Author's note
Welcome back to my parody series of the Loud House, and this time it's a parody of a season 5 episode of the amazing world of gumball 'The matchmaker' and this parody will be about Clyde and Lynn Jr. like the actual episode. Since some fans ship Clyde and Lynn Jr. so here it is… Before that I want to say I am on a different country for my vacation and I am using my mom's laptop.
At Clyde house Clyde was sitting on a chair looking at someone on a photo of his computer. No it's not Lori but it was someone else he sighs plays a sad music as the boombox was spilling tears and it was flooding his room.
(Clyde)
"Your smile answers my silent scream, your photo on the screen."
"My eyes well up, I vent my spleen, your photo on the screen"
The bedroom begins to flood even more, eventually causing Clyde to submerged in the water
(Clyde)
"Your chair and throne, you're like a queen."
"My heart is drenched in gasoline."
"You look at me, yet I'm unseen, your photo on the screen."
"Without you, I can't breathe!"
"Without you, I can't brea-"
The song ends when Lincoln was curious about his song
"What's going on Clyde?" Lincoln asked as Clyde jerks back to reality
"Nothing…" He answered
"Wait a minute don't tell me it's about Lori again…" Lincoln said
"No it's not her it's someone else." Clyde answered as he'd blush
"Then whose photo you sing about?"
"No one's! If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look wistfully at the sunset." Clyde said
"But it's only 2 P.M." Lincoln said as Clyde wear some new glasses and walk away
"Then I'll be going for a while." Clyde said
Lincoln was suspicious as he take a look at Clyde's computer and sees Girl Jordan on the center of the picture
"Girl Jordan? Aw he wuvs her but he doesn't know how to tell her! "This guy needs help, and there's only one person who can help him badly enough!" Lincoln exclaimed
Next day at the mall Lincoln is discussing plans with someone he didn't realized who he was talking to…
"Okay. So the plan is: we make her fall in love with you, and you guys date, become highschool sweethearts and go to separate colleges and probably experiment more, break-up after a massive argument because one of you cheated, then you'll have to marry someone else and have kids, because you'll want to feel normal, but one day you'll go to an online search to see if either of you got fat or bald. The next thing you know you'll be paying a ton of money on divorce and alimony, but don't worry, because by the time you realized your mistake, you'll be in your winter years all that matters is to have someone to fight with." Then Lincoln realized he was talking to his 3rd older sister Lynn Loud Jr. the entire time
"What are you talking about bro?" Lynn Jr. asked
"Sorry. I normally talk through my plans with Clyde. But he can't know about this one." Lincoln said
"That wasn't a plan. That was just a series of bleak things that'll probably happen." Lynn Jr. said
"Yeah. But still. Can you help me make her fall in love with Clyde?" He ask her making Lynn to blush
"Cool, who is this 'her' on this conversation, aside of Lori?" Lynn asked as she tries hard to hide her blushed face
"Girl Jordan! Clyde's into girl Jordan." Lincoln told her making her a bit upset
"Oh I see…" Lynn said sadly
"I know! Weird, right? I thought he was still into Lori, or you but nope it's definitely Girl Jordan! There's a photographic evidence if you want to see it." Lincoln pulls out his IphoneX with Girl Jordan's photo and begins to rudely shove it in Lynn's face, much to her annoyance and disappointment. "Look! Look! Look! See? It's her! It's girl Jordan! Can you see it? Look! Look! Look! You're not looking!"
Clyde was sitting at a bench with a paper and a pen and wrote a poem and unknown to him Lincoln and Lynn Jr. spy behind him
"The only difference between love and pain is spelling. And the difference between me and you is…is"
"…The way I smell." Lincoln whispered but Clyde doesn't aware that he and his sister are behind him
Lynn Jr. is not amused
"Can kids buy potions?" Lincoln asked
"What do you mean?" She asked
"You know, some kind of love potion tricking you into thinking everyone is beautiful." Lincoln answered
"That's sounds more like a mistake potion and only Lisa can make one of that but nope."
"Well can we ask her? We need to help him out before he grows a fringe." Lincoln said
"No we don't have to, and what's wrong with emo hair?"
Then they noticed Clyde who's now has a full head of black hair with streaks of magenta dye
"I-I suppose not for everyone." Lynn Jr. said
"I got an idea! They say the feeling of falling in love is similar to experiencing a life or death situation!"
"So?"
"So, let's give girl Jordan a little adrenaline rush!" Then he started running out of sight. "C'mon I need your help!"
"Oh I'll help you bro, but I'll help you fail!" Lynn Jr. said
At the hallway of the mall girl Jordan walking suddenly, a deformed Lincoln covered with green liquid crawls across girl Jordan. Girl Jordan backs away, horrified.
"Quick, save yourself! There's been a poisonous chemical! Get to the quarantine room now!" Lincoln said with a fake shout
Lynn Jr. was in a darkened room pouring a green soda on the floor to imitate the chemicals. She has a mischievous grin
"MY SKIN! IT BUUURRRRRNS!"
"Oops"
"Lynn JR. 'accidentally' throws out the soda bottle, revealing Lincoln's plan. Lincoln and girl Jordan stare at the empty bottle. Girl Jordan then steps forward to take a closer look.
"Hmm… kinda looks like soda." She said as Lincoln swipes the bottle away
"NO! It's a lethal cocktail of chemicals that will completely destroy your metabolism, deforming your body until you butt crack reaches your shoulder blades!"
"Yeah that's soda, oh Lincoln, you're such a hypochondriac!" Girl Jordan said as she walks away
"NO! The quarantine room is right there!" Then he shakes of his fake injuries and sigh. "We should get Clyde out of the quarantine room before the janitor gets back." Lincoln said
Clyde was inside the quarantine room which was the storage room. A rose in his mouth and taped to a wall. Which has a painting of a heart., then the janitor gets inside
"Kids these days." The janitor said
At a fastfood restaurant Lincoln sees Clyde hastily eating a burger and drinking some water.
"What are you doing?" Lincoln asked
"I am eating as much as I can." Clyde said
"Okay, anyway do you know what girls like?" Lincoln asked
"Being treated like there're all the same and having generalizations about them?" He asked
"What? No. they hated that but they all love a guy who's not scared of being vulnerable. Share you secrets. She'll love you for your imperfection." Lincoln said
"I don't think she's gonna fall in love with a guy who pees on the bed when he feels cold." Clyde said
"Okay, it wasn't my idea it was hers." Lincoln said
Clyde sees girl Jordan and Lynn Jr. are laughing from the other side. Clyde blushes but stands and determined
"OKAY! SHE WANTS ME TO EXPOSE MYSELF?! THEN I'LL EXPOSE MYSELF!" Clyde shouted
"What?"
"Verbally"
Then Clyde approached the two girls and said…"
"I HAVE A CLOACA BUT I DON'T WHAT IT IS AND I'M TO SCARED TO LOOK IT UP! ONCE I HAD A BIT OF A MEAT STUCK IN MY TEETH FOR A WEEK. I SWALLOWED IT INSTEAD OF SPITTING IT OUT AND IT TASTE LIKE TOOTHPASE! AND WHEN I FEEL AWKWARD I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO TALK OKAY, BYE!"
Clyde walks away like he doesn't how to walk
"What was that about?" She asked and Lynn Jr. just looked at him with a sad expression
The two are at the second floor of the mobile discussing about plan C
"Okay plan C! We'll secretly marry them online, and girl Jordan's love will grow over time." Lincoln said
"Great plan…" Lynn Jr. said
"Why thank you Lynn."
"…If C stands for "SERIUOSLY STUPID!" She said angrily
"That's not how you spell 'serious' that doesn't even work. And also we're not plan S so…that starts with an S." Lincoln said sarcastically
"Why are you dragging me into this? You know very well that I like Clyde. It's all over my face." Lynn said feeling upset
"Your face is literally two dots and a line. It's like Morse code! What does that expression even mean? Are you intrigued? "Skeptical? Hungry?"
"I am disappointed." Lynn Jr. said
Lincoln softens up and realized
"Oh…l-look I am sorry. He's just not into you, I guess." Lincoln said
"I meant I'm disappointed in myself bro. If you like someone you're supposed to help them find happiness not ruining their chances."
"Oh I am sorry to hear that." Lincoln said
"And also let's go back to your original idea bro, we should ask Lisa about a love potion." Lynn Jr. said
Back at the Loud house at Lisa's room they told everything to Lisa as she understands of what's going on
"So let me get this straight Lynn, you are in love with Clyde but Clyde has love emotion with someone else instead of Lori and you want me to make a love potion so you can use it for Clyde to move on with his new love life, am I correct?" Lisa asked
"Yes and can we please get this over it?" Lynn Jr. asked getting impatient
"Very well, let's begin."
The trio have made a bucket of volatile green chemical but still not done
"Alright the last 3 ingredients are the ones from those you fall in love Lynn that means I need one of Clyde's clothing." Lisa said
"I got his glasses." Lincoln said as Lisa places Clyde's glasses into the green chemical
"And second I need another item which comes from the one Clyde falls in love with."
"He likes Girl Jordan and I got the picture of her." Lincoln said
Lincoln gave her the picture of Girl Jordan as Lisa throws her picture into the green chemical
"And the last ingredient is the tear of someone who loved him, and Lynn that means if you love Clyde in a burning passion try to tear up a bit and drop your teardrop into this experiment." Lisa constructed her
"Look sis I may love Clyde but I am not going to cry anyway." Lynn Jr. protested
"I was just expecting if you say that, try to think of something depressed, and it should be deep enough for you cry enough." Lisa said
"Okay I'll try…" Then Lynn think hard enough to make herself cry and after few minutes it's working she started to sob. "Clyde…(Sob) he's my tough lover and my supposed future boyfriend and teammate but…(Sob) he likes another girl than me! (Sob) I never (Sniff) I-I ne-never thought about it I-I LOVE HIM! (STARTS CRYING) I LOVE HIM IN A BURNING PASSION!" (CRIES HARDER)
Lynn was crying and one of her tears drop into the chemical as the chemical turns into a bright pink chemical. And Lisa stir the potion with a giant wooden spoon as Lincoln gave his sporty sister a hug to calm her down
"It's okay Lynn at least you're doing all of this for Clyde." Lincoln said as Lynn was starting to calm down
Few moments later at the park Clyde and Girl Jordan are sitting on the bench opposite from each other and the two loud siblings are a looking at them with Lynn holding the bottle of love potion
"It's fine bro. This is all for Clyde." Lynn said sadly
Lincoln grabs a headless arrow, sticks in the vial of love potion, and readies a bow he arbitrarily off-screen.
"Wha-? Wait! What are you doing?! Lynn asked in surprise
"Well, I thought it would be more romantic than putting their drinks when there're not looking." Lincoln said
"Just get it over it."
Lincoln proceeds and shoots at Clyde
"I LOVE YOU GIRL JORDAN!"
Lincoln dips another headless arrow into the vial of love potion, loads it and shoots Girl Jordan
"I LOVE YOU TOO CLYDE!"
The two smuggle and kiss and both loud siblings felt yucky and cover each other's eyes with their hands
"Oh man I can still hear it…" Lincoln said
Meanwhile at Clyde's house Clyde is spraying cologne in the entire bedroom, and hums happily and his friend Lincoln shows up
"What the-?!" He breaks into a fit of coughs. "Clyde, what did you do?!" Then he runs into the window and opens it, and sees a hole in the sky. "I'm pretty sure you punched a hole in the ozone layer, man." Lincoln said
"I just want to smell my best for the date!" Clyde exclaimed
"Hmm."
"What?"
"Well, I think I owed a little "Thank you-"Lincoln starts coughing. " A little "Thank you" for-"Lincoln coughs again. "Clyde, there is still too much deodorant." Lincoln stops coughing. "I think I'm owed a little "Thank you" for fixing your love life." Lincoln said
"What, are you talking about?" Clyde asked
"Clyde, I saw it."
"Saw what?"
Lincoln turns on the computer, showing Clyde's photo
"Your photo of Girl Jordan. Let's just say, Lynn and I lent a "Helping hand" and let's just say this "Helping hand" involved the dark arts and dangerous weapon. Because it did." Lincoln answered
"Ooh..that's not a photo of girl Jordan it's your sister Lynn Jr. and since you visit yesterday I quickly turned off my computer." Clyde said
And then Lincoln becomes horrified
"Lori nor Lynn are used to be the girl of my dreams but not anymore, and anyway I have to go I can't be late for the date." Clyde said as he left
And then Lynn appears
"Hey bro is Clyde doing well?" Lynn asked
"Lynn please give me a gentle punch in the face." Lincoln said
Lynn lightly gives a soft punch on Lincoln's face
"Listen I got it all mixed up…Clyde never love Girl Jordan he love you!"
Hearing this makes Lynn furious and Lincoln backs away a bit
"BUT YOU PUNCH ME ALREADY SO YOU'VE HAD YOU REVENGE!" Lincoln shouted in fear as his sister calms down a bit
"So what now?"
"Instead of playing matchmaker, we have to play matchbreaker!"
At the park Girl Jordan was feeding the birds while Lynn steals her phone and quickly texts Clyde making him think it was Girl Jordan texting him, meanwhile Clyde was at the mall and he receives a strange message
"Girl Jordan, has invite you to a wedding." Then the love potion took over Clyde as he makes a love face. Attending."
The next thing Lincoln grabs Rusty and holds him tightly
"Hey Lincoln what are you doing?" Rusty asked
"You're getting yourself a girlfriend Rusty." Lincoln said
Lincoln saw Clyde and Girl Jordan walking he quickly drags Rusty and push him into Girl Jordan causing his lips hit hers as Lynn Jr. came and shows Clyde her bat
"What's that for?" Clyde asked
"A crime of passion." Lynn answered
But the potion took over Clyde again. "Ah she is too good not to be shared."
The next thing at night Lincoln and Lynn place some cookies in Clyde's desk as Clyde stood up in his sleep and eats all of the cookies in his sleep. And the next morning the two met and Clyde was over weight
"You're not quite the same as we met."
Mm-hmm?"
Then the love potion took over Girl Jordan as well
"That means there's more of you to love!"
At the Loud House Lincoln Leads Girl Jordan to Leni
"Girl Jordan, meet your future sister-in-law!"
Leni was texting on her phone and sees her a bit reflection on her phone's screen
"Oh my gosh I can see myself from another dimension!" Leni said stupidly
"I supposed my future sister-in-law may be a dumb a—"Then the love potion took over Girl Jordan again before she finish her sentence. "Can I call her sister?"
At the park the two are sitting at the bench, kissing hard and both loud siblings watch as Lynn sighs in defeat
"I'm sorry…" Lincoln apologized
Lynn Jr. watched Clyde and Girl Jordan as she sniff and cried. The two separate their lips and Clyde noticed Lynn Jr. breaking into tears and one of her tears drop thus break the spell out of Clyde and he was back to normal and rush to her. When he approached in front of it her surprised her.
"True love broke the spell." Lincoln said. C'mon say something."
Lynn stop crying and went to Clyde who also blush as well
"Uh, hey…so, would you like to go somewhere sometime and do…something? Or-or we could go somewhere else sometime and do some…other thing."
"Hmm…they both sound great."
Girl Jordan got up still love-struck
"Hold on a second." Lincoln said as he took the bow from earlier, he shoots a love potion spiked arrow at Girl Jordan's spray can. And then she immediately falls in love with it.
"Please continue." Then the white hair boy step aside
Clyde and Lynn Jr. get close to each other and crash into a kiss and Lincoln smiles and nodded just how Clyde nodded when he witness him kissing Ronnie from that day
The end and I want to apologized for some skips on these part of the story but I hope you enjoy and please don't forget to review for more!