Naruto groaned as he pulled himself back to consciousness. He was in his apartment. On his side table sat a card with a poorly scribbled message. 'Congrats. You passed. Training starts at 7:00 tomorrow. Winky face.'
"Astral Clock," Naruto muttered, rubbing his head. Sensei really hadn't gone halfway had he?
6:50. Naruto's eyes widened as he stared at the glowing numbers in front of him. "Oh crap! Mana, ramen, on the double!"
At his command, a roughly carved stone golem rose to its feet and moved towards the kitchen. For his part, Naruto stumbled towards his bathroom, grabbing a change of clothes as he did so.
Soon he emerged and sat down at his dining room table and began shoveling ramen into his mouth. "Thanks Mana," he said, though with a mouth full of food it was barely legible. The stone golem simply bowed, before stepping back, the runes which animated it going dim once more.
"Astral Clock," Naruto called again. 6:59. Slurping down the last of his ramen, Naruto grabbed his staff and tapped it against the ground. "Recalled Translocate." His body blurred and then faded, leaving his apartment void of any life.
His arrival at the training field caught the attention of his two fellow Genin. "Cutting it close, dobe," Sasuke muttered. Sakura fixed him with an angry look.
"Naruto! You were almost late! What would Sensei think? You'd make us all look bad!"
Shrugging, Naruto leaned against the stick he carried. "In my defense, it would have been Sensei's fault if I was late. I was out until… like, 10 minutes ago?"
Sakura glanced at him in surprise. "Eh? I mean, I know Sensei knocked you out, but how hard did he hit you?"
"Hard enough to cause a concussion," Naruto groaned, rubbing his head. "I'm just glad he tossed me back into my bed, otherwise I'd still be feeling it." Sakura considered that before nodding, while Sasuke just grunted. "By the way Sensei, do you plan on just sitting over there and watching us?" Naruto asked, nodding towards a random tree.
The masked Jonin stepped out of a tree and landed next to the blond-haired boy, one eyebrow raised. "How did you notice me? I'd suppressed my chakra."
Naruto smiled easily. "Oh, simple. I didn't sense your chakra. I just saw you."
"Saw me?" Kakashi-sensei tilted his head questioningly. "Through a minor genjutsu, dense tree foliage, and my admittedly quite masterful skill at presence concealment?"
Reaching up to his face, Naruto took hold of a pair of glasses that hadn't been there a second ago. "An interesting enchantment here. Glasses of Threat Identification. Your body may be hidden, your chakra cloaked. But your weapons stand out like a sore thumb. It's not as if kunai make a habit of floating in the air," Naruto explained.
Kakashi-sensei considered that, before sighing. "Okay. It seems I have been given an inaccurate report on your abilities. Let's remedy that. Tell me, who are you? What are your dreams, and what abilities do you possess to allow you to reach those dreams?"
Sakura spoke up first. "My name is Sakura Haruno. My dream is to protect Sasuke to the best of my ability. As a civilian, I possess no bloodline, no clan, no secret techniques. So, to best help Sasuke, I have focused on on the basics. If it is an academy discipline that does not require large chakra reserves, I am the best at it among my peers. If it is common knowledge, I know it."
"A bold claim," Kakashi-sensei noted. "Perhaps too bold. I'll have to test you to make sure, as you understand." The man paused for a second. "But from what I've seen, you may be telling the truth. Uchiha?"
"Hmph." Sasuke grunted, shifting forwards slightly. "Sasuke Uchiha. My dream is peace, but my goal is revenge. Competent in some Fire-jutsu, second only to Sakura in shuriken, the most physically skilled in Taijutsu among my peers."
Kakashi-sensei tilted his head. "I had thought that Sakura-chan had said she was the most skilled."
Sasuke grunted again. "In technique. Physically inferior. On even ground, no chance for me."
"For an Uchiha to admit failing, Sakura-chan, you must be skilled indeed," Kakashi-sensei complimented the girl. Already blushing at Sasuke's words, she glanced at the ground, steam almost pouring from her ears at the praise.
Naruto smirked. Those two were always adorable to watch. Apparently his movement drew Kakashi-sensei's attention to him, and the man gestured towards him.
"Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto shouted, before taking a deep breath and continuing. "My dream is knowledge. The knowledge that all men seek! The purest form of truth! That which lies forever hidden, and is all the more tempting! That's right, I seek one thing! To be able to, at a glance, identify the three sizes of women, and accurately predict what kind of underwear they're wearing, from colour to pattern to fabric type! Believe it!"
So he declared without a hint of shame. Kakashi-sensei blinked. Apparently even a jonin could be taken off-guard. The man glanced at Sasuke and Sakura to see what they had to say in response. Sasuke just shook his head tiredly and grunted, having heard Naruto's spiel too many times to count. Sakura childishly stuck her tongue out at Naruto.
"Pervert!" she rebuked. "You're too brazen, Naruto!"
A lazy smile was her response. "Suspecting that this might come up, you decided to wear an non-typical pair of panties. You, of course, require no bra. The panties are lightish purple, a colour you both like and dislike in equal parts. No pattern, cotton, bikini-cut. Am I wrong?"
Sakura had grown progressively redder as he spoke. Now, with a shout of embarrassed anger she hurled herself at Naruto who only barely managed to redirect the blow with his staff. Slowly the blond backed up, dodging and deflecting the strikes that came his way.
As Sakura launched a roundhouse kick at his head, he slipped past her, his staff flicking out. "Teleport Excerpt," he whispered as he did so. At the touch of his staff, the spats she wore beneath her dress vanished.
Though Sakura immediately jumped backwards and yanked at the skirt of her dress so that it concealed her panties, everyone present had seen that Naruto's prediction had been spot on. Sakura knew it, and glared angrily at Naruto. A flicker of steel was sent darting towards him.
It never reached its target, intercepted by a shuriken. Both Naruto and Sakura's heads snapped towards the thrower. Sasuke lowered his arm and met Sakura's gaze. "Sakura. Dobe is distracting you. Don't let him."
The girl flushed at the rebuke. "S-sorry, Sasuke."
Sasuke grunted in response. Kakashi-sensei nodded towards her. "Ma, ma, don't feel too bad Sakura-chan. It's understandable that you would become caught up in youthful—I mean childish—antics." The masked jonin coughed, muttering something about spending too much time around some guy. "But Naruto-kun? Please do not use your teammates as a distraction just because you don't wish to talk about the power that you're using."
Naruto winced. "Saw through that, did you?"
Rolling his eyes, Sasuke spoke up. "Dobe, anyone with half a brain would notice."
"Well now," Naruto said, "that's rude to Sakura."
"No." Sasuke grunted back. "Goaded her into attacking you. Knew her reaction; how to elicit that reaction. Planned in advance, played off of her personality. Typical. Evaded, distracted. Never a straight answer, only an outrageous one. Charmer's smile, words with all the substance of a charlatan."
With a chuckle, Naruto cast an amused look at Sasuke. "Wow. You've got my number. That the number two student was keeping such close tabs on the last place student; should I be flattered?"
"Now you seek to distract me. Won't work. I kept tabs on all my classmates. It's why I'm the best. Sakura knows her books, I know people." Sasuke gestured towards Naruto. "I know your habits. But the why remains an enigma. Kakashi-sensei, what do you know about him?"
Kakashi-sensei coughed. "Naruto Uzumaki. Ranked 31st among his classmates, poor showing in physical disciplines. Extreme skill with the Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu, and Clone Jutsu. Poor showing in academic disciplines. Instructor notes: Disruptive. Though skilled in the Transformation Jutsu, uses it primarily for juvenile means. Is to be watched at all times, particularly concerning interactions with female students or teachers." Sighing, the man scratched his head. "Doesn't say anything about an ability to heal, use B-ranked Jutsu, skill with traps, creation of tools, or accurate prediction of other people's actions."
Kakashi-sensei glanced at Sasuke and Sakura. Sasuke grunted. "Insight into others actions has been observed prior. Other abilities shown within the past day are new."
"Though Naruto is quite poor academically, he is by no means stupid," Sakura added. "An idiot perhaps, but not stupid. He understands the source material, but chooses to ignore it."
Chuckling, Naruto cast an amused glance at his team. "Seriously, I've been trying to keep a low profile. Guess it didn't work too well, to have you two so interested in me."
"No. Worked quite well," Sasuke muttered. "Low profile—fellow classmates dismiss you as irrelevant. Most dislike you based on some preconceived notion—unsure of what. Exceptions, Shikamaru, Choji, and Hinata. Shikamaru pays attention to everything. Choji dislikes you because of your love of ramen, a food he considers inferior to udon. Hinata. Unsure. Shy personality, repressed emotions. Cannot build a full model of her."
Sakura sighed. "The teachers dismiss you because of your antics. Iruka-sensei is too lenient towards you, while most of the others actively dislike you. Your skill at ninjutsu is considered a fluke, while your failure in other disciplines is considered expected. You are spoken of dismissively if you are spoken of at all."
"Well that makes me feel better," Naruto said, tapping his staff against the ground. "Still, I suppose now that I'm on a team there's no real reason to keep it a secret. Okay, you want to know how I do what I do?"
All three of the others nodded, Sakura bobbing her head rapidly, Sasuke jerking his head in a sharp nod, while Kakashi-sensei nodded calmly.
"Why, magic," Naruto answered cheerily. The other three looked at him skeptically.
"Magic? Naruto, there's no such thing as magic, no matter how many street vendors claim that what they do is such. The masses might believe in magic, but a ninja should know the truth." Sakura scoffed.
Kakashi-sensei was in agreement, his visible eye narrowing. "Naruto," the man reprimanded. "As you said, you're on a team. There is no reason to lie about your capabilities."
"No. Not lying." Sasuke's words drew the attention of both Sakura and Kakashi. "Truth, or at least what he believes. Delusional?"
Sighing, Naruto looked around the group. "None of you? Fine, I'll show you." The smile left his face, replaced with a cold and distant gaze. "Try not to go mad."
Naruto tapped his staff against the ground. And their world shattered.
Meant to have this out yesterday. Co-worker called in sick. Had to sub in. Life, you know? Anyways, bit of a cliff hanger. Next chapter should be out soon. Wednesday or something? Eh.
Right, I also noticed something. In the first chapter I had Kakashi introduce himself as Hatake Kakashi. I've gone back and fixed that, but from now on all names will be westernized. First Name-Last Name. Easier you know?
Cheers.