she is right now, looking down on us all. Liz was an amazing friend, sheriff, and mother, and she will always hold a place in all of our hearts."
Damon stepped down from the podium and the crowd began clapping, but he hardly heard it because all that he could focus on was the blonde hair in his face as Caroline hugged him to her with bone-crushing strength. He smirked a little to himself then caught Elena's watery gaze. She was beaming at him, and he shot her a wink before returning his attention to Caroline.
He kissed her cheek before giving her a small, sincere smile. She was speechless, every word she wanted to say conveyed perfectly in her tear jerking expression. Damon tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear before heading back to his seat next to Elena.
All Elena could do was give him a quick kiss on the cheek to show her appreciation.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. The wake lasted only another hour before the procession began, and everyone went to the cemetery. Well, everyone meaning only those that Liz was closest to.
Elena and Bonnie took Caroline in their arms and held her tight the entire time to ensure that she wouldn't fall apart just yet. Tonight the three girls were having a sleepover so they could try to make sure Caroline was okay. At least physically okay, because emotionally, it would take time to heal.
Caroline hadn't wanted them to make a big deal over her, and she used plenty of excuses to try and get them to cancel. Damon needing Elena tonight after everything was one of them, but Elena knew that Caroline needed her more. Liz was her mom, and that kind of pain wasn't so easily brushed off. She tried convincing Bonnie that she was fine and that she should be at home getting ready for her trip to California, but Bonnie wasn't taking no for an answer either. Jeremy was offered an internship with a graphic design company in LA over the summer, and now that Bonnie was on the lookout for a job, she decided to spend her last free summer vacationing with him.
When the funeral finally ended, everyone split up to head home. Jeremy went back to his place, he even had the deed in his name now that Elena was married and living with Damon. Stefan and Damon went back to the boarding house. Enzo headed out for whatever apartment he decided to hole up in. And the three girls headed back to Caroline's place.
The entire night was spent trying to distract themselves from the crippling pain for even a second. It wasn't the best sleepover they'd ever had, but it was one step in the direction of healing.
Elena didn't get home until late afternoon the next day, having spent the day with Caroline and Bonnie. As soon as she stepped in the door the stench of booze attacked her senses, though she didn't expect anything else. She tossed her bag down on the floor next to the door and threw her keys on the end table before venturing further into the house. She knew Damon was here; she could hear him breathing.
It didn't take her long to track him down in the library, passed out on the floor with his face smashed into the rug and an empty bottle still in his hand.
Maybe he had needed her last night more than she thought…
Sighing, she pried the bottle from his hand and set it on an end table before sitting down next to him. Reaching out to him, she pushed his hair out of his eyes and softly said, "Damon…?"
He stirred slightly but made no move to get up, and Elena smiled. He was awake. It didn't take much to wake him up. He groaned tiredly and Elena's smile deepened. She moved her hand down his back and rubbed up and down his thick muscles, relishing in the thinness of his t-shirt.
She gently massaged the back of his shoulder with one hand while saying, "I know, baby, but it's almost five in the afternoon."
The only indication that he heard her was the pout on his lips. Elena continued rubbing his back in soothing circles, slowly coaxing him awake while trying to gauge how upset he was. Once she knew that, she could work on making him feel better.
"How are you feeling today?" She asked gently, her tone urging him to give her the truth.
His body seemed to sink further into the floor as he let out a long breath, though his muscles were relaxed beneath her touch. It took him a moment, but finally he cracked open an eye and said, "I shouldn't be this upset."
Elena smiled sadly before dropping to lay next to him on the floor. She stroked his cheek from where she rested on her side, then said, "Come here."
He wordlessly scooted closer and Elena flipped onto her back to let him lay his head on her chest. She sifted her fingers into his thick hair and his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close.
"Of course you should be upset, Damon." She eventually said. "Liz was your friend. There's nothing wrong with being sad and missing her."
There was a beat of silence before he started, "I know death, Elena. I've lived through more of it than I ever should have, I've even caused it on too many occasions to count. I lost my mother when I was a teenager, and though he may not have mattered as much, my father a few years later. Not to mention all of the friends I'd made once I became a vampire that fell victim to that life and died. I've watched the expressions on people's faces as they saw me drain the life from someone they loved. I know death, but I never learned how to grieve."
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Elena offered, "Me neither." Damon didn't say anything, so a few moments later she continued, "I don't think anybody knows how to grieve. It's such a vague word that can mean so many different things…I've seen grief do strange things to people. It's done strange things to me, even, but that doesn't make it wrong. Because in the end, whatever you have to do to make it through the pain is the only thing that matters."
"Even if it's drinking the day away?" He asked bitterly, as though he was upset with himself for reacting that way.
Elena dropped a kiss to the top of his head, "A day or two here and there doesn't hurt, but you know it's not going to help."
"Then what will help?" He questioned exasperatedly.
"Talking about it, for starters." She told him honestly. "And time. That's a big one."
Except Damon didn't want to talk. He didn't want to feel this pain to begin with, and he knew talking would make it worse before it got better. He wasn't ready to deal with that just yet, so instead, he changed the subject.
"How's Caroline doing?"
"Not good." Elena answered instantly. "You know her, she throws herself into anything that will distract her. Stefan got there to take over just as I was leaving."
"And what are those two lovebirds doing today?"
She smiled a little, "Nothing romantic, that I can promise you. When I left, Caroline was talking about moving to a new city. Stefan's probably trying to talk her out of it right about now."
"Maybe a change of scenery wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." Damon mused. "At least for now. It's not like Mystic Falls has anything holding her here, or any of us, really."
"True as that may be, the funeral was yesterday. I don't think now is the time to pick up and leave."
Damon flipped his head so he was looking up at Elena and replied, "Au contraire, kitten. Now's a better time than any. She's going to have countless people she doesn't even know showing up at her doorstep offering her their condolences for days, not to mention all of the babying she's going to get from them all. I'd be shocked if she manages to get through this unscathed without even flipping her switch and going on a bender."
"You think she'd flip her switch?" Elena asked worriedly. Caroline had always been one of the strongest vampires she knew. She never struggled with control or her emotions, in fact, she truly became herself once she transitioned.
Damon shrugged, "If I'd had a switch when I was human and lost my mom, I would've turned my emotions off. Wouldn't you?"
Elena ran the thought through her mind before saying, "Honestly? I would have thought about it. But I had Jeremy to look after; I couldn't just abandon him."
"But who does Caroline have that's depending on her?" Damon pointed out. "Sure, she's got all of her friends, but none of us count on her to be here. The only reason she really has for not flipping it would be love, but seeing as how her romantic life is a giant mess, I wouldn't count on that keeping her here."
"Do you think I should call Stefan and warn him? Maybe he should get Caroline out of here, at least for a couple months so she's not surrounded by everything that reminds her of her mom…"
"Where's your phone?" Damon asked, his grip around her tightening ever so slightly. He wasn't going to let her get up without a fight, and she knew it.
"In my back pocket."
He snuck his hand underneath her and gave her ass a playful squeeze before pulling out her phone. He handed it to her and she typed out a message to Stefan suggesting he take Caroline on a little vacation. Maybe he could take her on a cross country road trip like Damon did with her when they first met. Trapped in a car for long periods of time meant there were a lot of opportunities to talk things through, and not only did Caroline need to get out all of her grief, but she needed to figure out her feelings for Stefan and Enzo.
After hitting send, Elena asked, "Now what about you? What can I do to make you feel better?" Seeing that teasing glint reappear in his eyes, she quickly added, "And being real, please."
He smirked at getting caught with his mind in the gutter then said, "Being real? You. You can make me feel better."
She smiled warmly at him and ran her hands through his hair again, "So what do you want to do tonight? We can go out to a nice restaurant, or even just The Grill and grab a few drinks, or we can stay in and maybe cook a nice dinner…"
"Hm…" He deliberated. "How about something a little more…naked?"
Elena tried to suppress a grin as she said, "More naked? Well how about we go for a swim in the brand new pool?"
"I think I could get behind that…" Damon smirked, pulling Elena on top of him as he rolled over. Their lips connected in a brief kiss before he said, "No swimsuits though. From the sounds of it, Stefan won't be home, so there will be no accidentally walking in on us."
That had happened more times than any of them cared to admit. It was kind of hard to avoid with two married vampires that had raging libidos and lived with another person. Stefan had considered getting his own place so he wouldn't be invading theirs anymore, despite both of them insisting that it was Stefan's home as much as it was theirs, but he spent most of his time with Caroline anyways, so he was hardly home.
"Am I hearing you correctly?" Elena teased. "You're finally going to go for a swim in the brand-spanking-new pool you bought for no reason?"
Well, it wasn't really 'no reason,' Damon just wasn't quite ready to let Elena in on why yet. So he let her believe that the buy had been when he was drunk and that the deposit was non-refundable, so they were forced into getting the pool.
It was beautiful, built right into the ground behind the stone patio that had been on the house ever since Elena knew him. The contractor had extended the same stone as accent details so it blended into the house like it had been there all along. There was even a built in hot tub that sat elevated a foot or two above the pool, with a waterfall spilling over into the pool.
He wasn't really much of a swimmer to start with, meaning that the pool was only used by Elena and their friends, though it wasn't for her lack of trying.
But maybe tonight, he was feeling closer to his family. After experiencing all of the pain from the past few days, he wanted to spend a little more time with his wife, even if that meant swimming with her. He had actually been doing a lot of things around the house lately that he hadn't told her about, though the pool was kind of an exception. It was pretty hard to hide that.
Their third anniversary was coming up soon in October, and he was going to give her one hell of a gift. He just hoped that when it came down to it, she liked it.
"I know, it was an impulse buy, but wouldn't you rather get in that water that I pay to have heated to a toasty eighty degrees than question it?"
She smirked, "Only if you're in that bathwater too."