"Bella..Earth to Bella", Alice said , clapping her hands in front of my face. Oh right, I was in my college cafeteria with my two besties Ang and Ali who were looking suspiciously at me. I was just exhausted, you know? All the studies and assignments are really weighing on me. Well , that's what I told my friends. Do you really expect me to say that I was lost in thought about Edward. Hmm..wonder why I felt a knot in my stomach only by thinking that boy's name? We had met many times after our first very embarrassing encounter. Embarrassing on my part, "very lucky" on his part coz he confessed that holding a hot girl close to him was the luckiest thing that had happened to him .Saying that spending my time with him was good was an understatement. That guy was so interesting that I felt the need to relieve all my conversations with him over and over. I remember that night in detail.
We were both sitting cross legged on the floor of his room as his roommate was breaking curfew fucking some hottie. He was playing me the guitar while I watched him. His eyes were closed and there was a half-smile on his angelic face .The expression on his face was like he was intoxicated , he'd lost himself in the music. His hands moved so gracefully over the strings that I felt myself thinking very inappropriate things about him. Oh, again I wondered who the god of music was .Artemis? Apollo? In this moment, I strongly felt that god had possessed Edward .The music was heart rending and I felt tears in my eyes. Suddenly I heard Edward's concerned voice "What's wrong Bella?" His eyebrows were scrunched in a very cute way .My heart missed a beat. "You..I said poking a finger in his chest.. made a girl cry by playing such godly music. I'm offended." "Bella, I promise that you'll never have to cry over me .And you're over rating it, really. "He said sincerely. OMG! He likes you Bella, put on your best smile. Oh yeah, clearly I had a lot of reassuring conversations with myself. I looked at him surprised and whispered "I know you will never make anyone cry Edward. You're simply too good to do that." I really meant it. During our whole exchange we were unconsciously leaning towards each other. A knock on the door made us come crashing back to reality.
"Hey Eddie ..I'm sorry I'm late. Let's get go…" a female voice interrupted. I looked up and my heart came crashing 30 floors below. Standing with a hand on the door knob was the hottest girl imaginable .She had straight blond hair that fell to her chest, big boobs, blue eyes and long long legs. Her clothes indicated that she was rich as hell. "Hi Tanya", Edward said beaming up at her. I think that was the moment I died a little. Honey she could be a friend, cousin, family..of course, my mind was too sanguine ,trying to keep my rationality." "Tanya this is Bella ",he said smiling crookedly. "Bella, this is my girlfriend Tanya." Keeping a genuine expression on my face while hearing that was the worst predicament I had found myself in. "Hey there", I said hoping that nobody had noticed my broken voice. But I could see that Tanya saw a bit through me. Her head shook infinitesimally and her expression was sorry. So sorry like she knew Edward was gonna handle me like a use-and-throw plastic cup.
Bitchbitchbitchbitch
That hurt more than a hammer to your head. I quickly got up before I could break down, mumbling a quick excuse. "Wait Bella I need to speak to you" For a second I glanced behind and saw that Edward's face was a pained, heart breaking while his hand was fisted. But then masochist in me had to see Tanya and I ran way. I ran like my life depended on it coz I most certainly did not want to have a coronary.
For two whole days I stayed in my room ,not even bothering to go to my classes. Angela covered up for me, saying that I was down with the flu without bugging me with her questions. That girl was a life-saver and I felt eternally grateful to her. Maybe I would buy her a new pair of stilettos, her love for them was as strong as Ellen n Portia's. It was absolutely impossible for me to comprehend why a 5'8 girl would like to wear heels and look taller than her short boyfriend. I moped around in a zombie-like state. Finally, something inside me snapped and I came to the most painful decision I had ever taken.
You like Edward, no you're crazy about him .He intimidates you with his gorgeous looks and his shining personality. You've fallen for a guy who has a bitchy girlfriend with Miss USA looks .Don't deny it, staying away for him is gonna kill you faster than putting a bullet in your head. So why torture yourself hon? Go and be 'just friends' with Edward. Come on, I think deep down you know that he was too handsome to be single. So nothing has changed unless you let it. Be a smart ass about this and show fucking T-bag that you're in for a game. After all Bells, life does not stop if Edward is not yours. You know that very well.
Even though I was keeping my spirits up , I cried a lot. This man was like a predator and had my heart captive.
So here I was now, emerging from my depression with a optimistic personality.I was suddenly reminded that Reene had told me Forks was a cloudy , rainy town and I wouldn't be able to live without the sun.
Ha mom! Guess what? I had survived in the wet and the cold even when the clouds made the sun sometimes invisible. The fact that the sun was out there, hidden by the thunderclouds had me going.