Hey thanks again for reading I'm glad you're enjoying my fic. I know Peter is fifteen in this and therefore should know everything Tony is saying and is perhaps too old for such a conversation but I did some googling and in New York there are rules on the minimum number of hours of sex ed a student should get but nothing on what exactly should be taught hence this chapter. Hope you enjoy.

- EmptyFridges

"Tony, I think you need to talk to Peter."

"Pep, I talk to our son all the time." Tony replied not even looking up at her from his phone he was currently emailing on.

"No Tony, I mean talk to Peter."

"Um…what. I just told you I talk to him all the time. You literally told us to stop talking four times this evening"

"Tony. I can't decide if you are being deliberately dim or are genuinely this obtuse. You need to talk to him and of course I told you to stop talking we were watching a movie, it ruins the atmosphere." She closed her book as she finished speaking placing it down on her bedside table and turning off her lamp.

Tony put his phone down, turned off his own lamp and lay on his back for several seconds running her words through his head trying to understand what she meant. Talk? She had emphasized talk. He had to talk to Peter…he had to talk to Peter?...Oh my god! He thought to himself as Peppers words hit him like a freight train, he had to talk to their son, their nearly sixteen year old son. He ignored Pepper's light chuckle at his groaning and rolled over to fall into a restless sleep.

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It had been three days and Tony still hadn't spoken to Peter, well he had but not about…that. It was frankly irritating. Tony knew he could talk he was good at talking in fact, he could talk to anyone about anything, he could make the media eat up anything he said, he could run circles around politicians with his words, he could smooch up to anyone at fundraising galas and charm almost anyone into bed. Well that last one he could do but now he had Pepper…and he was one hundred percent sure if he made a move on anyone she would castrate him, a year or two ago she would have just murdered him but she wouldn't let Peter lose another parent, so castration it was.

Pepper saw Tony shudder out of the corner of her eye, I wonder what he's thinking of? She asked herself. She knew Tony was nervous about speaking to their son but it had to be him that did it, it would be embarrassing enough for the teen having to get the talk from his mom would be far too mortifying for him. Also, if she was being honest with herself it was quite funny, Tony was Iron Man and the bravest person she had ever met but he was terrified about speaking to their son about this. She had seen him flicking through the parenting books they had bought so long ago looking for advice and caught him googling for help, and Tony only used google if the situation was dire. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him so nervous about anything. Her husband-to-be was great with Peter, she loved watching them interact, Tony was brilliant at teaching him things whether it was in the lab, while in the suit or general life lessons, he had also done a great job with speaking to Peter about that boy Flash. Ugh even the thought of Flash brought a scowl to her face, Peter had after a lot of cajoling told them everything and although since the other boy's suspension months ago he hadn't physically attacked their son his words were still cutting. It was only Peter's tear stained face and puppy dog eyes that stopped them from going to his school and speaking to the principal about it and also stopped Tony from ensuring Flash would never be able to attend anything better than community college once he graduated.

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It had been a week since Pepper had told him to speak to their son and he knew he would have to soon. He had thought about just not speaking to him the boy was sixteen surely he knew most of it from school? Did they teach that kind of thing at school? The boy wasn't an idiot surely he knew, but was he one hundred percent sure he knew? No, no he wasn't. He had watched that John Oliver bit…and god did that strike fear into him. What if Midtown was just teaching abstinence as the only answer? He had been a teenager himself he knew abstinence was not realistic, but what if that was all Peter was taught? No, he had to speak to him, not doing so would be negligent he couldn't just assume he knew. He had been researching how to go about it and what to say, his own teenage years and early adulthood were not something he wanted his son to take inspiration from after all. He had attempted to delay the inevitable but when Peter had come home the day before he had known it was probably getting to the point he had to speak to him. His son had smatterings of dark hairs on his face, he personally thought it was cute but knew the boy would want to shave it soon, it was rather patchy and he himself could remember the mocking he was victim to in MIT when he started to grow peach fuzz and his attempted beard that was frankly a patchy embarrassment.

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When the bell rang for the end of the school day Peter meandered his way outside to where Happy would be, deep in thought. He was nervous. His dad had been giving him strange looks all week and he had no idea why. The first day he had wracked his brain for anything he had done wrong recently but if he had misbehaved he was positive his dad would have brought it up immediately he tended to be swift in doling out punishments so he could comfort Peter and let him know he was forgiven afterwards.

"Kid are you going to get in or just stand there?"

Peter jumped at his uncle's words which pulled him sharply from his thoughts.

"Yeah sorry, just thinking." He said blushing as he climbed into the back seat, he had been offered to sit in the passenger seat months ago but refused he liked it back here, he had space to do his homework and could eat snacks without Uncle Happy eyeballing him to make sure he didn't get anything on the seats.

Happy gave a sort of half nod in response "good day?"

"Hmmm…yeah it was fine"

Happy rolled it eyes, it was one of those days. Occasionally Peter would get lost in thought and just sit and brood silently in the back, he would usually message boss when this happened, sure Peter was his nephew, but this was definitely dad territory. "You sure you're okay Pete?" he asked raising his eyes to look in the mirror. He wasn't expecting an answer so was pleasantly surprised when the boy spoke.

"Uncle Happy…dad hasn't said anything to you recently has he? He's being really weird, am I in trouble?"

The driver couldn't stop the laugh from escaping him and had to bite his tongue to stop himself from doing so again at the teenager's outraged expression. The boy was right Tony had been acting strangely recently and he wouldn't have known the reason had he not spoken to Gregor a few days ago. They often went for coffee together on their lunch breaks and the other man had told him Tony had come to him asking for advice on talking to Peter. Gregor had two sons both in their twenties so it had made logical sense for Tony to ask him but it was still amusing, Iron Man having to go get help to speak about sex. Actually forget Iron Man, Tony Stark needing advice on talking about sex was mindboggling…then again what that man knew about sex was probably very inappropriate for a teenager and his son at that. Gregor said Tony's face had been redder than he had ever seen it…and that was saying something as the man had once caught Tony quite literally with his pants down about twenty years ago.

"I'm sure he will talk to you soon Pete, there's no need to worry you aren't in trouble." He got a hum in response, clearly the boy was still anxious. "How about we stop for ice cream?" Ice cream was important sure but he could also text boss and tell him Peter knew something was up, surely that would spur the man on to talk to the boy.

Peter wants to know why you are being weird, grow a pair and speak to the boy if you don't want to be a grandfather before you're fifty – The Happiest bodyguard around

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Peter's spidey-sense was tingling. Not in the DANGER DANGER way more of a slight prickle as if something he wouldn't like was coming but it wasn't something that would harm him. He occasionally got this response from his sixth sense when he was about to be lectured, but he hadn't done anything had he? He had been racking his brains for a week to understand his dad's strange behaviour but hadn't come up with anything. Sure he was late coming home today but he knew Happy would have sent his dad a text so that couldn't be it and that wouldn't explain the past week.

Before Peter could dwell on it any longer the elevator reached the penthouse and the door opened allowing him to see his dad was sitting on the couch. Swallowing nervously he took a step into the room causing his dad to turn and give him an uneasy smile.

Tony really hoped the expression he just made at his son looked like an awkward smile rather than a grimace. God, he felt so unprepared. "Hey, Pete why don't you sit down? We need to talk." He said gesturing to the couch opposite and the snacks on the table, "help yourself."

Peter nodded slowly at his dad kicking his shoes off as he made his way to sit down. Well at least it was clear he wasn't in trouble, even the thought of his dad's office made him nervous as every time he made a poor decision it was where he ended up…and commonly the corner of it at that. "So what do you want to talk about?" he asked after several moments of silence.

"Well Pete, Pep and I have been talking and we've noticed…" he paused for a moment trying to find the words as he looked at the dark growth of hair on his son's upper lip. As soon as the boy noticed he blushed and took his hand up self-consciously.

"Oh….umm yeah, I don't…" Peter started feeling the blush on his face. Ugh this was awkward, he didn't know how to shave, Ben had promised to teach him but he hadn't needed to and then….well yeah. And he was sure May would have given him some pointers or found a video or something like they did at homecoming for his tie but…. "I don't know how. I know I can just watch a video, I was going to sometime. I know it's bad, even MJ commented on it! MJ!" he rushed out keeping his eyes on his hands as he spoke, too mortified to look at his dad.

Tony let out a breath, that he could deal with. "It's okay Pete, I understand don't be embarrassed, I'll help you once we've had a chat I can show you how to do it. Don't worry." He smiled softly as his son nodded a blush still staining his cheeks.

"Thanks dad. So, what did you want to talk about?"

"So…Pep and I have been talking and we realised you're getting older, you'll be sixteen soon. We should have spoken to you a while ago about this, we have known for a while especially after the whole drinking debacle that you are not a child any longer. So there's things you need to know, things to look out for."

Peter furrowed his brows at his dads words "if it's so important why isn't mom here?"

"She thought it would be too embarrassing for you if she was here for this conversation Pete."

What? Peter asked himself what kind of conversation could he be having that would be too….oh my god. No. No, he did not want the sex talk from his dad. Let him die. Let the world end.

Tony knew as soon as his son realised what he meant, the boy's blush returned worse than before and he refused to meet his eyes. He decided it was probably easier to just plough straight on and get on with it.

"So Peter, I know you probably know about my teenage years, heck my life up until Afghanistan happened?" He waited for a nod before continuing. "I do not want you acting like that. Is that clear? If I find you copying my behaviour from that time neither myself nor your mom will be happy." He had to stifle a chuckle at the wide eyed look from his son. "So firstly I'm not saying you have to be in a relationship to have sex but you have to respect what your partner is saying and what they want. I don't care how into it you are if she doesn't want to continue you don't okay? But the same goes for you too, if you don't want to, you don't have to, you should never feel pressured to act in situations like that" Pep had been adamant he started with that, she said it was something that was often glossed over and caused suffering for young people the world over, of course they both knew Peter was too nice to hurt anyone deliberately but he was also a teenage boy and also he didn't want him to rush into something and regret it.

"Okay, so secondly, you need to be safe…"

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Finally. It was over, that had to be the longest half hour of Peter's life. Sure, he knew everything his dad had been saying was important but he never ever wanted a repeat of that conversation and he couldn't be more thankful his mom had opted out, he was sure he would have died on the spot had she been there. He was about to stand up and leave when his dad clapped his hand together causing him to look up at the man for the first time in about twenty minutes.

"C'mon then Pete time to get rid of that monstrosity on your face."

Peter rolled his eyes knowing his dad was only joking with him but got up to follow him regardless. To his surprise they went into the man's own ensuite rather than Peter's.

"I have a bigger mirror." Was Tony's answer to his son's unasked question. "Right I wasn't sure what you would prefer but every man should learn how to shave manually, you can use an electric razor later if you prefer but you get a closer shave with an actual blade." He glanced at his son's reflection unable to stop a grin from spreading across his face at the look his son was giving him. He never would have dreamed of someone looking up to him like Peter did and he would do anything to make sure it never stopped, he wanted to make his son proud.

Peter reached out and grabbed one of the razors on the shelf in front of them but his hand was immediately slapped away by his dad.

"That's pretty much the last step kiddo cool your jets. The best time to shave is straight after a shower, I don't know the reason it just us."

"What!? Tony Stark doesn't know something. Call the press!" Peter exclaimed holding his chest dramatically laughing at his dad's affronted expression.

"Yeah so if you just wash your face that will do for now." Tony continued as if he had not been interrupted. "Then shaving cream, this is the one I use it's expensive so it's good stuff, I know you have super healing so it probably wouldn't make a difference but if you buy cheap it might irritate your skin."

Peter nodded at his dad's words soaking up all his advice as he copied his movements.

"Pete I know most the hair is on your top lip but just cover your whole jaw, we might as well get it all sorted"

"Ummm dad…why are you doing this?"

Tony turned to look at the boy quizzically "because I'm teaching you how to shave?"

"I know that, I mean why are you putting shaving cream all over your face? You don't need to shave?"

"Pete, it's easier to teach you by showing you, this is how Rhodey taught me, he shaved off his pretty impressive handlebar moustache to teach me so I'll do the same for you kiddo."

Peter turned wide eyed to look up at his dad. "Uncle Rhodey had a handlebar moustache? Do you have photos?"

"Sure thing underoos, right so back to the task at hand. You have to follow the grain okay, so shave from top to bottom so your skin doesn't get irritated. And don't press too hard it nips if you cut yourself. Watch me." Tony did a few strokes at the side of his face where he had only a short growth having shaved the day before. "Start up here okay Pete and remember no need to rush."

Peter stared at himself in the mirror as he shaved for the first time focussing on not cutting himself. He couldn't stop himself from grinning, sure he and Tony worked in the lab together all the time but this was one of the first times they had done some typical father son thing. Ned had told him all about his dad teaching him how to shave several months ago and he couldn't help but feel jealous. He looked up at Tony's mirror image once again and saw he was staring at Peter's reflection with fondness in his eyes, when their eyes met the older man ruffled his hair fondly before continuing with shaving.

Tony started to panic internally as he got close to his goatee but one look down at his boy who looked up to him like he hung the moon he knew he couldn't let the kid down. With one swift stroke he took a huge chunk of it off before rinsing the blade, as much as he wanted to do this for his son it was probably best to get the painful bit over with.

Peter couldn't help but stare as his dad shaved off his trademark hair, he didn't think he'd ever seen him clean shaven. He quickly got back to work taking off his own pitiful moustache and grinned as he finished up and was once again hairless.

"Rinse your face Pete, then I've got aftershave you can use."

"Umm…dad I've seen Home Alone."

Tony couldn't help but snort. "Kid it nips a little but it's fine, look" He slapped some on himself just as he did every day and grinned. He couldn't help but stare at his own reflection he was sure his lack of goatee would be commented on immediately, he wouldn't be surprised if it made magazines to be honest. He couldn't remember the last time he had been clean shaven, but he would live the rest of his life that way if that was what Peter wanted. Looking down at said boy he smiled "go on Pete, it's fine, you can't even feel it."

Peter looked up at his dad doubtfully but copied him hissing as it nipped his skin and gave the man a mock betrayed look.

"You'll get used to it underoos. You can just use moisturising cream if you prefer." Tony told the boy ruffling his hair before throwing his arm around the teen's shoulders and pulling him close.

"Thanks dad."

"No problem kid it's what I'm here for. How about we go show Pep?"