A welcome feast was to be held that night. Shizue came to collect them and act as their guide. Much to Zuko, Azula and Katara's relief, she also brought with her a stash of warmer clothes for them all to change into since the shift from summer to winter had not been easy on any of them. The Ito Islands' climate was relatively temperate, but it was still cold in the caves. Only Aang turned his nose up at the clothes.
"I don't need those," he said frankly. "I don't even like wearing all these layers." He tugged at his grey undershirt, which had long sleeves.
"Well, right now you are supposed to be a firebender named Kuzon, not an airbender who doesn't feel the cold." Shizue thrust his bundle into his chest. "Get dressed."
"But it's got fur on it."
"So what?" Azula said, already doing up the ties to her fur-lined tunic.
"I'm an Air Nomad. We just … we don't wear things like this."
Shizue folded her arms across her chest. "If you don't wear it, it'll look suspicious."
"But—"
"No buts."
Aang looked to Zuko with pleading eyes.
"You can't force him, Shizue," Zuko said in what he hoped sounded like a confident voice. Even he had trouble standing up to her sometimes.
"People will think it odd if he doesn't wear something thicker," she pointed out. "Do you really want to draw more attention to yourselves?"
Katara placed her hand on Aang's shoulder. "We'll just have to take that risk. It's not fair to force him to do things that go against his culture."
Aang smiled up at her.
"So sentimental," Azula said with a roll of her eyes. "It's just a bit of fur."
"The monks taught us that—"
"Yeah, I really don't care." She cast a glance at her brother. "I expected Miss Bleeding Heart to behave this way, but you should know better than to encourage him. You know what happens when you let compassion outweigh logic."
Zuko's fingers curled into his palms. "Just leave it, Azula."
"You know I'm right."
"And if I did everything your way, you wouldn't even be here. You would have died in that throne room!"
They stared at each other for a tense moment. Then her lips curved into a sharp smile and she held her hands palm up. "Fine. We'll do it your way. Just don't blame me if things go wrong." She stalked out of the room without another word.
"She is so aggravating," Katara grumbled.
Zuko sighed. "But it's true that people will think it odd." He turned to Aang. "We won't force you to wear the fur, but you're still going to have to wear some layers and act like you're cold, okay?"
Aang nodded. "It's habit to bend the air around me, but I can stop doing it." He must have done so then as he immediately started shivering and huddled into himself. "Ohh, that's cold. How do you guys deal with this all the time?"
A laugh escaped Katara and she pulled him into a hug, warming him with her own body. "We can't have you freezing. Let's find you some Air Nomad friendly layers."
Shizue just pinched the bridge of her nose. "All of you always have to make things more complicated, don't you?"
oOo
The feast was held in a large cavern that opened up to the stars. Low tables of food had been set out and people sat around them on cushions. Zuko and the others had been seated at a table of honour near the front, though warriors always lingered close. It was easy to spot the ones on duty thanks to the creepy masks they wore.
"I still can't see M—Ursa," Zuko said, correcting himself at the last second. He leaned past Aang to look at Shizue. "Isn't she coming?"
A frown creased her brow and she glanced at the high table where the sages sat, though An Dung, the head sage, was missing. "She said she'd meet us here."
"Hey, there's Atsuo and Yuzo," Aang said, and waved energetically at the two boys as they headed for a table a couple of rows down from them.
Yuzo gave a half-hearted wave back, but Atsuo kept his gaze fixed down, shoulders slumped. He looked like he wanted to sink into the stone.
"I'm guessing they didn't get let off that easily," Katara said with a frown. She was seated on Zuko's right, close enough that their arms often brushed.
"Actually, the sages chose to let them off with community service work," Shizue said, "but Chiyo is not so forgiving."
Aang scratched his cheek. "That's Atsuo's mum, right?"
A nod.
"I hope he'll be okay," Katara murmured.
Zuko frowned. Azula also said nothing and continued to sip her drink from where she sat on Katara's other side. He wondered if she, like him, was thinking of their father. Ozai had never been forgiving either.
The feast continued. Several performances were put on for their entertainment. Aang was delighted by a group who put on a fire dance, which he claimed was pretty similar to a dance that had used to be performed during the Sun Festival back in the Fire Nation a hundred years ago. One of the tribesmen farther down their table must have heard the comment, because he stared as if Aang had grown an extra head. Zuko elbowed Aang in the side.
"Or so I heard at school." Aang laughed nervously and rubbed the base of his neck. "I went to school, you know."
Azula sighed and placed her cup down hard enough to draw attention. "Really, Kuzon? With the way you talk sometimes, people wouldn't think you've studied anything except how to be a noisy brat."
"Hey!"
She smirked.
The tribesman smiled at their antics, seeming to accept the explanation, and went back to talking to his neighbour.
Zuko met his sister's gaze, almost tempted to mouth a thank you at her. She merely gave him a cold, unimpressed look and resumed eating. Well, he supposed that was to be expected. She was still in a mood with them for ignoring her earlier advice.
Two girls who looked not much older than him began to sing a song, accompanied by a woman playing the guzheng. Zuko rested his chin on his palm as he listened. The melody was haunting and flowing, nothing like the rigid, boring things he'd been forced to play in school, which had always been about the greatness of Fire Lord Sozin and the Fire Nation. Instead, the song reminded him of the ones his mum had used to sing when he was a child. A breath escaped him. No, it was one of her songs. She'd even taught him and Azula how to play it.
Azula stiffened and cast a quick frown at the trio. Perhaps she had recognised the song as well.
Ursa entered the cavern with the stooped sage, An Dung. She parted from him at the front, joining Zuko and the others at their table in the space next to Azula. An Dung went to sit at the head table with his fellow sages. The bruise-like shadows under his mother's eyes seemed darker and there was a strained look about her, but she still smiled when she caught his gaze.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Everything's fine, Lee. Please enjoy the feast."
His hand balled into a fist on his lap. It was so frustrating having to pretend not to be her son. There were so many questions he wanted to ask her, like where she fit within the tribe and how she'd even ended up married to his father and living in the Fire Nation with a Silencer for a handmaid. It was obvious that the Ito Islands were her real home. Everyone knew her here. They called her Lady Ursa and treated her like she was someone important, even though her banishment had stripped her of any royal privileges and title.
"Ah, I've always liked this song," Ursa said, looking towards the trio of performers.
"I don't think much of it," Azula said coolly.
"That's a shame. I seem to recall you said you were a rather accomplished guzheng player. I was hoping we could play together sometime." His mother's gaze shifted to him. "You as well, Lee. I know you play a few instruments."
"I … I do," Zuko managed to get out.
Katara glanced up at him. "You do?"
He nodded. Where his father had only wanted him and Azula to focus on bending and learning war tactics and politics, his mother had encouraged their creativity. Dancing was banned in the Fire Nation, but she had pushed them towards music and art. She'd also often taken them to the theatre. Azula had always grumbled about it and had eventually stopped joining them, but Zuko had secretly loved those times when they had all played music together, watched theatre shows, or painted pictures. His best instrument was the tsungi horn; however, he could also play the dragon flute (which he'd picked up because he thought it had a cool name) and, albeit not as well as his sister, the guzheng.
"Of course I'd love you all to play some music with me," Ursa said, including Aang and Katara in her smile.
Aang offered that he could play the dizi, but Katara admitted she didn't really know how to play any instruments.
"That's okay, Kana." Ursa smiled warmly. "I can teach you."
Colour dusted her cheeks. "I-I'd like that."
Azula just rolled her eyes. "Music is a waste of time. When you're faced with an enemy who wants to kill you, it's not like you can defeat them with a song."
No one really knew how to respond to that. Ursa just looked sad, and all Zuko could do was frown at his lap. His sister's words could have been their father's. It was like hearing him speak through her.
"Not everything has to be about war and defeating your enemies, Ruolan," Aang murmured, also looking sad. "The mo—"
Zuko clamped his hand over Aang's mouth. The last thing they needed was for him to start spouting Air Nomad monk wisdom for everyone to hear.
"Hey," Aang complained, pulling his hand away. "I was talking."
"I know, Kuzon, but you should really finish what you're eating before you speak."
Aang's eyes widened. "Oh, right."
Zuko resisted the urge to facepalm. He knew he wasn't much better at remembering to maintain their fake identities, but still. He'd thought Aang would be better at this. In the end, it almost always fell on Azula and Katara to save them.
"I believe what Kuzon was trying to say, Ruolan," Ursa said softly, "is that music is good because it uplifts us and moves our emotions. Don't you feel something listening to this song?"
Azula's eyebrows inched higher on her forehead. "Why would I? It's just a song."
Tone and demeanour were sharp, but Zuko remembered the way she had stiffened earlier. His sister did feel something, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Even she couldn't erase memories.
oOo
It was a relief to escape from the feast. Quite a few people had come up to speak to them during the more informal part, but for all the celebratory food and smiles, a part of Zuko had felt like he and the others were being tested somehow. It was like everyone in this tribe was just waiting for them to make a mistake so the warriors could come down hard in stabby, burning wrath.
When he said as much to his mother, she laughed and said that was exactly what was happening.
"People don't trust outsiders easily here," she warned, then leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. "Don't let your guard down too much, not even in your home. There will always be eyes watching and ears listening."
He paled. "Er, that might be a problem then."
She raised her eyebrow in a silent command for him to explain. Very quietly, he told her about the arguments and general carelessness they'd already displayed within their little cave house. A frown creased her brow, but all she said was that they should be more careful from now on. Their priority was to get Aang's abilities back. Until then, they couldn't afford to take unnecessary risks.
"Live the lie," she concluded. "That's the safest thing you can do."
She wished them goodnight once they reached their house and promised she would come find them the next day when she got the chance. In an undertone, she added that after three years of being away with no explanation, she had her own suspicions to alleviate. Shizue was in the same boat.
"We'll do what we can, but I'm afraid our assistance will be limited," Ursa said. "You might have to work this out on your own."
"Don't worry, Lady Ursa," Azula said, enunciating each part of her title with cool precision, "we're used to being left on our own."
A flicker of pain passed over Ursa's face, but she only inclined her head slightly and once more wished them goodnight. Then she and Shizue continued down the rocky path.
"Don't you think that was a bit much?" Zuko muttered at his sister.
"What? I was just stating a fact." She smiled before she turned her back on him and entered the house.
He ran a hand over his face, smothering a sigh.
"You okay?" Katara asked, moving to stand next to him and rubbing his arm in a soothing gesture.
"It's just my sister. She's been in a mood all evening and keeps taking it out on M—Ursa."
"Hrmm, someone else I know used to do that too when he was in a mood. Hey, Kuzon, you remember when Lee here used to get all moody at us?"
Aang had been happily snuggling with Appa and Momo, but he turned to them now. "Oh, yeah. That sucked."
Heat crawled on Zuko's cheeks. "Well, sorry about it."
Katara laughed at his disgruntled tone, though her expression sobered a second later. "Look, I don't like your sister or her attitude, but I think maybe she's just trying to work through her own things."
That was probably true. Just because Azula had always been better at restraining her emotions didn't make her automatically good at coping. In fact, he knew from the breakdowns he'd witnessed and what he felt when he connected with her energy that there was a lot of deep-rooted turmoil festering inside her.
"Come on," Katara said gently, tugging on his arm. "Let's just go inside and get some rest."
He allowed her to steer him to the door, though they both paused to tell Aang, or rather Kuzon, to come inside with them.
Aang jumped down from Appa. "Gimme a sec. I wanna see if they'll let Appa out now. He really hates being shut up like this."
He dashed off to one of the lurking warriors, who seemed a bit startled to be approached. Two other warriors were soon roped into joining the conversation. Eventually, Aang came back with slumped shoulders.
"Let me guess," Katara said, "it was a no."
"They said I can let him outside tomorrow, but tonight he has to stay in here. Something about precautions and newcomers, blah, blah, blah." Aang dragged his feet over to Appa and flopped against his furry face. "Sorry, buddy. I tried."
Appa let out a low rumble.
In the end, Zuko had to practically carry Aang inside the house. Most people, as he pointed out to a protesting Aang, did not prefer to sleep in the cold with an air bison and lemur when they could be inside, on an actual bed, with a fire to warm them.
"But Appa doesn't like the caves and—"
"Appa is a big boy bison. I'm sure he'll survive one night." Zuko suddenly frowned. "And no sneaking out later to sleep with him."
Aang pouted. "How'd you know that was what I was planning?"
"Because I know you." Zuko gave his back a slight push. "Now go get some rest. You can see Appa again in the morning."
Katara covered her mouth to suppress a giggle.
"What?" both boys said.
"You two are more like father and son than brothers."
Zuko pulled a horrified face, but Aang seemed to see the funny side in it and decided to call him "Dad" for the rest of the night until he was forced to bed. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Aang only did it because he knew how much it irritated Zuko.
oOo
"Why did you put that idea into his head?" Zuko complained once he and Katara were alone in their room.
Following his mum's suggestion to "live the lie", it made sense for a married couple to share the room with the one bed. Plus, even Katara agreed that putting her and Azula together was an argument waiting to happen. That did mean Aang and Azula were left to share the other room, but neither seemed to care all that much: Azula because she disliked them all equally, and Aang because he was such an easy-going, sunny person.
"You mean about the dad thing?" Katara said as she tugged the tie loose from her hair. "I'm sorry but it's true. You do act like his dad sometimes."
"Well, you act like his mum."
She shrugged, not denying it.
His eyes followed her movements as she ran her fingers through her unbound hair to remove any tangles. It was oddly mesmerising.
Shaking his head slightly, he turned away from her and removed his overcoat and tunic so that he was left in his undershirt and trousers. She also stripped out of her bulky layers and moved to slip under the furs. (Aang had made a fuss about those as well, but Shizue had managed to get him some koala-sheep wool blankets instead, which while not as warm, still did the trick.)
Zuko joined her under the furs, careful to keep a respectful distance between them. It was Katara who stomped all over that by snuggling against him. An icy touch brushed against the exposed skin on his neck and legs, and he lurched back.
"Your hands and feet are cold," he protested.
She laughed and pressed herself even closer, tangling her legs with his and sneaking her icy hands under his shirt. "Then warm me up."
His heart stuttered. Even his scarred eye widened. "Um …"
The cheeky smile she flashed him made his heart pound even more. It didn't help that he was all too conscious of her hands on his bare skin, especially since the cold shock was fading.
Pulling himself together, he grabbed her arms and eased her hands out from under his shirt, then shifted his hold to cover her hands with his own. It only took a bit of concentration to let warmth radiate from his palms. He did the same for her feet, except the warmth seeped from his legs. Perk of being a firebender was that he could make heat emanate from any part of his body if he really wanted.
"Oh, that's nice," she said happily, closing her eyes.
"All you had to do was ask. You didn't have to put your cold hands and feet all over me."
"Mm, but where's the fun in that?"
He nudged her with his foot for that comment, earning a slight twitch of her lips. Her eyes, however, remained shut. Zuko watched her in the soft glow of the fire for a moment, still holding her hands, until tiredness made his own eyes close. It wasn't long before they were both fast asleep.
oOo
"Happy birthday!" Aang beamed and thrust a bowl of winter fruits under Katara's nose. "I made you breakfast!"
"You cut up some fruit," Azula said dryly. "I hardly think that's an achievement."
Katara pursed her lips at Azula. "It's still a nice gesture, but I guess that's something you wouldn't understand."
"I'm nice to those who deserve it."
Zuko snorted. "Must be a short list."
"Exactly. Not many deserve it."
He shook his head, knowing well what his sister was like.
Katara glowered at her a moment before raising her hands in a resigned gesture. "You know what? I can't be bothered dealing with you right now." She turned and gave Aang a hug. "Thanks for the breakfast."
"You're welcome, though if I'd known earlier that your birthday was today, I would have prepared you something better."
"I'm perfectly happy with this."
He beamed again.
Azula made a show of rolling her eyes. "I think I just lost my appetite."
Katara's temple twitched. "No one asked you."
"I know." An almost sweet smile.
Zuko placed his head in his hands. This was even worse than when Mai and Katara had used to clash all the time.
"What about you, Brother?" Azula said, shifting her attention to him. "Did you give a nice birthday gift to your wife this morning?"
He raised his face from his hands. "Given that she was still asleep when I got up this morning, no."
"Ah, I see. You two had all your fun last night."
Katara choked on a slice of mandarin. "What?"
"Oh, so you did?"
"No!" Zuko and Katara retorted, both red-faced.
Azula actually laughed. "You're too easy." She stood up. "Anyway, I've had enough family for one morning. I'm going to go explore, see if I can find anything interesting."
"You sure you want to go alone?" Zuko asked.
"Why? Offering to join me?"
She said it archly, like she didn't expect him to follow through on an offer to spend time with her. Maybe she had a point as well, for even he was surprised when the words slipped from his mouth.
"Do you want me to?"
Something flickered in her expression, slicing through the haughtiness in a ripple of hesitancy. She plastered on one of her sharp little smiles. "Oh, I wouldn't want to steal your time today. It's your wife's birthday, remember? You should spend it with her."
Katara huffed something under her breath, but Zuko just continued to stare at his sister. He hadn't forgotten what Katara had said last night about Azula's snide attitude and the comparison with his own past behaviour. He also hadn't forgotten what his mum had told him.
"Try to be patient with your sister."
"Mum wouldn't want you to go alone," he said, not quite meeting her gaze. "Plus, we … we haven't had much time to just … catch up."
The hesitance was back in her eyes, however slight. Then she turned away. "I think I'll pass."
Zuko watched her leave the house, not sure if he was sad or relieved. Everything in him felt like a weighty, tangled mess.
"You tried," Katara said, leaning over and placing her hand on his knee. "And to be honest, it's more than she deserves."
He sighed. "I guess …"
The three of them continued to eat their breakfast. Aang was full of chatter. He explained how he'd run into the warrior he'd befriended during their trek to the caves yesterday, who had agreed to take him and Appa to the surface so they could meet the bison herd. He had wanted to go earlier, but his warrior friend had chores to finish up.
"I can't wait," Aang said, practically bouncing up and down on his cushion. "I hope she comes soon."
As if on cue, there was a tap at the door. Aang bolted over to open it. He grinned hugely at the warrior, who was sans mask and standing with her fist still raised as if to knock again. She was older, maybe in her early twenties, and had her black hair pulled into a topknot.
"Min!" Aang exclaimed. "You made it!"
She lowered her hand. "I see you're as energetic as ever, kid."
"Can we go see the bison now?"
"That's why I'm here." Her gaze drifted past Aang to where Zuko and Katara were still sitting around the low table. "Morning. You two interested in meeting the bison as well?"
Zuko and Katara exchanged a glance, then both nodded at Min.
"Alright," Min said with an easy smile. "Let's get going."
oOo
The herd of bison had made a home for themselves in the higher cliffs of the island, nestling together in the crevices and blending in with the clouds. Appa rumbled happily and took off to greet them.
"Hey, wait!" Aang cried. "Appa!"
Appa didn't even look back.
"Oh man." Aang pouted, shoulders slumping. "He was supposed to fly us up."
Katara laughed. "What did you expect? This is the first time he's seen other bison."
"Still. Now we have to walk. Walking sucks."
Min snorted. "Come on, kid. Some walking might help get a bit of muscle on those skinny legs of yours."
"Hey, I have nice legs."
"My arms are bigger than your legs."
This was true and had Zuko and Katara both trying to suppress smiles.
As they began the steep trek, Min explained that most of the tribe didn't bother to go up to the cliffs. The climb was by no means easy and the bison weren't exactly tame.
"What do you mean they're not exactly tame?" Aang asked.
"Just what I said. I don't know how you got Appa to be so well-mannered. Even the bison I've managed to befriend are still skittish. They'd never let strangers pet them, let alone anyone ride them." She nudged his shoulder. "You'll have to tell me your secret."
"My secret, huh?" Aang laughed a bit nervously.
Katara pointed up at the sky. "Look, Appa is coming back."
Sure enough, Appa swooped down towards them and landed on the slope. He gave a low rumble but didn't sound so happy now. Momo, who had been perched on Katara's shoulder, fluttered over to chitter at him.
"What's wrong, buddy?" Aang asked. "Were the other bison mean to you?"
Appa huffed a breath and made more low rumbles.
"Aww, I'm sorry."
Min leaned towards Zuko. "Your brother can't actually understand air bison, can he?"
Zuko shrugged. "No idea."
Aang turned to face them. "Appa's sad 'cause the bison are acting all wary of him."
"It could be because he's carrying your scents," Min mused.
"Should we keep going up then?" Katara asked. "Wouldn't that just unsettle them more?"
"Ah, it'll be okay. We'll just keep our distance, but perhaps we can catch a ride on Appa this time."
Judging by the gleam in Min's eyes, it seemed she was more excited by the prospect of flying than actually introducing them to the herd. Nevertheless, they all piled on Appa and flew up to the cliffs. Most of the bison stayed in their little crevices or just growled warily. A smaller one was curious enough to come over and give them a sniff, but it was hardly the joyful meeting Aang had been hoping for. He had gone very still and quiet.
"You okay?" Zuko asked quietly.
Aang gave a little shrug. "It's just different, I guess." His lips curved into a sad smile. "It's always different …"
Zuko wordlessly wrapped an arm around him. Aang leaned into the contact but said nothing further. When Katara suggested they head back, no one protested.
oOo
The day passed in a relatively uneventful way. Zuko and Katara stuck with Aang, who wandered around hoping that he would feel something to point him in the direction of the spirit who had called him to the islands. He got nothing.
"Maybe it's wherever people go to try sense other fire healers," Katara said.
She was probably right, but they were in no position to go demanding entrance to that place. Zuko figured they'd just have to sneak in at some point, but best not to do that on their second day. The tribe were still too much on high alert.
At one point they bumped into Atsuo and Yuzo, who wished Katara a happy birthday but otherwise couldn't stay to chat since they had to go do their punishment work. This put Zuko in mind of the fact he still hadn't got a gift for her. It had been troubling him all day.
"Something wrong?" Katara asked.
"Huh?"
"You're frowning."
"Oh. Um, just lost in thought."
She let the matter drop. Even so, he continued to watch her and fret about what would be a good gift. It didn't occur to him to wonder why he cared so much.
oOo
That night they had dinner with Yuzo, Shizue and Ursa. (Atsuo, unfortunately, had not been allowed to join them.) Ursa had also brought some instruments for them to play. Azula excused herself from the music with a headache, but Katara seemed to enjoy having his mum teach her to play the guzheng. She also fruitlessly tried to make sound come out of a bamboo flute. This amused Zuko to no end.
"No, like this," he said, taking it from her and showing her the proper technique.
She tried again and this time got a tremoring note to come out. "I did it!"
He smiled and showed her a few more tips.
At some point, Ursa left to go check on Azula. The little party started to die down then. Aang continued to muck around on the instruments and tried to cajole a reluctant Shizue to play with him, but it wasn't long before Yuzo was standing up and saying goodbye.
"You're leaving already?" Aang said with a pout.
"It's late and I have a boyfriend to cheer up." A wink. "Chiyo thinks she can punish him by keeping him isolated, but I've been sneaking into his room for years."
Aang went a bit pink. "Oh."
"I might not catch you tomorrow, but I'll keep an ear out for anything useful."
"Thanks," Katara said, "and tell Atsuo I'm sorry he couldn't make it tonight."
Yuzo nodded, wished her happy birthday one last time, and took his leave.
Zuko's heart thumped a little at the birthday reminder.
Do it now, his mind urged.
"Um, Ka—na …"
She laughed at his almost slip up. "Yes, Lee?"
"Can we, er, talk?"
Her eyebrows inched up her forehead. "We are talking."
"I mean alone."
Soft colour dusted her cheeks. "Oh. Sure."
They stood up and entered their bedroom, leaving Aang still trying to cajole Shizue. Zuko was conscious of the moisture gathering on his palms. His heart thumped faster. For some reason, this felt more nerve-wracking than any of the stealth missions he'd done as the Blue Spirit. It didn't help that she just stared at him expectantly. He coughed to clear his throat.
"Um, so it's your birthday today."
She laughed a little. "I know."
His face heated. "Right. Well, um, I wanted to get you a gift, but I didn't really know what to get you, and then I saw, um …" He gave up on trying to explain and instead reached into his tunic, offering her a small gift wrapped in cloth. "This is for you. From me." A wince. "I mean obviously it's from me because I'm giving it to you now, but …"
Ugh, why couldn't he stop talking?
She smiled and, mercifully, stopped his flow of words by taking the gift from him. "Thank you. Is it okay if I open it now?"
He nodded.
She unfolded the cloth, revealing a wooden comb painted with a delicate design of flowers. Her mouth formed a small O.
"I noticed last night you were combing your hair with your fingers, and then I saw this in the market today and I thought of you, and um, yeah …" He rubbed the base of his neck and looked the other way, his face hot. "If you don't like it, I can take it back tomorrow and exchange it for something else or—"
"I like it."
"Wait, you do?"
"Of course. It's beautiful, and it's just what I needed. I accidentally left my comb on the ship."
He sighed in relief. "Good. That's good. That's really good."
She smiled and stepped closer, leaning up on her tiptoes. Her lips brushed his cheek, close to the corner of his mouth. Everything in him thudded to the sudden pulse of his heart.
"Thank you," she murmured.
He exhaled a bit shakily. "Um, no problem."
They both paused as their fake names were called.
"We should go back," he said.
She nodded and placed the comb down, then walked with him out of the room to join the others.
oOo
Everyone had finally left or gone to bed. Azula stood in the main living area, which glowed faintly with light from the smouldering fire in the centre of the room. A guzheng lay on the low table. No doubt Mother had left it on purpose.
She walked over and touched the strings with her right hand, soft enough not to make a sound. In her mind, every song she had been taught replayed. She knew which strings to pluck, when to pause, how to craft it all together to make it perfect.
She had been perfect then.
Her lips twisted and she raised her hand, blue flames blossoming from her fingers.
"Are you really going to burn it?"
She flinched and twisted around to see the Avatar watching her, cradling the lemur in his arms. "What's it to you?"
"It would be a waste, don't you think? It's such a nice instrument."
"Well, I find it offensive."
"But you used to play it, didn't you?"
"So what?" Her tone was steel and sharpness. "I used to do a lot of things."
He stepped closer to the glow of the fire. "Hrmm, will you play for me then?"
She blinked. "What?"
"If you're going to burn it, will you at least play one song for me?"
Azula blinked a few more times.
"Just one," he repeated, then smiled. "I think that's what the guzheng would want."
"Really? Because I doubt it wants anything. It's not alive. It's an instrument."
"Maybe it doesn't breathe or have a heart, but we can give it soul with our hands and the memories we create while playing it." He shrugged. "Or that's what the monks used to say."
Azula raised her eyebrow. "Do you actually believe that rubbish?"
He just smiled a bit sadly. "Will you play me a song or not?"
She was tempted to blast the guzheng then and there just to shut him up. It would be satisfying to see his friendliness shatter, to remind him that she was not someone who could be approached so casually. There was a monster in her bones, in her soul. It gnashed its teeth for release, complaining that she had been forbearing with these fools for far too long.
But Mother seemed to think she could be more than a monster. Mother kept saying she just had to try.
Azula's lips twisted even more. The blue flames pulsed brighter, bigger, but then she glanced at the stringed instrument and saw herself as a child, heard the songs she had used to create. All those memories …
The fire snuffed out in her closed fist. Her voice was harsh when she spoke. "One song."
He smiled and settled on a cushion with the lemur, watching her expectantly. She swallowed and sat down in front of the instrument. There was no way she could put the nail picks on without assistance, but the fingernails on her right hand were long and strong. It would have to do.
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Then she released the breath and started to play.
Her fingers were sure, the strings plucked with perfect precision. But her left arm remained limp at her side. She couldn't hush the strings properly, couldn't do anything too complicated. Every strum was a reminder of her limitations, her imperfections.
A choking thing formed in her throat, tight and constricting. She kept playing, even as her breathing sharpened and her eyes narrowed in frustration. A smaller hand joined hers on the strings and picked up the part, albeit poorly, that would have been assigned to her left hand. She glanced up and met the Avatar's eyes.
Grey eyes that were so similar to Ty Lee's.
"What are you doing?" she hissed.
"Helping."
"I did not ask for your help."
"I know, but I wanted to give it to you anyway." His mouth curved into a small smile. "That's what friends do, you know."
She removed her hand from the strings. "You are not my friend."
"I could be."
Her fingers twitched, itching to bunch into her palms. He really was like Ty Lee. Same openness, same easy friendliness, as if it didn't matter that she had once pinned him down with the intention of hurting him to the point where he couldn't be a threat to the Fire Nation anymore. He had forgiven her for the hurt she'd caused him, and he made it clear in every smile, every word.
She raised her chin and looked him coolly in his Ty Lee eyes. "I played you a song. You can go now."
"But—"
"Go."
Her tone was clipped and demanded obedience. The Avatar sighed and stood up, dragging his feet as he scooped up his lemur. He glanced over his shoulder at her.
"You don't have to do everything on your own, Azula," he said softly. "I just want you to know that. Oh, and your playing? It was really nice."
Azula did not watch him leave, nor did she acknowledge him. Instead, she cradled blue fire and glared at the instrument on the table.
When morning came, the guzheng was still there.
Headcanon time. I like to think Zuko is actually a pretty creative person. I see him being skilled at art and music, and this would have been encouraged by Ursa. However, he would have suppressed all that part of himself during his banishment because he was trying to do what his father wanted, and Ozai had always thought such things a waste of time. Also, we all know Zuko was in super angst, self-punishing mode during his "I have to get my honour back" days.
Azula on the other hand, is someone who I think would be naturally gifted at music (as in can read notes and pick up instruments easily), but she didn't allow herself to have a passion for it. As a child, I think she was much faster to deny herself things if she perceived that their father didn't really approve.
Also, if anyone has issue with the fact Aang ends up using koala-sheep wool blankets, I'll remind that he's vegetarian, not vegan, and shearing is actually beneficial for domesticated sheep.