A/N: So I know that's been a while since I've updated. Since I've been going to this new school, I've experienced a major culture shock by actually having to do homework almost every night. Anyways, due to numerous requests to continue on, I have finally found time in my busy schedule to update It's Nothing Personal Honey. Now let's do this.

Disclaimer: Fuck you mean? I don't own Naruto.

Chapter 14: Nothing Ever Goes as Planned

A few hours earlier at Club Shuriken…

Three rather shady looking gentlemen are sitting at a booth not too far from the bar. They are all dressed in black leather pants with matching jackets. Each wears a pair of black sunglasses to add to their mysterious appearances. The two slightly more manic of the trio sat together making small talk, while there obviously uncomfortable ginger counterpart sat across from them. Trying to block out the duo's conversation, shifting from AK47's to their favorite porn stars, the ginger started to scope out the club like he and his partners were supposed to be doing. He didn't spot anything too suspicious amongst the scene of party goers and groupies until a commotion erupted over by the bar. He instantly noticed the two security guards who were standing over by the VIP entrance rush to the fallen man's aid. In all the ruckus no one noticed two scantily dressed women rush into the VIP entrance.

A distraction huh? Pretty clever. Thought Sasori as he stared at Deidara and Hidan who craned their necks to see what all the fuss was about. "I think we may have found two of our trifling tramps." Sasori then gestured with his neck to the VIP entrance that was left unguarded. "Maybe you two should follow."

"Welp it was time that I got some action." Hidan stood up and stretched his limbs and pushed in his chair motioning for Deidara to get up. "Well, what are you waiting for Dei? Let's get a move on." Even though they were to go as a pair, Hidan darted off barely giving his blonde friend time enough to get out of his seat. By the time Deidara was on his feet, Hidan had already made his way behind the velvet curtains.

"I suppose I should follow him. Hidan never makes the right decisions when it comes to handling women." The blonde laughed as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, yeah well make sure Mr. Macabre there doesn't overdo it. We are still trying to keep a low profile." Deidara gave Sasori one of his signature smiles that could charm the pants off a conman.

"Don't worry if anyone can handle Hidan it's me." Turning on his heel, Deidara walked a couple of steps and looked back to see that Sasori was still seated. "You not coming?"

The ginger in question picked up his glass and begin nursing his half-empty sake. "Go on without me. I already have a woman who seems to have caught my eye." Sasori didn't fail to notice the sexy blonde who hadn't accompanied the two women whom she'd been sitting with into the VIP entrance. Instead, she began walking to the part of the club that contained the hibachi grill and sushi buffet. Sasori recalled that was where Choji Akimichi was supposed to be showcasing his latest dish.

Deidara shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself. Don't be afraid to message me if anything goes down." With that remark, the blonde ran past the velvet curtains to catch up with his irrational counterpart.

With those two gone, the redhead stood up and casually made his way past the bar and let the aroma of fried zucchini and onions guide his way to the hibachi grill. Once there, he saw Mr. Akimichi himself sitting on a nearby ottoman talking to the blonde woman who he suspected was the cause commotion back at the bar. Sasori causally took a seat on a plush chair in the corner of the room that was next to an aquarium that was reflecting a series of strobe lights, not taking his eyes off the couple. He watched keenly as the blonde sensually placed her hand on Choji's lap never breaking eye contact while the chubby chef blushed furiously. Sasori nearly vomited in his mouth.

If that woman thinks that she works her herself into his pants and then his wallet she has another thing coming!

"Hurry up Deidara I saw them go this way." Hidan was walking at a brisk pace with no intention of slowing down to wait for his wheezing partner. The tired blonde tried to keep up, but he couldn't match Hidan's long strides.

"I'm walking as fast as I can." Deidara huffed. "Keep your voice down we don't want those bimbos to hear us!"

"Oh don't get a hard-on Dei. If there was one thing I learned from being in and out of the Shinjuku Correctional facility, it was how to be a creep and how to turn a turkey bone into a dagger." Hidan slowed his pace but kept moving forward.

Deidara rolled his eyes and snorted. Well, at least he had something to keep him occupied. Just as they were about to round the next corner, Deidara heard voices and tugged on Hidan's jacket.

"The fuc-" Hidan yelled before Deidara slapped his left palm over the murderer's mouth before another word could be said. Using all of his might, the blonde pulled his much heavier partner to the nearest wall, not once letting his fingers slip. Hidan was mumbling several profanities behind Deidara's fingers and was about to throw a fit before the latter held a finger to his lips and peered behind the corner. His eyes met two security guards standing on either side of a black curtain. One was on the slim side with pale green hair and a curly mustache while his chubby counterpart was slightly tan with a beard as black as the night sky. Sweat started manifest on the back of the blonde spy's neck.

What the Hell are they doing here? Aren't they supposed to be inside the lounge? Before Deidara could ponder how they were supposed to get rid of them, the blonde was pushed away from the corner and thrown to the ground by his convict associate. Deidara's startled yet confused glare met Hidan's furious one.

Right before Hidan could raise Hell, Deidara pointed to the corner and gestured for Hidan to look around it. Biting his tongue Hidan stomped over and snapped his neck to get a better view of what had his partner so shaken. When he saw the two guards he simply shook his head and looked back at Deidara that was still on the ground giving him an annoyed look.

And he was freaked about those two bozos? I could take both of them out with my eyes closed. Not bothering to wait for Deidara, or even help him up, Hidan stormed around the corner in the direction of the two security guards. His partner scrambled to his feet and ran after him.

Oh, shit shit shit. What is that idiot doing?! When those two guards see us were going to be- "Ooof!" Hidan had stopped abruptly about two paces in front of the men who were guarding the VIP entrance and it barely fazed him when Deidara ran into his back. After detaching himself from Hidan's backside, Deidara stood beside his partner started thinking about how he should explain their current situation to the obviously upset guards. However, before he could open his mouth, Hidan beat him to the punch.

"So how about you two let us through?" Hidan stared dead into the eyes of the heavier guard whose aura radiated anger. Hidan did not notice it.

"We will let you through as soon as we see a VIP ID." The fat man stated tartly. He turned his head to Deidara. "From both of you."

"How'd you two even get back here anyway?" The slim man pondered. "Natsu and Po should have met you guys at the staircase and told us that you were coming."

Those must have been the two guards that left their post to tend to the passed out guy. Deidara took a deep breath. "Well you see fellas, we actually don't have any passes to get into the lounge. We are just looking for to friends of ours who seem to have gotten accidentally lost and went down this way." Deidara saw Hidan give him a questioning look from the corner of his eye but Deidara ignored it.

The skinny man arched one of his thin eyebrows and raised an arm to scratch his head. "The only two people who came down this way were two ladies who managed to sneak their way into the lounge. We were going to escort them out but did not want to upset Mr. Uchiha and Uzumaki. Once we were notified from the security video room, me and Jeff here stepped outside to prevent anybody else from getting through." The bearded guard sucked in his stomach and puffed out his chest to try to assert his authority, however, he made himself look like a penguin trying to take a dump. Hidan was about to burst out in laughter as tears filled his ducts before Deidara slapped him on the back. Quickly regaining his composer, the ex-con coughed into his fist and turned to speak to the other flushed man who was embarrassed by his partner's idiocy.

"Look, we don't want any trouble we just want to find our friends."

"Well, like Ike said, the only people who came down here were those two women from earlier. Now if you are mixed up with those two, then you two could help us search for them, but then all four of you would end up getting kicked out."

"Of the VIP lounge?"

"No out of the Club Shuriken." Before Hidan could protest, Jeff held up his hand. "Sorry, but thems the rules."

Ike then looked at Hidan very closely and squinted his eyes. "Hey don't I know you from somewhere?"

Hidan's voice got caught in his throat. "U-u-um you must have me confused with someone else."

"No, I'm pretty sure I've seen you somewhere before." Ike started tapping his foot and used his left hand to tap his chin. "Now where was it?"

Oh shit! Deidara could have choked on his own tongue then and there whereas Hidan looked like he was about to shit a brick. There has got to be out of-

Buzz…Buzz….

The vibration of his cell phone nearly scared the blonde right out of his skin. Jeff and Ike were equally as alarmed when they saw Deidara jump, while Hidan looked relieved now that the deafening silence had ended.

"Heh heh, excuse me for a minute." Deidara quickly took out his cellphone and spoke quietly into the receiver being mindful to watch what he said.

"Hello….Oh Shizuki it's you! Is Kane with you? He is? Sano and I here will meet you two outside. See you there!" Hanging up his phone, Deidara grabbed Hidan's arm and callously started dragging him off in the opposite direction of the VIP lounge.

"We found our two friends. Both of them have massive hangovers and need to be driven home. Thanks for the help though." Before they could be questioned further, Deidara ran off with Hidan who was trying to regain his footing.

While Jeff looked dumbfounded and opted to chase after the two, Ike discouraged him saying that it would serve no purpose.

"Something is up with those two hooligans and it doesn't sit right with me," Jeff grumbled. "I especially don't like the silver haired guy. He looks like he could have been on Japan's Top Wanted List." While Jeff through his head back in laughter and let his belly do a little dance, Ike's face ashened at Jeff's remark, which made him remember where he had seen the silver-haired man's face.

"Holy fucking shit Jeffery, we need alert Mr. Uzumaki that there is an A-List criminal in his club!" Ike looked frantic while Jeff gave him a puzzled look.

"What are you talking about Ike. Did you go off your meds again?"

Ike looked at the fat guard like he was the biggest idiot in the world. "Have you never heard of Hidan from the Macabre Brothers?"

"No, are they like the Black Veil Brides? You know I don't like the emo music." Ike gave himself a facepalm and dragged his heavier partner into the VIP room.

I don't get paid enough for this job, first I get stuck working with this fat ass, and I just let Japan's number one serial killer slip right through my fingers. Ike shook his head while he let go of Jeff who still didn't know what was going on. Before Jeff could babble on more about how he doesn't like screamo music, Ike told him to put a sock in it.

"Just shut up and help me find Mr. Uzumaki. This is going to be a long night."

Sasori could not believe it, he had hit the mother lode! Every single piece of evidence that could link that blonde bimbo, or should he say Ino, and the rest of her FFF buddies to any burglaries, break ins, trasspassings, or exploitations between now and the past five year were all sitting in the palm of his hands. He didn't know whether it was because of his spy skills or simply dumb luck, but Sasori Rojas hand managed to get his hands on Ino Yamanka's cell phone and it only took two minutes.

The ginger giggled like a little school girl as he tried to keep himself quiet within the uniform closet of the secret break room that was behind the Hibachi grill. About 15 minutes after he started watching Ino and Choji, things started heating up between the two when Ino wouldn't stop playing with the zipper on the Akimichi jeans. Insisting that they continue their naughty behavior in a more private place, Choji whispered into her ear. While reluctantly getting off his lap, Ino followed him behind the hibachi grill. Sasori quietly followed behind them and caught the door the break room in the nick of time before it closed.

Silently shutting the door behind him, Sasori thought about how he was going to find his way around due to the room being encased in darkness except for the moonlight coming from the window in the back of the room. Hearing moans and groans coming directly in front of him, the redhead instantly knew it was the couple and that they probably made themselves comfy on a couch or something. Sasori debated on whether he should leave or not when he heard something hit the floor. Seeing a soft glowing the in darkness he instantly recognized as a cellphone with a pink background. Knowing it had to be Ino's, Sasori quietly walked over and grabbed for it just as the phone's light went off. He could smell the blonde's perfume as she was right in front of him looking for her cellphone. Quietly stumbling back on all the fours with the phone in his mouth, Sasori was for certain that he was going to be found out before Choji told her to forget about it and to come back and pleasure him some more. Mumbling that she'd look for it later. Ino got off the floor and went back to Choji where the moans sounded off yet again.

Inwardly sighing, Sasori stood up and fingered through the darkness looking for a place to hide. After running his fingers across the adjacent walls, his hands met a doorknob to which he carefully turned so it wouldn't squeak and pulled the door open to me meet a pitch dark walk in closet. Closing the door behind him the redhead walked deeper into the closet, passing by the coat and tripping over Crocs until he was at the end and pressed his back to the wall and slid down until his butt hit the floor.

When he pressed a random button at the top of the phone the screen lit up. Sasori saw that the background of a white rose with a pink backdrop behind it. Going straight to the text messages, Sasori bypassed the ones that were stupid forwards or sexy booty calls, and went straight to good stuff. He found numerous messages from women who were either on the FBI's top wanted list or women who were supposed missing and being pursued by the cops. The redhead also found out the names of the girls who were living with her and figured that the Temari lady that kept popping up in her texts must have been their leader and made a note to ask Nagato about her later. Knowing that two of them must have been the girls who snuck into the VIP lounge, Sasori came up with a devious plan.

First, he texted Deidara told him to bring Hidan down to the break room door. Then he used Ino's phone and texted one of her collaborators that were at the party, Sakura, and told her to come to the break room, along with Hinata, because Ino had been captured. When Deidara and Hidan got there first, the latter would break the door down. Deidara would then flash his badge and arrest Ino on the spot. Hidan would then alert the security guards in the surrounding area. Once the Hinata and the other girl got there they would be ambushed by security and then be taken downtown.

Since then, Sasori believed that he had found enough evidence to put all of them, as well as their associates, behind bars for a very long time. He had already forwarded the more incriminating messages to Nagato and was just waiting for Deidara and Hidan to come barging through the door.

This is the perfect plan. Not even those two idiots can mess this up. Sasori grinned happily put his hands behind his head and leaning back. I can taste my promotion already. Just when the ginger thought his plan could not and would not fail, he heard somebody break open the break room door. Sasori smiled and thought his plan was finally getting ready to be put into action. Except there was just one little problem.

He didn't hear Deidara's voice.

Instead, he heard the sound of people screaming bloody murder and shrieking in terror. Sasori's blood went cold and his heart rate increased tenfold.

No. This couldn't be because of them. But the words that came out of the non-Deidara's intruder's mouth only confirmed his fears.

"Mr. Akimichi, I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but a shooting is taking place in the club."

"WHAT!" Sasori heard the chef shriek in terror. "By who?"

"All I know is that it is a silver-haired man who goes by the name of Hidan."

Sasori's heart dropped into his stomach. Why does this always happen to me?

And he thought he'd finally had it made.

A/N: Review please, remember the more reviews I get the faster I update!