(5193 words)

"Raph! Yo-Yo Raph!" Raph sits up quickly, his head nearly smacking against another. "Awgh- Lincoln, get outta my face." Raph says groggily, pushing him away by the face. "What do you need? It's Saturday, I can do what I want." He rolls over and closes his eyes. "Come on man! We're going to the community center!"

Raph shakes his head. "I was up almost all night. I ain't getting up for nothin'." Lincoln huffs and whips the blankets off of Raph. "It's like one and the guys will kill you if we have to stay back. We all have to go." Raph glares at him and Lincoln glares back. "It's either you get up or I'll make you get up." He says, crossing his arms. "You can try, muscles." Raph grumbles, reaching for the blankets.

Lincoln yanks the blankets off the bed and pulls off the pillow, slapping it in Raph's face. "Get up dude!" He slaps it down again and jumps up onto the bed, jumping up and down and chucking the pillow onto Raph's head. Raph slowly lifts his head and glares, fire in his eyes, at Lincoln. "You fuckin' twelve or somethin'?" He says, pushing himself all the way up before hitting him in the stomach with the pillow. "At least your up." Lincoln snickers.

Raph shoves him down on the bed and stands up, glancing at a clock. "It's one?" Raph says groggily. Lincoln sits up with a lopsided smile. "Yeah dude. So hurry up we're leaving like in ten minutes." Raph groans and walks over to his open dresser, snatching out a fresh shirt. "Get out." Raph says, turning to look at Lincoln. "Dude, your just changing your shirt. Plus if I get out how am I supposed to make sure you don't just go back to bed?"

Raph rolls his eyes. "I'm not changing with you in here." He says, crossing his arms. "What's the big deal? It's not like you've got tits or something... Do you?" Raph makes a disgusted noise. "NO. I just don't like changing in front of people. So get. Out." Lincoln squints his already squinty eyes. "Fine. I'm giving you three minutes." He says, walking out and shutting the door.

Raph sighs and slips his shirt off, throwing it onto his bed and putting on a new t-shirt. His wrists were still covered by wrist-bands and he glances down at them for a moment, scratching beneath them. Raph decides quickly he wanted to wear jeans and slips off his sweat pants. He grabs a pair of jeans and starts putting them on when he hears the door open. "Times up dude! Better not be in bed!"

"HEY!" Raph shouts, quickly yanking his pants up before Lincoln got very far into the room. "What the fuck dude?!" Raph says, flinging his hands back. "Hey, come on man. Chill." Lincoln says, his hands up. "I'm not gonna 'chill'. Fuck off!" Raph says, feeling completely exposed even with his clothes on all the way.

Lincoln opens his mouth but then closes it, looking up. "Ooooh, I get it." He says, taking a step towards Raph. "Because of Matthew?" He says quickly. Raph shivers at the name. "Get. Out." He growls. Lincoln shifts his eyes to the door and back. "Struck a nerve." He says quietly through his teeth. "Well, better hurry up. Got like five minutes." He slinks out of the room and Raph lets out a shaky breath.

"Fuckin' asshole." He mumbles, putting on a pair of shoes and heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth quickly. He may be messed up but he didn't want stank breath. He rubs the brush quickly across his teeth before heading down the stairs, his bad mood slapped onto his face. "Alright, Raphael. Now we may leave." Cameron says, looking at a bouncing Lincoln.

"Oh my gosh yes finally." Lincoln huffs, flinging open the door. Z comes out from the kitchen, a banana in one hand and a sandwich in the other. "Hey. Put the banana back. You may have gotten away with making a sandwich but the banana can be put back. We already had lunch." Cameron says, pointing back towards the kitchen.

Z sighs and starts to turn around. "Hey, I'll take that. I didn't eat anything yet." Raph says quietly. Z shrugs and hands Raph the banana before they all start filing out of the house. Raph walks up behind Z and taps his shoulder once everyone else had gone out. "Just don't hide it in your pocket." He says, holding back a smirk. Z rolls his eyes but takes the berry.

They all clamber into the van once again, taking the same seats as they had each time they'd been in the vehicle. Raph looks at everyone as they got settled, reading their expressions. Before he could open his mouth Lincoln starts talking at the speed of light. "Britney, what's eating you? You haven't talked like all day."

"Fuck off Lincoln." Britney says, crossing his arms tight against his chest. "Hey, come on. I'm just tryin' to be friendly-" Lincoln says with a lopsided smile. "I said fuck off Lincoln." Cameron sighs."Britney. Do you want me to turn this car around." Cameron says warningly. Z glares at Britney and he glares right back. "No." He grumbles, sitting back.

The rest of the ride was quiet aside from the off comment about how bored they were. It took around forty-five minutes to get there and no one wanted it to be a painful ride.

As soon as they arrived the doors were flung open and the boys flew out of the van. "Oh my gosh we've been stuck in that damn van for days!" Lincoln says dramatically. "It's been less than an hour." Z says, tossing a banana peel in a nearby garbage can. Raph looks around and raises his eyebrows. He knew this area.

This was the area where he dropped off Angel. It was only a couple streets over. They picked this area when that place started because there was so much around here to help them. The community center, soup kitchens, homeless shelters. All of it was in this area without any police stations. As they walk in Raph tries to think of every single way he could make his way over there, hang out with the people he really wanted to be with.

"Hey Raph, wanna check out the court?" Z asks him as they push open the doors. "Huh?" Raph asks, looking around the building. He hadn't really come here himself so none of it was familiar. "There's basketball courts out back." Z explains. "Oh, Yeah, maybe later." Raph says, clearly distracted. He sits down on a big green arm chair and thinks.

If he got caught, what was the worst that could happen? Really. What was the worst thing that he could have happen to him. "Hey- Hey Lincoln, you've gotten in trouble a lot right?" Raph asks as Lincoln passes him. "Yeah, tons of times." He says quickly. "What about it?" Raph shifts in his seat as Lincoln moves to the chair across from him. "Well, what would be the worst thing to happen if I were to get out of here for a while. If I got caught or something."

Lincoln narrows his eyes. "Well a couple different things could happen. We could all get our privileges taken away. You could go on lock-down. You could possibly get thrown out but this would be a first offence so that's unlikely. Oh! And Cameron wouldn't let you out of his sight." Raph nods. "Not so bad..." He mumbles. "He sounds pretty chill compared to some of the foster homes I've been in."

"Really? He's way more strict than my mom and dad ever were." Lincoln says offhandedly. Raph frowns. "You remember your parents? Like your actual ones?" Lincoln nods. "Yeah, it wasn't that long ago." Raph leans forward, urging him to go on. "...It was like six years ago or something." Lincoln sighs. "So like I had to be nine or ten or some shit. I don't really know what happened for sure but somehow the house caught fire I barely got out but my parents didn't."

Raph looks away for a second. "Oh... I'm sorry man." Lincoln waves his hand. "It's whatever. I got out of there real quick. Ran to this one place for a while where I basically went around stealing things till I got busted." Raph nods. "Yeah, I did something like that when I was that age." Raph says with a chuckle. "What about you?" Lincoln questions, leaning back in his chair.

"I have no idea if I even had parents." Raph says with a shrug. "If I did, which I assume I had to, it was way too long ago for me to remember." Raph sees a large shadow fall over him and he looks up to see Z standing above him. "Hey Z." Raph says quietly. "Yo Z, we're sharing parent stories, come tell Raphael yours!" Raph was about to tell Z he didn't have to when he shrugs and plops down in a beanbag.

"Sure, why not." He says deeply. He rubs his chin for a second, thinking. "I was seven maybe. It's been a while, like ten years? I don't know. Anyways, my family wasn't the best. I had three brothers and three sisters. I was smack dab in the middle, three younger and three older. It was crazy. My mama kept us safe for the most-part, cooked us up some food every now and again."

Z looks like he was remembering fond memories. "Now the real kicker-" He says, gaining an odd smirk. "Was that she was one hundred percent addicted to heroin. Sometimes she was so high she'd just be in this daze all day." Z starts to chuckle a bit. "An'- An' then our pa' he got so drunk, like all the time!" Z looks as if he were going to explode with laughter.

"He'd try and yell at our mama for bein' so high when he was drunk as hell!" Z lets out a loud laugh while Raph sits, looking on horrified. Lincoln smirks and looks straight at Raph. Z calms himself down slightly and continues. "He'd try and beat the drug out'a her but that shit ain't ever workin'!" Z laughs so hard he starts gaining small tears in his eyes.

"How is any of this funny?" Raph asks, sounding distressed. "Well-Well me an' my siblin's always cracked jokes about it." Z says, sobering up. "Things like yo mama so high she found the sky's limit. It was the best way to deal with it... Till we all got split up. No sane person takes on seven foster kids. No sane person has seven kids at all."

Raph nods, barely understanding. Some people just cope with things in odd ways. "Oh, I know, let's get Britney in on this!" Lincoln says, starting to stand. "Lincoln I wouldn't. Sh- He'd get real upset talking about parents." Z says, suddenly very serious. "Oh come on man, it's not that bad." Lincoln says, rolling his eyes. Raph senses that this could get bad fast and stands up.

"Anyways, I'm gonna take my chances and head over to that place I mentioned before." Raph says quietly. He starts walking away but Z grabs his arm. "Hey-" He says, causing Raph to whip around. "Be careful... And be back by four or we're all screwed." Raph nods and Z lets him go. He quickly and smoothly slips out of the building without anyone noticing, rushing away from the building as fast as he could before anyone saw him through a window.

He lets out a breath after sprinting a while, hands on his knees. "Oh gosh... Why- Why am I so out of breath..." He gasps out to himself. He stands up and starts walking the familiar streets, looking around and feeling safe with the old buildings and dusty street lamps. He navigates his way through the city like he was walking down a hall, evading any possible threats to himself easily until he reaches his destination.

It was routine at this point. Go inside, knock, password, inside. He takes a deep breath and looks around the warehouse with a small smile. This was the place that felt like home to him. The busy rustle of all the kids and teens talking and shouting to each-other. It felt so good to be somewhere familiar Raph didn't care that he could be in trouble for being there.

He walks up to a black haired boy with a crown like hat on. "Hey man, anything new goin' on here?" He asks. "Not much." He mumbles, staring at a pencil and slowly turning it. "Just this new kid. He came in with Mitchy real shook up." Raph makes an understanding noise and puts and arm around the boy's shoulder. He didn't seem to even notice Raph had moved. "You should stay Raph. I heard through the grape-vine that you're in some group home thing."

Raph nods and scratches his chin. "Yeah, but I'm not sure I should run just yet. It's a real weird situation and it's possibly better just to stay put for now." The boy nods. "Ah." Raph moves away a bit. "So, who's this new guy?" Raph asks. "'Dunno, he wasn't talking at all. Just kinda... moved if he was moved but touch the guy's arms and he screams bloody murder. Link won't make that mistake again." The boy finishes with a laugh.

"Where is he? Maybe I can talk some sense into the guy." Raph says, bored. "Back center." The boy says, laying down his pencil and picking up a half eaten burger. "Cool, thanks J man." Raph says, patting the boy on the back before jogging to the back of the warehouse. "Hope this is what I think it is and not some nutter..." Raph mumbles to himself.

He moves through a crowd of people and his jaw drops. He couldn't believe his eyes at first but he had to after a few seconds of blinking. It was Donnie. He was siting on the floor, people all around him and his hand plastered over his ears. "Don?!" Raph exclaims, pushing the last few people out of the way. "Donnie, what are you doing here man?!" He takes hold of Donnie's shoulder and Donnie screams loudly.

He backs up, remembering what the boy had said when he first came in. "Don- Donatello?" He says softly, well, as soft as he could be. Donnie shakes his head. "Where's Mitchy?" Raph says into the crowd. "Over here." A boy's voice calls from a few yards away. A blond boy rushes over and rubs his head. "Hey dude, what's up?" He asks.

"Where did you find him?" Raph asks, pointing loosely to Donnie. "Him? He was on the corner, a street over. He looked like he really needed help so I brought him here, thought maybe one of the older guys could help figure something out." Raph rolls his eyes. "Once again, your heart is big enough for half this city Mitchy."

He waves him off and he just backs into the crowd, still watching the scene. "Don, does anyone know where you are?" Raph asks. Donnie shakes his head. "Can you come with so I can help you back home?" Raph asks, feeling like he was talking to an unstable toddler. Donnie shakes his head again.

Raph growls and looks around, jumping into the crowd and yanking a girl out. "Marcy, phone, now." He says with a scowl on his face. The girl quickly reaches into her dress pocket and drops an old flip phone into Raph's hand. He hated having his phone taken away. He tries his hardest to remember one of the Hamato's phone numbers but the only one he could remember unfortunately was the dreaded leader in blue.

"Gaaaahhhhhhh- Fuck." Raph groans, starting to dial the number. It rings and rings before someone finally picks up. "Hello? This is Leonardo, who is this?" Raph sighs heavily. "Hey fuck-head, your brother is with me and totally freaking out or something so you'd better get over here and get him." Leo is silent for a moment. "Raph? Wha- Where are you? You found Don? He-He's been missing for like an hour!"

Raph glances at Donnie who has his face buried in his knees. "Yeah. You can come get him outside the community center if I can get 'im there." He says, hanging up quickly. He wants to chuck the phone against a wall but instead shoves it into his pocket. "Okay Donnie boy, lets' go." Raph says, yanking Donnie up from the floor, avoiding his shoulders and arms.

He pulls the boy through the crowds quickly, pushing open the door to outside like a bull. "What are you even doin' man?" Raph tries to ask. Donnie seemed mostly unresponsive. "Gosh damn it Donnie, answer me!" Raph shouts as they speed walk down the street. Raph was annoyed that he barely got to stay in his 'home', annoyed that he had to call Leo, and annoyed that Donnie was being so difficult.

Raph stops and lets go of Donnie where he had grabbed him by the shirt. "What the fuck dude?!" Raph says, poking him harshly in the chest. Donnie makes a noise and his hands twitch. "Why did you just show up at that place like that? Why are you being so weird? Why won't you answer me!?" He finishes, yelling straight at Donnie.

Donnie drops to the pavement and digs his chin into his chest, hitting the palms of his hands onto his knees. "Whoa-!" Raph exclaims, taking a step back. "Uh- I'm- I'm sorry man, I-" Donnie's eyes are filled to the brim with soft tears and he makes small upset noises. "What do I- How- How can I help?" Raph says awkwardly. Donnie doesn't- can't answer.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, sorry, I'm sorry." Raph says, yanking out the phone from his pocket. "Gosh, only for you man, only for you." Raph mumbles, dialing the number back in. It was picked up within the first ring. "Raph, were are you guys?! We were already out and close but where are you?" Raph looks around. "Not far. A street away or so." He says. "Down past The Little Elf Soup Kitchen."

Raph looks down at Donnie and cringes. "Aaaaa- And um, what should I do if Don were to be... Melting down?" He could almost hear Leo wincing on the other end of the line. "Um-Ah- Um... Do- um. Just- uh, make sure he doesn't hurt himself or something." Raph hated the sound of Leo's voice. "Okay, whatever." He mumbles, bringing the phone slightly away from his ear.

He looks down at Donnie who was in more distress than he had ever seen him before. Why hadn't he noticed? Why had he all of a sudden just become this angry ball of shit when it was obvious something was wrong? Donnie hits his legs now, head down and silent. "Donnie, Don, don't do that man." Raph says quietly, his off demeanor returning.

He tries to take Donnie's hands away from his legs but there was no way Donnie was going to allow that. Instead he sits next to him silently. There was only one thing that could possibly equate to what Donnie was going through that Raph had experienced and it was not a good time.

So he does what he would've wanted if he were in Donnie's place. He lets him hit himself. He doesn't say a word. He just sits next to him, staring out into the street like nothing was happening. Soon he starts rubbing the older boy's back in slow, soothing circles. "Leo's gonna be here soon dude, it'll be fine." He says quietly. Though he hated the fact that it had to be Leo he knew Donnie needed someone from his family to come get him.

"Almost there" Leo says from the phone suddenly. Raph hadn't realized it was still on. He hangs up quickly and shoves the phone in his pocket, seeing the Hamato's van pulling up. Leo jumps out quickly, leaving the door open. "Oh my gosh, Don wh-what happened? You just ran off!" Raph stands up and glares at Leo. "Hey, fuckin' chill man. He's not feeling good right now." Raph tries not to roll his eyes at his own statement. He's never sounded so caring.

Leo sighs. "O-Okay, come on Donnie, Father's bound to be worried about you." He takes Donnie's hand and helps him up, leading him halfway to the car so that he could finish the action himself. Once he was in the car Leo turns back to Raph. "Raph, I-I'm really- I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know what all had happened, I just assumed and I-I made a big mistake-"

"Fuck yeah ya did." Raph interrupts, a deep scowl on his face. "Yeah... I feel so damn horrible about all this and I swear to you I'm going to try and fix this. I've already told my father we lied, me and Karai. I can't get her to confess but I did. I'm so sorry Raph. I just- I was so hurt and upset in that moment I-"

"Fuck off ass-hat. I don't give a shit anymore. I gave up on family already." Raph says. "Just take care of Don and leave me alone." Leo feels his chest tighten. "Don't say that! That's horrible. Listen, I'm going to try and fix everything maybe even get you back with us, I don't know-"

Raph starts walking away. "You can try fucker but when you're taken out of a home you're gone. You don't go back." Leo grabs Raph's shoulder. "That's because they don't want you back. We do. Just stay out of trouble until this whole thing blows over, we can get you back I promise." Raph rolls his eyes. "Promises aren't normally kept when it comes to me."

"So- So do it for Donnie. Do it for Mikey. They hate me right now. They barely talk to me. I've been trying all day to apologize to Mikey for all of this but every time we're in a room together he ignores me or leaves. That's why Donnie left. I was trying to make everything okay again and Mikey lashed out." Leo lets go of Raph's shoulder and he rolls his vibrant green eyes.

"Tell you what." He says "You somehow find a shred of evidence that I'll be put back in that house, then I'll 'be good'. Other than that, I'd say I'll do whatever the hell I want." Leo takes a step forward. "Oh come on Raph-" Raph whips around, shoving Leo back. "I tried to be good. I tried and I told you all I didn't do anything but oh, everyone's going to believe the preppy little fuck who could do. no. wrong. I'm sick of it. Take your brother and go. He probably doesn't want to be hanging around here."

"Please, can you at least promise me you won't hurt yourself again?" Leo calls. Raph freezes. "I-I saw the cuts... Please, I can't feel okay letting you go if I know you're going to keep doing that." Raph holds his wrist tightly. "Like I said, I'll do whatever the hell I want." He replies quietly, walking away and leaving Leo standing next to the van.

Leo closes the front door behind him, watching Donnie retreat into his room without a word. He sighs and rubs his face tiredly. The whole way home he couldn't stop thinking about Raph. He tried to apologize but he wouldn't take it. He tried to help in some small way, even if it was planting the seed that he cared, that Raph should do what he does.

Leo sulks into the kitchen and plops down at the table. He absolutely hated everything that was going on. "Leonardo?" Leo nods his head on the table. "I got 'im." Leo mumbles. "Is everything alright?" Leo looks up at his father, wanting to tell his father about everything that happened, about Raph and his wrist and the scars. "I-... I think Donnie should go back to therapy." He says as if he was giving up.

"Why do you say?" He asks, sipping a cup of tea. "He- He can't handle things anymore. He's melting down all the time and his anxiety levels are off the charts." Leo shakes his head. "I just want everything to go back to normal." He mumbles. Yoshi nods. "It will my son. Eventually, it will." Leo stands up and goes to the doorway. "I'm going to try Mikey again." He says solemnly.

He goes up the stairs and knocks on the second to last door and knocks quietly. "Mikey?" Leo calls. There was no answer. He knocks again, this time a bit louder. "Mike? Can I come in?" Still nothing. Finally Leo just pushes the door open. The room was a mess and he could barely see Mikey laying on his bed with large headphones on. Leo starts into the mess further and he could actually see Mikey actively ignoring him.

"Mikey, I need to talk to you." Leo says, pulling the headphones off. He could hear the faint sound of rock music that had just been blaring into his little brother's ears. "What do you want." Mikey says snappily. Leo holds his hands behind his back and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry Mikey. I- What I did was completely wrong and there's no good excuse for it. I-I just assumed something bad was happening and even with how bad Raph freaked out I just- I just felt like I had to keep you and Donnie safe. And my mind saw Raph as something dangerous."

"Well your mind royally screwed up." Mikey says venomously. "I know it did..." Leo says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I'm trying so hard to fix things now so-" Mikey sits up abruptly. "No, Leo, you need to shut up. Donnie might be eager to forgive you and Dad might still see you as the golden boy but I see you as my jack-ass of a brother who sent away someone who really needed a family."

As Mikey finishes his voice breaks, going from strong and angry to pleading and sad. "Mikey..." Leo says, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. Mikey smacks it away. "Mikey, I'm trying so hard to help. I saw Raph at the store the other day and then today when I was trying to find Donnie- I have to help him now, otherwise-..." Leo stops.

"Otherwise what?" Mikey asks, leaning forward, angry tears in his eyes and his cheeks red. "Otherwise I'm afraid of what he'll do to himself..." Mikey's eyes widen slightly. "Wha-What do you mean?" Leo takes Mikey's hand and squeezes it tightly. "He cut himself. I don't want to tell a whole lot of people just yet because I don't know how anyone else will react."

Mikey yanks his hand away and shoves Leo back. "THIS WOULDNT'VE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAID ANYTHING!" Mikey stands up as Leo gets off of the redhead's bed. "Now Raph's hurting himself and who knows what else because of you and your stupid, selfish girlfriend!" Mikey starts hitting Leo, strong at first and then slowly dwindling down until he's leaning against his older brother, tears sliding down his face as he takes comfort in him.

"I just hate you so much right now." Mikey says quietly as Leo rubs his back. "I deserve it." Leo says as Mikey wraps his arms around him. After a few minutes Mikey backs away and asks Leo to leave which he obliges quickly. He didn't want to make him more upset.

Leo, with two upset brothers retreats to his bedroom, sitting on his own bed and rubbing his chest where Mikey had hit him. He could tell there'd be some bruising later on. He could feel his stomach churning, partially from his emotions and partially from hunger. He knew his father was making an early dinner but he really didn't feel like he deserved any food. Leo flops back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

His stomach growls but he ignores it, rolling to his side. He didn't deserve to be upset. He was the one who made all of this happen, he was the one who made Raph go away, he was the one who made his brothers mad at him. He had no right to be upset, yet, that didn't stop his dumb teenage heart from pounding and slapping him in the face with a wave of sadness. It felt like hundreds, maybe thousands of people were looking down on him with hatred.

It all weighed down on him and he holds back any inkling of tears that tried to force themselves into his eyes. "Leonardo! Dinner is ready!" His father yells from the kitchen, knowing full-well that Mikey and Donnie were not in the mood for food. "I'm not hungry!" Leo shouts back without thinking. His stomach tries to disagree but doesn't get very loud. It wasn't like he needed food anyway.

Cut you open and make you sick

Suffer, suffer, suffer like I did

Take the poison and lock your lips

Suffer, suffer, suffer like I did.

"Suffer"

Get Scared

Yooooo! Hey guys, thanks for hanging in there! I've been honing in on my art for the last couple weeks. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and tell me what you think about it! Tell me all your theories or ideas about what's going to happen, tell me what you think of each and every character, I don't care! It's so great getting feedback from you all! I'll write you next time dudes!