A/N: Gosh darn it, Really Loud Music is so good. Luna's ballad was what hit me the most upon my first viewing. I've can't remember being pelted with so many feels in a Loud House episode than during that song alone.

Chapter 4 – Forgive, But Never Forget

Eight months ago (one month before Luna's departure):

The trip home was loud and rowdy as per usual with any ride in Vanzilla that involved the entire Loud family. But all attention was directed to Luna, who had no less than two hours ago been the show stealer and highlight of America's Next Hitmaker, no matter what the producers had to say about the matter; the audience screamed otherwise. With the show over, interviews done, and equipment packed up, she had left the performance hall with a standing ovation for Luna Loud, rather than a chic in pink called Lulu. Luna went home a happy girl; she may not have won the contest, but she did win something a lot greater than that.

There was little chance for her to catch her breath during the voyage home; her parents and siblings bombarded her with questions and compliments, with numerous shouts of 'Congrats!' or 'What were you thinking?!' all the way to Burpin' Burger to celebrate and eventually on the way home. And she was happy to respond to them all as they left the bright lights of the town for the sleepy suburbs that they called home. The day had drained a lot of her energy and there was nothing more that she wanted to do than to shower, exchange her sweaty threads for her pajamas, and fall right to sleep. It was almost midnight when she finally bid everyone 'good night', and retired to the quiet of her bedroom, where she performed her last act of the night: packing her precious guitar safely away in its case.

Or so she thought that would be her last act of the night.

She was just about to climb up the ladder to her bunk for a well-earned rest when Luan, also in her pajamas, put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She was smiling.

"You totally rocked the stage tonight. I'm proud of you, sis!"

Luna swelled with pride, something that she had been doing a lot of tonight. "Thanks, dude! I honestly didn't think I could pull that off. I'm just glad Chunk was able to bring all his amps and things in time, and back me up."

The comedienne leaned her arm nonchalantly against the side of Luna's bunk. "Even though you found a way out of your sticky situation, I'm glad you found it in yourself to jam! Get it?" She let out her traditional laugh while Luna groaned, though slightly flattered since Luan was simply complimenting her.

Assuming that the conversation was over, she resumed climbing the ladder when Luan spoke again. "Just promise me one thing, Luna." The rockstar sensed a difference in tone. She turned her full attention to her and noticed a strange sadness lingering in Luan's unusually quiet voice and that her smile had vanished. Luan sighed. "Don't ever change yourself again. You really gave me a shock back there."

Luna stared at Luan for a moment, then climbed back down the ladder to sit upon the lower bunk, with her little sister quickly following suit. She felt that an apology was needed. "I'm sorry about that, Luan. I just…I was in a real bind. You're right, I wasn't thinking straight. Too caught up in trying to please the whole world, I know. But I'll never make that mistake again. I'll always be me from now on, you can count on that."

Luan looked down at her bunny slippers and then leaned in to give Luna a tight hug, happy to have her sister back. Luna returned it, feeling the comfort of her little sister in her arms wash over her.

In her rush to impress the world, she had lost sight of not just her performance, but herself. She had changed her song, donned a new makeover, and had come close to completely changing her name. The hour before showtime had been one of the toughest moments of decision-making in Luna's life as she weighed on her options: to have the whole world love the singer and song that appeared on stage, or to take a chance to sing as herself and the song that had been written from her heart. Tonight's events had been a close shave for her already-shortly cut hair, but she had pulled through with the right move.

But only just.

Now she understood why Luan had been so scared; why everyone in her family had been so put off by her new look.

She then recalled Mick's words to her when she had been lying on her bed contemplating her position, and realized that he had been wrong; she hadn't been Luna Loud at all in that get-up. So focused she had been to be that 'one in a million' that she had almost sold her soul to the world for fame and fortune. The thought of how close she had come to changing her entire being and removing her true talent from the picture suddenly began to chew her up from the inside with a powerful venom of pure guilt.

"Lunes? P-Please don't cry. It's okay now."

Luan's small, frightened voice brought Luna back to attention as she pulled away from the rocker slightly with worry in her eyes. Only then was Luna aware that she was indeed crying. She didn't even try to hold back the tears that cascaded down her cheeks; tears laced with guilt and shame over her mess-ups. She wiped them away with the back of her hand, smudging her makeup. Luna spent a moment of gathering her thoughts before trying to speak again. Her voice felt so strained and cracked when she finally did.

"I'm so…so sorry, Luan. I really am. I messed up big time, dude. I was so…lost in trying to catch as much fame as I could…that I forgot why I wanted to enter a song in the first place. I…I feel so ashamed of myself."

"Lunes, you made the right decision in the end and fixed your mistake. That's all that matters now. That's why I'm proud of you."

Such simple, overused statements, but they were true. Luan pulled her sister in for another hug; she felt her roommate quivering against her shoulder and it soon began to feel damp, but her sobs were almost silent. Luan closed her eyes, allowing a few tears of her own to escape.

It was clear that they both needed emotional support tonight.

Luan rubbed Luna's back soothingly and whispered softly into her ear, trying to calm her down. "It's okay. It's okay to cry. Ssshhhhh. I'm right here. I forgive you." With her voice so kind and motions ever so slow, Luna began to relax, but her grip on Luan's shirt strengthened. So Luan eased her on to her bed, lying down so that they were more comfortable. Luna wept silently and all Luan did was hug her, continuing to whisper reassuring words that were nothing short of sweet. How she had nothing to apologize for, to let it all out, and that she was right here for her. She spoke so faintly that no one would hear her except the sister in her arms, even with the house's paper-thin walls. At last, Luna wore herself out and her shaking ceased. She shifted herself slightly so that she could face her sister.

"I…I'm sorry you have to see me like this..." she sniffled, overcome with guilt and embarrassment. It was not a pleasant feeling at all.

"Hey, it's alright sis," Luan hummed as she stroked Luna's arm. She rolled over and quickly whisked out a couple of tissues from her bedside cabinet drawer. She rolled right on back to face her sister and hand them to her, watching Luna blow her nose and slowly clean herself up. "I think we both needed a good cry. But it's over now. You may have made a wrong turn earlier, but instead of continuing down the wrong road, you backtracked and went the right way in the end."

Her statement actually caught Luna a little off-guard. She never really thought that Luan could think that deeply. But in such a moment like this, she was glad that she could.

"Thanks, sis," she murmured, wiping the last tear away, her mouth curving a little. Luan grinned.

"Is that a smile I see?" she whispered playfully.

Luna tried to hold it back with little success. "No…?"

Luan giggled at her. "Oh, it definitely is." She bopped Luna on the tip of her nose, giggling again, and this time Luna joined her. She couldn't help it. Though Luan's puns and jokes were more often than not uncalled for and placed at the most inappropriate of times, her little sister undoubtedly had the power to make anyone laugh.

They shared a little laughter, which seemed to be in order for both of them. After settling down, Luna gazed at her little sister and smiled. Luan may be annoying, obnoxious, and sometimes questionable in the way she sometimes treated her and the rest of the family, crossing the line just one too many times, but Luna could see past what the world saw on the outside. Deep down, the Luan she knew was one of the kindest, sweetest girls she had ever met. A wholesome soul with a heart of gold. She loved her little sister to death and despite her imperfections (and sometimes dangerous actions) she always found herself feeling happiest with her. What had she done to deserve such a caring sister and friend?

She pushed a stray strand of hair away from Luan's face and pressed the gentlest of kisses upon her forehead out of thanksgiving and gratitude. She watched Luan blush faintly, and then smile. She loved Luan's smile. The younger girl rested her head comfortably upon Luna's chest and sighed deeply. No words were spoken between them for the rest of the night; they instead cuddled together, concentrating on each other's breathing and enjoying each other's company. Luna's performance and now her crying had left the rocker feeling exhausted beyond the limit, but she also felt better now. Much better. Her once cloudy, confused mind was now clean and clear save for two items: one was to formally apologize to the rest of her family in the morning for her stupid actions and the other was that she had the most rockin' roommate ever. Among the many things she had learned tonight, the one lesson standing out to her right now was of a reminder of the comfort that she could always find within her little sister. There was only one Lulu in her life, but tonight, although brief, there had been two. Luna pushed the image of the pink-haired girl in the glittery show threads out of her mind as she began to nod off.

Never again, she thought triumphantly. That Lulu is dead.

And at long last, Luna knew she was right back where she belonged.

Present day:

"You taught me an important lesson that night, sis," Luna told her solemnly. "I didn't realize how far I was reaching for the spotlight just to make the world happy. I didn't catch on until I really saw how much I had scared you all when I first walked through the front door as Lulu. C'mon, not even Mom and Pops knew who I was. But it scared me too. The scariest part was that for a while, I really did think I was that glitzy, stuck-up freak, and I tried to play the part until it hit me that I had messed up BIG TIME. I stared at myself in the mirror and I could barely recognize myself. I was a ghost of a girl. I sang an entire song about it before deciding that enough was enough. In the end, I didn't land a record deal. But I did learn that it's not what you have…it's who you are. And who I was, wasn't me. I want the world to know me as the real Luna Loud."

Luna closed her eyes, that sorrowful ballad playing in her head. For one brief moment, she found herself sitting not on the family's tattered couch, but on a dirty ventilation box on the rooftop of the Royal Woods performance hall as the sky cried a thousand tears for her. In her sparkly pink show outfit, Lulu hung her head, lamenting with the one thought on her mind: What have I done?

In the blink of an eye, she was zapped back to reality, and was once again sitting on the couch facing Luan, who had long uncovered her face and was equally looking at her.

"And that's why I don't want you to make the same mistake I almost made. I think Benny would want to date a girl he knows, not a girl who isn't really there. I changed myself to please the world. And it sounds like you're trying to change yourself to please Benny. But changing yourself…ain't the way to get what you want. Don't you remember when Linc and Luce tried to go through radical changes to impress a mate? In the end, they learned what I want you to know right now: you're perfect just the way you are."

Luan, although still feeling conflicted, stared at Luna, then down at the coffee table as she let the memory and Luna's words sink in. True to what she said, Luna's transformation to Lulu had been an instant shocker to her. Almost riding on the borderline of traumatization. This wasn't the first time Luna had undergone a character change though. Many years ago, she had gone from a shy little girl to the rockstar she was now. But at that time, Luan had been too young to notice much and Luna had been seeking her true purpose, so effectively, that change had come almost as a welcome surprise as Luna found her inner placement. But to be the Luna she had grown up with one day and Lulu the next had been too much of a jump for Luan, one she was glad had long jumped out of the picture.

"Yeah…you did give me a bit of a fright. But why am I so…behind everyone else?" she pressed, suddenly gripped with unpleasant memories of her parents dropping her off in front of City Hall for the purpose of learning that 'life isn't all about laughs'.

"It's just a timing thing, dude. Everyone goes through this, but we don't all develop at the same speed. You'll learn to mature in due time. Because, yes…I do agree…" Luna hesitated, trying to put this down as politely as she could. "You can be a bit, er, wacky, and a little silly too. Sometimes a little insensitive." She watched painfully as Luan winced, so she quickly moved on. "But we all go through that, brah. And we all learn through time how to mature. Some get it faster than others, but in the end, we're all growing up. I'm not completely off the hook either, you know. Remember when I used to set off fireworks in the house just to make a big finale for myself? And in a house that falls apart with every step you take inside it, that's got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever done, man!

Luan couldn't help but smile, albeit a little. "Yeah, that was pretty crazy."

"If by 'crazy' you mean 'completely out of my mind', then I agree. We all make dumb decisions, dude. We're all immature. It means we're human. But we learn. The important part is that we learn from our mistakes."

Luna took a breath before continuing.

"But let me ask you this, dude. You told me that you and Benny hooked up halfway through April. It's the end of May now, and you had all that time in between for rehearsing together. Did he show any signs of being uncomfortable around you at all?"

Luan stared at her squirt flower, still lying lifeless on the table as she thought back. "No," she said carefully. "We…we've had tons of fun together. I have pictures to prove it." She pulled out her phone and quickly opened up the photo album she had been viewing that morning. She handed it to Luna, who took a quick scroll through…and instantly smiled. The images depicted her sister and her boyfriend playing, laughing, and goofing off together; everything that seemed to contradict what Luan had been worried about.

"Dude, you wanna know what I see here?"

Luan's mind screamed out what she asked in a low whisper. "What?"

Luna smiled broadly. "I see two weirdos having the time of their lives. It looks right as rain that you little dudes are pretty happy together."

Luan looked down at the photos. It sure seemed that way.

"But it's only been a month," she argued. "We haven't gone on any dates, so he's never seen me outside of the theatre doing my own thing. What if he doesn't like me for who I am?"

"Then he's not the right mate for you," Luna stated flatly, almost immediately. "If he can't see it in his heart to love you for who you are like you do for him, he's not your man. But judging by these pictures, it sure seems like he's reaching for you. I mean look at you kids, you're totally rockin' together!"

Luan's eyes lingered on a particular selfie of her and Benny hugging each other close. They weren't even in costume or holding any props, just…hugging. She remembered that one; he had embraced her for no apparent reason and she had been quick enough to whip out her phone and camera app before he let her go. This memory made her heart beat faster than a drum.

"I do love him," she whispered. "And it does look like he's happy, doesn't it?" She said this as more of a statement instead of a question. Luna matched her smile.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about," she soothed as she handed her phone back to her. "Love isn't easy, but it sure is hard enough. All you need to do is just be who you are and go far, go far."

She then moved closer to Luan and gently turned her around such that she was sitting behind the ponytailed girl. Removing the scrunchie in her hair and looping it around her wrist, she let Luan's long brown mane fall down and started to braid it. "Love is a funny thing, sis. But don't stop believin'. Sometimes you just gotta roll with it, other times you gotta make the first move. You already did that by signing up for the play to get closer to him. And look where you are now."

The younger girl smiled, partly because of these reassuring words and partly because of her distress fading a little at her older sister's touch. There were reasons why Luna meant the most to her; these were just two reasons.

"But," Luna said suddenly, "while you don't want to change your life, that doesn't mean you can't improve it. There's a difference between completely changing yourself and making yourself better."

Luan was instantly curious. "Like what?"