The Doctor closed his eyes as he played the final few notes, enjoying the sound of the notes slowly becoming too soft for even him to hear. It was such a pleasant, relaxing sound. He enjoyed it almost as much as he enjoyed playing the guitar in the first place. He should have picked one up sooner. He'd forgotten that he'd even learnt how to play.
He knew he was just wasting time, distracting himself, but he still started playing the opening notes to Pretty Woman. His fingers found the notes with ease. The whole activity turned out to be a good way to keep himself calm. Something about being able to focus on something that had a start, middle and an end that he knew was coming.
Plus, if he said so himself, he was rather good at playing. Actually, he was rather fantastic at playing. Not that was surprising. He once played triangle in Carmen, the guitar wasn't exactly a step too far was it?
There was just something very nice about knowing he wasn't going to fail at what he was doing. He could always play the songs he chose because he knew how to play them. If he didn't then he would learn. It was a simple as that.
"Blind men say only fools rush in." He hadn't even noticed the fact that he'd changed song. It was only when his brain caught up with the fact that he was singing did he trail off with a rather sudden stop. He'd been trying very hard not to think of that song.
He placed the guitar down against the console, moving over to sit on the stairs. Danni hadn't said anything to him before going to bed except goodnight. No 'Love you, Spaceman', or calling him sweetie. Or, in fact, called him his name. Or The ta.
He missed it. He missed hearing her whisper it, and scolding him with it. He missed how affectionate she had been before she regenerated. He knew that it had been exactly like he had been towards her when he had regenerated, but his had come out of his own fear of being too affectionate. This was coming from her fear of being watched.
He hoped, anyway.
Actually, no, he didn't. As much as he missed the warmth of her previous body he hoped that it was just because she didn't want to be affectionate anymore. He wanted it to be because she didn't want to be affectionate with him. Anything that meant that it wasn't because she was terrified of Missy being there. Anything that meant that she wasn't scared at all anymore.
He ran a hand over his face. He knew that she was, though, and that was the worst thing. She had allowed herself a moment of comfort on Skaro and had since pulled back, preferring to look after herself. She pretended to be fine, but he knew that she wasn't. She was far from fine and he knew that he was probably the least equipped person in the universe to try and help her. Not because he couldn't comfort people, or comfort her, but because he was in the midst of his own grief and he couldn't offer her everything she needed.
In the back of his mind was always the thought that he'd never saved her. Not only had she escaped and found him – which actually was no less than he should have expected – but his wife had died. Danielle had been taken by a mad woman and had never been saved. That wasn't his fault, he knew that, but it sure felt like it was. How could he help her come back to herself if he couldn't even save her from an avoidable death?
He glanced towards the hallway. Even now, despite his rational side telling him that she was safe and sound in bed, he just wanted to go see her. Not hold her, not kiss her, not beg for her forgiven, just see her. He wanted to know that she was still there because he'd spent so long not knowing where she was. He remembered getting this obsessed with it when she was jumping as the times that he spent alone grew longer. He'd thought he was over it. He obviously was not.
Damn him and his sentimentality. He was supposed to be an ancient and wise time traveller, not some love-sick puppy. He could spend a few hours on his own playing the guitar. He didn't need to see her.
He stood up and walked over to his guitar, picking it up again. He placed the strap over his head and held it like he was going to rock an arena. Which he could totally do. He should do that, one day. It was on his to-do list.
He flicked his sunglasses down from on top of his head as he got into character. He could have won that axe battle with just his guitar alone. He was fighting against a Dalek, though. It was a bit of an unfair fight.
His fingers worked magnificently across the strings and he quickly fell into playing his music once again. The calmness that fell over him with incredibly relaxing. Until he stopped, facing the doorway, where his fingers fell still once again.
He sighed in exasperation, practically ripping his sunglasses of.
Fine!
If his brain was going to obsess over seeing her, he'd just dip his head into the bedroom. It wasn't like she was going to be doing anything but sleeping anyway. He probably wasn't going to get any satisfaction from the endeavour, but if it would keep the thoughts quiet then… well, a couple of minutes wouldn't hurt, would it?
~0~0~0~
Danni's ability to sleep through the night was slowly improving. Whilst she was on the run every little sound would wake her up, now she found herself actually sleeping for a good few hours at a time. This body seemed to need less sleep than the previous ones. Well, it seemed that way. She liked coffee an awful lot this time around. Perhaps she was just keeping herself awake.
Her thoughts were a little jumbled as she woke up, but that cup of coffee was the first thing she thought about. Then she thought about how she was in a bed. Then she thought about the warmth coming from the body that was in the bed with her.
Her mind raced. She had gone to bed on her own, which means that someone had joined her. The Doctor wouldn't have done that because he had never really been one to sleep with her. He rarely slept at all, and the idea of him coming to bed after her was actually rather laughable.
That meant one of two things. Either the Doctor was in bed next to her and Missy was trying to trick her into believing it was him, or Missy had given up the pretence and was just in bed with her. It wouldn't have been the first time she had woken up next to the other Time Lady. She loved to watch her while she was sleeping.
She opened her eyes just enough so she could focus on what was directly in front of her. She was facing the edge of the bed and her bedside table. The décor immediately told her she was in the TARDIS, so Missy was keeping her asleep. Which meant that everything she had feared so far was true. Missy was keeping her asleep. She'd never escaped.
The need to cry washed over her and she had to squeeze her eyes closed and clench her jaw to squash it down. She'd really started to believe that she with the Doctor. She'd allowed that little bit of hope that she was safe start to creep into her consciousness and now she was feeling the consequences. It was never the TARDIS. It was never an escape. It was never the Doctor.
However, now that she knew that she was asleep, she needed to focus on waking up again. That involved getting Missy to wake her up. Leaving it alone would just open herself up to more abuse than being awake. Dreaming never ended well.
She opened her eyes slightly again, scanning the area for any sort of tool, or just something she could use. The area around her was pretty bare except for the bedside lamp. It wasn't the largest, or the heaviest, but it would give someone quite the headache. It would have to do.
She stretched, imitating waking up as to not arouse suspicion, and then threw herself into her next move. With one hand she grabbed the lamp and she rolled over, on top of the woman pretending to be her husband. The lamp wasn't plugged in so she raised it above her head, a snarl on her face as she brought it down like a club.
"Wake me up!"
~0~0~0~
The subtle changes in the way she was lying told the Doctor that Danni was starting to wake. It turned out that she was a rather still sleeper now, so even the smallest shift suggested that she wasn't quite sleeping as deeply as she had been. He smiled to himself slightly. She was a shorter sleeper now. He finally didn't have to waste hours waiting for her.
He opened his mouth to let her know he was there, but as she stretched he decided it would be rather amusing to scare her slightly. Not too much, but enough so that he could calm her down afterwards. It was a trick he used quite a lot as Eleven and had pulled a few times since. She would tell him off and he could make it better.
He had to admit, the rolling on top of him had been unexpected but wholly appreciated. The way she tried to swing the bedside lamp down into his head was less appreciated.
His hand snapped up and caught her by the wrists. "Danni!" he exclaimed in surprise. He could feel her putting all of her strength behind the swing and he actually struggled to keep her arm in the air.
"Wake me up right now," she demanded angrily. "I'm sick of your bullshit!"
"Danni, you are awake," he promised. "She's not here…"
"I'm supposed to believe you?" she retorted, grunting slightly as she pushed against him. He reached up, holding her away from him with both hands. "You're wearing my husband's face! Why the fuck would I ever believe you?"
He knew that he should have shoved her off, but the anger in her eyes said that all he would do was add to her delusion if he did. Instead he just kept her from following through on her rather sturdy swing. "It's me," he reassured as calmly as he could. "You're home. You're really here."
"Just stop it!" she exclaimed. "Just wake me up right now! I don't believe you, this isn't funny! You won! I believed it for a little while! Wake me up!"
Her voice cracked and his hearts cried out to her. She was devastated that everything she had been shown had been false. She truly wanted to believe that she was home but now it was being ripped from underneath her. If only he could make her see without a doubt that she was home. She was never going to believe anything he said even if he managed to calm her down now. She needed to see it for herself.
Of course. There she was showing him the answer again. His Danielle. Always so clever.
She seemed surprised when he let go with one of his hands, like she hadn't expected him to stop resisting. His hand shot up to her temple, pressing two fingers against her. He was pleasantly surprised to see that her defences had improved until he realised why she'd strengthened them in the first place. Still, he did exactly what she had done on the hillside on Skaro and flooded her with everything that was him.
It lasted only a moment but he felt the way she stopped struggling against him. He slowly lowered his hand, watching her anger and hatred drain away, leaving on a stunned look on her face. He grabbed the lamp out of her now limp grasp, chucking it to the side where it bounced off the bed and smashed onto the floor. She didn't seem to notice. She fell forward slightly, hands on either side of his shoulders and she looked at him like she was terrified.
"Theta?" she whispered, her voice hopeful. He didn't know how to respond. All he could do was confirm that he was, in fact, her Theta but for some reason that just felt not quite appropriate. She was finally realising that he was who he said he was. She needed to let herself believe it. He couldn't force it.
Seeing the way her eyes shined just brought a lump to his throat and his own tears to his eyes. "Yes?" he answered, as if she was asking him a question.
His voice startled her and she rolled off him, landing heavily on the bed next to him. Her back straightened and her eyes darted around the room even as her head didn't move. He sat up, now not in any immediate danger, and turned slightly on the spot so he could face her.
"Danielle?" he asked, concerned and she pressed her lips together. "Are you okay?"
It was a dumb question, but what else was he supposed to do? She shook her head in reply and didn't say a word. "Do you want to- well, talk about it?"
Against it was a dumb question, and again she shook her head but stayed silent. He could see the way she processing everything and so he shifted again, sitting next to her.
"Alright, we'll just sit here then," he said and then he fell silent as well. He wasn't too sure if he was supposed to bring her in for a hug, or try to force her to talk, but neither of those options seemed correct.
Danni, on the other hand, barely noticed his words at all. She felt frozen on the spot as she stared at the door opposite the bed. The door into her room with Missy had been opposite to the bed as well, but it had been on the other corner. It had always bugged her.
Missy had pretended to be the Doctor more times than Danni could count. Or, rather, Danni knew exactly how many times she'd been fooled and she really did just not want to count them. Each time she'd got the Doctor almost exactly correct for a little while, but Danni would slowly come to notice what was wrong. The first time she'd tried to force Danni to say that she loved him. There was a time when he swore. Sometimes it took a while but Danni always noticed what was wrong eventually.
This time he'd spoken correctly. He'd been open and honest about how out of his depth he was with her, and his kind gestures were all on point. But these were things Missy had done before and even though she'd tried every time to allow herself to believe, she never could. But Missy had never been able to mimic who he was. No one could fully mimic someone else's mind, no matter how hard they tried. What the Doctor had flooded her with – what Theta had flooded her with – was her husband. Pure and simple. It had been the Doctor.
Which meant that he was the Doctor.
Which meant she was in the TARDIS.
Which meant that she was home
Which meant that she'd escaped.
She grabbed one hand with the other, holding onto her own fingers tightly in the hopes that it would stop both of them from shaking. The relief she felt at that notion was more than overwhelming. It was, selfishly, more than when she'd realised Clara hadn't died in the Doctor's timeline, or when she realised that Eleven was going to regenerate and he wasn't going to just die. It felt like the feeling was filling up the room and some strange part of her wanted to escape it.
Pressing her lips together had become quite the habit to stop herself saying things out loud that she didn't want Missy to hear. It also helped keep her emotions at bay because it gave her something to focus on. She'd picked it up shortly after she'd regenerated. It was new. It also wasn't helping because the moment she noticed that her eyes were watering was the moment she realised that she had zero fight left within her.
She started sobbing. Heavy, loud, heaving sobs that almost hurt as she broke down. She curled up slightly into herself, unable to fight it. Every fear, every worry, every terrible thought and feeling rushed over her as her mind tried to compute just exactly what was going on. She felt the Doctor wrap her up in his arms, whisper to her, promise her things that didn't even make sense. All she could do was cry until her eyes stung and her throat hurt and she could barely breathe.
Slowly, tiredly, she started to slow down. Her tears dried up and her sobbing turned into tiny little gasps for breath. She started to stop shaking but she didn't move from his arms. She could feel him pressing soft, reassuring kisses onto her hair and they were his lips. She was in his arms. She was on their bed, in their home. It really had happened.
She looked up at him and saw that he was crying too. Like he was also realising the same thing. Had he thought she was a dream as well?
"I escaped," she whispered hoarsely and he nodded. "I fucking did it?"
He reached out, moving the hair that was stuck in her tear tracks. "You've gained such a potty mouth," he chided lightly. "She didn't stand a chance against you."
She laughed and he joined her. She was just so happy that it was finally over. That this was it. She was home. It was a big feeling that hit her from all sides and refused to let go. It wrapped around her, crushing her ribs and refusing to let her see anything else. Soon her laughs turned painful, and then into big gulps that she couldn't stop because it felt like she couldn't breathe. The happy, ecstatic, brilliant feeling was so large it was going to kill her.
"It's okay, you're okay," the Doctor murmured. "Just breathe, Danni. Just breathe. In and out." He made sure to exaggerate his breathing, keeping slow and steady so she could follow. Her wide eyes met his and she tried to follow. Her panic attack was completely understandable, even he was feeling massively overwhelmed. He hadn't suffered from the fear of her being a dream, but seeing her finally accept that she wasn't asleep seemed to release a lot of his own deep-seated fears that she was going to be torn from him again.
"You're okay, you're okay," he promised her again. He resisted the want to pull her closer again.
When she didn't feel like she was going to die, Danni felt rather foolish for what was, most likely, a rather large overreaction. She wiped her eyes, sniffed then wished that she had a tissue so she could clean herself up properly.
"I just…" she started, wondering how to word her thoughts. She didn't want to ramble anymore. "I never thought I would win."
He smiled, turning her to face him. "I never doubted you for one second," he replied. "She didn't stand a chance." He moved his hand backwards, cupping the back of her neck to pull her close. He rested his forehead on hers. "I'm sorry, my sweet Danielle," he said as sincerely as he could. "I promised she'd never get close to you and I was too angry to keep it."
There were so many things she wanted to tell him. She wanted to reassure him, to say that she'd forgiven him, but somehow those words didn't feel quite right. "I was there," she explained quietly. "She made me watch as you and Clara walked off and she drugged me. I don't remember it happening but I saw it all."
"I'm so sorry," was all he could say. He hadn't seen it. He'd not even noticed until it was much too late and that was all on him.
"I tried so hard to get you to hear me," she continued. "No matter how hard I shouted you never did."
"I went back," he promised her. "I tried to find you. I searched high and low. There was no trace of you anywhere.
"I was in a Cyberman." He looked stunned. "She didn't keep me in there long. It felt long, but I don't think it was."
She'd been there the entire time. He should have known. Missy pretended like she didn't want to show off but, like all of the regenerations before her, she just couldn't help herself. She had taken Danni from underneath his nose and then had shown her off by putting her into the shell of the creatures that she had…
"You said that it wasn't the first time Missy had put someone in a robot," he remembered. "That was you."
Danni nodded. "I had a hunch from the moment she started saying Clara was dead. If she had been then it would have been the first thing Missy would have told you. She was overcompensating because Clara was in the Dalek."
The Doctor ran his hand through his hair. "I always thought that, even if she got her hands on you, she'd look after you," he said. "Well, maybe not look after, but not be so… cruel about it. When he fought back Rassilon for you I thought…" He sighed heavily. Saying it out loud made it seem so ridiculous. "I don't know what I thought."
Danni pressed her lips together again. She still had so much to tell him. He didn't even know about… well, the less he knew about the one he never got to meet the better, she guessed. It wasn't the same as having a secret regeneration before he'd even met her.
And then there was all of the times that Missy had flaunted her around his time line. She wasn't sure if he knew the extent of her presence in his lives. Part of her knew that he'd want to know, but part of her just didn't want him to know. She was still so angry and so she kept it all to herself.
"Something must have happened when she regenerated," she said softly. "I don't think he would have… not before Gallifrey, anyway."
The Doctor watched her look down at her hands, almost ashamed of the statement she'd given. He didn't agree. He had known the Master such a long time that Missy didn't seem a step away from the norm, but he didn't want to upset her further.
He reached out, brushing the hair away from her face so he could see it better. He had to let the old body go because she was gone. He'd failed her, but he'd be damned if he failed her again. A new body meant a new chance. He wasn't going to lose her again over a regeneration.
"You're home," he told her. "And you're safe. That's all that matters now. You've been hurt, and you are hurting, but don't you worry about anything. I'm going to help you however you need me to, just like you helped me."
Her lips pulled into a small smirk. "Trust you, you're the Doctor?" she asked and he shot her a look at her cheek.
"Exactly," he replied. "Whatever you want, or need, my Pet and we'll do it." He leant back against the headrest, feet up on the bed. She seemed calmer and he decided that it was time for what he'd come in for. "Come here."
She smiled, like she'd not expected him to be kind to her. Had she forgotten, or had Missy just been that cruel to her that she couldn't imagine kindness anymore? Still, she shuffled back and leant against his side, allowing herself to relax against him. He felt so solid. She could hear his hearts beating. How was he staying so calm? She felt like a gust of wind would cause her to collapse. She really didn't like feeling this vulnerable. She did her best to hide it from the universe, but she guessed she'd never been good at hiding it from him.
She shifted slightly, but spent a while enjoying being held by someone who wanted nothing but to hold her. She wasn't exactly used to being allowed to make decisions without there being a large and rather horrid consequences. Even though he wasn't exactly encouraging her to choose something to do right now, her mind flew to only one thing.
She'd spent a lot of time thinking. What else did she have to do while being trapped in a bedroom than read and think? It wasn't like she'd been allowed access to technology or things like the internet. She'd, later on, been allowed to watch movies, but she'd become rather adept at spending time not doing much. Her mind was a brilliant thing, it would seem. She had thought about life. She'd thought about the universe. She'd thought about what Theta had been doing, or about what they would have been doing had they been together. She thought about friends, about Clara and the life she could have been leading. She thought about family. She thought about her mum and dad and trying to unlock memories so she could remember their faces. She thought about Jack and River, and what they were doing across the many stages of their lives.
She created worlds inside her head, which had gotten her incredibly interested in learning more about the multiverse theory for a time. Or, rather, the multiverse in its actuality. She'd lived the multiverse. She was a pro at the multiverse.
"Actually, I do have- I do have something I wouldn't mind doing," she admitted softly. "Not that I don't just want to- you know – lie here all day with you because I really feel that might be good for my wellbeing, but I just thought…" She shook her head. "You know what? I think I'd just- I think staying would be a good idea."
"Well, why don't we compare the two?" the Doctor suggested. "And then we'll do the thing you want anyway."
She rolled her eyes. "I thought maybe- maybe we could go see Jack?" she suggested quietly. He felt many things. He was ecstatic that she was going against her previous ways of wanting to haul up in the TARDIS when she was scared. However, was he fond of the idea that her first request was to go to that philandering American Captain who was entirely too good looking no matter how much he aged? No, not particularly.
"If that is what you wish, my Pet," he replied smoothly.
She frowned, pushing off him and looking down at him. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Of course," he replied, confused.
"Because you don't have to go see Jack if you don't want to," she told him. "I won't make you. I wouldn't – I won't make anyone do anything they don't want to."
"You're not making me do anything," he pointed out. She just looked at him like she was waiting for the actual answer. He sighed. "You could always see right through me."
"Yes, I could, and I can," she agreed. It felt wonderful to say that and know that she was actually talking to the real Doctor, and that she could really see right through him. "We don't have to."
"We do," he told her. "It's not going that I…" He probably should go back. Jack, River, Amy… None of them knew that Danni was safe. He needed to get onto that eventually, Jack was a good place to start. "He's always flirting with you!"
Danni felt muscles relax that she didn't even know she'd tensed. Apparently she was more worried about making him made that she'd realised. "He's my dad," she reminded him. "He flirts with everyone."
"Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to like it," the Doctor retorted. "You did kiss him once, remember?"
"And he was still my dad then," Danni countered. "And he's my dad now. You have nothing to worry about."
"I know that."
He was grumbling and she almost rolled her eyes before she realised what he was suggesting. "Hang on, are you saying that you expect me to run off with my father?" she exclaimed. "That's gross!"
He looked at her, alarmed he'd offended her. "That's not what I'm saying!" he quickly replied. "I just don't like that he flirts with you."
"Oh, you're worried he's going to run off with his daughter," she corrected before pulling a face. "That's just as gross! He's a slut, but that doesn't mean… How dare you, he's my father!"
The Doctor shook his head, wondering how he'd gotten himself into such a deep hole so quickly. "That's not what I'm saying! I'm not- Danielle will you stop laughing?"
~0~0~0~
Rick Pelham had thought that his day was going to go so well. He had started the day by getting dressed in his most expensive suit. He'd made sure that his stylist had done his hair just right, and he'd had a cup of his favourite coffee. Sure, he had a press conference scheduled but he was completely on top of it. The journalists had been flown out to his ship, where they were stuck until a particularly nasty storm passed. That way he could fill them to the brim with his words and his charm and they could sell him and his product to the world.
But then there had been one man. One man who, for all intents and purposes, looked like the rest of the suited journalists who were lapping up his pre-prepared answers and selling pitches. He was good looking, Rick could admit that, but that was never a threat. He was Rick Pelham, after all. His own good looks were just a bonus.
But this man just would not accept the answers he was supposed to. Every question had a follow up. Each answer was met with another question as he tried to get more information out of Rick than he was willing to give.
"Forgive me, Mister…?"
"Harkness," the man replied with a bit of smirk. "Captain Jack Harkness, actually."
"Captain Harkness." Pelham forced himself to smile. "And which paper are you from, again?"
"Oh, the Weston Mail," he said.
"Well, you've been asking rather a lot of questions. Perhaps if someone else could ask something…"
"Well, I'm sure they're all thinking the same as I am," Jack replied confidently. "How, out of all the hundreds and hundreds of miles of ice and snow in Antarctica, how did you manage to find the Fire Ice? After all, striking gold on the first try is pretty lucky, isn't it?"
"It wasn't exactly luck, Mister Harkness," he said. "We did a lot of research. Now that I am ready to deliver our first shipload of fuel to the world, it seems a good time to…"
Jack raised his pen, catching his attention and interrupting his pitch. "Yes, that is also something we're all interested in," he explained. "How did you extract and refine it so quickly? You've managed it in just a few weeks. And that's under all of that snow and ice. It just seems a bit impossible, doesn't it?"
"Well, Mister Harkness, it may seem that way. However, I can assure you that my company and myself know what we are doing," Pelham said through gritted teeth. "Perhaps if you let me continue I can prove that to you."
Jack made a motion with his pen, obviously backing down and somehow that infuriated Pelham even more. Still, he kept his cool up until the moment the alarms on the ship they were currently sat on began sounding off.
Pelham turned to his assistant, Matt. "What the devil is going on?"
Matt held his finger to his ear, trying to ignore the noise around him. "It's the refinery, sir. There's been some sort of accident." He looked shocked. "Some kind of animal attack."
Jack, who had appeared from nowhere with a grim look on his face, leant in closer so he could be heard over the alarms. "Perhaps we should go see what's wrong," he suggested. "I've medical training, I could be of help."
Pelham didn't like the sound of a journalist being able to nosy around his refinery, but he needed to be seen as being as open and honest as possible. With a nod, he turned to his assistant. "Get a helicopter ready. We need to fly out before the storm hits."
~0~0~0~
Happy New Year! I do hope that you are all well :)
The end of this chapter, and the story that follows, is from the Doctor Who Quick Reads 'The Silurian Gift' by Mike Tucker. I've changed it slightly because it's an Eleven solo story and, well, it's now not Eleven and Jack's adventure, but as doing Silhouette seemed to go well in Undone I thought I'd give it a shot here XD
Not much to update you on, to be honest, otherwise. Don't forget to review! I do love it so :D
Reviews!
serenitysaiyan - I'm glad someone noticed that line. I was very proud of that line :P x
Quinnmarie - I totally agree. I get the feeling that this Danni really can survive on her own. It's more of a case that it's better with two, rather than relying on the Doctor. Thanks sweetie! Hope you had a good holiday season :)
bored411 - Thanks sweetie! Glad you liked it :)
Authora97 - Yep, that was my intention. Season 10, my friend, Season 10. It's going to be spectacular :P
AGBreads - Thanks sweetie!