Chapter 45: Two Kinds of Pain

Jack had officially run out of ammo now in his back and forth with Ashley. The two of them had shot the entire vault to pieces until there was almost nothing left to hide behind, and the Normandy still hadn't arrived yet. What was taking Feron so long getting the rest of the crew back on the ship? Hopefully Garrus and Kal saw the bigger picture and were willing to let Sidonis go. They were waiting on the Normandy so they could get out of there. He was starting to panic over having to fight Ashley without any weapons but, a second explosion from above them shook the floor and made the lights go out all around them. It was clear Ashley didn't have any sort of night vision because the five of them were able to hide from her flashlight and not get shot.

While Ashley was slowly scanning around the large vault, Jack could see Vetra and Kasumi were doing their best to patch Sidera's wounds with all the medi gel they had. He was grateful for how quiet they were being so he wouldn't have to fight Ashley in the dark. Jack knew the only way that ended was with him killing her because she wasn't giving him another choice. Whatever evidence the Alliance had linking him to the Collector attacks had to be pretty damn convincing if they were willing to start a war with Aria. Maybe Cora had manipulated audio files to get him to say something or, she hired a person who looked like him for a video feed. Whichever option it was, Jack saw defeating the Collectors as the only way to clear his name.

Ashley fired a few random shots in the wrong direction before spinning around searching for them, "You know, looking back I hate myself for actually thinking you were a good Commander! You were always putting the non-Human crew members ahead of the rest of the crew, not following Alliance protocol... I should've known this is how it would turn out."

He raised his voice so the noise would echo around the room, "Listen to what your saying Williams, I hate Humans so I'm working with Cerberus? It's ridiculous and you know it."

She fired closer to where they were, "Not if they were blackmailing you! You were willing to blow up an Alliance ship full of evacuating slaves and your mother just for one person. Someone like that sure as hell would be willing to sell out the rest of their race for the same guy. It's sickening!"

The two situations were completely different in Jack's eyes but, he understood where she was coming from. He had indeed fired the weapon on Torfan just to save Kal but, it wasn't something he was proud of. Why would he ever want to do that again on a galactic scale? His relationship with Kal wouldn't survive if they were dead and the Reapers returned. Jack guessed Ashley was merely comparing his arguments to some of the things Saren told them on the hunt. From her perspective you could've swapped Kal for Garrus and the motivation would've been the same for him and Saren. The difference was that wasn't happening here and he wasn't indoctrinated.

A sudden yell from behind him made his gut tense, "AHHH, please, please don't hurt me! AHHHHH, I'll be a good girl I swear!"

Vetra tried to calm her down but the damage had been done. Sid had woken up and was screaming because of the bullet wounds from his firefight with Ashley. Jack knew she was smart enough to follow the noise so, he only had one option, turn himself in. Since the Normandy still wasn't picking them up, Ashley would want to detain all of them. Once the Alliance realized who Vetra really was, they would lock her away forever. That would leave an already damaged Sidera without any kind of parent and she'd go into the foster system. He didn't want either of the Turians to have to go through that, it's what she would do for him. Besides, with the Normandy nowhere in sight, Jack didn't have another good option.

Jack held his hands up and quickly stepped into the flashlight's spotlight so she wouldn't see the others, "Alright, you got me. I'll come with you on one condition, you let the others go."

Ashley tilted her head moving the light towards Vetra and Sid, Kasumi was curiously absent, "What the hell is the this Shepard?"

Jack took a deep breath, "This is just a girl who's been in a bad place. Your going to let her and her sister go get medical treatment without taking them into custody."

EDI's voice seemingly whispered in his ear, "Shepard, we will be at your location in five seconds. Stall for as long as possible."

Ashley gripped her rifle tighter approaching him, "I heard a voice Shepard, whatever your thinking about doing, I suggest you stand down. Now!"

He was about to respond when a floating piece of marble hit her on the back of the head and Kasumi appeared, "Not really sorry about that, you seem like such a hard ass so I thought you deserved a nap."

He relaxed his arms with a frown looking down at her unconscious form for a few seconds. Jack couldn't help but feel sorry for her knowing she thought she was so close to saving Humanity. Instead, all Ashley and Vega had accomplished was pissing off Aria T'Loak to the point that she started a war. It was hard for him to know whether or not Alliance command had approved the nature of the strike but, Jack knew there was no taking it back now. No amount of diplomatic maneuvering on Udina's part could just make this go away quietly. The Alliance had spilled blood in the Terminus breaking the Treaty of Torfan.

Aria was moving away from the bomb she just planted, "I suggest everyone get out of the blast zone."

Vetra covered Sid's ears and held her face close until the explosion went off, "I know it's scary right now but I'm here and I'm not letting anyone hurt you ever again." She picked her up and looked over at Aria, "Come with us out of here at least."

The Asari shook her head, "I have my own ride up on the docks... I hope we don't see each other again. I've got a reputation to keep."

Vetra clearly looked heartbroken but was trying to hide it for Sid's benefit, "Yeah, me too."

Aria started marching towards the elevator, "Take care of yourself Shepard."

The Normandy swooped around the to the hole in the vault and the three of them went inside. Vetra and Kasumi headed towards the elevator to the medbay while Kal was standing in the airlock waiting for him. Jack could see the plastic arms of his fancy suit were covered in Human blood and some glowing Quarian blood dribbled down from his shoulder. The way Kal was just sort of standing there obviously numb made it abundantly clear something was wrong. After just a few seconds, they threw their arms around the other and squeezed gently. Jack had no idea this mission was going to be so dangerous, it was supposed to be just a simple heist. Sure, it had technically been successful but, at what cost?

He held Kal close, looking into his eyes through the helmet, "Is she ok...?"

Kal was shaking lightly and just squeezed him tighter, "S...probably. Her legs were shredded Jack, I've never heard anyone scream like that before. Keelah, it made me so sick knowing I couldn't make the pain go away.. She was begging me to make it go away. Fuck..."

Jack cupped the side of his helmet, "I know, we have to be strong for her right now though. Go get cleaned up, I'll stay with her."

Kal didn't move for a few moments looking down at his feet, "Jack... I killed Arnold. He was shooting at Zero and I just started shooting back."

The news hit him hard, not because he still had feelings for him, but because he knew what this would do to Kal. He would probably see it as his fault even though it already sounded as though it was self defense. There was also the possibility Kal would be worried Jack would assume he did it out of jealousy. Jack knew Kal better than that but with that in mind, he knew that was the kind of thing the Quarian would feel. Either way, Kal was going to carry this around with him for a long time, and if the Alliance could somehow link it back to him, they would do everything they could to arrest him too.

Jack held him as close as physically possible and made Kal look in his eyes, "You did what you had to do to protect yourself and Zero. I would've done the same thing and you know it."

Kal sighed staring at him, "Ok...could you go down to the cargo hold and get her omni tool? I'm sure she'll want it when she wakes up and I need to get in my real suit."

Jack nodded and gently let him go, "Of course, I'll meet you in medbay. Get us some blankets so we can sleep in there and wait for her to wake up."

Joker tried to cough as normally as possible to get their attention, "I don't mean to interrupt Commander but, we're gonna need a heading."

Jack watched Kal disappear in the elevator and turned around, "Any luck on the Collector data EDI?"

EDI seemed to sound rather disappointed with herself, "Unfortunately, the information I received off of the Collector dreadnought's bridge contained one hundred million quilezites worth of files. It will still be some time before I am able to locate relevant data on the Omega-4 Relay. My best ETA is two more weeks."

He nodded rubbing the back of his neck, "It's alright EDI, take your time so we get the right data. Joker, for now just wait on Miranda to check back in and pick her up. We'll figure out the rest later."

Jack didn't wait on Joker to acknowledge what he said and headed towards the elevator. He had so much floating around his head and didn't really have a good answer for any of it. The galaxy was going to devolve into pure chaos now and he had no good answers for any of it. How many people were going to die in a war with the Terminus just because he didn't turn himself in. Every single future death was going to be on his hands, it was a total catastrophe. However, the Reapers actually invading the galaxy because governments wouldn't listen to him would be far worse. This was for the best of everyone, no matter how painful it was in the short term.

The elevator ride to the cargo hold was a quiet one, everyone was probably in the medbay getting looked at for various injuries. It was a good time to just let himself slump to the floor and put his head in his hands. The door opened before he could wallow in the bad situation he found himself in and to his surprise, the hold's lights were already on. Surely Zero wasn't well enough to sneak down here mere minutes after being shot in the legs so, who else would want to be down here? After getting closer to her little hide away, Jack started to slow down when he heard several Turian voices. His first thought was Garrus and Saren were talking until he heard the recorded nature of it and the raised voices.

He recognized the first to be Nihlus' to his surprise, "It was war Saren, I guarantee you we created just as many orphans as well. And saying you had no family after that is just not true, the Vakarians took you in with opened arms. They gave you everything they had and when Garrus came along he loved you like a brother. He still does by the way, maybe you should acknowledge that after what you put him through."

Saren's indoctrinated snarl answered, "Don't lecture me on that. Garrus needed to learn you can't always trust another SPECTRE's word. Apparently, I can't either..." The real Saren's voice cut into the recording, "You don't mean that! Tell him you don't mean that!"

Nihlus answered gently, "I have always been on your side, you know that right?" A second passed, "Why else would I help you change Garrus' diapers with you? Talk to your Mom while you were at the store? Saren, I love you. Can you trust me on this? I promise I didn't do this lightly. Please?"

Jack stopped his approach realizing how much of a private moment he had stumbled in on. This had to be the rest of the 'insurance policy' recording Nihlus had given him. It was the piece of evidence that led them to Tali and thus the rest of the investigation into Saren. He hadn't listened to this section because he had rushed out of the apartment thinking Garrus was a traitor. Now it felt like he was invading Saren's privacy, especially knowing what happened after on Eden Prime. The admission surprised him but, in hindsight it made sense. Nihlus hadn't told them about his suspicions before Eden Prime because he didn't want to believe someone he loved would attack a colony.

He heard a slap on the recording, "Don't you dare touch me after nominating that Human. He's filth and so are you." The real Saren gasped, "No,no,no,no,no, don't you dare leave. Tell him you love him damnit! Tell him before you don't have another chance!"

Nihlus sounded hurt and surprisingly desperate, "You don't mean that Saren, please tell me what's going on, I can help you. I...I don't want to be without y-"

Jack heard the sound of a punch, "I said, don't touch me! Next time I'll kill you, stay out of my life!"

A door slammed and he could hear Nihlus crying as quietly as possible, "Well...snf...I guess I'm staying the course. Fuck...SP...whatever."

The video ended and he could hear Saren start to cry, "Nih..I didn't mean any of that.. Spirits..tell him I..." He trailed off in a sob.

Jack would be lying if he said the sight wasn't very strange. Saren had been either extremely stoic or cold with him depending on when they communicated. Seeing him breakdown at the realization that this was the last conversation he had with a loved one of at least thirty years was heartbreaking. He couldn't begin to imagine how he would feel if someone showed him having that kind of conversation with Kal. It was especially rough knowing Saren hadn't been in control during any of that already being a slave to Sovereign. Jack did his best to sneak behind him to get Zero's omni tool trying not to disturb him.

Saren snapped up to his feet attempting to wipe away as many tears as he could, "Shepard... I didn't know you were down here. I apologize for not joining you on the last mission, I've still been recovering from..." He motioned to the top and back of his head which was missing it's fringe.

Jack put the omni tool in an armored pocket. The Turian seemed wanting to ignore the obvious fact that Jack had heard at least some of that conversation. He could tell Saren was flustered though, that had to be the most polite thing he had ever told Jack. The smartest thing Jack could do was respect Saren's wishes and ignore the elephant in the room but, it was eating Saren apart. The regret of not telling Nihlus he loved him was all over Saren's face. Jack knew that kind of feeling from the immediate aftermath of Torfan and had wished he had someone to talk to at the time. He was sure Saren wouldn't tell any of this to Garrus so, he might as well try to get him to open up.

His elbow leaned on one of the crates and he smiled, "I'm not a slave master Saren, take as much time to recover as you need. How are you feeling?"

Saren gave a far more typical cold laugh, "I don't need your pity Shepard. I'm operational for the official mission, the control chip is still enabled however. So I'd suggest not leaving Cerberus yet."

Jack wasn't phased by the cold shoulder, "Showing empathy isn't the same thing as pity Saren. I like knowing my crew, we're family. Dysfunctional sometimes maybe but, family nonetheless."

Saren rolled his eyes and sat down on Zero's bed, "So, being a pretend psychologist runs in the Shepard family then? Your mother thought the way you do, and it didn't work out well for her."

Jack sat across from him on one of the boxes, "Do you want to talk about that then? I'm not gonna leave until you get something off your chest Saren. Keeping everything in your life bottled up isn't healthy, and I need everyone focused on the mission."

Saren glared at the ceiling for a moment with a sigh, "Fine. I was part of your father's unit in the Turian cabal, an elite biotic division of the Turian military, just as he was assigned to a multi species task force. One of our brilliant scientists had apparently been kidnapping Humans and experimenting on them."

Jack leaned forward showing genuine interest, "Doctor Septimus Oraka, mom told me that part of the story at least."

Saren seemed to relax a little, "Yes, you have to remember this was only ten years after Relay 314. The Alliance wanted to be sure the abductions weren't sanctioned by the Hierarchy and so that's how the task force was formed. We were each others check and balance so to speak." He seemed to be looking for the right words before he went on, "I knew Oraka wasn't behind it just for the simple fact Harper was working with your mother."

Jack raised an eyebrow, "So The Illusive Man worked on her team too? He failed to really mention that."

Saren chuckled seemingly actually amused, "That doesn't surprise me, he didn't succeed in starting another Human-Turian war so why would he mention it? I won't bore you with the details but, I found evidence Oraka was being framed by Harper and I acted. I killed his wife first and then I beat him to the point that he became blind afterwards, hence the eyes. Sadly, your mother cared too much about her crew as a family and ultimately stopped me from killing him. Look how well that has turned out for the galaxy Shepard? Can you imagine what things would be like without Cerberus?"

Jack shook his head, "That's not fair Saren, she had absolutely no idea he would do all the things he has. Why would she?"

Saren shifted on the bed trying to get comfortable, "My point Shepard is that you can't be that close to your crew, it clouds your judgement. One of these days your going to have to sacrifice a member of your family for the greater good. I'm sure you have other things to do. And I need to...hear his voice again."

Jack knew when he was getting told to leave and slowly stood up, "For the record Saren, he knew. He didn't tell us immediately it was you even though he had prior intel about you. I think he hoped he could talk you down."

He left to go to the medbay, hearing Nihlus' recording begin again.