Chapter Twenty-Two

It started out in 2010, with a pre-transition Chet standing outside of a very familiar building. His naturally blond hair was cut in a pixie style and dyed dark red. His cheeks were painfully sunken, his green eyes a mix of hope and dread. He flashed a nervous smile at the camera.

"So here I am, outside a brand-spankin'-new nightclub called Lux, about to audition for a guy named 'Lucifer.'" He laughed, and it held the same nervous quality as his smile. "That's his real name. No joke. Anyway, uh, wish me luck, and I'll see you on the other side." The whipping of wind against the microphone cut off and the picture went dark, but there were still eight-and-a-half minutes left on the video, so Chloe waited.

She hoped the remaining footage didn't chronicle what Chet had done at Lux after the auditions were over. Or rather, whom. Chloe knew for a fact that Lucifer had no problem with his lovers recording him during sex. Some of the men and women he'd slept with were hard-core exhibitionists. And he was all about giving people what they truly desired.

Then again, if this were about to turn into a Lucifer sex vid, it would be way longer than eight-and-a-half minutes. Chloe knew that for a fact, too. And from personal experience.

A new image appeared on the screen, and Chloe sat up straighter, scarcely breathing. Because this was clearly the "modified" part of the video. Chet was now post-transition—hair long and blond and pulled into a manly ponytail, cheeks a little fuller but nowhere near as healthy as they had been before Rose's death. The nervous laugh and smile were gone. Instead, Chet's green eyes held unshed tears, deep-rooted sadness, and a glint of steely resolve.

Chloe held her breath as Chet spoke into the camera:

"Hi, Mom. Um, I know I haven't called or emailed in a really long time." He blinked, fighting tears. "I'm so sorry for that. I promise I'll do better. It's just…something happened, and uh…ever since then, I haven't been so good, you know?" Chet gave a little laugh that reminded Chloe of the earlier part of the video. Then he took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Anyway, uh, I finally decided that I can't keep living how I've been living. Something needs to change. I need to change…And, uh, I wish I didn't have to hurt you and Dad and Chrissy in the process, but it's the only way."

Chet took another deep breath and looked straight into the camera. "You're going to read some things about me in the paper. Bad things. And I might be going to jail. I don't know for sure, yet. That's up to the police. But no matter what happens, no matter what the papers say, I wanted you to hear the story in my words. I wanted you to hear the truth, just once, from my lips, before all the lies start crowding in."

Chet inhaled and let the air out in a shuddering sigh. "Remember Rosie, the girl I tended bar with? The one who died? You only met her once, when you were in town visiting, but I bet you remember her. You were at the bar, waiting for my shift to finish up so we could go out. When Rosie noticed you waiting, she came over and brought you a Cherry 7Up, no charge. I'd mentioned to her once that it was your favorite drink, and she remembered. That's the kind of girl she was." His eyes flooded with tears. He sniffled and wiped them away.

"Anyway, uh, after she got killed, the police asked me and everyone else at Brimstone where we were that night, who we saw, what we were doing. I told them about working at the bar and then going to the movie with Keith…but I never told them what really happened in between."

Chet swallowed loudly, forcing himself to look at the camera, to meet his mother's eyes. "The truth is, just as I was getting off shift, Keith came into the stock room to get me. He said Rosie's boyfriend, Martin, was on the bathroom floor, too drunk to drive, and needed a ride home. Keith already had Martin's keys, but he needed my help getting him into the car."

Chet licked his lips. They looked chapped and raw, like he'd licked them a million times over the past several months. "When we got to the bathroom, Martin was full-on passed out. I was worried, but Keith said he would be fine. We just needed to get him home and Rosie would take care of him. So I helped Keith carry him to the car and shove him in the passenger seat. It took every bit of muscle we had. Martin was dead weight. Keith already had the car running and the heat blasting to help Martin wake up, but it didn't seem to be doing much good.

"Anyway, uh, Keith drove the car to Martin's apartment and I followed in my truck so Keith would have a way to get back to the bar. We stopped outside the parking structure and Keith told me not to follow him in, to just keep my truck running and stay out on the street. I thought it was weird. I was like, 'Don't you need my help getting him up to the apartment?' But Keith said Rosie would help him. He'd already talked to her and she was coming down and she didn't want any more people there than necessary because Martin would already be embarrassed enough when he woke up."

Chet scrubbed at his face, smearing tears on his cheeks. "It still seemed a little off, but I didn't have any reason to think anything bad was going down. So I just kind of shrugged and did what Keith said. I waited in my truck, listening to tunes and scribbling lyrics for a new song I was working on. I got so caught up in composing, I didn't even realize how much time had passed." Chet gave the camera a watery smile. "You know how I get when I'm writing. 'Lost to the world,' as you always say."

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, um, when Keith finally knocked on the window, I caught sight of the time and realized he'd been in the there for over half an hour. I asked him what happened. He just said that everything was fine, but it was an ugly scene. He said that when Martin woke up, Rosie laid into him for drinking and they started fighting. Like, really bad fighting. Keith said he was glad to get out of there. I started to drive him back to the bar, but he wanted to go see a movie instead. He seemed really upset about the whole thing with Martin and Rosie, and I didn't have any plans with Brian that night, so I said okay.

"I didn't find out about Rosie until the next afternoon. I couldn't—" Chet's voice broke. "I couldn't believe she was dead. Everyone was already saying that Martin did it. Even that first day. I was just in shock. I didn't even know what to think. Then the police started questioning everyone at Brimstone. But before I could give my statement, Keith cornered me in the stock room. He said not to tell anyone about putting Martin in the car and driving him home."

Chet shook his head. "I thought he was joking at first. Like some bad, sick joke. Then I looked in his eyes, and they were so dead serious. He was really telling me to lie to the police in a murder investigation. Rosie's murder investigation. I flat-out told him he was crazy. I started to leave the room and he grabbed me and shoved me against the wall. I actually felt the glass on the fire extinguisher case crack behind me—that's how hard he pushed me. Then Keith leaned right in my face and swore that if I ever told the police—or anyone—about taking Martin home that night, he was going to send a mass email to Dad's whole congregation about Dad having a gay, trans son."

Tears flowed freely down Chet's face now. He didn't try to stop them. "Dad's never really understood the choices I made in my life, but he always loved me. Always supported me. I didn't want to ruin his life. I convinced myself it didn't matter that we drove Martin home, or that Keith saw Rosie and Martin fighting before we left. That's just more evidence that Martin did it, right? And he got convicted, so it all worked out."

There was a certain look people got in their eyes, when they were lying to themselves and they knew it. Chloe had seen it dozens of times in the interrogation room. Chet had that look now.

"But then Martin got sentenced to death. And Keith started watching me like a hawk at work, like he was still afraid I'd tell, even after all this time. I even caught him trying to snoop on my phone once. And I kept thinking, what is he hiding? We were at the movies when she died. Keith never left the theatre, and that's the truth. Everything was the truth, except the part we left out. I just couldn't figure out what he was so afraid of, what he was trying to cover up."

Chet took a deep, shuddering breath. "And then I finally realized—it's not my job to figure it out. It's my job to tell the police the truth. The whole truth. Just like I should've done in the beginning. And maybe it means nothing. Or maybe it means everything. All I know is, I can't let a man die when the judge and jury didn't even have all the facts."

Chet sniffled loudly. "So, um, I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I lied. You and Dad taught me better." Fresh tears streamed down his cheeks and he wiped them away. "Please tell Dad I'm sorry about his congregation. I'm sorry about everything, but I know he's strong enough to get through this. We all are. I should've known that from the beginning."

In the background of the video there was a knocking sound. Chet turned to look behind him, then faced the camera again. "I'm going to do what's right, Mom. What you taught me. I'm sorry it took me so long." The knocking came again, more insistent. "I love you." Chet reached out for the camera, and the screen went dark.

A few seconds later, a smiling image of a red-haired, pre-transition Chet appeared, standing in front of Lux. A circular arrow on the screen gave the option to replay the video.

Chloe sniffled and wiped her face clean.

"He never went to the police," Bethany said softly. "Or sent the video to his mother."

"Must've lost his nerve," Chloe murmured, still staring at Chet's picture on the screen. At a ghost. But the words didn't ring true, even as Chloe said them. Chet didn't seem like someone about to lose his nerve. He seemed like a man who'd finally found it.

Chloe shook her head. It didn't matter. Not right now. There were still thirty-six minutes on the clock, and they had what they needed. She looked at the ceiling.

"You got what you wanted, Bethany. We found a break in your son's case." Chloe's voice wavered as she went on, "We did everything you asked of us. Now, please, let me go, before…" She shot a glance at Lucifer's deathly pale face. Her eyes flooded. "Before it's too late."

Chloe held her breath, directing all of her hope, her prayers, her love at the twinkling lights overhead.

There was a long beat of silence. Then the speakers crackled.

"I'm sorry," Bethany said. "It's not enough."