Sweat trickled down Aang's back. He tugged off his layers so that he was left only in the sleeveless tunic. It was too hot for all those clothes. All around him, life brimmed at its peak—trees towering to the buttery-lit sky, endless blooms of flowers. Everything was lush and full.

A song-like call came from above. He winced against the glare of the sun as a bird the size of an air temple descended. It was a deep red and fire trailed from its wings and long-feathered tail. He'd never seen anything like it.

"Avatar Aang," the spirit greeted, looking down at him through eyes that glowed like embers.

"Who are you?"

"I have gone by many names." A graceful shrug. "Most humans know me as Agni."

Aang blinked. "Agni? So you're like the patron spirit of the Fire Nation?"

"Only in the sense that those humans are the ones who wish to call upon me. In reality, we spirits do not care for geographical divisions. It is humans who broke themselves into nations."

"Huh. I guess that's true."

Agni frowned. "We are straying from the point. You know why you are here."

"I'm guessing you're going to test me so I can get stronger like the other two spirits did."

"There is no test I can give you."

"What? Then why—"

"There is no test because the power you seek is already yours."

Aang's brow furrowed. "But it's not. I can't go into the Avatar State. I can't seem to access any of my spiritual abilities."

"Do you know where your power comes from?"

"Um, it's the spirit energy within me … right?"

Agni looked skyward. "This is what happens when you get reincarnated as a human," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"You are not a mere human. You are the Avatar Spirit. That is why, even though you have not been able to access all of your abilities, you can still wield the four elements."

"Oh." Aang rubbed the base of his neck. "You know, I never actually thought about that."

"Clearly."

"But then why are my other abilities blocked?"

"Why do you think?"

He glanced down at his hands. "I … I guess it started when I didn't listen to my past lives. I got shut out of the Avatar State even though I should have been in control."

"And then what?"

"I got the Avatar State back, but I still couldn't quite control it. Then I got hit by that rock and, um, I think I died for a bit. When I got healed and woke up, everything was all messed up."

The reddish embers seemed to glow brighter in Agni's eyes. "By now, I'm sure you understand that bonds are powerful. The one you share with your past lives is exceptionally so. It is a link of power that has been built upon with each of your reincarnations."

"You're talking about the Avatar Cycle."

Agni nodded. "When you refused to use fire after unblocking your chakras, you were denying an entire part of that cycle. That is why you got shut out rather than losing control. It is one thing to fear and deny in ignorance; it is quite another to do so after enlightenment."

Wriggly knots formed in his stomach. "I didn't realise it would do that."

"Nevertheless, your choice that day weakened your connection to your past lives. Even when you overcame your fear of fire and started to bend it again, the strain lingered."

"I know." His shoulders slumped. "I could feel something was wrong. It was like there was a resistance when I tried to connect with my past lives, like we weren't quite in sync, so I couldn't have the control I'd gained by unlocking the chakras."

"Spiritual wounds are not easily fixed. On top of that, your connection was damaged even more when you died while in the Avatar State. It would have been severed completely had your healer friends not been there to save you."

Aang winced in remembrance. It was hard to forget the image of all his past lives crumbling to dust. It had haunted him for weeks.

"So, what am I supposed to do?" he asked. "You said the power is already mine, but I can't connect with my past lives anymore and—"

"You haven't realised?"

"Uh …"

"Yes, your chi was damaged and the link to your past lives blocked, but that is not the case now. When you chose to embrace the waters of change, when you were reborn and grounded yourself in an unwavering desire to bring balance to the world, the way was cleared for you."

Hoped fluttered like wings in Aang's heart. "You mean … you mean they're all here? I can reach my past lives again?"

"Indeed. You just need to open yourself to them."

Aang smiled so wide it hurt his cheeks. "Really? Then I'm going to try now!"

He sat in his preferred lotus position, fists pressed together, and closed his eyes. No fear, no doubt. There was no room for such feelings when the truth swelled within him, bright as the sun: he was the Avatar, another link in the cycle, and all he had to do was reach out and claim what had always been part of him.

It was like coming home.

The Avatars took shape from the dust of memories, dressed in the colours of their birth element and forming a line that went on and on, seemingly endless. Their hands were linked and their faces turned towards him. Each one was smiling. At the end of the line, closest to him, Roku stood in his red robes.

"We have been waiting for you, Aang."

Tears spilled down Aang's cheeks. "Roku. I've missed you all so much. I thought I'd lost you forever."

"Never has the Avatar Cycle come so close to being broken. It hurt us to be unable to help you, yet we all believed you would find your way back to us."

"I'm sorry it took so long."

"There is no need to apologise. If anything, I should be the one apologising to you." Roku shook his head, his expression contrite. "Because of the choices I made during my lifetime, your time as Avatar has been one fraught with war and hardship. You see, Fire Lord Sozin was my best friend. If I had been more decisive and acted sooner, I could have stopped him and the war before it started. I am sorry, Aang. This should have never been your burden."

"It's okay. I've realised there's no point beating ourselves up about things we did or didn't do in the past. All we can do is try our best now, right?"

"Well said," Kyoshi praised from where she stood next to Roku. "No Avatar is perfect, just as no human is perfect. We each are born with our own strengths and weaknesses, and we will inevitably make mistakes." Her lips curved. "But that is why the Avatar Cycle is so important."

"It is?"

"The connection we share is an Avatar's greatest strength," Roku explained. "By calling upon those who came before you, you can access all our wisdom and power—hundreds and hundreds of gathered knowledge and skill."

Aang's eyes widened. He'd never thought of it like that. "Then … it's okay to ask for help?"

Roku blinked. "Why would you think it's not?"

"I just … I thought I was supposed to do this myself. The first trial was all about learning to walk on my own and—"

"You are the Avatar. You are meant to be a leader, a guide, a protector, and in that you must be able to stand on your own and make your own judgements. But that does not mean you cannot ask for help when you need it, especially not from your past lives." A warm smile. "We have all been in your shoes, Aang. We are here to assist you."

More tears spilled down his cheeks. "I really have missed you all."

Roku offered his hand. "Then join with us again. Let our connection be reforged."

Aang smiled mistily and grasped his hand. Power, familiarity, rightness—everything that had been missing slotted back into place. Every Avatar was him, had shared the same spirit as him, yet their lives, joys and struggles were all different. And that was how it was meant to be.

Roku nodded as if to say they'd meet again soon and then he and the other Avatars faded like ripples dissipating. Except Aang knew they were not gone. They remained within him, just as he knew he could call upon any of them if he truly wished.

His smile widened and he turned to Agni. "I did it."

"I knew you would." Agni spread its magnificent wings. "This may be the last time we meet in your lifetime, Avatar Aang, so allow me to give you one last piece of advice. Do not be afraid of your power. Just as fire can be destruction, it is also the heartbeat of life. Remember that you are in control. You decide how your powers will be used."

"I know. I won't hesitate anymore."

Aang knew what was at stake. He knew what had to be done.

oOo

Katara woke to Zuko's sleeping face, or at least what she could see of him through the veil of his hair. That was a first. Normally he was off doing meditation or training in the mornings. His arm was draped over her waist, loose and comfortingly warm. She was tempted to snuggle closer or brush the hair from his face, but she worried it would wake him. Unless he had exhausted himself through healing, he was like an alert polardog and tended to stir at any sound or touch.

She tucked her hands under her chin and tried to be as still as possible. He really did look cute when he slept—softer somehow, like all the cares had been smoothed out of him. It was nice. Being with him like this was nice, though it did occur to her that it was maybe a bit creepy to watch him sleep. They weren't dating and they were only sharing a bed because they had to pretend to be married.

She should probably stop.

His nose scrunched a little before sleepy gold gazed back at her. Heat spread over her cheeks. She tried her best to appear as if she had not been staring at him like a creeper.

"Hi," she murmured.

"Hi." He slow blinked at her a few times before he shot up into a sitting position. "Wait, what time is it?"

She stifled laughter with her hand. His hair was sticking up everywhere, though some strands were mushed to his cheek with what looked like traces of drool.

"What?" His brow furrowed. "What's so funny?"

"You."

He looked a bit offended.

"Relax. I think it's cute."

"Cute?" He pulled a face as if the word was even more of an offence.

When she explained he'd drooled in his sleep and his hair was a mess, he blushed and immediately tried to fix his appearance. Not that he did a good job. His hair was still trying to imitate a boarcupine.

She laughed and sat up. "Here, I'll fix it for you."

Zuko didn't resist. His hair was as soft and thick as ever, and her lips curved a little as she combed her fingers through the dark strands.

"What?" he said, tilting his head.

"Hm?"

"You're smiling." His eyes narrowed. "You're planning to do something to my hair, aren't you?"

"You don't trust me that much?"

"I've had unwanted haircuts before."

"Let me guess, your sister?"

"Who else?"

His tone was dry but his body was a bit too tense, like he really did think she was about to chop his hair off or something. That bothered her.

She let her fingers slip through his hair and clasped his face. "You don't have to worry with me, you know. I'll never do anything to you that you don't want. If you don't like something, if I ever make you uncomfortable, all you have to do is say the word and I'll stop."

His eyes widened in that vulnerable little way, as if he hadn't expected her to care about his comfort, let alone tell him that she did. Then awkwardness seemed to catch up with him and he pulled back from her touch and rubbed the base of his neck. "Sorry."

"What for?"

"Because I, uh … ruined the mood, I guess. You were trying to be nice before, and I got all paranoid and—"

"Hey, you didn't ruin anything, and you don't have to apologise either." Her lips curved. "The 'mood' is not more important than your feelings, okay? I want you to tell me this kind of stuff. I want you to be comfortable."

He stared at her with such wonder. It hurt. It hurt to think of what he'd been through to make him so dismissive of his feelings, so quick to be shocked when people cared. It wasn't right. But she was also painfully aware of the way he'd frozen the other night when she'd hinted they could kiss and find comfort in each other, of all the turmoil she'd seen in his eyes and how he hadn't said a thing. He hadn't resisted her at all. Yet when she'd given him an out, he'd almost crumpled in relief. That had been heartbreaking.

She didn't want him to feel like he couldn't say no to her. She didn't want him to feel like his consent somehow didn't matter if it went against what she wanted. His consent mattered. He mattered, and she wished she could get that into his head.

Holding his gaze, she took his hand and ran her thumb over his palm. "Is this okay?"

He nodded.

She reached up and trailed her fingers through his hair. "And this?"

Another nod.

Her breath ghosted over his cheek and she paused when her lips were a hairsbreadth from his skin so as to give no doubt of her intention. "And this?"

"Yes," he whispered.

She kissed his cheek, lingering a few heartbeats as she intertwined their fingers. The gentle squeeze he gave her hand was everything. Blood pounded in her ears, whispering for her to say more, do more. There was so much fluttering and humming inside her, so much that wanted to spill out. But she couldn't do that to him. It would defeat the whole point she was trying to make.

Under all that strength, stubbornness and impulsiveness, he was like delicate porcelain in her hands. He had even placed that porcelain in her hands. She knew now she could take from him what she wanted: kisses, more intimate touches—all it would require was a push on her part. But she didn't want to take. She never, ever wanted to do that to him.

If they were going to make this work, he had to be the one to initiate the next step. He had to want this just as much as her.

She burrowed her face into his shoulder, still holding his hand. There was no hesitation when his arm came around her and practically pulled her onto his lap so he could hold her close. So, so close. She could feel his heartbeat thudding like a steady drum, feel him nuzzle into her hair. It was the sweetest of torture.

"We should probably get dressed," he murmured. "We're supposed to choose our apprenticeships today, and I don't think the people here like to be kept waiting."

She hummed in agreement.

Seconds passed and neither of them moved. She smiled into his shoulder, pleased that he hadn't pulled away. Trying to understand the depth of his feelings was like trying to decode a cipher at times. The comb he'd gifted, the hugs, the blushes and little touches—they all meant something. But this right here was clear. This was a simple desire to stay close to her.

There was a thud at the door. "Get up!" Azula called. "Or at least make yourselves decent. Our friends have arrived."

Zuko blushed at the insinuation they'd been doing more than talking, but he didn't let go of Katara. Instead, he looked at her with eyes like soft, golden flames. "You ready to play married couple for the tribe again?"

"Are you?"

His thumb skimmed her cheek and he smiled shyly. "I don't mind. I'm kind of getting used to it."

Her eyes widened. He released her and moved to shrug on his overtunic and coat, leaving her sitting there with her mouth hanging open and her heart a fluttery mess.

What … what did that even mean?

"Wait." She scrambled to her feet and touched his arm. "What you just said, what—"

Another thud at the door.

Katara almost cursed. She did not need interruptions right now.

He picked up her tunic and handed it to her. "Here."

She took it distractedly.

"I'll go tell them you'll be out soon," he offered.

"Wait."

He glanced over his shoulder at her. Warmth spread on her cheeks and she found she couldn't get the words out. His brow was creased as if he was confused why she was even telling him to wait. It was obvious he had no idea of the effect his actions and words had just had on her.

Her shoulders slumped. "Never mind. Don't worry."

He left to go talk to Azula and the people who had come to collect them. Meanwhile, Katara stood in the bedroom and hit her palm to her forehead. No wonder she had so much trouble figuring out the true nature of his feelings. The boy she loved not only missed half her romantic cues but he was also oblivious enough to not notice when he made his own.

"This really is going to be torture, isn't it?" she muttered under her breath.

oOo

Fallen leaves crunched under Aang's feet and got snagged by strong gusts of wind. He was on a cliff. The land below seemed shrunken and endless, and all of it was coloured in reds, golds and browns.

"Autumn," he murmured. "Air."

This was the final element in the Avatar Cycle. Did that mean this was the end of his spirit journey?

A white tiger materialised out of a swirl of leaves at the edge of the cliff. It waited for him to approach, not giving so much as a twitch of its ears or tail. Everything about the spirit was calm.

"Greetings to you, Avatar," the spirit said in a feminine voice that was like an old oak and a gentle breeze in one. "It has been too long."

He blinked. "We know each other?"

"All of us spirits know you."

"Right. I guess you would since I'm the Avatar. Did you meet one of my past lives or something?"

"Indeed, but I knew you before you took up the role as the bridge between worlds." Her ancient eyes fixed upon him. "Once, young Avatar, you walked in this land as one of us."

His heart quickened and his mouth went dry. It was always a bit weird to be reminded that his spirit was, well, a reincarnated spirit who had taken human form. "What … what was I like back then?"

"Powerful. Wise. You were like our leader."

"I was?"

She nodded. "Long ago, this world was one of chaos and primordial power. Spirits and humans existed in one plane with no divide and many fought in an endless war. We spirits are powerful beings, but humans are resourceful and resilient. There were some who learnt how to bend energy as we spirits do, and they used that gift to fight back by forming bonds and manipulating the very essence that connects us all."

"You mean like fire healers?"

"The fire healing you know is just a remnant of that lost art. In our time, those humans were called energybenders."

Aang's brow creased as he mulled over this. "So, what happened then? What made it all stop?"

"You did. You saw the growing imbalance, you saw that humans would inevitably be destroyed, along with many spirits, and you did what was necessary to end the war. You created the veil to separate our worlds and chose to be reborn as the Avatar."

He sat down, legs too wobbly to hold him up. "I … I really did all that?"

It seemed impossible. He knew he was powerful when in the Avatar State, but to think he'd done all that. To think he'd had the courage.

"You believed there was no sacrifice too great. I'll admit that many of us spirits did not understand your decision then, but you have since proven the wisdom of your actions. By becoming the bridge between worlds, you have protected humans and spirits for millennia. You brought peace and balance to a world that had been on the brink of destruction."

He frowned at his hands. "But the world is imbalanced again now. Humans have been at war for a hundred years, and if I can't stop the Fire Lord before the end of summer, Roku said it will be too late."

"Yes. If the Fire Lord uses the comet and succeeds in his ambition, the wounds he will create will be too deep to heal. We spirits will not escape unscathed either."

"What do you mean?"

"Humans and spirits will always have an influence on each other. Even now when the veil separates our worlds, we still exist on the same plane. We still share one energy, one home. That is why the Avatar is so important."

"Because I'm the bridge?"

"Because you are human. We spirits do not change, do not grow. We cannot grasp what it means to be mortal. You became human because you realised that you needed to experience these things if you wanted to protect humanity and foster understanding between our worlds."

His frown deepened. "Wouldn't it have been easier if I was still a powerful spirit?"

"You are still powerful. Everything you were is still what you are. The only difference is that you wear a mortal shell." The white tiger smiled. "If anything, I believe that you are stronger now."

"How can you think that?"

"Because now you know what it means to feel joy and sadness, to love and hate. You know what it means to live with death on the horizon, and this human weakness has taught you the ugliness of humanity but also the beauty. It has taught you compassion."

He brought his knees up to his chest. "Compassion, huh?"

"It is your greatest strength, or so you told me once long ago."

They both fell silent. Aang looked out over the cliff to the distant valley below. Everything looked so small from up here.

"Air is the element of freedom," he mused. "The monks taught that I need to detach myself from the world if I want freedom. It's how people are meant to find true peace and happiness."

"Indeed."

"But the Avatar Spirit chose to be part of the human world. That's what you're saying, right?"

"Not exactly. The Avatar is the bridge between worlds. You are both human and spirit, and though you may experience life as any other human, your duty is still to maintain balance. In the end, you cannot be tied to any single nation, person or spirit."

He stood up. "I think I understand."

"Do you?"

"It's about making the tough decisions, right? I'm supposed to maintain balance, but that also means being the one to hand out justice and mercy. It means sacrifice, even the sacrifice of my own life if that's what it takes." He closed his eyes, swallowing against the lump in his throat. "If I'm too attached, a part of me will always hold back. I won't be able to do my duty."

"That is correct."

Tears rolled down his cheeks. "Okay. I get it. I get it now."

Something warm and furry bumped against his hand. He looked down in surprise to see the tiger nuzzling him.

"Your burden is indeed great, little one. But you are strong and you are brave. I see the conviction in your eyes. I do not believe you will fail."

His mouth curved into a sad smile. "It's not the thought of failure that scares me."

"I know."

Silence settled between them. Aang stood there and simply let the tears fall. Every part of his spirit journey had led him to this moment, this realisation. He understood what it meant to be the Avatar—more so than when he'd unlocked the chakras. He understood what was at stake and why he had to defeat Fire Lord Ozai. He understood everything.

But he still wished it didn't have to mean taking a life.

He still wished he could find another way.

"Perhaps there is another way."

Aang blinked and looked around. The landscape was fading, including the white tiger. Everything was turning to light.

"What?" He tried to shield his eyes from the glowing glare. "Who said that?"

"Come. I wait for you in the other world."

"Wait a minute. You're the one who guided me here. You called to me in my dream and guided me to that hole."

"Come."

"But I don't—"

The glare got brighter. Then he heard those two strange chimes and he was swallowed in light.

Again, just a reminder this was outlined pre-LoK and comics. I am well aware that what I've written here for the Avatar's origins, etc, is not canon.

There were other things I wanted to say about this chapter, particularly the Zutara scene, but it's 4:20am and I have to get up for work in three hours (ugh), so I'm gonna skip that.