The three weeks since the wedding had flown by, his parents had decided to forgo a honeymoon as both of them said they were too busy and Peter couldn't help but be relieved. He saw his parents' multiple times a week and he was sure he would find it difficult being away from them for a week or two. As selfish as it sounded a honeymoon would have been difficult for him to cope with, he texted his dad multiple times a day, he was sure the man wouldn't want to be annoyed in such a way on his honeymoon…but then again he always said Peter could never annoy him, so maybe not. He wasn't sure why he was so clingy, when he had voiced the question to his Aunt she had said it wasn't anything to worry about it was just the way he was but he couldn't help but be embarrassed by it at times.
"Peter, do you want to come over? We still haven't finished the Millennium Falcon set I got for my birthday."
Startled from his thoughts by his best friends voice Peter shrugged and agreed, he was going back to Queens today so he didn't really have any plans and he hadn't been to Ned's house in a while, as great as working in the labs and hanging out in the tower was sometimes he just wanted to hang out and do normal teen stuff with his friend. "I'll just text May, I'll have to be home for dinner though." Ned nodded excitedly at his words with a grin spreading from ear to ear, soon enough the school bus reached the closest stop to Ned's and both boy's jumped off eagerly discussing their predictions for the still untitled Star Wars film.
Peter had been going to Ned's house for years to hang out, it was larger than his own apartment not to mention in a much safer neighbourhood. Ned's mom hadn't even allowed Ned to visit Peter's until the year before, so naturally Ned's house had been like a second home to Peter…well until he met Tony now it was like his third home but still.
Peter sat down on the rug on Ned's floor in the same spot he had every other time he visited. He liked the familiarity of it, he and Ned always sat in the same spots when building Lego and he was sure at this point if that changed it would be too uncomfortable for them to concentrate.
In mere minutes the two boys settled into their usual rhythm and although sitting in silence were able to comfortably work together in a way only years of doing so would allow. After fifteen minutes or so Ned broke the silence between the two hesitantly asking "what's it like having your life change so dramatically all at once? You know you went from dumpster diving for old DVD players to spending time in Tony Starks lab and calling him dad."
Peter looked at his friend for a moment as he contemplated how to respond. He had never stopped to think about it really, he just went along with all the changes believing it easier to accept the changes in his life. "Well…" he started licking his lips nervously "it's hard to explain, it's bizarre. But my life has always been a bit like that, first my parents left me at my Aunt and Uncles so they could go on a trip and never returned. So that changed my life overnight you know, I went from a normal kid to an orphan overnight. Ben and May hadn't wanted kids and suddenly there I was, they had no idea what to do, the first year or so was tough, we all had to get used to a life we never expected. They couldn't afford to send me to therapy or anything and I don't think it was a very relatable issue for them to discuss with their friends."
Ned nodded as his friend spoke. Peter didn't often open up emotionally so the odd time that he did he tried not to interrupt lest his friend close himself up again.
"Then for a few years everything was fine until I got bitten by that Spider, that changed everything but I couldn't tell anyone so again I just rolled with it, there was nothing I could do, it's not like there's a secret club for people going through that?" Peter said with a sad laugh. "Then…well then Ben died and we grieved but then money became such a huge issue we couldn't dwell on his death, we had to make ends meet so we just continued on as always. So I suppose I'm maybe just used to huge life changes. None of them have been particularly enjoyable up until meeting dad and everything…it's almost as if I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. The Parker luck will have to strike some time after all." Peter looked down and swallowed around a lump in his throat suddenly uncomfortable after baring his soul in such a way even if it was to his best friend.
Ned nodded, he had been beside Peter ever since they met and knew his life was difficult, he deserved some happiness, he could only hope Peter was wrong about the Parker luck. Sensing the sudden tension in the air Ned effortlessly changed the topic and smiled as Peter visibly relaxed.
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Time seemed to fly by every time they hung out together Peter mused. He felt bad when he first became Spiderman he had neglected his friendship with Ned, looking back on that time he was ashamed of himself. Ned had always stood by him, when he had no friends in elementary school, when he was beaten up by Flash in middle school and when he lost Ben in high school. Once his dad became more involved in his life he had told Peter he had to allow himself to be a normal teenager as well as a superhero. He told him time and time again Peter Parker should always come before Spiderman, from then on he always made sure to make time for his best friend. His dad had told him how important it was not to isolate himself as he may wake up one day and find he had no one left, that he had driven them away. Just remembering that conversation made Peter shiver, Tony had looked almost haunted as he spoke to Peter that day in the lab, as if the man was speaking about himself rather than a hypothetical future Peter.
Peter's musings were interrupted by a knock at the door, he lifted his head to see who was there and was unsurprised to see Ned's little sister peering round it.
"Ugh, what do you want? I told you not to bother us unless it was time for dinner Jasmine." Ned sighed, his little sister always interrupted them, she was only seven but her crush on Peter was embarrassing and she stuck to him like glue whenever he was round. He had to bribe her with the promise of ice cream to get her to stay away.
Peter smiled sadly at the siblings in front of him, he often wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister. He watched as they bickered, it happened almost every time he came over, it always made him laugh that Ned and his sister acted like five year olds as soon as they disagreed on something. Well he could excuse Jasmine she was a child but seeing Ned lose ten years to argue with his sister always made him laugh. His thoughts were interrupted by Ned suddenly shooting to his feet.
"Peter, it's already twenty past eight."
Peter paled slightly as he snatched his bag from the floor and pulled his trainers back on. Dinner was always at half past seven. Whether he was in Queens or the Tower dinner was at half seven on the dot, May and Tony had decided Peter needed a routine…even the thought made him roll his eyes, he wasn't five he didn't need a routine…but anyway dinner was at half past seven and if he was late he was grounded from patrol the next day. With a shouted goodbye to Ned and his family and a promise to Mrs Leeds to visit again soon he sprinted outside and ran out onto the street. The spider bite may not have given him super speed but it had improved his stamina and reflexes so sprinting back to his apartment without running into anyone was easy and he made the trip in less than ten minutes.
He felt a shiver run down his spine as he entered his building, his spidey sense was silent though so he simply shrugged it off and ran up the stairs to his apartment, once he reached the landing he gave the front door a push and frowned as it refused to move. If the door was locked clearly May wasn't home she never locked the door when waiting for Peter to get home, so where was she? Was she looking for him? Peter fished his phone out his pocket as he unlocked the door and let himself into the apartment to find it as he suspected, empty. He had no missed calls or texts from her which was weird, usually when he was late she would call and demand he come home. He looked up as he walked into the apartment proper and was shocked to see no sign of May, usually she would put her bag down next to the door when she came home from work but it wasn't there. Had she stayed on at work for some reason? Pressing the home button on his phone and refreshing his messages he frowned once more as he saw he had no messages or missed calls, that was strange if May wasn't going to be home on time she would definitely tell him. He shrugged, maybe her phone was dead. He had been planning on going out as Spiderman tonight but it seemed wrong to go out without seeing May first so he made his way to the kitchen and made himself a quick sandwich before throwing himself down in front of the TV to wait for his Aunt.
After an hour he checked his phone again and decided he should maybe give her a call. He dialled the familiar number and held his breath as it rang, waiting for her to pick up. He began to pace as the phone rang unable to sit still.
"Hello." Peter almost dropped the phone as it was picked up on what must have been the final ring. He took his phone from his ear and looked at the screen, he had definitely called May, so why was it not May that picked up?
"Hello" The voice repeated pulling Peter back into the room. "Is anyone there? Peter?"
"I'm Peter, who is this?"
"I'm Dr Woods from Flushing Hospital Medical Center."
Peter quickly ran the name through his mind, it wasn't the hospital May worked at so why did a doctor from there answer his Aunt's phone? "Sorry, why do you have my aunt's phone? Where is she?" Peter asked voice rising as he began to panic.
"This is your Aunt's phone? Do you know the details of her next of kin?"
Peter's heart sunk at her words, "I am, I'm her next of kin. Why? What's wrong?"
"There has been an incident, can you make your way to Flushing Hospital Medical Center sir?"
"Ummm yeah I'll be there in ten minutes." Peter replied as he hung up the phone. He knew it would take much longer to get there if he walked or even if he took a taxi so he pulled his suit on and practically leapt out the window with his clothes in a backpack. He didn't think he'd ever swung anywhere quite as fast as he was making his way to the hospital now.
In what was really no time at all but seemed to Peter like an age he arrived just around the corner and dropped into an alley to change out of view of those on street. Hopping on one foot as he pulled his trainer's back onto his feet he rushed out the alley his bag bouncing on his back as he sprinted through the doors of the emergency department easily dodging round people.
His shoes squeaked as he stopped suddenly in front of the desk making the receptionist look up from her computer screen irritably barely containing her sigh. Peter took an involuntary half step back as she spoke thrusting a form towards him "if you're not dying here's a form, fill it in. Bring it back. Wait in line."
"I was told there had been an incident, my Aunt's here." Peter said stumbling over his words in an effort to get them out as fast as possible lest she start berating him for wasting her time or something.
"Name?" the receptionist asked looking back towards her computer.
"May Parker."
"Fifth floor room 105." Peter takes off running as soon as she speaks, he's both eager to see his aunt and find out what the hell is going on and also get away from the irritated receptionist. He takes the stairs two at a time ignoring the grumbling of those around him and easily finds the room he's looking for. As he approaches a man exits the room with a clipboard in his hand looking tired.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for my Aunt, I was told she's in there. Can you tell me anything? I'm Peter."
"Peter, have you got anyone with you? Your uncle perhaps?"
Peter shook his head at the doctor's question, "no it's just me and May sir."
The doctor took a breath to steady himself before he spoke to the teenager, "Your Aunt was involved in an accident, she was hit by a car on what we assume was her way home from work."
"Oh my god. Is she okay? Can I see her?"
Peter watched as the man's face tightened, and he could hardly contain a flinch as he put a hand on his shoulder. "Peter, you should maybe take a seat." He said as he propelled Peter in the direction of a small office across the corridor as the teen's feet seem unable to move.
Once he's seated Peter took a breath and looked at the doctor opposite him.
"Peter. I need you to understand. An ambulance was called immediately and your Aunt was taken here but her injuries are too serious, there's nothing we can do now but make her comfortable, I'm sorry."
Peter gasped at his words and clenched his hand into s first his nails digging into his palms in an attempt to ground himself. "Will she be okay though?" he asks sounding much younger than he is as he almost begs the doctor to lie to him, he already knows from the man's expression what his answer will be however.
Instead of answering immediately the doctor asked, "Peter. Is there anyone we can call? Does someone else live with you and your Aunt?"
"It's just me, I'm all she's got." He said shaking his head as he barely held back his tears.
"Peter she has hours at most. I'm sorry." He is almost glad the man didn't beat around the bush and Peter simply nodded numbly allowing the doctor to guide him into May's room.
"I want to be alone with her. To…to say goodbye."
"Of course, just press this button if you need anything."
Peter nodded mechanically barely registering his words. As soon as the door closed behind the doctor he burst into tears unable to hold them back at the sight of his aunt. She looked frail in the hospital bed with tubes all over her and the beeping of machines disrupting his senses. Her face was bruised, and he couldn't help but stare at the bandages around her head. He gripped her hand in his just as she always did when he was sick. He heard his phone beep in his pocket but turned it off without looking at it, he didn't want to speak to anyone right now, it was probably just Ned sending him a meme or something anyway. His sobs soon died down as he ran out of tears to cry climbed onto the bed next to May careful to avoid the wires and tubes, he held her tight as if doing so would prevent the inevitable but he knew that nothing could be done.
"I love you May. I don't know what to do. If I could take your place I would. I would May. I'm sorry. I should have been there…" Peter rambled quietly into her ear as he began to sob once more.
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About half an hour later Peter was drawn from the light doze he slipped into by a commotion outside the door of May's room. He stiffened and pulled May in tighter to his body unconsciously as the door was almost thrown open.
Tony stopped in his tracks as soon as he could see into the hospital room. Peter was lying on the bed next to his Aunt holding her close, he could barely see his son's face but his hitched breathing made it clear the boy was crying and probably had been for a while. He had come as quickly as he could once FRIDAY had alerted him that Peter had been in a hospital for more than half an hour. He had of course texted and then called the boy but when he didn't receive a response he rushed over, he been gobsmacked when he arrived and found out it was May in trouble and not his son. Well trouble was too light a word really, she looked horrendous and her breathing was uneven even with the help of a machine. He had had to hack into the computer system to find out what room May was in as the staff refused to tell a non-family member where she was.
"Excuse me sir. You need to leave. Family only. I will call security if you don't leave sir. You can't be interrupting this boy."
Peter looked up as the doctor from before spoke and his eyes immediately fell on his dad standing in the doorway stubbornly ignoring the doctor demanding he leave.
"I'm his dad, I am family."
At Tony's words the doctor looked at the teen on the bed raising an eyebrow. "Peter, I don't care if this is Tony Stark if he is lying I can make him leave."
Peter smiled sadly at the doctor's words, the fact a man who had never met him would go against Iron Man so he could be with his Aunt in her final moments was admirable. "It's fine doctor, he is my dad. It's okay he can stay. Thank you though."
With those words the doctor simply nodded and left after reminding Peter to ring if he needed anything.
As soon as his dad sat down on a chair next to the bed Peter practically leapt off the bed to hug him. He sniffled as his dad pulled him tight against his chest and rested his chin on the top of his head. It was a familiar gesture and Peter let himself relax into his embrace as he sobbed for what would soon be the loss of another family member.
After an hour or so Pepper arrived and moved a couch from the corner to next to May's bed allowing Peter to curl up between his parents but still hold his Aunt's hand. The three sat in complete silence comfortable to be in each other's presence. Peter was unsurprised when Pepper fell asleep she had flown back from Miami as soon as Tony had called with the news about May.
Peter was also exhausted it was now two am but he was afraid to fall asleep. He was thankful his mum and dad had arrived, he hadn't been in the right frame of mind to even think about calling them, for once he was glad Tony was such a helicopter parent who tracked almost his every move. Suddenly he felt the hand in his own twitch slightly and he looked up in amazement eyes wide.
May let out a few shuddering breaths as she whispered "I love you Peter, never forget. I love you." Peter stood up, his rapid movement unsettling Pepper and waking her, he knew that was it but he still felt his heartbreak when his Aunt didn't take another breath after that.
As soon as Peter stood Tony did alongside him and when his son let out a strangled sob he pulled him tight against his chest once more allowing the boy to seek comfort from him. He did not know how long he stood there but he didn't move until he felt Peter slump against it, he had cried himself to sleep. He moved carefully to place the boy down on the couch draping his own jacket over him and kissing his forehead so he could turn to face May once more.
"May, I'll live up to my promise, of course. It's strange you know…I thought you would hate me. I was sure you would. I put your nephew in danger in Berlin and allowed it to continue but you gave me a son. You gave me the greatest gift. I will do all I can for him. Thank you May."
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The first few days after May's death were a blur to Peter. Uncle Rhodey and Bruce had offered to make all the funeral arrangements and he couldn't have been more relieved. He knew he was unable to make those decisions himself but he had been afraid his mom or dad would offer which would have taken one or both of them from Peter's side even if only for short amounts of time. He had hardly been left alone since Tony and Pepper had arrived at the hospital, he supposed they were worried he would wallow in his grief if left to his own thoughts for too long.
Then a week after May's passing was the funeral. It was even harder than Ben's had been, this time there was no May to accept the condolences of family friends so Peter stood at the entrance of the church with his dad thanking people for coming. Sure, Tony had offered to do it alone so Peter wouldn't have to but he hadn't wanted to leave his dad's side. It was an irrational worry he knew that but still he wanted one or both of his parents with him at all times. Other's said it had been a lovely service but Peter couldn't appreciate that, he was the only Parker left now and still hadn't fully accepted it until the service. He knew intellectually he was but it wasn't until he watched as May's coffin was lowered into the ground that he finally accepted she would not be coming back.
Even a week after the funeral never felt hungry and only ate when he was told he couldn't leave the table until he had cleared his plate. It was as if life was moving in slow motion but also faster than it ever had. The first week he had cried all the time, every time he was reminded of May he would start sobbing but soon he ran out of tears. He tried to take each day at a time but it seemed reminders of his Aunt were everywhere, if he sat in front of the TV with Tony he couldn't remember what they watched all he could remember was the hundreds of times he sat with May and watched movies. When Pepper kissed his forehead when he walked into the kitchen for breakfast he would remember how May used to do the same when he left the apartment for school.
Tony was worried. Peter was obviously grieving but he really was not coping. He had hardly said a word since May's death and it had been two weeks. The boy picked at his food and hardly slept, the bags below his eyes which had finally faded had returned three times worse than before. Tony didn't know what to do, Nat had recommended he give the boy time, she said Peter would come to him, but he didn't seem to want to share his feelings. Tony had offered to tinker in the lab with him but Peter refused, he had asked if he wanted to patrol but he hadn't wanted to. He was lost. After his offer of training was turned down Tony knew he had to call in the big guns. Ned.
Ned was surprised when his phone rang. Who even phones someone in 2018? Texts did enough. It was even stranger that he didn't recognise the number but he muted the TV and picked up anyway, it could be important. "Hello?"
"Hello is this Ned, it's Tony?" Ned almost dropped his phone in shock as a familiar voice spoke down the phone. Like sure he had spoken to Tony before, even been to his penthouse, the memory of Pepper finding out Tony let Ned visit when Peter was grounded still brought a smile to the teens face, but even so speaking to Tony Stark himself was still surreal.
"Yes, how did you get my number? How's Peter? He hasn't called at all. I thought I should give him space but…" Ned trailed off nervously.
"I'm Tony Stark. Not good. Yeah let's maybe cut out the giving him space thing, he needs help but won't let me or Pepper. You were there after Ben died, do you know anything that might help?"
Ned thought back to Ben's death nearly two years before and shuddered. Peter had been a mess, hardly eating, hardly sleeping, and nearly killing himself patrolling all the time. "I don't really think he did get out of his funk until he met you Mr Stark…" Ned said eventually breaking the silence. "I don't really know what to tell you, have you thought about maybe getting him some help? After his parents died he did go to counselling funded by the school for a little while but once that was over he never went back, May and Ben couldn't afford it and May certainly couldn't after Ben's death."
Tony nodded then hummed in agreement upon realising Ned couldn't see him. "That's a good idea, thanks Ned. I'll call someone. How about you come over tomorrow sometime? Peter needs company his own age, he isn't ready for school quite yet." After another five minutes or so he let Ned go and made his way to his son's room for a chat.
When Tony opened the door he didn't lay eyes on Peter immediately and if he hadn't already asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. where the boy was he wouldn't have thought he was in the room at all. "Peter?" He almost jumped out his skin when he got a mumbled response from above him. Looking up he saw some sort of hammock made of webbing, the same one he had seen Peter and Nat in months before in fact, inside the quasi-cocoon was his son. "Pete can you come down? We need to chat." Moving across to sit on the boys bed, he sat up against the headboard with his legs outstretched and was totally unsurprised when the boy dropped down and cuddled up next to him silently. He started to card his finger through the kid's hair absently in an effort to both soothe Peter and relax himself. "Peter, I think you maybe need some help." He felt the body next to him stiffen but continued to silently run his fingers through the boy's curls until he relaxed again. "Pete…the way you are coping isn't healthy. May wouldn't want this, you need to live your life."
Peter nodded sadly at his dad's words. Logically he knew May wouldn't like what he was doing but he couldn't bring himself to do anything. "It's like I'm stuck…nothing holds any enjoyment, it's like I'm here but I'm not…I'm scared dad."
Tony's heart broke at his son's confession. "Peter…you would tell me if you had bad thoughts wouldn't you?" He looked worriedly at his son, terror suddenly coursing through his body at the thought of losing his soon. When the boy didn't answer he repeated the question but only relaxed minutely when the boy nodded. He mentally noted to programme his AI to inform him should Peter try to hurt himself in any way.
"I don't want to see a therapist dad. It's weird. I'm a superhero. You don't go to one, Uncle Rhodey doesn't, mum doesn't. I don't need to."
"Peter…listen superhero's need help too sometimes. Rhodey does go to a psychiatrist, he has done since he got injured, losing the use of his legs was traumatic, just as May's passing is for you. And Pep she went to a therapist for months after the Mandarin incident."
"You still don't go dad. Why should I?" Peter said stubbornly as he looked up at his dad.
Tony sighed, Pep was always telling him to lead by example when it came to Peter, he had started sleeping more in an attempt to encourage Peter to adopt a healthy sleep pattern, he had even started to wear goggles every time he entered the lab! He hadn't worn goggles in the lab since he was about fourteen. "Peter, if I see a therapist will you? I'll find us both a therapist first thing tomorrow but you have to promise me to give it a shot. Not everyone finds the right one straight away but that's okay. We can keep looking until we find the right person." When Peter murmured an agreement he placed a kiss on the boy's curls and pulled him in tighter. "Love you spiderbaby."
"Love you too dad."