He'd been too late.

Zuko sat in front of the abyss, still as a statue, and let his body go numb. It was how he felt anyway. The thread was gone. Aang's door of energy was gone. Aang had jumped, Zuko had panicked and raged, and then … nothing.

No bond. No Aang.

Katara kept trying to say there had to be an explanation. She reminded him that Aang had been called to this place, that the spirit had said this was how he'd get his lost abilities back. She said Avatar stuff didn't always make sense at first.

"I don't care about Avatar stuff!" Zuko shouted. "I don't want to even hear that word now!"

"But he—"

"Just don't. Don't try to make this better. Don't tell me it's going to be okay, because all I can think is how much I kept saying he had to overcome his block. I kept saying the world needed him, that the world needed the Avatar." Grief spilled out of his shattered numbness, burning his eyes and wetting his cheeks with tears. "I pushed him. We all pushed him, and for what? So he could throw himself into some death hole?"

"I don't think he—"

"I don't care!" His chest hurt so much, as if a wall was crushing his lungs. "This is wrong. It's all wrong, and now I can't feel him anymore. I can't, I can't …"

Words failed as he shuddered for breath and his throat got too constricted by the choking lump that had formed. Katara wrapped her arms around him. She held him so tight that it hurt his ribs, but he didn't mind. He clutched her back just as desperately.

"He's alive," she whispered.

Zuko shook his head, not really disagreeing but unable to agree either. Everything in him ached with loss.

She pulled back and took his face in her hands, meeting his eyes. Her own were just as bright with tears. "He's alive, okay? I know it."

"Then why did the bond vanish?" His voice broke. "He's always been there within me. I keep trying and trying to connect with him, but I can't. I can't."

Her thumbs brushed away his tears. "I don't know why the bond is gone, but I do know Aang is still out there. He has to be."

"How? How can you be so certain?"

She took his hand and placed it on her chest. "Because I feel it here."

The steady beat of her heart thrummed against his palm. He swallowed and met her gaze.

"He's not gone," she said. "He's going to come back to us. Trust me. Trust him."

Zuko's breath caught in his throat. She was amazing. He had never met anyone so full of faith and optimism. The sheer conviction in her eyes made all his fears seem so insubstantial. It made hope bloom again in a tiny bud.

Without a word, he pulled her tightly into his arms. Her hands stroked his back, light and soothing. He sighed into her hair and closed his eyes.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" he breathed, so soft it was the merest exhalation of words.

"Hrm? Did you say something?"

He held her even closer, taking comfort in her warmth and scent. "It's nothing. I just … I'm sorry I yelled at you, and I'm glad you came. I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." A beat. "You'd be totally lost without me."

She meant it as harmless teasing—just an attempt to lighten the mood—but his whole body resonated with the truth of that statement. He really would be lost without her.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. They were such a beautiful colour, like flecks of ocean and sky interwoven. Before he'd met her, he'd never known blue could be so warm. He'd never known he could come to love the colour so much.

His hand glided up to her cheek while the other remained loosely on her waist. "Katara," he whispered.

"What?"

"Thank you. Truly."

He pressed his forehead to hers, eyes sliding shut again. Their breath intermingled for a few heartbeats before he pulled back and got to his feet. She glanced up at his extended hand.

"Come on," he said, "we can't stay here."

"What about Aang? Shouldn't we wait for him?"

"He'll come back to us when he's ready. We just have to trust him, right?"

The corner of her mouth curved a fraction. "You're right."

oOo

Zuko set out for the prisons later that night. Azula, for all that she would have liked to join him, had conceded that stealth was more his forte than hers. It didn't help that she only had one functioning arm. As such, she settled for telling him not to screw up and then sat on her preferred cushion to wait. Katara sat on the opposite cushion and kept giving her sidelong glances.

"What?" Azula snapped after several minutes of this.

"Nothing."

Silence continued. So did the glances.

She narrowed her eyes. "Spit it out if there's something you wish to say."

Katara shifted on her cushion, one hand fidgeting with a loose lock of hair. "I just …"

"What?"

"No, it's nothing. Forget it."

Azula raised her eyebrows. Miss Bleeding Heart's cheeks had gone a bit pink, which meant whatever she wanted to say made her embarrassed. "Is this about my brother?"

"I said forget it!"

Ah, the blush had darkened. Right on target then.

"We're probably going to be here for a while," Azula observed. "I can't say I'm fond of your company, but talking would be more interesting than sitting here in silence. Well, for the most part."

"Do you ever say anything that isn't an insult?"

"Oh, don't act so self-righteous. You know you don't like me either."

Katara did not argue this point. Instead, she sighed and traced a random pattern with her finger on the low table. Her mouth twisted as she struggled to get words out. "Is it … is it true that in the Fire Nation you ..."

The silence dragged.

Azula's eyebrows rose even higher. "It hardly needs to be said, but I can't answer your question if you don't tell me it."

"Well, you're not making this any easier when you keep looking at me all judgey."

"You flail. I judge. Just spit it out."

Katara sighed loudly again and pressed her face to her hands, perhaps in a poor attempt to hide the blush spreading all over her cheeks. "Alright, alright. I heard this morning that—"

There was a knock at the door. The two girls exchanged a glance of mutual wariness. Without a word, Katara got to her feet and headed for the door. Azula followed her, cradling flames behind her back just in case their visitor intended trouble.

"Who is it?" Katara asked.

"It's us."

Us sounded like Yuzo and Atsuo.

Katara opened the door. Azula snuffed her flames in her fist as she realised it really was just the two boys. Rather than greet them, she headed back to her cushion and left Katara to do the social niceties. That didn't stop Atsuo from giving her a silent hello once he was inside. He was always friendly with her—had been ever since he'd healed her while they'd both been Shūrin's prisoners. It had used to bother her a little, but not so much these days.

Yuzo and Atsuo stayed for a while to talk. Katara told them about what happened with Aang, which had both boys calling him crazy and making many concerned opinions. Still, Miss Bleeding Heart also seemed to be Miss Hopeful Speeches, because she was quick to come to Aang's defence and claimed it would all work out.

"It had better," Yuzo said frankly. "Coming here would have been a waste of time otherwise. The sooner we leave, the better. Can't wait to get away from this toxic place and that woman."

Atsuo frowned and his shoulders slumped a little. That woman was probably his mother.

Katara placed her hand on his arm. "She's still not talking to you?"

He shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

He just shrugged as if to say it couldn't be helped.

"What's her problem anyway?" Katara asked. "Why is she so … you know, her?"

Atsuo signed how his mother had always been pretty strict, but that had only got worse when she'd been made Head Warrior. It was like she felt he had to be perfect—no broken rules, no mistakes, no exceptions. Plus, she'd hated the fact he hadn't wanted to follow in her footsteps. Fighting and training to become a warrior had never interested him. He'd just liked being a healer.

"What about your dad?"

He shrugged and admitted he had no idea who his dad was. The relationship clearly hadn't lasted, or maybe the guy was dead, or maybe he just didn't want anything to do with them. Either way, his mother was the only family he had now.

"Still seems harsh," Katara said with a frown. "I just can't believe she's treating you this way. I mean, she's your mum."

"Not all parents love unconditionally," Azula muttered.

It was something she and Zuko had both learnt very quickly about their father. Mistakes were punished, kindness was almost non-existent, and respect was only offered if one was seen of worth. She'd used to take pleasure in knowing she was the only one who could get their father's approval, but now she tried not to think of him at all. Just the thought of returning to the Fire Nation made it feel like there was a ball of dread lodged in her chest.

Father would be much harsher than Chiyo if Azula ever met him again.

Atsuo met her eyes with open sympathy. It was like he'd read her inside and out, like he'd pieced together her thoughts in one blow. Azula didn't much like that. She stood up and declared she'd had enough of their company for one night. Exposing her vulnerability in front of Zuko was one thing, but she had no desire to do it in front of these people.

oOo

It wasn't hard to get to the prisons. Zuko was good at stealth and he had done his research. No, the hard part was accepting that he couldn't free his mum and Shizue on the spot. There were no visible injuries on either of them, but he didn't like the stiff way Shizue moved. His mum was even worse. She'd been resting on the floor when he'd first turned up, had taken way too long to sit, and now seemed frailer than ever.

"What have they done?" he demanded as he crouched in front of her cell, hands curled tight around the metal bars. "Did they hurt you?"

"It's nothing," Ursa said, but it was obvious she was trying too hard to be dismissive.

"Shizue?" He looked to the neighbouring cell, urging her to tell him the truth.

"Forty lashes to the back."

His stomach clenched. "I could heal—"

"No," Ursa cut in. "They'll be bound to notice and then they'd know you'd been here."

He lowered his gaze, gritting his teeth.

She placed her hands over his. Her touch was a shock of ice. "Listen, I'm glad to see you, but you shouldn't have come. It's too dangerous."

"It's fine. I still have some time before the patrol comes back. No one will know I was here."

"And what if they come back earlier? What if something happens to mess up your plan?" Her lips curved into a sad smile. "You're too reckless, my love. You always were."

He frowned and covered her hands with his. "You're cold."

"They don't let us have fires," Shizue said in a flat tone. "All part of the punishment."

His grip tightened on his mum's hands. She was so thin. Being stuck this deep in the caves with no heat couldn't be good for her, especially since it was winter. "Are they doing anything to take care of you?"

"Don't worry about me. What matters is you and your sister are safe."

He swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat. "Is that why you did it? Is that why you lied?"

"If the sages had learnt the truth, the punishment would have been far worse. They would not have forgiven Shizue and me for keeping you from them for so long. They would have wanted to make you theirs, no matter what it took. As for Azula, she would be considered too much of a threat. I couldn't risk it."

The explanation did nothing to ease the heaviness in his chest, nor did the dark circles under her eyes or her subtle shivers.

"I hate this," he whispered. "I hate seeing you like this."

She reached through the bars and stroked his face. "That's why you shouldn't have come. It only hurts us both."

He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, not caring that her skin felt like ice.

"Go now," she said, pulling back from him. "We'll be okay. We'll survive. Just make sure Aang—"

"Oh. You don't know."

He quickly told her what had happened.

Shizue's brow furrowed. "It can't be good that the bond was severed. The Avatar is not a fire healer, and a life bond like yours is only cut when one or both die."

"That worried me too," he admitted, "but Katara is certain he's alive. I want to believe her. I want to believe in him."

"I do not think we need to fear," Ursa murmured. "There is a power at work here that we cannot see, but he was guided by it. We must trust that this is all a step towards him realising his destiny."

Shizue did not look impressed. "I find it hard to believe the world will be saved by a child who likes to play with marbles."

Zuko almost smiled. "He showed you that trick?"

"He showed everyone. We were on that ship for a long time."

His lips did twitch into a smile then. Trust Aang to go around showing people his dumb bending tricks.

Ursa touched his hands again, drawing his attention. She once more encouraged him to leave before he was caught. She didn't think the risk was worth it. It was best to keep their heads down until Aang sorted out his side of things.

"I don't want to leave you."

"You must." Her thumb stroked the back of his hand. "I have been through worse than this. Trust me, Shizue and I will be fine."

He closed his eyes briefly. "Fine. I'll go for now, but at least let me help you with this."

He clasped her hands, allowing heat to emanate from his palms to warm her. It wasn't enough, of course. Not for Shizue when he did the same for her either. That was the worst part about all of this. It hurt to see them cold and in pain. It hurt to know there was nothing more he could do, not unless he wanted to bring more trouble upon them.

"I'll come again tomorrow night," he whispered.

"You'd better not," Ursa responded.

He gave her a look that made it clear she couldn't change his mind.

"Stubborn boy." She stroked his cheek again. "Do me this favour. Keep yourself safe."

"I'm good at this, Mum. You really don't have to worry."

She laughed in a bit of exasperation. "Your uncle is right. You're going to turn all my hair grey with your stubborn recklessness, and even then I'm sure you'll be saying, 'It's okay, Mum. You don't need to worry.'"

"Uncle said that?"

That was kind of offensive. Zuko had been trying really hard to curb his impulses and think things through before taking action. It wasn't his fault bad things kept happening. Sometimes risks had to be taken. Sometimes he was the only one who could take action.

His thoughts must have showed on his expression, for she smiled and ruffled his hair. It was something she'd done when he was a child, and it brought a small blush to his cheeks now. He was almost seventeen; his hair was not for ruffling … even if he did kind of like it. There was affection in every careless touch. He had missed that.

"Your uncle loves you, as do I." Her voice took on the Mum Tone. "And that's why you'll turn me grey if you insist on being stubborn and make me worry so much."

"I don't want to do that to you." He touched her dark hair and met her eyes. "But I'm worried about you too, and Azula is as well, so you have to let me check up on you for both of us, okay?"

Something shifted in her expression. "Azula said she was worried about me?"

"Not in those words, but close enough. You know her."

"I see."

He bit his lip. "Actually, um, I think you were right about me needing to be patient with her. She hasn't been so hostile these days, and I think … I think she's beginning to see that Father was wrong. I think she's trying to change."

She smiled softly. "I'm glad. I had hoped that being away from his influence would help her."

His frown deepened. "About that. There's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"What?"

"Why did you marry him? Why did you even leave this place?"

She pulled back from the bars as if retreating into a shell. "An Dung would say it was my destiny."

"Your destiny?"

"The tribe needed a spy in the palace. Someone close to the Fire Lord. Someone who could move freely and not be viewed as a threat. I was chosen because my father was Avatar Roku's son and it was known that Fire Lord Azulon was looking for a wife for Prince Ozai. It didn't matter that my father married a fire healer and moved to this place. It didn't matter that my grandfather was viewed as an enemy to the Fire Nation. My blood was still considered noble, second only to that of the royal family. All I had to do was pretend I believed in Sozin's vision."

"That was really all it took?"

"Failure was not an option. I did what was necessary to ensure your father would not wish to marry any other woman."

A frown tugged at his lips. He'd grown up in the palace long enough to know that was code for Things Best Left Unexplained.

"Why are you worrying about this, my love? It happened a long time ago, and regardless of what I feel for your father, I do not regret giving birth to you or your sister. If given the choice, I would do it all again if that meant I got to keep you as my children."

"How can you feel that way after all you must have gone through?"

She leaned forward to cup his cheek through the bars. "Because I love you. I love you both." A final stroke of her thumb. "Now go before the guards return."

Zuko didn't argue this time. He left his mum and Shizue with promises that he would come back the next night. Maybe if they were really lucky, Aang would have returned by then so a jailbreak could happen. He definitely didn't want to dwell on what it would mean if they were all wrong about trusting Aang's judgement.

He has to come back. He has to.

The words were an echo in his heart. It wasn't because Aang was the Avatar or they could actually do with his help. Zuko just wanted his friend back. He couldn't imagine a world without Aang's bright smiles and cheerful chatter. He didn't want to imagine that world.

oOo

Ding. Ding.

The chime was gentle yet piercing. Aang opened his eyes with a clawing gasp. He was flat on his back, his whole body aching, lungs screaming for breath. It felt like someone had punched a hole through his ribs and snatched something precious from him. Tears prickled as he struggled to comprehend the phantom wound of loss. Physical pain he could handle, but this …

This hurt like a blade to the soul.

Gingerly, he sat up and looked around. He was sitting in water, though it was shallow enough to only submerge his hands. Mist cloaked everything else. His heart quickened and he pushed himself to his feet, staggering and creating little splashes. "Hello!" he called. "Anyone here?"

No answer.

Panic squeezed his chest. This was too much like that misty place of nothing he'd been trapped in during his coma.

"Hello! Guardian Spirit? Roku?"

He tried to run, but his legs trembled like jelly and he collapsed onto his hands and knees. Water dripped from his face. He wasn't sure if it was from the splashes or tears. For a moment he just stared at his frightened reflection, watching it ripple and distort.

"Avatar Aang."

The voice seemed to come from everywhere, though it was not the same that had spoken to him before. This one was smooth and feminine.

He scrambled to his feet. "Hello? Who's there?"

"This way."

Aang was about to ask where "this way" was meant to be, but then he caught sight of a stone pedestal in the distance, cradled by a circle of light. He approached it as swiftly as his wobbly legs would allow. On top of the white stone lay four items: a clay turtle, a pull-string propeller, a wooden hog monkey, and a wooden hand drum. His heart got lodged in his throat. These were the Avatar relics. These were the four toys he had chosen out of thousands, which had convinced the monks he was the reincarnated Avatar.

"What … what's going on?" he asked.

"This is where it all began for you."

The mist parted in a rush. Colours and shapes formed, showing him the Southern Air Temple where he had grown up. Aang's heart ached as he saw his old friends and mentors. They were so real, seemed so close, as if he could just reach out his hand and touch them. Before he could test this theory, the scene changed to those days of increased isolation and study. The other kids had stopped playing with him, the older monks had turned stricter and stricter. Gyatso was the only one who seemed to care about his feelings.

"Why are you showing me this?"

He didn't want to relieve these memories, because of course he knew what happened next. The monks had tried to separate him from Gyatso and he had chosen to run away. He had fled from his responsibilities and ended up trapped in an iceberg for a hundred years.

"Perhaps you should ask yourself. Why did you run?"

"I was scared. I didn't want to lose Gyatso."

"You were scared of losing your friend, yes, but that is not the real reason."

He stared at his feet, insides squirming. "I … I didn't want to be the Avatar. I just wanted to be a normal kid."

"From the moment you took your first breath, you were not like the other children."

"I know." Aang closed his eyes. "I know I can't run from my duties anymore. The world needs me."

"Knowing is not enough."

"W-what?"

"If you truly wish to reclaim what you have lost, you must prove yourself worthy. You must prove you are ready to take up the mantle of being the Avatar."

"I thought I did that when I jumped into the abyss."

"That was only the first trial, and one you may still yet fail."

"But I jumped. I'm here."

"To be reborn, one must first taste death. One must be willing to lose everything. Are you ready to lose everything, Avatar Aang? Or will you turn back to protect the bond you cherish?"

His eyes widened and he clutched his chest. "Zuko. That's what happened! Our bond is gone!"

"For now, yes. And if you keep going forward, it will be severed permanently."

"Why?" He glanced around at the mist, seeking any trace of the voice's owner. "Why does it have to be cut? Zuko has helped me so much! He's saved my life and everything!"

"Indeed, he has done much for you. Yet how can you be born anew when your spirit is anchored to him? How can you be an Avatar when you are too scared to walk on your own?"

"I-I'm not too scared. I'm just …"

"Then let him go."

Aang swallowed. "There's no other way?"

"There is not."

Everything in him seemed to plummet as if the weight of mountains was pressing down on him. He didn't want to give up his bond. He cherished the closeness he shared with Zuko, cherished the comfort it gave him to know they were always connected. Just experiencing this temporary separation was bad enough. He didn't want to be stuck with all the loss and crushing aloneness that had been carved into his soul.

But then maybe that was the problem. Maybe the voice was right. Zuko had become like his Gyatso, and right now he had to choose which bond was more important: the one he shared with his friend or the one he was supposed to share with his past lives.

Aang let out a breath. "Okay. I'll do it. I'll let go of the bond."

Saying the words ripped new holes of grief and loss into his soul, but he had already come this far. Plus, he still remembered what Zuko had told him at the Eastern Air Temple, back when he'd struggled to unlock the final chakra because of his attachment to Katara:

"You're not going to lose her, Aang. But if you keep trying to make her your anchor, a part of you will always be controlled by your attachment to her. Look at what's happening right now: you have the chance to master the Avatar State … but instead you're holding yourself back because you're scared that you'll find yourself alone again. You're just running away."

Blunt as those words had been, they were true. Katara was still at Aang's side, albeit not in the way he had hoped. Aang had to be brave again now. Losing the bond did not mean he would lose Zuko. This was just another part of moving forward.

He had to learn to walk on his own.

Jaw clenched tight, he marched into the mist and left the pedestal and the images of the Southern Air Temple behind. He did not look back.

I've mentioned before this story was outlined pre-comics and LoK, so all the Ursa backstory and stuff has nothing to do with this fic (as you can see). No Ikem or anything like that to be found here.