Chapter 3 – A Dying Flower

"…and we lived happily ever after. The end." Luan finished off with a dramatic touch. She eyed Luna, trying to scan her mind for a positive reaction, finding it rather difficult as her expression was oddly unreadable. Then Luna, who had not said a word for the entire duration of Luan's story, adopted a half-lidded smirk. "You know, sis, I thought my love story was crazy, but now I'm thinking yours might be even crazier."

Luan folded her arms smugly. "Hey, it was a drama after all. Get it?" She chortled with silly giggles, but was silenced when Luna pulled her into a tight, yet gentle hug.

"I'm so happy for you, brah," was all she said. Luan returned the embrace and closed her eyes contently.

Amidst the never-ending teasing and meddling the siblings often inflicted into each other's lives, there was one thing they could all be certain of: each and every one of the Louds could be counted on for support for his or her love life. There wasn't one family member who did not stand next to a sibling who was struggling or flourishing with a romance; Lincoln, Lori, Lucy, and Luna were all worthy candidates who could vouch for this strict constant. Now, Luan was one too; Luna's hug and single statement were enough proof. Luna supported her and Benny just as much as she supported Luna and Sam.

After a few moments, Luna pulled away, feeling so proud, so pleased, and above all so relieved to finally see Luan nestled in that same sensation that she was. "Do you feel that little feeling, dudette? That feeling of feeling a comfy sort of feeling?"

Luan looked at her hands, then up at Luna with a small smile. She indeed felt that particular joy that she had always longed to feel, having spent years enviously watching Lori basking in it with immense passion. The jokes and puns she generated whenever she encountered Lori prepping herself for yet another big date with Bobby had often acted as tarpaulins to cover her growing jealousy towards the eldest sister's jubilation of having a boyfriend to share her life with. But at long last, she could receive her serving of the sweet, sweet desert she had wanted to taste for so long. She was engulfed in that certain little pull that tugged at her heartstrings in a way that wrapped her in cozy blankets at night and let her soar above the clouds at day, away from anything the corrupt world could use to try to stop her in her path. It was a feeling straight from the heart.

"I feel in love."

Luna grinned. "Doesn't it feel great?" she whispered.

'Great'? It felt more than just great. Benny was hers and she was his. A silly, droopy grin slithered her face as that giddy feeling seized her again; it raced throughout her insides like someone was flushing the unknown particles out of her and replacing them with fresh air that made her feel like human Jell-O. Luna, on the other hand, finally gave up trying to restrain herself from squealing much like Luan had done earlier. "Ohhhh, my little Lulu is growing up!"

Luan goofy smile vanished instantly and she pouted, giving Luna's arm a light punch. "Don't call me that around Benny," she complained, looking thoroughly upset.

Luna wasn't letting her go that easily. "Aw, is Lulu feeling a little embarrassed right now?" she teased, nudging Luan playfully in the ribs.

The ponytailed girl blushed furiously as she waved Luna off with annoyance, and gazed out the window at the late afternoon sky. Deep down, she liked the affectionate nickname Luna had chosen for her; it had first become a regular between them way back into early childhood. It was one of the reasons why it had been a such a confusing blow to Luan personally when Luna temporarily adopted her new stage name 'Lulu' on America's Next Hitmaker. The name didn't normally venture outside the Loud House property, but for some reason, Luan didn't want Benny to hear her siblings calling her pet-names, at least not yet. She just didn't want him to see her being treated like a child.

But that would be extremely difficult to ignore. Really, she couldn't exactly blame her family since she did have a tendency to act quite childish, supposedly justifying the family's interactions towards her. She knew that they held a general perspective that Luan Loud was immature for her age, and despite never admitting it, a small fragment of Luan's mind told her that she held this view of herself as well. She didn't know why she had trouble gauging the seriousness of a situation, instead opting to present any new occurrence with a pun; whilst this was simply her way of lightening the mood during a dark time, it sometimes came off as her seeming incredibly thoughtless. Heck, even her brother and younger sisters had more awareness than she did. Most of her jokes, while humourous from a literal standpoint, ultimately were inappropriate in context with the situation. And not to mention that her years of leading Pranksgiving, while fun and amusing to her, had led her to suffer with a label tied around her neck that deemed her cynical and heartless. She wasn't blind from this.

Why would Benny, or any boy, want to be hooked up with a girl like that?

Her past behaviour certainly did not seem very mature. Her hobbies seemed to weigh more on the juvenile spectrum than her age demanded. A relationship, as she had been telling herself for weeks now, was no laughing matter; if she was to have any hope in making this new connection with Benny last, then surely she would have to make some serious changes.

"Yo, sis. You still with me, brah?"

Luna's familiar voice broke her trance, causing her to blink. How long had she been sitting there mulling over her anxieties?

"Oh…yeah, I'm…I'm still here."

Her shaky voice immediately caught Luna's attention. Being a big sister for 14 years had allowed her to pick up on subtle signs that would otherwise go unnoticed to anyone else. Something was wrong. Only five seconds ago, they were engaged in light-hearted teasing (at least on Luna's side), but suddenly Luan looked as though a storm of distress had clouded her mind.

"What's the matter, dude?"

She fiddled with her thumbs. "Nothing."

Luna shook her head. "Come on, sis. I can see something's bugging you. One moment ago, you were lost in a little bit of love, and now it looks like you've got a little heartbreak warfare."

Luan folded her hands in her lap and sighed. "Okay, okay, there is something. But I…I don't want you to worry about me…you don't need to."

Her sister moved closer to her. "That's where you're wrong, Luan. It's my job to worry about you 'cuz I'm your big sis, and I let no one in this family suffer alone. Do you remember that promise I made to you that winter's night when the furnace conked out?"

Luan stared at the carpeted floor and nodded slowly as her memory went into rewind, taking her back to the night in question. It had been the very night when both she and Luna had confessed how much they had missed each other while the latter had spent half the month of August away at her high school band retreat. The furnace has completely stopped on that chilly November night, prompting Luna to stay with Luan to keep her warm, giving the sisters ample time to pour out their hearts, learning how much they meant to one other and Luna promising that she would always be there for her little sister. It had truly been a turning point in Luna and Luan's relationship, sparking the renewal of their sister bond, and since then, they had founded a greater trust and appreciation for the other.

Additionally, Luan had promised near the end that she would discontinue tormenting her family on April Fools' Days, but never mind that right now.

"What I said then still stands now, Lu," Luna urged gently. "You can tell me anything and I'll go to the ends of the earth to help you. Now please, what's the sitch that's got you all tangled up inside?"

At last, Luan met Luna's gaze. Her eyes were soft and her expression warm; the concern etched upon her face was telling Luan that she didn't have to face her problems alone. She had her big sister by her side. It was a staple that she should never forget.

"Nothing can hide from you, huh Lunes?"

"Nope."

She shuffled her body around to face Luna directly, sitting cross-legged on the cushion once more. "Alright. Well, I guess I'm just…worried that I might not be good enough for Benny."

Luna tilted her head in confusion. "Not good enough? What do you mean, dude?"

"I mean I don't think I'm…mature enough to have a boyfriend. I don't know if I'm ready for all this. I like him, but…my habits…my lifestyle…" Luan's voice began to trail off. Her heart was beginning to feel heavy and her breathing shallow, but she struggled on, deciding to lay it all out flatly to Luna. No turning back now. The unsettled fears and worries that she had been hiding for over a month now and had tried to ignore came spilling out at a mile a minute.

"Look at me, Luna. I'm not like you, or Lori, or even Lincoln. I never know when to take things seriously or how. I bug you all with my pranks and jokes, and then laugh at your misery. My half of our closet has nothing but gag toys and dress-up costumes. I don't know how to put on make up like you, or Leni, or Lori, and the face paint used for making myself into a mime doesn't count. I wear bunny slippers every night and my favourite tv show is a bunch of poorly filmed home-videos where people do stupid stunts for laughs. Gosh darn it, I treat my Mr. Coconuts like he's alive! You even said you thought me riding the shopping cart this morning was out of my age." Luan looked down at her feet in a sudden cast of shame. "I know you guys don't say it, but you all view me as immature. And honestly, so do I. All our younger siblings know how to handle the world better than I do. Maybe there's something wrong with me or something…I'm just not grown up enough to deserve a boyfriend. I'm just a clown."

These anxieties, that had been building up in a disused storage cabinet within the back of her brain, had come firing out of her mouth with the force of an exploding canon. The fears that were in any way related to her new relationship that had arose and kept hidden since the day she had first kissed Benny as she lay in bed reflecting and wondering if she really had what it took to enter a romance were now exposed for her sister to see. Luna opened her mouth to say something, but Luan cut her off quickly, for there was one last thing she wanted to tell her.

"None of you like it when I act like a goof. Why should Benny be any different? But I really really want to make this work. I've been thinking…maybe I should change myself. Cut all my bad habits, make myself less childish and more serious, or whatever I'm supposed to be…"

A ramble was on the approach, to pour out her plan to make herself a different girl to secure Benny's love forever, but her statement of a complete self-transformation was all Luna needed to hear to know that she couldn't stay quiet any longer.

She reached forward and gently cupped her sister's cheeks in her hands, turning her face directly towards her and looking deeply into her eyes, silencing her. "Luan. Luan, look at me. That is the last thing I want you to do. You don't need to change yourself because there's absolutely nothing wrong with you at all."

A clear attempt to make her feel better by ignoring her many flaws. If only she were right. Luan stared at her in disbelief. "How can you say that? Didn't you just hear everything I listed that's wrong about me?"

Luna maintained her strong, yet gentle hold on her, standing her ground as she spoke. "All I heard was my sister trying to tear herself down to the ground."

As oddly comforting those hands felt against her cheeks, Luan gently pushed them away, leaving Luna feeling a little hurt. "But it's true. Don't try to make me feel better by pretending I'm not those things. I've got to be the most immature person in this family. I think even Lily has better common sense than I do. It never bothered me before, but now that I'm in a relationship, I feel so…so pressured to act my age. Ever since the day I kissed him, I keep feeling I need to somehow change myself." She hung her head low, lost in a jumbled mess of emotions, but refused to let tears spill. The resistance to cry before Luna sent painful jolts throughout her body that she compensated by reaching for her pink squirt flower pinned to her blouse. She undid it and dropped it on the coffee table, letting it fall and lie like a literal dying flower, before closing her eyes and wilting on the spot.

There were two dying flowers in the room.

Luna's eyes trailed off of her sister and landed upon the rejected plastic toy, deep in thought. As much as she didn't want to, she found herself sadly agreeing with her: Luan was definitely immature. More often than not, the rest of the family had to keep her in line or punch her in the ribs to get her to stop mouthing off or laughing at a situation that warranted seriousness. Even Lana and Lola knew when to shut up and listen instead of talking. While she could not hide from this fact, Luna needed to find a way to tell her sister that completely changing herself was the absolute worst way to handling her problem.

She considered Luan's current standing with Benny. She was well aware that Luan didn't have a lot of friends, and had trouble making them. This often led the jokester to putting top-notch effort in her comedy routines and performances, yet in truth, Luna knew that this was her way of lifting her own spirits, and deep down she was feeling lonely, longing for the type of company that each of the other siblings had and enjoyed. There were only a few friends of Luan that she knew off the bat, including that moody black-haired girl Luan had once entertained for at her birthday party and somehow befriended, and now Benny. It was obvious that Luan wanted very desperately to make this rare opportunity of a romance last, but her method of carrying that out via transformation was dangerously wrong. Luna herself was a popular girl and had many friends, both musically-talented and not, so she couldn't equalize with Luan's problem. She could, however, understand her false sense of a solution, for it had not been too long ago when Luna herself had fallen into the same trap. It wasn't a pretty memory to return to, but if she was to have any hope in saving her sister from falling any further and point her back in the right direction, it was necessary for them both to remember it. To forget or pretend that it never happened would be a sin.

"Luanny…I want you to think back for a moment. Last July. Do you remember what happened, and more so, what I did?"

Though a heavy heart was weighing Luan down as still as a marble statue, her mental hard drive fired up as it searched her memories to take her back to that time. She was quickly gripped by a rather painful evocation, but it was nothing compared to the agony that Luna was feeling as she too recalled this particular event.

I believe it would be easier to view this memory in Luna's perspective…

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A/N: Annnnnnnd we're stopping here. I need to buy a stick of gum.

But what incident could Luna be asking Luan to remember? It stems from a mistake she made in a past episode, so let's hear what your guess is.

It's awesome news that The Loud House returns this May. That's only a 2 month hiatus! Surprisingly generous when you consider how much work the team is involved with. Just thinking about it makes me look at the Star Vs The Forces Of Evil fandom, who had to wait close to a year for their Season 4, and just laugh. The distribution of TLH is handled much more efficiently; small line-ups of episodes followed by a break, then repeat. This gives the fans new content in small packages and a short break to think about them, as opposed to a huge chunk of episodes followed by a massive break with zero new content. People get bored too quickly. With actual content from the show, we can spend our time during these short breaks analyzing and reviewing them. Perhaps building fanfiction. There's more than enough substance to discuss about with 4 episodes each time.

Let me know what you think! Thanks again for the reviews, faves, and follows. Until next time.