Chapter Three: Acknowledging Fate

Kilgrave woke up alone in bed, around one in the afternoon.

It had to have been a nightmare. It had to.

All of the details of last night weren't there, as his memory of the events was hazing from the abundance of alcohol he had consumed. But what he knew clearly was that he had broken one of their sacred rules multiple times… and to do something horrific at that.

"No, no, no." It felt like part of him was dying on the inside. What had he done?! "Jessica?" He calls, though his voice shakes and he's barely audible. It didn't help that his hangover was adding to his headache.

He stumbles out of bed and throws on yesterday's clothes to find their apartment empty. Of course, his next move is to call her, but he gets sent straight to voicemail.

This is what a panic attack must feel like. Not being able to take a full breath. Feeling like the air was purposely suffocating. Heart pounding so fast that it might burst. Constriction in the chest. Uncontrollable trembling. The idea that the world around him was decaying, and he was stuck in the middle of it. Forced to watch without an ounce of control. This terror was perpetually constant for hours until the front door opened. It was past five when Jessica finally returned to their shared home.

What she would never admit aloud is that she spent most of her day trying not to cry. And when she couldn't hold it in any longer, it broke her. There was only one person in the world that she trusted with her life. One person that she knew she could always count on. And last night, he violated her in the most painful way.

She doesn't initially look him in the eyes when he stands up from his seat, and she slams the door behind her.

The moment they're in the same room together, Kilgrave whimpers, "Jess…"

"Shut. The fuck. Up." She growls, forcing herself to show anger to hide all of her other conflicting emotions.

His eyes lower to the ground, and he can't think to do anything, so he simply stands in front of her, waiting for what she would do. He stands there, practically bowing to her in silence. He doesn't dare look up either, but the suspense was killing him. What was she thinking?

When at least a full minute had passed, Kilgrave finally lifts his head, but makes sure their eyes don't connect as he weakly mutters, "You know the rules. I know the rules… you have every right to hit me…"

Of course, he was right. For every time he used his powers on her, she had the right to hit him as hard as she liked. There wasn't a clear number of commands he had given out last night, he simply couldn't remember. But he knew one thing for sure. If she hit him as hard as she could, more than three times, she could very well kill him. And that would certainly be her prerogative. He wouldn't even try to stop her, there would be no point. In fact, it would make him feel the slightest bit better if she did hit him. It would be the closest he could get to some form of repentance, and maybe try to move on from the mess he had gotten them into. How else were they to move forward?

To his surprise, she hesitates. "I know." She says back through clenched teeth and stares back at him for a moment.

She wasn't going off on him, and her quietness about the situation was only making him feel worse. Maybe that was the point. "Jess… you know I… I didn't mean to -" He was already choking on his words, but she doesn't let him get a full sentence out anyway.

The instant he opens his mouth, Jessica steps closer to him and reaches over his shoulder, grabbing the back of his shirt with her left hand. In one swift movement, she jerks him down so he bends over and draws her fist back, punching him in the gut with her right hand. She holds him there so he doesn't get pushed back, and waits for the impact to register with him.

Kilgrave stays hunched over and suddenly gasps as she strikes him, getting the wind completely knocked out of him. He's quick to start coughing, and eventually whimpers from the pain. Since she was keeping a hold on his shirt, she didn't allow him to crumple to the floor like he wanted to, so he merely covers his stomach with his arms. This wasn't an attempt to defend himself, but just an involuntary reaction.

It hurt like hell. Obviously. However, what he didn't expect was that this was nothing from Jessica. Compared to the true power of her strength, this was basically just a love-tap from her. She could have broken his ribs, but she most likely only left a bruise. Why had she held back?

She gives him barely enough time to get his breath back before she lets go of him and takes a step back. "Stand up straight." She says in a demanding tone, though her fist loosens.

It takes everything he had to do as she says and straighten his stance, his hands still clutching at the site of the punch she delivered. This time, their eyes do connect and her gaze is softer than what he had anticipated it would be. "Where's the rest?" He croaks weakly, continuing to acknowledge the fact that his fate was in her hands, practically encouraging her to keep going.

Taking a deep breath, she realizes that hitting him once was satisfying enough, and beating the shit out of him wouldn't do their friendship any good. Instead, she reminds herself of what she had spent all day thinking about.

Her tone is no longer angry when she speaks, but calm and authoritative. "You're going to take a shower, and get dressed. Then, you're going to take me out to dinner. And if I ever get over the shit you just put me through, and our date goes well, I will determine if we move forward in a relationship or not."

"Our date?" He seemed confused now, but there was the smallest twinkle of involuntary hope in his eyes.

"Yes." She has to close her eyes for a moment, causing her to pause before saying. "But if I decide against anything, then that's it. You drop everything about being in love with me. Do you understand?"

He quickly nods, blinking in astonishment. She was giving him a chance.

"No matter what happens, no matter what I decide about how we're gonna do this, you promise me this one thing now." Her voice becomes drastically more serious now as she growls. It's unclear to him, but she was fighting off tears again. "We never abandon each other."

Living without being in a romantic relationship with Jessica was hard, but losing her friendship forever was just not an option for Kilgrave. He'd do anything to stop that from happening, and his heart melts when he hears that not only was she giving him a chance with her, but she wasn't going anywhere.

"Never." He answers with absolute confidence, the pain of her punch and his panic attack slowly subsiding.

It was going to take time for Jessica to forgive what he had done to her, but Kilgrave was all she had. Before, she had never thought of him romantically, only because they had grown up together. But sleeping with random guys every week was getting old and there was never a connection with anyone else. She couldn't live like that forever. Kilgrave was the only person she could talk about anything with, who understood her sense of humor and had any sense of rapport with her.

If he had honestly been in love with her this whole time, he was really fucking patient. Although this one mistake was a colossal one, it shouldn't stop her from giving him one shot. He deserved that much. And the added clause that she could end it anytime, and they could still be friends was one of the only things easing her conscious.

When he responds with that single word, she manages a mellower expression. "Good." Somewhat playfully, she shoves him backward and walks around him to sit down on the sofa. "You owe me like a thousand dinners, so hurry up and shower. You smell like booze."

Her demeanor was beginning to return to normal, and relieved was an understatement for Kilgrave. As he stumbles his way to the bathroom, he responds by teasing, as he ordinarily would, "You mean I smell like you?"

Hearing the bathroom door close, she yells in his direction, "Asshole!" She has to bite her lower lip to stop herself from smiling.

Once she hears the shower running, she quietly gets up and heads to the bedroom. It takes a minute before she finds the necklace that Kilgrave had put on her yesterday. It had fallen off in her sleep and got lost under the covers.

She sighs to herself and puts it back on, standing in front of a mirror. Jewelry still wasn't her thing… But the purple heart pendant did seem to suit her.

Author's note:

Oh fuck, it's getting close to a year since I updated this mini-story. I was convinced to finish this now since I'm in the midst of finals and these chapters are a lot shorter than a full chapter of Purple Roses would be.

Okay, would this have been what I would have written as a (sort of) ending to this alternate universe 6 months ago? Absolutely not. It probably would have been much sadder and darker heh… But as most of you know me from my first main story, Purple Kisses, I needed to write something a little more hopeful after I ended that story. So, not happily-ever-after, but there is hope.

I MIGHT write like a little epilogue and check up on these two later, but we'll see.

Anyway, thanks for reading, as always! Let me know if you guys really want that epilogue bit and I'll see what I can do :)