(4026 Words)
Quick chapter trigger warning, there is intentional self injurious action and talk in this chapter, be careful if this triggers you.
Raph sits silently in the bumpy car, his head still burred in his knees. "Raphael, I'm so disappointed in you." Greg says from the driver's seat. "I thought you'd finally got it together and now you blew it. This was the last one you know. This was the last family that was going to take you. Now there's only group homes left unless you're transferred out of state." Raph shakes his head. "I didn't do it. Whatever happened, I didn't do it." He says quietly.
"They said one of the boys saw you trying to essentially rape their girlfriend. Not much you can say against that." Greg says angrily. "I didn't do that." Raph says, picking up his head. "Yeah, you've been saying that for the last twenty minutes." Greg grumbles. "No, I really didn't do that. She forced herself on me and I panicked. I couldn't move. As soon as I could I got her off of me but by then whoever was there was gone by then." Raph explains.
Greg shakes his head. "I don't know Raphael, we normally trust the people without a history of lying and stealing." Raph puts his head back down. There was no way Greg was going to believe him and the one person he had truly trusted through life was now gone. He didn't trust him anymore, and why should he? Raph was obviously guilty.
Greg sighs and stops at a light. "I want to believe you bud. I really do. I don't think you'd do that but even if you didn't do anything you still have to leave if they want you to. I can't stop that." Raph looks over at Greg sadly. "I didn't do it. I really didn't. Even if I'm leaving I want you to know that." He puts his head back down on his knees, waiting to be taken to wherever he was going to be living for now.
The car stops and Greg gets out of the car. "Come on." He says with a huff, not giving any time to recuperate like he normally would. Raph slowly climbs out of the car and takes the bags from Greg, not saying a word. He keeps his head down and they both walk up to a big, white house. Greg knocks on the door while Raph stands slightly behind him. He truly hated himself in that moment.
Even though he didn't do anything he felt like he could've done something to stop it, to make sure none of this ever happened. Maybe if he hadn't been in the middle of a panic attack he could've told them what was going on, stop that bitch from leaving so she could tell them what she had done.
The door opens and a man a little taller than Greg greets them at the door. "Hello, you must be Greg." He says, small wrinkles forming on his face. He must've been about forty years old. "And this must be Raphael." He says kindly, waving them in. "My name is Cameron." He says as the walk into a living space. "So we're called the Wandering boys here, we have four other boys here at the moment and all of them have been assessed and made sure they were safe for a group home."
"Thank you for taking him in on such short notice." Greg says, placing a hand on Raph's shoulder. "He'll behave. Right." Greg glares down at Raph. He waves a hand as if to say 'whatever'. Greg nods to Cameron and leaves quickly, obviously still confused about Raph for what he thought he had done. Once the door closes Cameron gestures to one of the armchairs. "Why don't you sit down and I'll go get the other boys to introduce themselves."
Raph sits down and looks around, his self hatred boiling in his stomach. One by one teens start coming into the room. First it's a scrawny boy with cyan dyed hair buzzed on both sides to make a fluffy Mohawk. He had freckles just like Mikey but he looked much more grumpy than he'd ever seen Mikey. The next boy was much bigger. He was dark skinned and his hair was buzzed short with small designs on the sides. He wore cargo shorts and a large T-shirt with the letter 'Z' on it.
The next boy to come down was a taller boy, his hair long and blond and Raph could almost swear he was wearing makeup. The last boy comes down with Cameron. He has on a black hoodie covering his head and his hands in his pockets. He had black hair not unlike Raph's and it was pulled back in a short pony-tail from what Raph could see.
"Okay, how about we all go around and tell our names and..." Cameron says, thinking of a second thing to say. "Why we're here." He finishes, his fun demeanor chilling down to an in control one. He gestures to the Big teen and the boy sighs. "I'm Z." He says in a deep voice. "I scare people. Don't want me in their houses." He says simply before nudging the blond. "I am Matthew. I guess I screwed up one too many times, Or got caught one too many times anyways."
Raph scans the boys as they talk, soaking in every fiber of their being. The blond swishes his hand through the air, crossing his legs and motioning to the cyan haired boy. "I'm Lincoln. An' I ain't done nothin' wrong." He says quickly, tapping his foot and playing with large holes in his ears. Cameron gives him a look. "I didn't." He says, narrowing his eyes. "I've just been accused of stealing a lot. And lying- but I don't lie! Not no more." He says, his grammar horrendous.
Pathological liar. Raph thinks before the boy in black goes. "Britney." He says. He mumbles under his breath before continuing. "I'm here because I stole once and then the families I was with decided they didn't want to deal with my shit anymore so they abandoned me-!" Cameron holds out a hand towards Britney. "That's quite enough Britney." He says sternly before turning to Raph.
Raph doesn't look up from his hands. He didn't want to tell them why he was here, he barely understood why he was here. It all just went too fast. "I'm Raphael." He says quietly, still not looking up. "And I'm here because I was apparently accused of sleeping with my foster brother's girlfriend." He says, going with what everyone else thought he did. "Okay, thank you all for cooperating." Cameron says, folding his hands.
Raph runs the names through his head a few times, connecting them to their faces. 'Britney's a weird name for a dude.' He thinks just before Cameron starts speaking again. "I'm just going to go over the rules of this house and for you four this can just be a reminder." Cameron looks directly at Raph. "There will be no swearing, drugs, or alcohol in this house. You will do your chores without complaint. No one is to fight with anyone for any reason." His eyes flit to a couple of the boys before returning to Raph.
"Privileges can and will be taken away if you do not follow the rules. And no one is to harm themselves in any way, shape, or form." As Cameron says this Raph feels his insides turn. It felt like he had already done just that and he had been caught. He hadn't but now the thought was there. Raph notices another boy looking slightly uncomfortable as well. Britney shoves his hands deeper in his pockets and his head dips.
"Follow the rules and we'll be okay." Cameron says. "Raphael you will be bunking with Matthew so he can show you where to bring your bags." Raph nods and picks up his bags. "You'll get your chores list later. I'll give you time to settle in before I bombard you with more things."
Raph starts walking behind Matthew who hand flaunted his walk in front of Raphael. "Oh, and boys remember we're having a short outing to the store in a about a week to pick some things up." Cameron says. "Make sure to add anything you are running out of on the list." The other boys start getting up, going to each of their rooms.
Raph and Matthew go upstairs and into the door farthest from the stairs. "So, this is your room I guess." He says, something about his voice standing out to Raph. "I mean, I guess it's our room now." Matthew says, letting Raph set down his bags before walking closer. "So, you're here because you had sex with your foster brother's girlfriend?" Matthew asks, putting an arm around his shoulders. "I didn't-" Raph starts.
"So you're a naughty boy now are you?" He says, putting his free hand on Raph's chest. Oh no, not again, not so soon. Raph pushes Matthew away as soon as he leans in closer. "NO!" He says loudly, falling back onto the bed behind him while Matthew stumbles back a few feet. "D-Don't touch me." Raph stutters. He hated himself. "You boys better not be fighting up there already!" Cameron shouts from downstairs. "No, we're fine!" Matthew calls back, moving closer to Raph again. "Real fine..."
Raph keeps himself sitting up on the bed and glares fearfully up at Matthew. "You are one fine individual." He says. "Hey, you don't have to be afraid, I'll go easy on you." He purrs. He puts a hand on Raph's shoulder and Raph shutters. He did not want to be known for these kinds of things. "I said don't touch me." Raph says more forcefully, pushing Matthew again. "I won't tell on you but you need to stop." Raph says quieter, trying ever so hard to keep his composure.
"Oh, I don't mind." Matthew says. "Squeal little piggy, it'll be worth it. It's been... So long." He groans out, groping him. Raph hates it so much but he can't get in trouble on the first day, within the first hour. Raph squirms and Matthew Starts rubbing his chest with his restraining hand. "Mmm..." Raph squeezes his eyes shut and shoves Matthew off of himself again. "I said don't touch me!" Raph yells, alerting the whole house to the commotion.
Loud footsteps dash up the stairs and down the darkened hall. Raph yanks himself up onto the bed and pushes himself into the wall. The door is flung open and Cameron rushes in. "What is going on here!?" He nearly shouts. Matthew pushes himself up from the floor, wiping his mouth. "Nothing really." He says with a smirk. Cameron looks to Raph who's eyes were wide. "I-I- He-..." Raph can't figure out what to do. No one believed him the first time so who would believe him now?
But it was worth a try. "He tried- tried to- He was on me... Touching me..." Raph says, trying to figure out how to say it. Cameron puts a hand to his face. "Matthew, pack your bags." Matthew flips his hair. "Oh come on Cam, I didn't actually do anything." He says, his voice still slick. "It's called sexual assault Matt." Cameron says, grabbing his arm. "It's also called breaking your parole." He points to the small dresser that sat in the room. "Pack." Cameron orders.
Raph watches the encounter go down, not knowing how to excuse himself. He felt like vomiting and he just barely notices himself shaking. Cameron turns to Raph quickly, all the kindness that was in his eyes was gone for a split second before some returns as his eyes land on him. "Raphael, why don't you go downstairs, get to know the others some more. We'll talk later." Raph nods and starts to get up. "See you 'round naughty boy." Matthew says, making Raph's skin crawl.
He hoped he never had to see that sicko again. He walks down the hall, rubbing his arms and thinking. What did he ever do to make the universe hate him so much? His life started turning to shit when he was so little, he couldn't have ever done anything wrong at that point. He must've though. He must constantly be doing something wrong for the universe to punish him like this. Maybe if he punished himself...
His thoughts break when he bumps into what feels like a large bolder. "Uh-!" Raph blinks up at the large black boy. "Oh, sorry." Raph says quietly. He was normally much louder but for some reason he just couldn't find the energy to be much louder than that. "'S fine." The boy says. Raph recalls his name was 'Z'. "So uh, Z right?" Raph asks. Z nods. "Uh, what do you do for fun around here?" Raph asks, scratching the back of his neck.
"There's a basketball hoop out front." Z says in a low rumble. "I like to draw." He adds. Raph nods. "Cool..." After a couple awkward seconds of silence Raph realizes Z probably wasn't one for talking. That was okay. Raph didn't really feel like talking either. "Are you okay?" Z asks out of the blue. "Wha- Y-yeah. why?" Raph says. "You were gonna have a room with Matt. We heard you yell."
Raph shrugs. "It's whatever." He says. Someone grabs Raph's shoulder and he jumps. "That's the trouble Matt was talking about earlier." Someone says quickly. "He's raped or had sex with someone in every single one of his foster homes. A real slut if you ask me." Raph turns his head and sees the freckled boy, Lincoln. "You really need to watch out for him, wouldn't really sleep if I were you." Raph frowns at the fast pace the boy was talking.
"I don't know if I'll really have to. I think he's leaving." Raph says, the last part just barely over a whisper. "WHOA, DUDE!" Lincoln says loudly. "Did you really get Matt kicked out?! I've been trying to do that for like a year!" Z nods in agreement. Raph shoves his hands in his pockets and looks away. "Whatever..." He really just wanted to curl up in a ball and die in that moment.
"You're A-okay in my book." Lincoln says with a smirk. "Okay." Raph barely whispers. "Cops' here." A flat voice says to their right. The boy who was dressed in black was peering out the window. "That's Matt's ride." Lincoln says with a chuckle. Right on queue Matt walks down the stairs, two bags in hand with Cameron behind him. "See you guys." He says cheerily. "Fuck you later babe." He says, waving directly to Raph.
He takes a couple steps away from Matt and stares on in disgust. How was he so cheery when he was being kicked out? How was he so horny? Raph shivers, crossing his arms tightly. It was too much of the same thing in a short amount of time. He had no idea how he got himself out of it this time without a major panic attack. Raph shakes his head and watches Matt be lead out to the police car by Cameron.
Britney waves solemnly out the window at Matt. He waves back, adding a disgusting hand gesture including his tong and Britney flings the curtains closed over the window. He turns around and plops down on the couch, crossing his arms. Cameron comes back inside, closing the door. "Alright. Raphael, may I speak to you in the kitchen please?" Raph nods and follows Cameron. "Alone." He reiterates as Lincoln had tried to follow. He sulks back into the living-room.
Raph leans up against the counter and crosses his arms, staring at the table like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "So Raphael, about what happened upstairs-" Raph cuts him off quickly. "Yeah, I'm sorry, it won't happen again." Raph apologizes automatically. That was normally what people wanted. Cameron shakes his head. "No, I'm not looking for an apology but thank you. I was going to say it wasn't your fault." Raph's head shoots up.
"Matthew was close to having to leave anyways and the fact that he did that to you just set it over the edge. I know you didn't do anything wrong." Cameron finishes. Raph's eyes widen a bit. He really didn't think anyone would believe him anymore about anything. "If something like this happens again, which I doubt it will, make sure you come to me okay?" Raph nods, relieved he wasn't in trouble.
"Now then, we're having lunch in about half an hour, why don't you go unpack and settle." Cameron pats his back and Raph stiffens a bit, absolutely hating the touch. He goes upstairs and starts taking the small amount of belongings out of the bags and placing them in the dresser.
Unfortunately there were memories with each one. He takes out a new hoodie, bright red. Mikey had picked it out for him when they had all gone to the mall less than a week ago. Each of them had gotten one. Donnie's was purple, Mikey's was orange, and Leo's. Leo's was blue like his ice cold heart. Raph shoves it in the dresser and reaches into the bag once again.
He pulls out a graphic T-shirt. It had a Zombie hand reaching out of the ground. Raph shoves that in the dresser too. He had borrowed it from Donnie and he said he could just keep it, That it was too big for him anyways. He reaches in and his hand hits something hard. "What?" He grabs hold of it and pulls it out, his eyes gathering small droplets of water once he see what it is.
It was a small wooden picture frame with a lightly wrinkled picture of himself, Donnie, Mikey, Leo and spike all looking happy and almost like a family. Raph slams it face down on the top of the dresser. "Fuck..." He whispers, going over to the bed that was to be his and sitting down. He puts a hand to his head and leans over so he could rest his elbow on his knee.
Where did he go so wrong? Raph glares at the tipped over picture frame. What did he do to deserve this? His mind wanders back to his thoughts before he ran into Z. He knew it was wrong but it was what made sense to him at the time. He stands and goes over to his bag, opening the small secret pocket and taking out a pocket knife they hadn't found. He glances to the door and quickly and quietly closed it.
He went to the bed and sat on the floor, leaning his back up against it, right below the spot Matt had held him. He opens the small scissors, knowing they were sharper than the blades, and holds it to his wrist, shaking. He slowly presses down, harder and harder. It stung a bit but less than he thought it would. So he presses harder, blood starting to escape from the cut.
He had cut all the way across his wrist when he finally stops, watching the blood start to pool up. Then he just sits. He sits and stares at his wrist, the blood starting to drip down. He always was impulsive. when the blood starts to dry to his wrist he hears the door open and he panics, whipping his head around. In the doorway was Britney. He stared at Raph's wrist with a blank stare.
"Lunch is almost ready. Clean up quick." He says, turning around and walking away. Raph breathes heavily, getting up and stashing his knife again. He rushes into the bathroom and looks around quickly in a scan of the room before letting himself relax. "I-Is he gonna tell on me?" Raph breathes out. He quickly washes the blood off and down the drain before searching for a first aid kit, panicking. "Why did I do that? What was I thinking?" He mumbles.
He hears a quiet knock on the door and a large band-aid slides under the door. Raph's eyes widen. Someone- Britney was helping him. But why? Raph snatches up the band-aid and unwraps it, placing it on the cut which was bleeding again. Luckily he was wearing long sleeves so he could just pull them down over his wrists. Easy.
Raph buries the band-aid debris under a mountain of tissues in the garbage can and exits the bathroom, trying to not look like he had just sliced open his body. He goes downstairs and into the kitchen where all the boys were already sitting at the table, spaghetti on each of their plates.
"Finally! I'm starving!" Lincoln says, digging into his spaghetti. They were obviously waiting for everyone to arrive before they started eating. Raph sits down and the rest of the boys eat in silence. Raph was across the table from Britney and they lock eyes for a moment, making Raph severely uncomfortable. Lunch moves along quickly and Raph was briefed on a few more rules.
Get up by seven. Be ready for chores by eight. Lights out at eleven. Sneaking out will not be tolerated. For some reason Cameron never said anything about school. He guesses they just weren't doing that. There was one upside to living there then. Unfortunately Cameron says he'd be getting a service job soon.
Raph rinses his dish in the sink and leaves the kitchen, wanting to just go to bed at this point. He starts up the stairs but Britney takes his wrist, thankfully not the one he cut. "I need help with the garbage." He says, yanking Raph out the back door. Once outside Britney stares at him, them being about the same height. "Be more careful. I'm not gonna cover your tracks every time." He says.
Raph looks away. "I could care less if you do it, just don't get caught. The last time I was caught, no one left the house, everyone got searched and I was almost sent away." Britney crosses his arms. "Don't get caught. No one will like it." He easily tosses the garbage bag into the big bin before going inside. Raph grabs his burning wrist and sighs, staring up at the sky.
Well listen up, listen up
There's a devil in the church,
Got a bullet in the chamber,
And this is gonna hurt
Let it out, let it out,
You can scream, and you can shout
Keep your secrets in the shadows,
And you'll be sorry
This Is Gonna Hurt
Sixx AM
Yowza, I don't know how you guys are still reading this story right now. It's really great to write though so thank you so much for reading! All your reviews are so nice and they really encourage me to keep writing. You guys are the best! I also want to thank the two generic guests and the guest "M" for their reviews because I can't go straight to them through the PM. Anywho, tell me if you liked the chapter and I'll "See" you next time!